Wanting More
by Fiiaa
Summary: Bellrose has a dark secret she can't share with anyone, because she knew he'd never want to speak to her again if she broke her promise. While she struggles to win the guy's heart over who keeps telling her he has no heart she also notices the changes in Dauntless. Will she save her home or follow in the footsteps of the one she loves?
1. Party Like a Dauntless

The characters are portrayed by the actors of Divergent.

In this story you have to be 18 to do the initiation.  
So my OC will be 18 and Eric, Four, Lauren etcetera will be 24.

 **Chapter one – Party like a Dauntless**

* * *

Guarding the fence was known to be one of the lower ranking jobs at Dauntless, but my dad loved his job. Dad was gone most of the time, but when he came home he always told me stories about the beautiful fields at Amity and how much he loved being there. Not once did he complain about his job. Hearing him talk so excitedly about something other members considered a shitty job made me love him more.  
Mom was a doctor at Dauntless, since dad was gone most of the time she took care of me all by herself. She always told me that I was quite independent and that I didn't need anyone to take care of me. She always joked about me not fitting into Dauntless and sometimes I agreed with her.

"Bellrose if you don't hurry up you're going to miss the train!"

Grabbing my jacket I shrugged it on and quickly dashed through the apartment, passing my mom who shook her head at me and leaving the apartment in a rush. Being in a rush never ended well for anyone, that includes me. I ran right into someone as hard as steel, looking up I gulped realizing I ran right into Max. The main leader did not look that pleased with me, or maybe I was wrong. It was hard to tell what mood Max was in with his expressionless face.

"You should watch where you are going." He sounded rather calm about it, "These halls are quite dangerous already, with you dashing through them while you're looking down instead of ahead is life threatening."

"I'm late."

I should have apologized for bumping into him, but nothing came to mind while I looked at Max. The main leader simply stepped aside, gesturing for me to pass him.

"Well, don't let me stop you then."

I thought he would have preached to me some more, but he stepped aside like a gentleman. Something was definitely not right here. I felt like this was going to come back and hit me in the head when I wasn't looking.

"You're not going to make it if you stand here staring at me."

"Sorry."

Finally an apology! It looked like Max could appreciate it too. Running past him I made it at the train tracks on time, barely though. I had to run, jump and hope I wouldn't fall. Leaning against the wall across the door I tried to catch my breath.

"You okay?" I glanced sideways, meeting my friend's concerned gaze, "I mean girl, for a minute I thought we had to brush your brains off the pavement."

I gave her a slight push, "Hilarious, May, freaking hilarious."

Unlike my friends I couldn't joke about stuff like that, because in all honesty I did fear missing the jump and getting killed. My brains splattered across the streets of Chicago didn't appeal to me. I never mentioned my fears to my friends though. Dauntless were fearless, at least that's the crap we tell other faction members. I didn't believe in the concept of people being fearless. People always feared something. One of my fears was missing the jump, but I was sure I had plenty more.

"What's with you, you on your period?" May asked, folding her arms across her chest, "You're usually a lot more fun to hang out with."

"I ran right into Max when I tried to catch the train." I told her, trying to lighten the mood between us, "He didn't yell or punish me, but I have a feeling it will come back later."

"He didn't yell?" May sounded surprised, "Maybe he was in a hurry too? I'd watch my back if I were you." She leaned closer to me, "These Dauntless leaders always hold grudges." She whispered, "I heard Eric made Logan his personal target dummy after Logan accidently bumped into Eric at the dining hall."

"At the dining hall?" My eyes widened as I got the hint, "Did he spill food all over Eric?'

May pressed her lips together, trying to hold her laughter in as she nodded her head. I could picture it now, food all over Eric while he turned bright red trying to contain his anger. I was sure the young Dauntless leader would have wanted to snap Logan's neck. Using Logan as his personal target was him being nice.

"Logan should thank the lord for still being alive."

May smiled, bumping my shoulder with hers, "Since his punishment is over Logan is holding a party at his house. The parents are away so you know what that means."

Oh, I definitely knew what that meant. Everyone was going to get wasted, school would not be an option the next day. I definitely wanted to go. Who could say no to a Dauntless party? We knew how to have fun without giving a fuck about anything else.

"We're invited so after dinner we're going to his house." May nodded toward said guy who stood a few feet away from us, "I know your mom is not going to allow you to go so we'll just tell her you're staying with me."

"You think my mom doesn't talk to yours?" I asked May, "I'm so screwed if she finds out I lied about staying at your place."

"My mom won't kiss and tell."

I knew May's mom was cool with the partying and the drinking. She was a true Dauntless. I didn't envy May though, because even though my mom was a hardass she wasn't an airhead like most Dauntless members. She told me she transferred from Erudite so I guessed it was her Erudite roots which made my mom so rational.

"Are you nervous?"

Frowning I tilted my head sideways to meet May's gaze, "Nervous about the party?"

"No, stupid!" I rolled my eyes at May for her outburst, "The aptitude test next week."

The aptitude test was the last thing I wanted to think about. I didn't know what to expect from it, something told me that I wasn't a true Dauntless, that I didn't belong there. So instead of looking forward to initiation like most of my friends I dreaded it. The test was supposed to help you discover which faction you belong to so it shouldn't be something you feared, you should welcome it with open arms, but I was afraid the test would tell me what I knew deep down.

"Earth to freaking Bell-" May waved her hand in front of my face, trying to catch my attention, "We're here."

Pushing myself away from the wall I followed May, jumping out of the train when we reached our destination. Whenever Dauntless jumped out of the train all eyes were on us. I knew people thought we were insane for moving through town the way we did.  
May grabbed my hand and ran with me through our gate, the passage was clear so we didn't need to push anyone aside so we could enter the building without breaking away from each other.

"We have faction history classes, May." I protested when she ran right past the classroom, "May!"

"Lockers first."

We didn't need to grab anything from our lockers so I was certain May was up to something. Whenever she planned something I had to stay alert. Her plans were always devious and never ended well for me.

"Stay right here." She pushed me against my locker and held up her thumbs, "Be brave!" She snickered as she walked away from me, leaving alone by the lockers.

I didn't need anything from my locker, but when I wanted to walk away I noticed Logan making his way through the crowd to reach me. The confident look in his eyes said enough. Evil May knew what Logan was planning and she helped him instead of her best friend. It made me want to choose Dauntless during the choosing ceremony just so I could kick her ass during initiation.

"Bell." Logan greeted me with that sexy smirk girls at Dauntless came to love, "I'm throwing a party tonight."

"I heard." His smirk didn't make me swoon like most girls though, "May and I are dropping by."

"Cool." I could tell the fact that I didn't stutter or bat my eyelashes at him made him want to try even harder to be charming, "Is it weird if I ask you to be my date?"

"It's kind of weird." I admitted, "But sure, why not?" It would be my chance to find out why girls were swooning over Logan the way they did.

We walked back to the classroom together, ignoring all the stares we received as we entered the room. May who was grinning like an idiot winked at me. I shook my head at her and took a seat next to the devious girl.

* * *

Dinner at the dining hall went by fast. I thought things would become awkward between Logan and I, but we actually managed to entertain each other. He needed to head back to his apartment to set things up for the party. Instead of going to May's to get ready for the party I went along with Logan to help him with getting his apartment ready.

"You sure your parents won't freak out when they notice all their beer is gone?"

Logan grinned, "They know about the party, Bell. I just had to make sure everyone stays away from the good stuff." He pointed to a cabinet, "It's all stored in there. So if you need something stronger you know where to look."

Rolling my eyes at him, I gave Logan a playful push. I had no problem with people drinking and having a good time, but I didn't need alcohol to have a good time, I could do without it just fine as well. Logan stalked across the living room and headed to the door, opening it so people could walk in when they wanted.

"So now we wait." I sat down on the couch.

Logan took a seat next to me and placed his feet on the table in front of us, "Now we wait." He grabbed onto the remote control for the stereo and turned it on, "I'm grabbing a beer, do you want one?"

He was already on his feet, walking to the refreshment table where bottles of beers were stored along with some snacks.  
Handing me a bottle he sat back down next to me and sipped from his beer. The silence between us wasn't awkward, if anything I quite enjoyed his company while we listened to music and drank our beer. I knew that minute of silence would soon be over though.  
Logan was the popular kid in our class, people loved flocking around him and listen to every word he said, even if everything he said was bullshit.

"Logan, dude!"

And gone was the minute of silence, just as I predicted. A bunch of guys walked into the room, heading straight for the refreshment table to grab some beers. They all looked surprised when they spotted me on the couch.

"Who is the chick?" The blonde guy who I recognized as one of Logan's close friends, Braden.

It took everything I had not to snort at his question. I raised my bottle up in some sort of greeting and tried to force a smile upon my face.

"Bellrose." I answered before Logan could.

Braden raised his bottle in a greeting as well, "Braden."

Logan and his group of friends stayed by the refreshment table, having some guy talk. I tried to eavesdrop from the couch, but it was hard to since the music blasted through the room. All I heard were mumbled words which I couldn't piece together to make a sentence.  
When other peoples started to fill the room I felt less awkward, because the guys clearly needed a minute together.

I gasped when May suddenly plopped down on the armrest next to me, almost making me spill the content of my drink. She handed me a cup and nodded toward Logan.

"He said he wanted you to have the good stuff."

Placing my half empty beer bottle on the table in front of me, I carefully sipped from the cup. The liquid was strong, burning my throat and warming my belly. I had no idea what it was, but the liquid definitely did it's job. A minute ago I was still clear, now my head was spinning, making me feel like I knocked back ten bottles of beer.

"Easy, Bell." May laughed, grabbing onto my shoulder when I moved forward.

With her help I got to my feet, looking into the cup of doom which Logan prepared for me.

"This is sooooo strong." I told May who laughed again.

"Clearly!" She took my cup from me and sipped from the stuff as well, "Fucking hell!" She squealed, "What the hell is it?" She placed a hand against her forehead, "I feel like I just walked into a wall or something."

I couldn't agree more with her. May who loved to get wasted actually handed me the cup back and brushed me off.

"If I drink more of that my night's over."

I followed her gaze when I noticed the gleam in her eyes. Smirking when I saw her flirting with Braden. I didn't like the guy that much, but I knew May didn't care about personality. She just wanted to have a good time and forget about the consequences.

She pointed toward Braden, "I'm over there if you need me."

I took another sip from the liquid of doom and headed toward Logan who watched me every move. His smirk broadened when I closed in on him, his arm wrapping around my waist while he pulled me against his body. I pressed my free hand against his stomach and slowly trailed it up, letting it rest against his chest.

"How is it?" I followed his gaze to the cup I was holding.

"Strong." I answered, taking a huge gulp from the liquid and handing it back to him, "You can have the rest."

Logan took the cup from me and knocked it back in one go. That was such a bad idea, it was a miracle he was still standing on his feet after that. I closed my eyes when I felt his lips press against my neck and clutched onto his shirt while I enjoyed the feel of his lips traveling up my jaw and slowly heading toward my lips. I trailed my hands up his shoulders and dug in when I felt his lips press against mine.  
The kiss was wet and sloppy, but I still enjoyed it. It was a drunken kiss, which actually made me forget about everyone else in the room.  
In the background I heard some guys cheering and calling crude things, but I was too caught up in making out with Logan that I didn't pay attention to their childish behavior.

Logan pulled out of the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine, "Let's go somewhere private."

In the back of my mind a little voice screamed to me to get away from him, but my body was longing to be touched by Logan. I let Logan grab my hand and lead me down the hall. He opened a door which I assumed led to his bedroom, and locked it behind him once we were inside the safety of his bedroom.

"Logan we-"

He pressed his lips against mine again, swallowing my protests. I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body against his. The sounds of our heavy breathing filled the room, we were both clawing at each other trying to get as close as possible to each other as we could. Logan walked us to the bed and let me fall on top of it. Carefully he took my boots off and let them fall on the ground, kicking his own boots of in the process as well. Slowly he crawled on top of me and settled between my legs.  
The little voice in my head was drowned out by the thumping I had after drinking that liquid of doom. The room was spinning and everything Logan did to my body felt freaking amazing. His fingers left a burning hot trail over my stomach while he pushed my shirt up. Within a second my shirt went over my head and got tossed on the floor as well.  
His lips claimed mine again while he devoured me . He unzipped my pants and slipped his fingers into my panties. I should have stopped him right then and there, but it was hard when I couldn't focus on anything else but him. My whole body trembled when his fingers brushed over my clit. He rubbed the sensitive bud and deepened the kiss, his tongue fighting mine for dominance.  
I tried tucking on Logan's shirt so he would lose it. I needed to feel his bare chest against mine, though I was still wearing my bra. I just needed to touch his bare chest.

"Logan…" I whined, moving my head to the side so he'd stop kissing me for a second, "Shirt. Off-" I threw my head back when the intense burning feeling in my core started to build up, "Now!"

Chuckling, Logan pulled away to toss his shirt aside and slipped his hand back inside my panties. It hurt when he slipped a finger inside and my whole body stiffened.

He hushed me, "It's okay I'm going to make you feel good, I promise."

He started to move his finger in and out of me, setting up a rhythm and after a while it did feel good. That burning sensation in my core started to build up again. I was about to reach that toe curling orgasm till Logan slipped another finger inside of me. It didn't hurt as much as before, but it still made me feel uncomfortable.

"Relax, baby." He whispered in my ear, "If you relax you'll enjoy it more."

I wanted to reach that toe curling orgasm again, but I wasn't into it as much as I was before. Logan didn't seem to care though. He quickened his pace, his thumb now rubbing over my sensitive clit. When he started to rub my clit again I slowly reached my toe curling orgasm again. I closed my eyes and held tightly onto Logan while I tried to focus on that feeling.  
He hit something deep inside of me which made me explode like a firecracker. I threw my head back and a loud moan escaped me, echoing through the room.  
It might be my imagination, but I think I heard some chuckling right outside the door. Logan had locked it, or at least I think he did. That sound though, it pulled me right out of this trance.  
Placing my hands against his shoulders I tried to push him away, but somehow he didn't get the hint and pressed his lips against mine again. I wanted to call myself a strong, independent girl who didn't fall for stupid things like that, but I did. The minute he kissed me I forgot about the sounds outside and focus on Logan and his kissing.  
Logan slipped my pants down my legs and somehow managed to do that without breaking the kiss, I had to applaud him for that since I couldn't even get his shirt off without being a complete disaster. He finally pulled away from me and cupped my face in his hands, the momentarily gentleness was in contrast to everything else he did the minute we locked lips. It definitely caught me off guard.

"You're so beautiful, Bell." He whispered, brushing his thumb over my lower lip, "So fucking beautiful."

He started to unzip his pants, the sound echoing through the room. I knew that it was my last moment to walk away, but I'd lie if I'd say I wasn't curious to know what everyone was always raving about. Logan wasn't a bad guy to lose your virginity to.  
Before he tossed his pants to the floor he grabbed a package out of his pocket and got rid of his pants and boxers. He focused on rolling the condom onto his erection which even though wasn't that big still made me nervous.

"You need to relax, Bell, then it won't hurt."

I inhaled deeply when Logan rolled my panties down my legs. May raved on and on about her first time, she said it was fucking amazing. So I really didn't understand why this made me so nervous.  
Then I felt his tip press against my entrance and really tried to relax. It didn't prepare me though, because he slowly slipped in and it hurt so fucking bad I just wanted him to stop. Logan held firmly onto my hips as he started to move, whispering my ear how much he liked it. After a while it didn't hurt that much, but unlike Logan I didn't enjoy it. The sounds he made alerted me that he was close. Then he quickened his pace which made me feel uncomfortable again and finally he stopped moving, a loud groan echoing through the room. He collapsed next to me on the bed and closed his eyes, trying to catch his breathing. Grabbing onto his shirt I slipped it over my head and glanced at Logan.

"Where is the bathroom?"

For a minute I thought he had fallen asleep, but then he pointed to a door at his right. I quickly walked to the bathroom and cleaned myself up as much as I could. Unlike the other girls my age I didn't get the appeal to the sex, it wasn't that great and kind of messy. Once I was cleaned up I peeked out the door and was grateful to hear Logan's soft snoring. Thank god he fell asleep, right now I didn't want to face him. What would I tell him? Thanks for the bad sex? Grabbing my pants and underwear off the floor I carefully slipped it on, trying to be as quiet as possible. Slipping my boots on I tiptoed out of the room and closed the door behind me. My worst nightmare came through when everyone turned to look at me with knowing eyes. Without giving them much attention I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of the strong stuff Logan was supposed to keep away from his friends. He screwed me and not in a good way so I deserved something in return.

"Where is Logan?" May was suddenly in front of me grinning at me like an idiot, "Did you two…"

"Where is Braden?" I asked in return, trying to change to subject.

May shook her head, "He is around." She grabbed onto my shoulders, "Did you?"

I pulled away from her and headed out of the kitchen, "We'll talk later."

Not giving her time to react I dashed out of the apartment, trying to dodge everyone who came into view. Somehow I managed to escape the scene without anyone stopping me. I couldn't go home though, mom would know I lied to her and she'd give me a long speech about trust and ridiculous Dauntless parties where girls like me always got in trouble. I couldn't go back to May's place either because her mom would probably find it odd I didn't come home together with May. So I ended up at the chasm.  
Taking a sip from the bottle I sat down near the edge and observed the water. When the silence hit me, everything that happened today washed over me and before I knew it the tears streamed down my face and I couldn't do anything to stop them. I took another sip from the strong liquid, knowing I needed to let it all out so I could move on tomorrow. I probably looked ridiculous in an oversized shirt which clearly wasn't mine, drinking and crying at the same time. Thank god everyone I was close to was still getting wasted at Logan's party.

"Are you going to jump?"

For a second I thought I imagined that voice, because I only heard that voice during speeches by Dauntless leadership. When I glanced over my shoulder I nearly did fall forward and almost died in the chasm.

"We had no jumpers this month and I like it to stay that way." Eric moved closer to me, "So I'm ordering you to step away from the chasm."

"Isn't it the bravest thing to do?" I questioned him, "Falling into the unknown?"

"There are two types of Dauntless. The brave and the stupid."

He was so right, but all the alcohol I had consumed tonight made me a blabber mouth. I should have walked away from Eric before I'd do or say something to upset him. The last thing I needed right now was pissing off a ruthless Dauntless leader.

"Are that really the types?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him when he took a seat next to me and stealing the bottle from me, "We always say you have the Four kind of Dauntless and the Eric kind of Dauntless."

The look he gave me should have made me fled the scene, but at this moment I quite liked Eric's presence. He made me forget about the horrible evening for just a minute. No one would ever believe me if I tell them Eric made me feel better. That he actually made me smile.

"So are you going to tell me why you're crying and drinking by the chasm? Heard there is an epic party going on-" Eric glanced at his watch, "Which Maxi is going to end right about now."

Okay, now he pulled me right back into that horrible mess. It was embarrassing that the tears streamed down my cheeks again while Eric sat right next to me. There was no helping it though. I tried taking the bottle back from Eric, but he held it up in the air, glaring at me the only way Eric could.

"That's my bottle get your own." I pouted.

I tried to brush the tears away, but they only got replaced with fresh ones so I didn't even bother with it anymore. Eric held the bottle to me, but didn't release it when I tried to take it.

"Give me a reason to give this back to you."

I released the bottle and stared back at the water, trying to let the loud sound drown my thoughts away instead of the alcohol, but that wasn't as effective.

"You know they keep raving on and on about how fucking amazing it is to have sex with someone-" I heard Eric shift beside me, but I didn't care, he asked for a reason so I was giving him one, "I didn't see the appeal though. It's awful, horrible, shameful and it made me feel like drinking and jumping into the chasm."

I felt Eric's eyes observing my face, but I refused to look at him. I spilled something to him I didn't want to tell anyone else, while I knew Eric was the last person you should spill your dark secrets to. Right now I was even wondering if I made Eric up, that he wasn't even there. That he was the voice of reason projected in the body of someone I apparently would listen to. I was definitely losing my mind.

"Then you didn't have sex with the right person."

"So you'll only enjoy it with the right person?"

"No, you'll enjoy your first time better if you do it with the right person." I snapped my head in his direction and watched him take a large gulp from the strong liquid, "After that sex is just sex. Sometimes you fucking enjoy it and other times you just enjoyed it."

So Eric was indeed something my mind made up to be the voice of reason. It had to be. The Eric everyone knew wouldn't say stuff that actually made perfect sense. Then again he was originally from Erudite and they were usually rational people.  
He snapped me out of my thoughts when he got to his feet and held his hand out to me to help me up as well. I thought the preaching would start the minute we were both on our feet, yet it never came. He simply turned on his heels and headed to the narrow hallway to leave this place. He stopped right in front of it and glanced over his shoulder.

"You coming or what?"

"What?"

Then I saw that look in his eyes again, "I'll show you sex is not something you should shy away from." He must have seen the look of disbelieve in my eyes because he continued, "This is an onetime thing. I don't want that fucking asshole to be the reason why you never want to have sex again. It can be fucking amazing, Rose."

He knew my name. He actually knew who I was which surprised me more than the fact that he suggested to have sex so I wouldn't be afraid of being intimate with someone else.  
Without hesitation I followed after him, not even bothering to ask myself what the hell I was doing. If I was having a weird sexual dream about Eric I never wanted it to end.  
When we reached his apartment, he stopped in front of his door and turned around. His eyes narrowing on me as his look suddenly became a lot more serious than before.

"This is an onetime thing. We'll never talk about this ever again, do you understand?" He asked, looking pleased when I nodded, "Afterwards you're going straight home."

"I can't-"

He didn't let me protest, "Home."

I knew there was no arguing with him when he gave me his usual ruthless Dauntless leader look. Only a fool would challenge him when he was like that.

"I understand, Eric."


	2. Holding Grudges

Thanks for the reviews and follows guys.  
I appreciate it!

 **Chapter two – Holding Grudges**

* * *

Running down the hall and entering the living room I was pleasantly surprised to see my dad sitting at the dining table, grinning at my mom who looked at him the same way I looked at Eric last night. I was definitely interrupting something and even though I didn't have breakfast yet, it felt like it was coming up.  
When I wanted to turn around and head back to my room to give them some privacy, my dad spotted me and gestured to me to come closer. The grin on his face was contagious, because I couldn't help but to grin back and momentarily forget about all the concerns I had this morning.

"You're back." I closed in on my parents and giggled when my dad stood up, throwing his arms around me to give me big hug which cut my breathing off, "Can't breathe dad." I whispered, smiling when he released me and held me at arm's length.

"You're going to school?"

I nodded, glancing at my mom who still looked pissed at me. Stumbling home last night drunk while smelling like a boy did not sit well with her. She didn't scream, but her preaching was also very successful. She also grounded me till initiation started, because then I'd be leaving home. So I was basically grounded till I had my own home.

"Mom-"

She shook her head, "No."

I wrapped my arms around my dad's waist and leaned my head against his chest, knowing he'd choose my side even though I was the one at wrong here.

"But I haven't seen dad for weeks. I can miss one day, right, mom?"

"Yes, mom." My dad added which made me bit my lip to keep myself from smiling while my mom rolled her eyes, "Come on, Anna, it's not that big of deal. You hardly learn anything you'll need to use during initiation anyway."

"John." My mom sighed, "Your daughter is grounded."

My dad wrapped an arm around my shoulders, raising an eyebrow at my mom, "Why?"

"Because she lied to me." She narrowed her eyes on me, "She attended a party, got home drunk last night while smelling like aftershave."

"You can't ground her for that."

Now it was me who raised my eyebrows at dad. My mom always disapproved of the Dauntless parties which was odd considering that was the way Dauntless de-stressed after a day of hard work. My mom rather picked up a book and settled on the couch while sipping her tea. I however liked to party to de-stress and by the looks of it, so did my dad.

"She lied to me about staying at May's-"

"And that was wrong." My dad agreed, "But she wouldn't have to lie about that if you just accepted the fact that parties at Dauntless are a regular thing which youngsters do. I was young once too and that includes loud dance parties while drinking a beer."

We were getting off point so I needed to ask my question once more, knowing my dad had convinced my mom with his little speech about his life when he was younger.

"So can I stay home, mom? I just want to catch up with dad…"

My mom sighed, nodding her head, "Fine, but you're not leaving the apartment today."

"What about dinner?"

"We have a kitchen, Bell. Use it."

I glanced at my dad who winked at me in response. Dad pulled up a chair for me and gestured for me to sit down while he took a seat as well. I was about to ask him about his shift back at Amity when a loud knock interrupted our moment of silence.

Mom got up, "That's for me. Why don't you two catch up?"

She headed to the door and opened it slightly. It was enough for me to catch a glimpse of the person at the other side of the door, Eric.  
Mom stepped out and closed the door behind her, shutting us out while she discussed whatever it was with Eric. It then hit me why Eric knew who I was. He knew my mom. Didn't he find it awkward to have sex with the daughter of a woman he was closely working with? I felt awkward, but apparently it didn't matter to him.

"So who is this boy?'

"What?" I glanced at my dad who seemed very curious about whatever he asked, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

"Anna isn't in trouble if you're wondering about Eric showing up. She has a big project which leadership of Dauntless approached her for." Dad shrugged like it was no big deal, "I asked about the boy. Who is he?"

Having a physical relationship with someone was not frowned upon in Dauntless. The only rule we had was to be safe about it and I was safe with both guys I slept with. I couldn't mention the sex with Eric though, no matter how mind-blowing it had been and bringing up Logan was just awkward. That was definitely really bad sex, I never wanted to think about that ever again. I knew though that I could talk about it with my dad, my mom would just call me stupid and tell me I-told-you-so. That's not what I needed right now. So I leaned forward and hugged my dad tightly, loving the way a flowery scent lingered around him. Reminding me of the place he had been for weeks.

"I don't really want to talk about it." I told him quietly, "It wasn't a great experience."

My dad kissed my hair, "That's fine. Just know that I'm here if you do want to talk."

I snuggled into his chest, "I missed you so much, dad."

He chuckled, kissing me on my hair again, "I missed you too, Bell. I'll be leaving after your choosing ceremony, so we have a lot of time to catch up."

That was the longest period of time which my dad stayed at Dauntless. I loved it. I knew he requested if for me so he could witness me choosing Dauntless at the choosing ceremony. He never specifically told me to choose Dauntless, but I knew he hoped I'd choose Dauntless.

"I love it."

We both turned to look at the door when my mom entered the apartment again. She walked back to the table, holding a bunch of files in her arms. It was definitely business which mom and Eric discussed and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious about it. I wanted to know what kind of project my mom was working on which involved Dauntless leadership. I also wondered if that's why I ran into Max in this hallway yesterday. If that was the case than whatever my mom worked on was VERY important.

"Everything okay, Anna?" My dad asked.

She nodded, "Everything is fine, I need to head to Erudite for a meeting. I'll make a call to your school, Bell." She kissed my dad on the lips and kissed my cheek before she rushed back to the front door.

When she opened it I met Eric's gaze. He stood across the door leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in front of his firm chest which I could picture naked, covered with a sheen of sweat. My cheeks flushed as I remembered how it felt to have his chest pressed against mine while he kissed the life out of me. I couldn't quite tell what he was thinking, but something in his eyes told me he knew exactly what I was thinking. It made my cheeks burn up even more.

"Since you're leaving us next week I'd like to spend more time with you, Bell-"

"Dad! That sounds so horrible." I laughed, "But yes, I'd love to do spend more time with you, though I can't exactly leave the apartment. Mom would freak."

"She needs to loosen up." My dad brushed her off and got to his feet, "Let's have breakfast at the dining hall and we'll see what we'll do after that."

Spending time with my dad was always fun. I knew it was not exactly nice of us to disregard my mother's wishes, but this might be the last chance I had to spend a whole week with my dad. I was still a bit unsure about what faction to choose so the aptitude test would probably help me with that. In the back of my mind I kept the option open to choose Dauntless no matter what the test said.

After breakfast dad and I went to the training room where he showed me some easy moves which he thought everyone should know just to defend themselves. It were the same moves he showed me every time he visited, he just wanted his daughter to be prepared for the worst so I always took it seriously. After knocking my dad off his feet I helped him up and started working on the punching bags. It would help with all the frustration. Eric definitely helped me forget about Logan at the time, but the memories flooded back the minute the alcohol wore off and I was alone in my own room. Regret and shame were making it hard for me to forget about the stupid decision I made to lose my virginity to Logan. I knew my dad was right and I needed to talk to someone about it, but there was no one who I wanted to talk about it with. May wouldn't understand, she was my best friend and I loved her, but she was also one of those girls who only swooned about how hot a guy was. Other things like personality didn't matter to her. She might be nice to me, but she could be a complete bitch to other people.

"Someone has a lot of anger in her." My dad said as he approached me, "You want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, keeping focused on my punches, "I'm good."

"Bell…"

I didn't slow down, but I could hear the concern in my father's voice, "I'm really good, dad."

He didn't say anything after that, but I knew he wasn't convinced. After our work-out in the training room we headed back home. Mom was very clear about her wishes so we wouldn't be so bold and stay out the whole day. After my shower I sat down on the couch in the living room while dad was preparing us lunch. Right before he was finished mom entered the apartment, but not alone, Eric was standing right in the doorway whispering things with her. I wanted to act cool and pretend his presence didn't mean anything to me, but I couldn't help but to feel the need to feel him close again. To feel his lips press against mine again and to have him touch me like I meant everything to him. He made it very clear though that it was just an onetime thing for him and that it had no deeper meaning. Just sex.  
Eric met my gaze, which resulted in my cheeks flushing to the color of tomatoes. He caught me staring at him, but his expressionless mask gave nothing away. His eyes lingered on my face for a minute before he looked back at my mom and nodded at something she said.

"You staying for lunch, Eric?" My dad called, interrupting their conversation without caring.

"I need to run. Thanks for the offer." And with that the Dauntless leader was gone.

My mom closed the door and turned around, "You prepared lunch, John?" Her whole personality changed the minute Eric was gone, it made me wonder what the hell my mom was involved in, "It smells amazing." She dropped her files right in front of me on the table and helped my dad set up the table, "Did you two have fun today?"

"Yes, we had an amazing time." I said before my dad could answer, "Your meeting at Erudite took a while. Is it a big project you're working on?"

I sat down at the table, watching my mom set it, "We're testing a new serum which will be used for the new aptitude tests next year. I can't say more because it's confidential, Bell, but we're working on great things. Great things cost a lot of effort though, so I'll be busy."

"Initiation is next week so you'll have a lot of free time."

My remark made both my mom and dad look at me. They knew I was going to start living my life as an independent starting next week, somehow my words surprised them both though. As if they never saw it coming.

"Yes, I guess so." My mom took a seat across me, "So what did you two do?"

"Some training and just catching up." I shrugged, meeting my dad's amused gaze, "Nothing extravagant." I thanked my dad who placed a bowl of hot tomato soup in front of me and grabbed a spoon to swirl the hot liquid around, "Are you working together with Eric on this project?" I asked, trying to sound casual about it, "I saw Max hovering the other day too, so it's a big deal, right, mom?"

"This is amazing, John." My mom smiled at him, "Yes, I'm working closely with Eric on this project. He has a lot of connections back at Erudite and he needs to oversee everything." I felt her gaze on my face, but I didn't look up, afraid she might see something in my eyes which she wasn't meant to see, "He isn't as bad as they say he is, Bell. So don't worry, I'll be fine."

It wasn't odd that she thought I was worried about her because everyone was convinced Eric was the devil himself. He had that reputation for a reason, he was actually ruthless to his faction members. The moment I had with him was one of those once in a lifetime moments. Eric never shared a lot with people, the faction members barely knew him. I had no idea about what people he hung out with, nor did I know what he liked to eat and the dining hall was the only place I usually saw him at.

"Okay."

"I hope not to see you that much during initiation." My mom said which made me frown, "I mean not seeing you in the med unit will be a good thing you know."

My parents were now both convinced I'd choose Dauntless. I looked back at my soup, enjoying the warm liquid which filled my tummy and made me feel more at ease while having this awkward conversation with my parents.

"Bell will do fine." My dad grinned, "You should have seen her at the training room. She'll be a challenge to some."

"A lot of Dauntless kids are good at fighting, dad. It will be a challenge if I do choose Dauntless."

"That's true, but we've been training a lot whenever I'm home. With the right amount of training from your instructors you'll be able to get through stage one."

My mom smiled, "Yes, Lauren and Eric will definitely prepare you kids for the fights."

Eric would be overseeing initiation again, that was something I had not thought about. I knew I was the only one who would think that it was awkward, Eric didn't care. How was I supposed to pass initiation at Dauntless when the guy I slept with was going to be there most of the time, making me feel all awkward and uncomfortable. Sex with him was amazing, but that would only make me be more awkward around him.

"I don't know if I'm going to choose Dauntless yet…"

The silence in the room said it all. They were not going to like it if I defect from Dauntless, they wouldn't say it in many words, because they loved me. But their silence was enough to confirm my suspicion.

"Bell, you haven't done your aptitude test yet. Of course it's very wise of you to keep your options open." My mom was bringing her logic to the table and I could tell my dad didn't like that one bit, "Maybe your aptitude test advices you to choose Amity or Erudite, maybe Candor. We shouldn't assume that Dauntless is what fits you. We don't know that yet."

She didn't mention Abnegation, I knew Erudite never liked Abnegation that much. My mom was Dauntless though, yet these past few days I saw more Erudite than Dauntless in her. Abnegation was not a faction which appealed to me, but it could be possible that I had an aptitude for that selfless faction.

"Your mom is right."

Simple words which my dad spoke as if he was constipated. I wanted to laugh, but I knew that would definitely ruin the mood. I already made everyone feel uncomfortable around the table, there was no need to make it worse.

* * *

 **A week later…**

Shifting in my seat I watched my friends being called to the testing rooms one by one. This was the moment of truth, the test would tell me what faction I belonged to. May walked back, her expression saying it all. She got Dauntless. She wished me luck when my name was being called. Getting off my seat I slowly walked to the hallway and entered the door which was held open by a Dauntless administrator. I didn't recognize the guy, but at least he was somewhat familiar.

"Take a seat."

I sat down in the reclining chair and eyed the small glass containing a blue liquid suspiciously. The guy held it up to me and smirked, "Bottoms up, kid."

Knocking down the liquid in one gulp I handed the glass back to the guy and leaned back in the reclining chair.

 _Running after the kid who was trying to flee from the aggressive dog, I managed to come between them and tackled the dog head on, piercing him with the knife. Fear wasn't what flowed through my body, but concern for the kid. When I looked up to see if the kid was okay the room changed. I was standing in what looked like an Erudite courtroom. I paid attention in school I knew we were given situations from every faction to determine which one we belonged to._

" _She knows the truth!" A man dressed in a mismatch of colors which told me he was factionless yelled, "Tell them the truth! You know I didn't do it right?"_

 _Didn't do what exactly? I glanced around the room, searching for answers. People were staring at me, expecting me to answer. I couldn't tell them anything though, because I had no freaking clue what the hell was going on here. Instead of facing them I ran, heading out the door leading me in a room which was completely empty when a piercing light brought me back to reality._

Panting for air I glanced around the room, my eyes lingering on the guy who was typing away on the computer. He looked up when he noticed me staring at him and raised an eyebrow at me.

"What did I get?" I asked, not wanting to wait for the man to speak.

"What do you think, kid?" He asked.

I sat up, trying to read his expression, "I don't know that's why I'm asking."

"Dauntless." He answered, yet he didn't look very pleased about it, "But do you think running out of that courtroom was a Dauntless thing to do?" He got up from his seat and slowly stepped toward me, "You also got Abnegation because you showed acts of selflessness."

That was not good. Your aptitude test was supposed to tell you which faction you belonged to. It wasn't supposed to give you an option. It had to be either Dauntless or Abnegation, not both of them. I knew I was in trouble.

"I manually entered Dauntless for you, but I'm warning you now. Initiation is going to be hell for you. If you show signs of anything but Dauntless in you, they're going to hunt you down." He stood right across me, "Dauntless initiation has three stages, you need to be very careful during the emotional stages, that's when they can find out to the truth."

"The truth about what?"

Fear crept up in me, making me shift uncomfortably in my seat. I wanted to run and never look back, but I knew I needed to listen to this guy, my life depended on it.

"About what you are." He narrowed his eyes on me, "Divergent is what they call it." His eyes flickered to the door, his look matching mine when he met my gaze again, "You need to leave."

I was taking a hell lot longer than most of the students so I knew he was right. Getting to my feet I made my way out of the room, trying hard to keep my fear bottled in. May was hanging out with Logan and the rest of his jerk friends so instead of joining them at their table I headed for the train tracks. School wasn't over yet, but I had no desire to sit in a classroom while I was freaking out about my results. The guy who warned me about Dauntless and the initiation process, whoever they were would catch me during the emotional stage of the initiation. The warning in his eyes were clear, if they caught me they'd kill me. Staying in Dauntless would be the end of me.  
Keeping my gaze on my feet as I walked I was considering the options I had. I had an aptitude for Abnegation and everyone knew Abnegation were too kind to kick anyone out. If I chose Abnegation I would survive. Their shapeless, gray clothing made me sick though, and could I really give up Dauntless cake? Dauntless cake was amazing, something people died for. It was exaggerating about that, but it was pretty damn good.  
Climbing onto the platform I managed to jump onto the upcoming train without slipping or falling out. Mission accomplished once again. I still disliked the whole transportation, but it was also better than to walk around town for hours. This form of transportation was also a plus. My family depended on me too, and I honestly couldn't think about never seeing them again. Could I really choose another faction other than Dauntless? Probably not.

"Skipping school, do you think that's brave or just stupid?"

That voice, that deep voice which made my whole body tremble with want pulled me out of my thoughts and made me look up to meet his stormy gaze.  
The compartment was completely deserted, it was just the two of us staring each other down. When I tore my gaze away from him and glanced around I noticed that we were probably the only people on that train. That excited yet scared me at the same time.  
Eric was not someone you could read, he managed to hide every single emotion he felt behind an expressionless mask. He was also unpredictable, making him the most terrifying man I had ever met. Yet rolling around in a bed with that man made my body yearn to be touched by him again, to feel his body press against mine while he helped me reach that toe curling orgasm which had me screaming for him.

"Brave yet leaning very slightly toward stupid."

His lips curled up to a smirk, "I'd say stupid and leaning slightly toward brave."

He was in a playful mood, I had seen him in a playful mood when he was teasing me. Playful Eric was fun and gave me what I needed after winding my body up to the point he had me begging.

I unzipped my jacket while holding his stormy gaze, "Than this must be really stupid." I let my jacket drop to the floor and slowly moved toward him.

Eric didn't move, but I saw the way his eyes darkened. He wanted this as much I wanted it, since we were the only people on that train we could both get the release we needed.

"If we do this-"

"I can't linger and need to head straight home." I reached for the zipper of his heavy military jacket and slowly unzipped it, the yearning between my thighs only getting worse by feeling his heated gaze on me, "Don't worry, Eric, I get the drill."

Wrapping arm around my waist he spun us around so fast I had barely time to blink. He pressed me up against the cold steel wall, lifting me up so I had to wrap my legs around his waist to keep steady. My initiation which would start the day after tomorrow would definitely become hell for me. I had to find a way to blend in, trying to stay off the radar while I didn't want to stay off the radar so the Dauntless leader who was about to give me a toe curling orgasm would notice me.  
My breathing hitched in my throat when I felt his fingers slip into my pants, brushing against my inner thighs. My breathing picked up when I felt his fingers slowly move toward my aching core, I clenched my hands around his biceps, trying to fight off the urge to scream for him to stop teasing me.

A shiver ran down my spine when I felt his breath against my ear, "I told you it was an onetime thing."

He released his hold on me, making me stumble back against the wall trying to find my support. The sound of his jacket being zipped up again only embarrassed me more while he looked at me with that annoying, smug look on his face.

"Asshole." I muttered under my breath but loud enough for him to hear.

I was about to pick up my jacket to slip it on when I felt him grab my wrist very tightly and spin me around to make me look at him.

"Tomorrow starts the first day of initiation, you think you can pretend I didn't fuck you in a moving train when you need to make the jump?" I felt his eyes on my face as I looked everywhere but at him, "Look at me when I talk to you." His tone made me jump, that was definitely the tone a scary Dauntless leader used to make someone fear them, "I should be punishing you for skipping school and insulting a Dauntless leader."

My heart was beating in my throat when I heard him mention school again. I couldn't tell anyone about my test results, let alone my fear about getting killed for being Divergent whatever the hell that meant. Tilting my head back I looked Eric straight in the eyes, trying to hide the fact that he scared the crap out of me.

"Are you going to punish me for it?" I wanted to sound tough when I said those words, but I knew in reality I sounded like a little girl.

He tightened his grip on my wrist which actually hurt now, I didn't want to show it though so I bit through the pain knowing there would probably be a bruise later.

"That won't be fun, now you're expecting it."

I remembered May telling me that the Dauntless leaders always held a grudge, Eric would definitely remember this and attack me when I least expect it during initiation.  
He released my wrist and backed up again, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed while he looked all sexy and unapproachable again. That man made me want to kiss him and smack him at the same time. Fuck, I was so screwed.

* * *

Thankfully when I arrived home my mom was nowhere to be seen so there was no coldhearted preaching which led to me pouting in my room. My dad only babied me when I told him that the aptitude test freaked me out. In a way it did freak me out so it wasn't a total lie. He told me to take it easy while he prepared me something to eat, life was so much more fun when my dad was home.

"Why did you run away?" I looked up from my book, just in time to see May entering my room like a tornado and dropping down next to me.

I couldn't tell anyone the truth not even my parents so I had to stick to my story for the lie to become real. My dad already believed me so I could probably convince a bunch of people about my freak out.

"I lost it during the test." That slipped out easily, "I just couldn't be around people after that. It was so embarrassing."

"Okay, fine." She laid down next to me, taking my book from me and flipping through the pages, "So why did you run out of Logan's party?"

I knew she wouldn't let that go. I also knew that May had been hanging out with Logan and his friends, there was no way they kept quiet about me. It hurt knowing May would betray me like that.

"I ran out because Logan was really bad-" The surprised look on her face made me feel just slightly better, "I mean really bad in bed. I didn't want to see him after that awkward screw."

"Really?" She dropped my book on the bed and turned to look at me, "I thought you two were-"

"No." I cut her off before she could even dare to say it, "We're never going to happen." And I would never admit it out loud but after Eric I couldn't even picture being together with Logan again.

She nodded, "You're still okay? What happened during the test?"

I stared at the ceiling, knowing in the back of my mind that May didn't actually care, but it felt good having someone beside me to talk to. Even though I couldn't tell her the truth about the test or Eric.

"I got sick during the test." Another lie, I had to keep track of all the lies I was telling these days, "Then I ran away and bumped right into Eric-"

May sat up, her hands covering her mouth, "No way. How are you even breathing?"

I'd like to know that too, if he didn't cut me off that coldly I would still be panting for breath because he'd fuck me till I lost my mind.

"He said he is going to make me pay, but I wouldn't know when."

May ran her fingers through my hair, her look of sympathy almost making me burst out in laughter. Almost. The truth was Eric would probably make me pay for calling him an asshole and skipping school. Dauntless leaders always held grudges.

"You need to watch your back." May warned me, "Initiation is going to be tough, last thing you need is Eric riding you."

I had to bite my lip so hard I tasted blood to make sure I wouldn't laugh. If May knew what I was picturing right now she wouldn't look at me with those teary eyes.

"I'll be fine…"

"If you say so." We both knew I was just acting tough, "I would just like to remind you that Dauntless has five leaders and Eric is the one everyone fears." She shrugged carelessly, "Just saying."

"That's not true, Max is our main leader and everyone-"

May pressed her finger against my lips to shut me up, "When Max wants to get things done who does he asks to get them done?"

Eric. The whole compound shivered in their boots when the Dauntless leader passed through. The crowd would step aside for him, not everyone dared to look the man in the eyes. And I fucked him right after I lost my virginity. I was definitely screwed.

"Now you get it." May pulled me in a hug, "It was nice knowing you."

Smiling I wrapped my arms around her and tried to forget about the fact that tomorrow I had to choose a faction which would decide rather or not I would survive being the way I was.


	3. Don't Piss Off a Dauntless Leader

**Chapter three – Don't Piss Off a Dauntless Leader.**

* * *

"Are you regretting your decision?"

Eric's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, I pushed myself away from the railing and turned to look at him. He had his hands clasped behind his back as he walked toward me, his eyes focused on the water that flowed down in harsh streams, the sounds echoing through the room.

"I'm just thinking."

We were not supposed to be out since we had a curfew, it surprised me that he didn't mention that the moment he spotted me on the bridge.

"About?"

I lowered myself, sitting down on the cold steel as I dangled my feet off the bridge, "Initiation."

That wasn't the only thing on my mind, but what I saw today I could never share with Eric. The confidential stamp was on that file for a reason and I broke not only my mom's trust, but also Dauntless leaderships' trust. He wouldn't let me get away with what I had done.

"What is there to think about?" He asked, I felt his eyes on top of my head, but I refused to look up, "Tomorrow is your first day of training. Instead of worrying about it, you should head to bed and rest up."

"I can't sleep. That's why I'm here in the first place."

Eric lowered himself as well, taking a seat next to me, "You'll regret your decision tomorrow."

I glanced at him, "I'll take my chances."

His lips slightly curved, "What do you think? Is it brave or just stupid?"

Eric asking that question brought up the memories of the other times we had met. The first time he asked that we slept together, the second time he asked that question he messed around with me. It made me wonder where he was going with this. I didn't want to make a fool of myself again though, so I clenched my fists at my side, forcing myself to stay put.

"I'd say brave, but I already know how you feel about it."

He looked ahead, but I could tell he was amused by me. He placed his palms on the cold steel and leaned back, titling his head to the side to meet my curious gaze.

"The first day won't be that brutal for you Dauntless born." He narrowed his eyes on me, "Does that calm you down enough?"

It only slightly calmed me, the fact that I knew things I wasn't supposed to know still freaked me out though.  
Getting to my feet I brushed the dust off my sweat pants and watched Eric stand up as well, his tall frame looming over me. His height and built made everyone fear him, including me. I knew him intimately, that did nothing to the fear I felt whenever he was close though.

"Thanks. I should head back."

The smirk that spread across his handsome face made the nerves rage through my body, "Don't thank me yet." He folded his arms across his chest, "You have a curfew, initiate. For breaking the rules you get to do ten laps before training starts tomorrow. Meet me at the training room at seven."

I should have known he would eventually bring up me being out of the dorm past curfew. Eric enforced the rules upon us and people who broke it shivered in their boots, fearing what Eric had in store for them.

"Yes, sir."

He stepped aside so I could walk past him to head back to the door. The butterflies in my stomach went nuts when my hand brushed against his as I passed him.  
I sneaked back into the dorm, crawling into bed thinking no one saw me. I was wrong though, because when I turned to my side I felt someone looking at me.

"Where did you go?"

May.

"To the chasm." I whispered to her, "I couldn't sleep."

"You know you're not supposed to be out there past curfew. If they catch you-"

"Eric caught me." I whispered, interrupting her, "And yes, he punished me for being out past curfew."

She sighed, "You should really stop provoking him. One of these days he'll get enough and won't let you get off the hook that easily."

"I'm not doing this on purpose."

I heard the smile in her voice, "I know you're not. Just be careful around him, okay?"

I promised her I would be careful around him. Eric was capable of horrible things, everyone knew that. So May was right, I shouldn't provoke him, one of these days he'd get enough of me. What he'd do then frightened me.

* * *

 **Next morning**

Slipping out of the dorm I headed to the training room just as Eric asked of me. When I pushed through the heavy doors I was met with the sight of Eric doing shirtless push-ups. A black puddle of clothing next to him along with a water bottle. It didn't come to a shock to me to see him train that intently, he had a very nice built so obviously he had to maintain it by training, a lot. I stepped closer to him and jumped back when he suddenly jumped to his feet and looked down at me.

"You're on time." He sounded impressed, "Didn't think you'd make it after wasting time worrying at the chasm last night."

He scooped his towel and water bottle off the floor and placed the towel around his shoulders while he gulped down half the bottle. I had to press my thighs together to make the ache slightly fade, he was purposely torturing me right now!

"Ten laps, as agreed." He wiped the sweat off his forehead and raised an eyebrow at me when I didn't move, "Are you deaf, initiate? Ten laps, now!"

Not wanting to anger him I quickly starting moving, doing the ten laps which Eric asked of me. I tried to ignore him as I pushed my body to keep up the pace, wanting to have this over with so I could actually have breakfast before training started.

"Keep up the pace!" His voice boomed through the training room, "We don't have all day, initiate."

I hated it when he didn't call me by my name. The way he emphasized that word told me he did it on purpose though. He wanted me to react to it, making me remember my promise to May. I wouldn't provoke Eric, knowing there would come a day he wouldn't be so nice to let me do ten laps. He'd make me do something much worse, so I held back to words and finished my ten laps.

"You can go." He told me when I bent over, trying to catch my breath. Raising up and stepping forward, I bumped into his hand which held out his water bottle.

He was offering the rest of his water to me, reaching out to take it he still held it firmly in his grip as my hand closed around it.

"Don't break any more rules." He warned me.

When I nodded in response he released the bottle and turned his back to me, slipping his black t-shirt over his head and shrugging his jacket on. I sipped from the bottle as I walked past him, knowing I couldn't stare at him all morning. I still had thirty minutes left to eat breakfast so I sprinted to the dining hall and took a seat next to Xenia who was already up and having a very loud and cheerful conversation with an older guy with dark hair and dimples in both cheeks as he smiled.

"Morning." Xenia greeted me as I took a seat across her and her friend, "Where did you go so early this morning?"

"I was out past curfew last night so I had to do ten laps this morning as punishment."

I eyed the line at the cafeteria and got to my feet, looking down when the guy beside Xenia stopped me by grabbing my wrist.

"You should be more careful, Rose."

Xenia punched the guy's shoulder, "Stop being a creep, Mike!" She scolded him which made him release my wrist, "This is my brother Michael, he works at intelligence together with Four."

Meaning he kept an eye out on the city and compound. I had a feeling I knew what he was warning me about and nodded in response.

"Thanks for the warning, Michael." I walked past him and went to grab myself a muffin and a glass of orange juice.

When I returned Xenia and Michael were arguing about something, by their surprised looks I was sure they were arguing about me.

"So who made you do the ten laps this morning?" Xenia asked, stuffing her mouth full with scrambled eggs.

"Eric." I felt Michael's gaze burning on my face, but I refused to look at him, "He caught me hanging out at the chasm."

"You go there often?" I had a feeling Michael knew a lot more about me than I wanted him to know.

I kept my gaze on my muffin as I responded to his question, "Whenever I want to clear my mind."

After we finished breakfast Xenia and I headed to the training room together. The divided the space, transfers were at one side together with Four and Dauntless born at the other side together with Lauren. Eric would oversee initiation so it made me wonder who he was going to join first, Four or Lauren.

"Okay, gather 'round." Lauren called, gesturing for us to come closer, "Four is taking the transfers to the roof to practice shooting this morning, so we're going to practice knife throwing. After lunch we switch." She narrowed her eyes on us, "No fooling around, got it?" She asked, raising her voice a little.

When we agreed she walked to the table and collected three knives. We followed after her, standing at a distance while Lauren showed us a few techniques to throw the knives and making them stick to the dummies.

"I know you can do this already, so to make things interesting whoever has the highest score will be excused from doing laps around the compound tomorrow morning."

The circles around the dummies across the room had certain points to them. The outer circle obviously the lowest score and the rose the highest. This would be interesting. Collecting three knives from the table I stood next to Xenia who looked as excited about this as me. Getting excused from running tomorrow sounded like heaven to me so I wanted to win.

"Lauren forgot to mention that whoever has the lowest score will have kitchen duty the rest of the week."

A shiver ran down my spine when I heard his voice. He was standing right behind me, that wouldn't distract me at all. Hint the sarcasm.

"So I'd suggest you give it your all." I could hear the smile in Lauren's voice, she was just as excited about this as the rest of us.

Swirling the first knife in my hand, I planted my feet firmly on the ground and focused on the dummy across me. Taking a deep breath, I threw the knife when I exhaled. 50 points, that wasn't a bad start. Swirling the second knife in my hand, I focused on the rose wanting those 100 points badly. I threw the knife making it land on the same circle as my first knife, another 50 points.

"Damn it!"

Xenia looked amused at my outburst, "100 points isn't that bad, Rose." She swirled her knife around, "I'm at 75 so you could do a lot worse."

"I know." I whispered.

Being excused from running laps tomorrow was probably out of the question, but just once did I want to hit bullseye though. Glancing down at my last knife I raised my hand, making the knife clatter on the floor when I felt someone grab my hips in their hands. That grip was familiar to me, too familiar. My breathing picked up as I slowly glanced over my shoulder meeting his stormy gaze.

"Pick it up."

If I did that we'd be in a very awkward position. So far no one knew about my night with Eric, but rumors would start if I bent over right in front of him while he held onto my hips.

"I will if you release me." I whispered.

He got the hint and stepped back a little so I could pick it up. Quickly grabbing my knife off the ground I spun around and met Eric's gaze again. He looked unimpressed though. He stepped forward placing his hands back on my hips and spun me around, making me face my dummy again.

"Straighten your back." I tried to ignore the burning sensation I felt when Eric pressed one of his hands against my stomach, "Tighten your core and focus on the dummy." My breathing picked up when I felt him press completely against my back and brushed his lips over my ear, "Swift and with a lot more force." He whispered when I wanted to throw my last knife.

I felt him pull away from me and did as he told me. Just like that my last knife hit the rose, giving me a total of 150 points. It wasn't enough to be excused from laps tomorrow morning, but I was glad I hit the rose once, and that all thanks to Eric.

"Nice job." Xenia turned to me, "I didn't hit the rose once." Her lips curled to a smirk, "Then again I didn't have a Dauntless leader help me with that."

There was no excuse I could come up with to tell her so I shrugged in response. Lauren called us over to announce the winner and loser.

"Glad to see all of you still have your fingers." She joked, "Damon had a total of 250 making him the winner." She turned to look at Laura who was part of Logan's little group, "You have kitchen duty for the rest of the week, Laura."

Eric stood behind Lauren, his arms folded across his chest as he eyed us with that stern look on his face, "Now the little competition is over start practicing your technique. No one is allowed to hit the outer circle, if I catch you hit 25 you'll get an extra lap tomorrow morning."

Collecting our knives from the dummy we started to practice again, this time just to improve our technique and trying not to hit the outer circle. I heard Lauren and Eric move behind us, watching us like hawks. I tried to hit the rose a few more times, remembering the tips Eric gave me.

"Fuck!"

I glanced beside me to see Xenia's knife sticking in the outer circle. Oh, she was screwed.

"An extra lap, initiate." Eric announced behind her, making her groan in frustration.

Focusing my attention back to my dummy I tried really hard not to hit the outer circle. Class was almost over so I was almost there, almost. When I threw my last knife someone shoved me, making my knife stick completely outside my dummy.

Glaring at my left I met Logan's amused gaze, "Fuck you, Logan!'

"You already did, Rose."

He was supposed to be at the end of the line together with his friends, so him pushing me was definitely on purpose. Wanting to punch him in the face, I gasped when Eric tightly grabbed onto my wrist and pulled me back.

"I don't want to see this kind of behavior outside of the fights." He warned me, his voice lowered.

I clenched my fist, trying to pull my hand away from Eric, but his grip on me was so tight I was sure he'd leave a bruise.

"But he-"

"I don't care what he did." I glared at Eric's grip on my wrist, "You behave properly outside the fights, understood?"

Glancing up I wanted so badly to wipe that arrogant smirk off Logan's face. I had no idea why he suddenly decided to mess with me, but if it wasn't for Eric I would have made it clear to him that I wouldn't allow it.

"Understood, initiate?" Eric asked, raising his voice a little.

"Yes, sir." I said through clenched teeth.

Eric released his hold on me and stepped to Logan, which surprised me, "And you, go stand in front of the target."

"What?" Logan asked, the smug look finally wiped off his face.

I couldn't see Eric's face, but the way his back straightened told me he was pissed. Logan would regret messing around under Eric's watch. I had to bite my lip to make sure I wouldn't smile.

"Did I stutter?" Eric asked, making Logan shake his head slowly, "Then go stand in front of the target!" Oh, Eric was definitely pissed.

Once Logan was standing in front of the target, I could tell he was scared shitless. His chest was rising and falling so fast I was surprised he also didn't visibly shake in his boots. Eric collected three knives from the table and stood next to me, his gaze focused on Logan.

"What did Lauren tell you at the beginning of practice?"

Logan frowned, not responding to Eric's question. He probably didn't listen to Lauren so he couldn't give Eric the answer he wanted.

"Could anyone reply for this idiot?"

"She told us not to fool around." Damon answered, making Eric nod.

"And what did you do, _idiot_?" I had to press my lips together to make sure I wouldn't laugh, but the others around me did laugh, "You pushed a fellow initiate who was about to throw her knife." Eric swirled a knife in his hand, his eyes focused on the steel, "I don't tolerate that kind of behavior under my watch-" With that he threw his first knife, it being awfully close to Logan's neck. Only missing it by a few inches, "If I see you flinch you're out."

Eric threw his remaining knives at a lightning speed. One knife landing right above Logan's head and the last one landing scraping his side which made Logan flinch. Everyone held their breath and looked at Eric, awaiting his reaction.

Eric pointed toward the shivering Logan, "You're out."

The room fell silent glancing from Logan to Eric as if it was a tennis match. I almost felt sorry for Logan, almost. If he hadn't pushed me to taunt me he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

"But you cut me." Logan grabbed onto the knife and pulled it out of his shirt, "Of course I flinched!"

"Can't handle a little scratch?" Eric didn't seem fazed by Logan at all, "A lot worse could have happened when you pushed your fellow initiate. I don't want that kind of behavior during my initiation so you're out."

Eric turned his back to Logan and was about to walk away, my eyes widened in surprise when Logan threw his knife toward Eric, the knife missing him just by an inch. Oh boy, Logan, I wasn't the one with a death wish you were. I held my breath as Eric spun around and stepped to Logan, the fall of his boots echoing through the room. He grabbed Logan by his collar and dragged the boy with him.

"Congratulations. You won the privilege of being escorted out of the compound by me."

Now I feared the worst for Logan. I had a feeling Eric wouldn't let him off just by throwing him out. We all stared in shock as Eric dragged Logan with him out of the training room. I saw two soldiers heading to Eric before the door to the training room closed.

Lauren cleared her throat, trying to get our attention, "Let that be a lesson, initiates. Take training more seriously and don't ever try to challenge a Dauntless leader." She straightened her back, "Class dismissed. We'll meet on the shooting range after lunch."

We were all silent during lunch, making the transfers who joined us later stare at us in confusion. Usually we were a lot louder, messing around a lot. Eric's display of power made everyone realize how serious leadership was about training. I didn't know about the rest, but it made the fear crawl up in me.

"I can't believe Logan did that." Xenia whispered to me, "He threw his fucking knife at Eric!"

"You think he is okay?" I whispered to her, "I don't think Eric will let him off that easily."

"Getting cut is Eric being nice?" Xenia's eyes widened, "Then I fear for Logan's life."

Me too. We ate the rest of our lunch and met up with Lauren on the rooftop. Eric wouldn't be joining us for this, so I guess that gave us time to calm down and focus on training again.  
Lauren demonstrated to us how to handle a gun, emphasizing that this was far more dangerous than throwing a knife, so we were warned. I knew no one would be messing around this time, Eric made sure we all understood that.

"I hate you." I glanced aside, meeting May's gaze who stood beside me as we practiced our shooting, "How can you be good at this and throwing a knife."

"You need to position your body the same way as when you threw the knife, only standing more firmly on your feet for the recoil."

"I wasn't paying much attention to instructions back then." May admitted.

She was probably messing around together with her new group of friends. Sighing I put the safety back on and lowered my gun, turning to May to watch her posture.

"Spread your legs more." I told her and placed my hand on her stomach same way Eric had, "Keep your core tight and focus on the target."

She did as I told her to do and finally did hit the target. She didn't hit the rose like I did when Eric helped me, but I wasn't a Dauntless leader so I assumed my tips were not as good as his.

"Thanks." She smiled at me.

We practiced till it was time for dinner, leaving my body cold and hurting. I wanted nothing more than to take a shower and head to bed, but I knew my body needed the nutrition so I headed to the dining hall first even though my muscles ached and protested.  
After dinner I headed to the dorm, faltering in my steps when I saw that my bed was trashed. My stuff were scattered across the room and in red letters the word 'whore' was painting above my bed.

"Hey wait up-"

Xenia bumped into me and stared the exact same way as me at the letters. I knew I should move and clean it up, but I couldn't. Logan had been escorted out of the compound by Eric so he couldn't have done this. So my mind wondered to his group. They probably thought it was my fault Logan got cut by Eric.

"Stay here, I'm going to get Lauren." Xenia squeezed my hand gently, before she sprinted away.

The others started to fill the room so I started to collect my things, trying to clean up as much as I could. Most of my clothes were ripped, so there was no point to keep them. I collected everything and dumped them in the trash bin near the showers, ignoring the whispers around me.

"What the fuck." I heard Damon whisper, "Who did this?!" I let my eyes wander to him and noticed how pissed he looked, "Dare to step up for your actions, you fucking coward!"

I took the sheets off my bed and spun around, facing Lauren and Four who both looked as pissed as Damon, "Are you okay?" Lauren asked, taking the sheets from me while Four tuned to address the group.

"If no one steps forward everyone is held responsible." He told them calmly, "So I suggest you collect the cleaning supplies and start cleaning. When I get back this-" He pointed to the letters, "Needs to be gone. Do I make myself clear?"

I had never seen Four that pissed before. Pissed off Four could be as scary as Eric. Everyone scattered doing as Four asked of them.

"You keep a watch on them while I take her to Eric." Four told Lauren, placing his hand on my back, "Let's go, Rose."

For a minute I was surprised that Four knew who I was, then I remembered he was the one who pulled us off the net and asked for our names, so of course he knew who I was.  
The walk to Eric's office was silent, but after the shock, anger started to kick in. Whoever ruined my stuff had to pay. I had nothing to do with Logan being cut so I didn't deserve what they had done.

"You okay?"

"They blame me for what happened during practice."

"Who is they?" Four asked.

He didn't ask what happened during training, so I assumed he knew.

"Logan's friends." I shrugged, "Who else could it have been?"

Four nodded, "It's the most logical explanation, but you know, without hard evidence leadership never punishes people for their crimes."

I wanted to stop in my tracks, but Four kept his hand firmly pressed against my back and pushed me forward to keep me moving.

"They ruined my things!" The anger was slowly creeping up, boiling over, "Logan getting cut by Eric was his own damn fault." I snorted, "And calling me a whore? Who are they to judge me when I know they have done far worse things than I have."

"Did you get it out of your system?"

Four's calm question snapped me out of my rant, "Um, yes?"

"Good, cause we're here." He knocked onto Eric's door and waited till the leader granted them permission to enter.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Four?" Eric's amused tone faltered when he spotted me, "What did she do?"

Four gestured for me to step inside and closed the door behind him, "She didn't do anything. Some of her fellow initiates trashed her belongings and painted something very uncreative above her bed."

I rolled my eyes, "They painted whore above my bed, Four, whore." I noticed that my words made Four cringe, but I didn't have the time to explore that some more because Eric interrupted my rant.

"Leave us, Four. I'll handle this."

"You will?" By Four's response I guessed Eric didn't do this often, "I'll check on the others." He excused himself, closing the door firmly behind him.

"Did they trash everything?" Eric asked.

I leaned back against my seat, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt, "Yes."

He nodded slightly and reached into his pocket, my breathing hitched in my throat when he placed his black card on the desk and pushed it toward me. What shocked me wasn't the fact that he just handed me his card, but the redness on his knuckles. He beat someone to a bloody pulp and I could guess who.

"Without hard evidence we can't punish anyone, but you do need clothes to wear so I'll replace it for you."

I tore my gaze away from his knuckles and glanced at the card, "Just like that?"

"No." I met his gaze, swallowing when I noticed the mirth in his eyes, "You'll pay me back by helping Four and Lauren clean after training for the rest of the week."

"I have my own." I muttered, not wanting to take his point's card.

"I know." His leather chair creaked when he leaned back, "But I'm sure you don't have enough to replace your wardrobe. Take it or don't take it. Just remember that initiation will last weeks and you can't run to mommy for help."

Glaring at the guy I reached for the card and took it, "Fine. Am I excused?"

He nodded, gesturing for me to leave. I got to my feet and headed to the door, my hand lingering on the doorknob when I heard Eric call my name.

"You have bad taste in men."

Smirking I glanced over my shoulder, "You do know you fall into that category?"

I sprinted out the door before I could hear his response. Smiling I hid the card in my pocket and headed back to the dorm. Eric was cruel and he could be terrifying, but he was also fair when it came to making decisions. That was probably part of being a leader so even though I knew Eric was right and I had bad taste in men, I couldn't care less.


	4. Taunting Eric

**Chapter four – Taunting Eric**

* * *

After training Xenia stayed with me to help me clean up the training room.

"I can't believe Eric is making you clean up." Xenia huffed as she collected all the knives and placed them neatly on the table, "You were the victim here!"

I smirked, "He isn't make me clean up because he blames me for what happened." I stepped closer to her and leaned in, "Want to go shopping with me after we're done?" I whispered to her.

She got the hint, the annoyance fading, "Hell, yes!" She dumped the last knives on the table and turned to face me, "I almost wished they trashed my things instead."

Lauren approached us after we finished cleaning up the place, "You are dismissed. Have fun, guys."

Four was the hot instructor everyone was eying like he was a piece of Dauntless cake, but Lauren was cool too. She was laid-back and actually cared about us. I didn't mind being in her class even if she wasn't as mouthwatering like a piece of Dauntless cake.

"Dinner and then some shopping?" Xenia suggested.

I agreed, following her to the dining hall. The minute we stepped inside I felt people glaring at me. Xenia dragged me with her to the cafeteria so we could get our dinner, making me forget about whoever tried to kill me with their looks.

"Are you okay?" Michael asked once we sat down.

"I'm fine." I smiled at him, "I mean probably one of my closest friends is trying to hurt me, but without any hard evidence we can't proof anything, can we?"

"Don't hold back the sarcasm." Michael joked, "So Eric isn't doing anything about it?"

I shrugged, "He can't without any hard evidence." I repeated, "So now I have to watch my back to make sure no one stabs a knife in it."

Xenia smirked, "I got your back, Rose. Don't worry about it."

After dinner we went shopping for clothes and I was very glad I asked Xenia to tag along since some girl advice on what to buy and what not to buy really helped me pick out the right wardrobe.

"I can't believe Eric is actually replacing your wardrobe." Xenia whispered when she watched me slide Eric's card to the girl behind the register, "That's actually a nice thing to do, you know. I'm still waiting for it to start raining blood."

"Stop being so dramatic." I snorted, "And he isn't doing this for free, I'm cleaning the training room for the rest of the week, remember?"

Xenia helped me get the bags, thanking the girl in unison with me as the girl handed me Eric's card back.

"Cleaning the training room is him being nice." Xenia stopped in her tracks and nodded ahead, "Four and Michael are hanging out in the pit, let's join them. You know to get your mind of things."

Glancing at the bags I took them from Xenia and nodded toward the guys, "Why don't you go ahead while I drop this and Eric's card off first. I don't feel comfortable having it-" I leaned closer to her so she was the only one who heard me, "I know how many points he has on it and it scares me." I whispered to her.

Xenia's eyes widened, "Damn it, Rose, we could have bought a lot more fancier stuff in there and it wouldn't have harmed his account one bit."

That was true. He had a lot to spend, a lot. I just didn't want to take advantage of that. Pushing her toward the guys I giggled when she slumped her shoulders and stepped forward.

"I'll see you in a bit." I called.

Heading to the door I dropped the bags off on the bed, knowing this time no one would dare to touch my stuff. Eric made sure the dorm was guarded, a soldier always hovering near the door to keep track on us. It was sad it had come to this point, since we were Dauntless born and initiation was supposed to be smooth on our side. Transfers always had issues, but apparently this year it was the other way around. And it pissed Eric off, big time. Walking out the door I headed for Eric's office, hoping he would be there. I was about to knock on the door when it suddenly opened and Max nearly ran into me.

"We should stop meeting like this, Rose."

"I'm sorry, Max."

He clasped his hands in front of him, amusement glistering in his dark eyes, "Is that an apology without me having to ask for it?"

I shrugged my shoulders, trying to brush it off, but I know what he meant. Last time we ran into each other he had to drag an apology out of me. This time it slipped out of my mouth without it needed to be said since nothing happened in the first place.

"Dare I say initiation is already doing you good?"

I wanted to protest, but I realized that Max was probably right about that. Eric definitely made it clear to us to follow the rules. What would happen if we didn't follow the rules wasn't pretty.

"I guess it is."

Max glanced over his shoulder, "Keep up the good work, Eric."

Stepping aside I let Max pass me, trying to ignore the amused look he had on his face as he walked away. We might think that things slip past Dauntless leadership, but it didn't. It was like they knew everything, which was actually terrifying if you thought too long about it.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Rose."

Eric moved back behind his desk, taking a seat on his leather chair again. I stepped inside his office and closed the door behind me, heading straight for his desk and held out his card to him.

"Thank you."

He eyed the card before he met my gaze and reached out for it, "There is no need to thank me, you're repaying me for it." He glanced at his watch, "I have a meeting in a few so I need you to leave."

He didn't pay me any attention after that and I knew that he wasn't mad at me for making that comment yesterday, because he was his normal self during training so I assumed he was actually really busy. I headed to the door and opened it, blinking a few times when I stared right at my mother.

"Bell?" She looked confused to see me, "What are you doing here?" Her hands reached out to me, grasping my shoulders, "Are you in trouble?"

I gently took her wrists in my hands and pulled away from her, "I'm fine, mom." I assured her, "And I actually changed my name to Rose."

She stepped back looking like her professional self again, only change was that wide grin on her face. I only saw my mom that happy when my dad was around, he brought out her Dauntless side. The 'I don't give a fuck what other people think' attitude.

"I'm sure your father will love to hear that." She actually giggled which made me wonder who this person was standing in front of me.

I had to press my lips together when I felt Eric's presence behind me. I had been so caught up in my thoughts I had not realized he moved toward us and stood right behind me. His chest softly pressing against my back as he held the door open for my mom.

"Rose was about to leave, Anna." He told her, cutting our conversation short, "I assure you that she is staying out of trouble."

I remembered his warning on the bridge, knowing I promised him I wouldn't break any more rules. So he wasn't lying to my mother. It just felt odd knowing Eric and my mom were acquaintances. The way he said her name though was as if they were…friends. I shuddered at the thought and quickly stepped out of his office.

"Bye Rose!" My mom called after me as I walked away.

I headed to the pit needing the distraction right now. I spotted Xenia instantly seeing her hang out with her brother and his friends. It was odd that I was going to hang out with Four and Lauren after training hours, but right now I couldn't think about that. I needed people around me who actually cared and it seemed that May wasn't one of them.

"There you are." Xenia handed me a black bottle, "Four was about to send out an army to find you." She slurred so I figured she had one black bottle too many, "I told him he was exaggerating, but he wouldn't listen."

Four met my gaze, shaking his head, "I did no such thing-" He gestured to Michael, "We figured you were still at Eric's."

I sipped from the bottle, needing the drink right now, "I ran into my mom at Eric's office so that got really awkward."

Xenia's eyes widened, falling backwards but her brother caught her before any damage was done, "Ew! Eric is doing your mom?!"

The black bottle slipped from my fingers, shattering into a million pieces. Xenia's outburst was really loud but as I glanced around me I noticed that no one paid us any attention. Then I realized the music in the pit was still blasting, so obviously no one around us heard her. Just the five us. And she sure entertained Four, Lauren and Michael because they couldn't stop laughing.

"No!" I whispered, "I didn't catch them doing it, I caught them being friendly with each other. Like Eric and my mom are actually friends." I couldn't make the look of disgust disappear from my face and I had no beer left because I let my bottle slip through my fingers. So I stole Xenia's bottle since she had plenty already.

"Eric has no friends, Rose, so don't worry about it. They're just being professional since they work together." Michael tried to catch his breath after his outburst of laughter.

I beg to differ, but I knew that if I told them how I felt about that they would find my reaction suspicious so I let it slide. Eric was not my friend or acquaintance or whatever so I didn't actually have to defend him, even if I really wanted to.

Four turned to Michael, "Or they're actually friends since they are both Erudite transfers."

"So what? Coming from the same faction doesn't automatically make you friends."

Lauren shrugged a shoulder, "I don't know about that. I see the transfers from the same faction cling together at Four's class."

Glancing at Xenia I could tell she was done for the night, "Michael help me drag your sister back to the dorm. We have training in the morning so we should cut her off."

Michael agreed and helped me put Xenia to bed, leaving the dorm after he was sure his sister was safe. After taking a shower I also crawled into bed, knowing tomorrow we'd start with the serious part of initiation. The fights.

* * *

 **Next morning**

"How did you pay for these?" May asked, the suspicion very clear in her voice.

I stopped going through my new clothes and looked up meeting her gaze.

"Eric offered to pay for my wardrobe since I don't have enough points to buy new stuff, in exchange I clean the training room up for the rest of the week."

"He did?" The sudden hitch in her breathing didn't go unnoticed by me, "So he is no longer pissed at you for breaking the rules. Multiple times."

I shoved my weekend bag under my bed when I had my clothes sorted out and looked back at May, shrugging a shoulder in response.

"He punished me for breaking the rules, May."

Xenia dropped onto my bed, breaking the awkward silence between me and May by groaning loudly and burying her face in her hands.

"I drank too much last night!"

May rolled her eyes and walked away, apparently the interrogation was over. Now I really knew I had to watch my back for someone who I used to call my best friend. It was painful, but Xenia didn't give me time to dwell on that.

"Why didn't you stop me?" She peeked through her fingers, looking amused, "I thought friends were supposed to keep each other from making mistakes like that."

If that was true May would have stopped me from going into Logan's bedroom after drinking some lethal drink he offered me. I realized then that May was probably never the type of friend you could trust. That definitely hurt even more.

"You were already wasted when I reached the pit. When I noticed how far gone you were I practically ordered your brother to help me put you to bed."

She dropped her hands and grinned at me, "You bossed Michael around? Wish I could remember that."

I smirked, "Come on, let's have breakfast before training starts."

We ate something light at breakfast, and headed straight for the training room. It seemed that Eric would be joining us this morning while Lauren demonstrated some fighting techniques. I knew everyone in that room was skilled at this, which made the nerves rage through my body.

"Okay, now it's your turn." Lauren shrugged her jacket off and gestured to the punching bags, "Ask questions if you are not sure about your technique because the fights start at the end of the week, guys."

Heading to the punching bangs I noticed that Xenia took the one at my left and Damon the one at my right. I knew Logan's friends were smart enough not to try anything during training, especially since Eric was present, but it was still nice to have people beside me who were there for me.  
I didn't know Damon well enough to call him my friend, but I knew he was just as pissed about what happened in the dorm the other day as I was.

"You're good at it."

I glanced at Xenia, "My dad and I always come here to practice our skills." I told her.

"Tighten your core and put more force into it."

I didn't have to turn around to know who stood right behind me. Somehow my body got used to him, and it would always tell me when he was nearby.

"Yes, sir."

He walked past us and observed the other initiates. Last time he gave me tips he touched me and I kind of missed that.

"He is in a good mood today." Xenia whispered.

He seemed the same to me, but I guess I knew Eric differently than most of them so they wouldn't know how he normally behaved. He was distant and cold to people when he was stressed. He reacted harshly when people challenged him and broke the rules which he followed by heart. I think I was slowly agreeing with my mom, he wasn't such a bad guy if you got to know him.

"I guess he is." I whispered back.

Training went by which felt like a split second, but I knew it was actually hours since we were dismissed to have dinner. I stayed behind to clean up, holding up my part of the deal. Lauren had to leave because of a meeting, so I was alone together with Four. He didn't talk much, or at all. I didn't mind the silence that much, but I was itching to ask Four a bunch of questions. I knew this was the perfect opportunity since we were alone. I had a feeling though, that he could simply ignore me and pretend I didn't ask him anything. So I was torn between asking and keeping my mouth shut.

"Do they leave you alone now that Eric has the dorm guarded better than our armor vault?"

"You're kidding." I whispered.

His lips curled up which told me he was, "Do they leave you alone?"

I dumped the last mat onto its pile and sat down on it, watching Four who hovered close by with his arms folded across his chest.

"They leave me alone." I confirmed, "That doesn't mean I'm stupid enough to lower my guard. I'm guessing that this is like the calm before the storm."

Four shrugged, "Or maybe they are actually backing off now."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Do you believe that?"

"No."

He held out a hand to me to help me off the mat, I held my breath when I was standing so close to Four I could actually see the different specks of color in his eyes. Maybe girls threw themselves at his feet, but he never noticed. Or maybe he did notice, but just wasn't interested. I could totally understand why they liked him so much though, Four was definitely an attractive man. He was also the man Eric disliked for various reasons. Reasons I had no knowledge of though.

"Getting cozy with an initiate is very inappropriate Four."

We both snapped our heads to the door, seeing Eric stalk toward us with a determined look in his eyes. The words he spoke could be thrown back in his face, and when he looked at me I knew he was aware of that. It was like he was challenging me to say anything. I was sure if I opened my mouth I wouldn't like what would happen next.

Four released my hand as if he just touched fire, "You're imagining things."

Eric's lips curled up to a smirk, "I'm kidding." It didn't sound like he was kidding though, "Everyone knows you avoid getting cozy with a girl like the plague." I rolled my eyes, wanting to step away from the guys before they would start a brawl.

"He was just being a gentleman, Eric." I shot back, hating that I couldn't keep my mouth shut like I told myself in my head over and over again, "Something you know nothing about." I whispered the last part to myself and headed to the door, hoping they didn't hear me so I could escape.

I gasped when I felt Eric's hand grasp my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks, "You can leave Four, you're staying big mouthed, initiate."

I watched Four leave the room, pressing my lips together when Four threw me an apologizing look. It wasn't his fault though, he was just being nice. Whatever was going to happen next was my own damn fault, because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Or say things in my head instead of saying them out loud.

"Get in the ring."

He was going to kick my ass for one snarky remark? Gulping I spun around, blinking when I saw Eric take off his vest and tossing it aside.

"Any time now, initiate."

I knew better than to question him so I stepped inside the ring and tried to even out my breathing when he also stepped into the ring and watched me like a hawk.

"You have a good technique, but you're holding back." He stepped closer to me and gestured for me to come at him, "I want you to come at me with everything you've got."

It amazed me that he noticed that. Fighting scared me, I knew it was part of being Dauntless, but it was the part that I could do without. I rather face my fears a hundred times, knowing I might risk someone finding out that I'm not normal than to stand in the ring and fight Eric.

"You want me to fight you?"

"I spoke loud and clear, initiate. Don't make me wait."

I didn't want to come at him with everything he got. His impatient look told me that if I didn't make the first move he would. Then I would definitely be screwed. So I stepped closer to him, taking a fighting position. Encouraging myself that Eric would probably not hurt me.

"I'm aging ten years here." He called, taunting me some more.

Inhaling deeply I charged at him, trying to hit him in the stomach. I figured I could make him lose his breath and kick his feet from under him I had the upper hand. What I didn't expect was Eric easily grabbing onto my wrist and pushing me back.

"You're slow, I saw that coming before you even thought of it."

I rolled my eyes, "You didn't."

He raised his eyebrow at me, "Then how did I stop you?"

Good point, maybe he did see it coming. He was an Erudite transfer and a Dauntless leader now, I assumed he had to watch people closely and be ten steps ahead of them. It felt like he was twenty steps ahead of me though.

"Try again." He said when I hesitated.

Taking a fighting stance again I watched him closely, being annoyed how at ease he looked. Faking a step to the right I stepped left and aimed for his side this time. He didn't grab my wrist, but he did dodge my punch and grabbed onto my wrist, spinning me around so my back was toward him.

"Better." He didn't release me, he tightened his grip on me instead, "But still not good enough." He pulled me closer to him, wrapping my arm around my waist and holding it in place while I felt his hot breath tickle against my ear, "They're going to rip you apart if you keep holding back, Rose." He whispered to me.

"I'm not holding back." I whispered back.

"Yes you are."

I tried to break free, but he had an iron hold on me, "I'm not!"

I fell to my knees when Eric pulled away and actually kicked my butt. I felt him hovering over me, his annoyance almost palpable.

"You're still going to tell me you're not holding back?" I could hear the mocking tone in his voice, "I just literally kicked your butt."

People wouldn't believe me if I told them that Eric actually had a sense of humor. Pushing myself to my feet I spun around and wiped the imaginary dust off my butt, glaring at him for daring to put his boot against my butt and kick me to my knees.

"I hate you."

No, I didn't. I was just humiliated and I needed to get the stress off my chest.

"I don't care." He shrugged, "I never asked of you to like me in the first place."

Balding my fists at my side I rushed to him, trying to hit him in the jaw. He dodged, obviously so I moved to the right and aimed for his stomach. He grabbed onto my wrist, just like I thought he would. I swiftly kicked him against the knee and actually made him stumble back. That was my chance to break free, I pulled away and hit him against the side. Eric hit me against my rib which I didn't see coming, it wasn't that hard though so I knew he was holding back. He did a low kick, sweeping me off my feet and hovered over me like before. He opened his mouth to say something, but I kicked his feet from under him and giggled when he also fell back, nearly falling on top of me but I rolled away before he could crush me with his gigantic body.

I straddled him before he got up and pressed my palms against his firm chest, "Caught you." I sang.

The mirth in his eyes made my core tighten, "You only caught me, because I allowed you to."

I smirked, pressing my hands a little hard down his chest, "So it was your plan all along to have me on top of you?"

My body shivered when he suddenly grabbed onto my hips and squeezed them, "You and I both know how much you like it on top of me."

I covered his mouth with my hand and leaned in, brushing my lips against his ear, "I'm sure one of us likes it more than the other. I can feel it." I whispered to him, and quickly pulled away from him before he could stop me.

Dashing out of the room I nearly ran into Lauren who looked at me with concern, "You alright, Rose?"

I turned around to face her, "I'm good." I assured her, "I'm great actually."

"Four dismissed you?"

I wrapped my arms around myself, "Eric dismissed the both of us."

She nodded, "Okay, see you tomorrow, Rose."

Walking to the dining hall I tried to get rid of the grin that was spread across my face. I couldn't though, not when I was so proud of myself for getting back at Eric like that.  
After filling my tray with food in the cafeteria, I joined Xenia, Four and her brother at their table. They all looked at me when they noticed the grin on my face.

"Why are you smiling like a serial killer?" Michael asked, sipping from his juice.

"I'd like to know how you're still smiling like that after you made fun of Eric." Four stuffed his mouth full, not looking up once, but I heard the curiosity in his voice.

"I'm smiling because I made fun of Eric and got away with it."

Four didn't know that I wasn't talking about the first snarky comment I made toward our beloved Dauntless leader. When he looked up something in his eyes told me he did know what I was talking about. Gulping I tried to shake the feeling off, he couldn't know. He was dismissed by Eric, the only ones in that room where Eric and I.

"No one gets away with that." Michael warned me, "Trust me he is going to repay you for whatever you did to him." He narrowed his eyes on me, "And you're not going to like it."

I wanted to tell Michael that he was wrong, since I got away with it before, but something told me not to get so cocky about that. I would probably jinx it. So I kept my mouth shut and continued eating dinner with the people who actually became my friends. May was nowhere in sight these days, but with Xenia, Four and Michael around I didn't miss her.


	5. I Kissed a Boy

**Chapter five – I Kissed a Boy**

* * *

Kicking Laura in the knee I made her fall back, just the way I did to Eric. That sparring moment taught me a lot because I didn't give her time to react. I punched her right in the jaw, making her fall back with a loud groan.

"Enough." Lauren called loud and clear, "You okay, Laura?"

Laura got up wiping the sweat off her forehead, her glare aimed at me as she answered to Lauren, "I'm fine, Lauren."

"She is still standing so of course she is fine." Eric barged into our section of the training room as if he owned the place, "That was pathetic, initiate, you couldn't land one hit."

Eric's anger was palpable and everyone unconsciously stepped back as he spoke to Laura. His anger made the girl stop glaring at me though, so I didn't quite mind him being in his pissy mood.

"I didn't get the chance to react." I was sure that reaction would do Laura a lot of harm.

"You think in combat people will give you the time to react? Did Rose knock your brains out or something?" He didn't raise his voice, but every word that left his mouth still made us tremble in our boots, "Get your act together, initiate." He pointed to me, "Get out the ring, Rose. You're ready." He raised an eyebrow when Laura wanted to step out as well, "Did I tell you to leave the ring? Stay put, initiate." He turned to the group and pointed to Damon, "Get in the ring."

Eric made Damon and Laura fight, not ending the fight till Damon knocked her out. I wanted to feel sorry for her, but I didn't. Not when she was one of the people who wanted to ruin my life at Dauntless.

"Get her out of the ring." Eric told the group, "Now."

May and Braden helped Laura the minute Eric ordered the group to. I knew for sure then that May was definitely not on my side anymore. I glanced aside when I felt a hand resting upon my shoulder.

"You kicked some ass, Rose." Damon whispered to me, "Never thought you had it in you."

Frowning I turned to look at him, "What is that supposed to mean? I'm Dauntless born, Damon. I'm supposed to kick ass."

His look didn't falter when I challenged him, if anything it only made the fire in his eyes burn brighter.

"I know you can fight, but you were not putting your best effort into it. I saw it when you were practicing with the punching bags. Something is holding you back, at least I thought it was-" He turned to look at the ring where another duo was practicing the techniques Lauren and Eric taught us, "Then you totally kicked Laura's ass."

"She had it coming."

Damon's lips curled up to a smirk, "She is one of the people who trashed your things, isn't she?"

"I assume she is." I shrugged, "Without hard evidence no one is guilty."

"The laws at Dauntless." Damon sighed.

The tone of his voice told me he had more experience with that, but I was afraid to ask. I didn't know Damon well enough to ask about his past. Especially something so sensitive so I focused on the fight instead.  
Letting my eyes wander to Eric my breathing hitched in my throat. He had been staring at me the whole time, just staring. And I read his expression correctly he seemed amused by me. I had no idea why. Last time we interacted I teased him, left without a word and didn't give him time to react to me. He was planning something, my gut told me that and it also told me to run.

"Good job, Xenia." Lauren called, making me tear my gaze away from Eric to see that Xenia had overpowered her opponent, "That's it for today, guys. The fights start tomorrow, so don't party too much and get some rest."

Xenia hopped off the ring and grabbed onto my hands, "I'll help you clean up and we'll have dinner together, okay?"

I had a feeling she was planning something and when I looked her into the eyes I knew for sure. She couldn't hide the excitement. It worried me.

"Okay."

We cleaned the training room in no time, probably getting experts in it since we have doing it for days now. I think I would actually miss it when my task was over. It gave me something to do after training, when it was over I would have a lot more free time and I had no idea what I would do with that.

"Hurry, we need to eat and get ready for the party."

"What party?" I asked Xenia, fear creeping up in me.

Last party I went I got wasted and lost my virginity. So maybe it wasn't such a good idea to party right before the fights would start.

"My brother and his friends are having a small party at his apartment and I managed to get an invite."

I couldn't hide my smirk, "You manipulated Michael, didn't you?"

Xenia glanced over her shoulder, flashing me a big grin, "You know it."

We entered the dining hall and went straight for the cafeteria to get something to eat. Filling my plate with mashed potatoes and broccoli I had to stand in line to get a piece of hamburger. Dauntless, especially the men always ate a lot of meat, making the line look endless.

"Shouldn't you be thanking me?"

I bit my lip, knowing exactly who stood behind me asking for my gratitude.

"And why should I thank you?" I knew exactly why, but I loved messing with him.

"We both know why." His voice lowered, making me remember all those other conversation we had, "You won that fight because of me."

He was right, I did win that fight because he helped me train. Damon had noticed the change too, but I didn't want to admit that to Eric. I had a feeling that he'd use it against me if I admitted to him that he helped me a lot.

"I think I won because I pictured beating the crap out of her so many times in my head." Finally there was some movement in this line, "I had to hold myself back to make sure I wouldn't bash her skull in-" I stopped myself when I realized what I just told Eric.

I just told a Dauntless leader about my murderous thoughts, that could not end well. If something happened to Laura I would probably be their prime suspect. If only I had a brain to mouth filter.

"Don't hold back that anger."

I nearly dropped my tray hearing him speak those simple words. Wasn't he supposed to warn me or tell me to watch it?  
Placing a piece of hamburger onto my plate I handed the pair of tongs to Eric, and walked away knowing our conversation more or less ended with that statement. I headed to the table where Michael and Four were hanging out, joining them to eat my dinner.

"So, you think you can handle a grown-up party?" Michael asked, making me look up from eating my dinner.

"What does a grown-up party entail?" I ask, looking from Michael to Four, knowing Four won't exaggerate or lie.

"A lot of drinking and drinking games." Four shrugs.

"So how is that any different from the parties I have joined so far?" I ask, making Michael snort at me.

"Trust me this is different."

Again I look at Four, "It's really not." He assures me, "It's just a bunch of people getting wasted and challenging each other to do stupid things which they regret the following morning. The fights start tomorrow so keep that in mind when you go to this party."

He gave me the same advice Lauren gave us before she dismissed us. I would definitely keep that in mind, knowing Logan's followers probably wanted to beat the crap out of me tomorrow. I had to stay focused otherwise I'd get a new face.

"There you are." Xenia sits down next to me, "The line was freaking long, I had to wait half an hour before I could get one piece of meat."

After dinner we went to the dorm to get changed for the party, I didn't want to wear anything fancy knowing it was just a small get together with friends who wanted to have a good time. So after taking a quick shower I slipped on a black t-shirt with a v-neck which showed up a bit of cleavage and tight black pants and my combat boots. Sitting on my bed I grabbed a small mirror from my make-up back and did my eyeliner and mascara quickly so Xenia would stop whining.

"Done." I told her, putting my supplies in my weekend bag under my bed, "You can stop complaining now. Why are you in such a rush anyway?" Then it hit me, she was probably meeting someone there, "Who is the boy who you want to meet?" I ask, making her nearly drop off her bed.

She grabbed my hand dragging me out of the dorm. Her dragging me out of the dorm in such a rush didn't make me forget about my question though, and her not answering it only raised my suspicion. There was definitely a boy who Xenia wanted to meet. Her not talking about it made me wonder who this boy was.

"Is he an older guy, is that why you're trying to ignore my question?" I asked, pulling my hand away to slow down a bit, "The party isn't going anywhere, Xenia. You can slow down."

We made it to the apartment which the party was held and before I could even turn to look at Xenia she was already gone. Now I definitely wanted to catch a glimpse of this guy. I searched the crowd for her, and noticed her walking away holding onto a guy's hand, I only saw his back though. And just like they were gone. I had a feeling Xenia didn't want people to know who this guy was.

"There you are." I looked up, meeting Michael's eyes, "Where is Xenia?"

I had a feeling I wasn't supposed to tell Michael what I saw, so I shrugged my shoulders instead. Pretending I had no idea where she was.

"She was just here a minute ago."

He sighed, "She always does this."

"Does what?" I narrow my eyes on him, having a feeling that he knew about the mystery guy.

"She thinks I don't know, but she forgets that I work in the control room and we have eyes on everything."

My eyes widened with realization when he said that, "Everything?" I repeated, making him smirk.

"Yes, everything." He confirmed tightly, "So I know who Xenia is seeing behind my back and I also know what happened in the training room between you and Eric."

If I had a drink in hand right now I would have dropped it again. People were not supposed to know things were happening between me and Eric, because I knew he'd hate it.

"Nothing happened between me and Eric." I told him and folded my arms across my chest, noticing how his eyes moved to my chest, "Up here, Xenia's brother." I told him and smirked when I noticed how uncomfortable he got, "So who is the guy Xenia is seeing behind your back?"

"Didn't look like nothing to me." He didn't go into details about what he saw which I was glad for, "He is a friend of mine we're from the same initiation class and work together in the control room." He placed an arm around my shoulders and guided me to a group of people who seem to have a really good time, "Everyone this is Rose, Rose this is everyone."

I recognized Four and Lauren who were also part of this group and joined them. The group was playing the traditional Candor or Dauntless drinking game. I didn't want to join them but after having three shots someone somehow managed to make me participate.

"Okay, Rose, Candor or Dauntless."

It was Michael asking, he knew things about me which I didn't want everyone else to know so Candor was not an option, though that was probably a safe choice.

"Dauntless." I say, hating the smirk that spread across his face.

"I dare you to make out with the person on your left."

Glancing at my left my eyes widened in shock. He had to be joking, because he knew we were friends. Four looked just as shocked as me and I feared that even if I tried kissing him he'd push me away. Then there was that awkwardness of being initiate and instructor. Sure, he wasn't my instructor, but that didn't make it less awkward. Though, was it really worse than having sex with your Dauntless leader who oversees training? I think the latter was worse.

Lauren grinned, "Just take the shot, it's much easier."

"No way, just kiss our boy. It's no big deal." I knew that was Zeke, he was the lively one out of the group.

Four held up his hands in defense, "Wait a minute, don't I have a say in this?"

Before anyone could respond I grabbed Four's face in my hands and crashed my lips against his. I knew taking the shot was much easier, and probably a better idea, but honestly after three shots I felt like kissing a boy and I had a feeling I needed to go easy on the shots so I wouldn't get beat up tomorrow morning because I was unfocused.  
Four stayed completely still as I kissed him, the moment I wanted to pull back I felt his lips move though. It might have been the shock of me kissing him that made him stay frozen to the spot. When I pulled away and looked into his eyes I could tell he was embarrassed about what just happened. I didn't know if it was because we kissed in front of all our friends or the fact that he just kissed me back.

I felt someone pat my shoulder and looked up to meet Zeke's gaze, "Didn't think you had the balls to do that." He grinned at me, "You're definitely invited to the next party."

"Rose, you're up next." Michael told me, grinning from ear to ear.

He could probably tell how messed up the both of us were because of that kiss. I didn't expect Four to kiss me back and I'm sure he didn't expect that either. It was definitely all the alcohol we had consumed. I hoped it ruin our friendship, I liked knowing Four and Michael were always there in the dining hall when we were grabbing lunch and dinner.

"Okay, Zeke Candor or Dauntless?"

He looked at me as if I lost my mind, "Dauntless."

Of course he chose Dauntless. I'm pretty sure everyone in the group chose Dauntless so far.

"I dare you to walk up to a Dauntless leader in the pit and tell them you're a pansy cake."

I smirked when I saw him choke in his beer. I raised an eyebrow at him when he just stared at me, probably wondering if he heard me right.

"You're too afraid to do it?" I asked, taking the bottle of scotch from Michael, "You can always take a shot, you know."

This time it was Four's turn to mess with Zeke, "If you take the shot, can I call you a pansy cake?"

Zeke glared at his friend and stood up, a determined look in his eyes. He was going to do it, in the back of my mind I hoped the only Dauntless leader in the pit was Eric. That would be hilarious. Eric was the youngest leader so I assumed he'd be hanging out at night, acting his age.

"You're going to do it?" Lauren asked surprised, "I gotta see this."

We all wanted to see this, so the group followed after Zeke as he walked with determined strides to the pit. We kept our distance as Zeke looked around for one of the leaders. I frowned seeing Wes, a leader in his early thirties hanging out together with Eric. Zeke would walk up to Wes since he was a lot more approachable than Eric. It was Zeke's lucky night.  
Wes turned to look at Zeke as Zeke probably called his name. He raised an eyebrow at Zeke told him something and then walked off. Smirking at us as he held up his thumb, telling us he did his dare. Glancing at Wes I saw him shaking his head, amusement sparkling in his eyes. I guessed people always did tons of weird things when they were drunk, the Dauntless leaders were probably accustomed to it now.

"Sorry kid, next time better." Zeke told me, grinning widely.

The group headed back to the apartment, as I looked over at Wes and Eric again, I gulped realizing Eric was watching me. He moved the black bottle to his lips and sipped from it, something dark flashed through his eyes and for a second I imagined it when he nodded to the exit. I kept staring at him and realized he was heading to the direction he told me to go. Looking around I sighed in relief when the group was no longer there. They were probably too drunk to care if someone bailed. I followed after Eric into the darkened hallway. A gasp left my lips when my back suddenly hit the cold concrete wall.

"I thought I told you to stay out of trouble."

Tilting my head back I looked right into his stormy eyes, "I haven't done anything." I whispered to him, seeing he was so close to me I knew he heard me.

He ran his fingers through my locks and grabbed onto the end of my hair, "So you weren't playing a stupid drinking game?"

"I played Candor and Dauntless and it's not stupid, it's awesome."

Those stormy eyes darkened, "What was your dare?" He tightened the grip on my hair.

I pressed my hand against his chest, "What makes you think I chose Dauntless?"

His lips brushed against my neck, "Because I know you." He breathed.

Running my fingers up to his neck I pressed against his pulse, feeling how fast his heart was beating. It always looked to me Eric stayed calm and collected whenever we were teasing each other, now I knew I was wrong. He was just better at hiding it.

"I kissed a boy." I admitted quietly to him.

"Then you definitely got into trouble."

My eyes wandered to his lips, wanting to kiss those pink, soft lips. Eric being jealous of me kissing another boy definitely did weird things to my body. It made me want him more. I needed to know if I wasn't imagining those though, so I wanted to push him just a little bit more.

"Why is that?" I asked, looking into those stormy eyes again, "We were only an onetime thing, right? So technically I didn't do anything wrong."

My heart was beating in my ears when he brushed his lips against mine, but never kissing me. Just teasing me, which drove me crazy. The feeling he gave me whenever he was close, or whenever I thought he'd kiss me was nothing compared to kissing Four. He wasn't a bad kisser, he just wasn't the guy who made me see fireworks when he kissed me.

"We were."

With that Eric pushed away from me, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Why don't you head back to the dorm? You'll regret staying out too late and drinking so much in the morning."

And just like that he could switch from hot to cold in a nanosecond. I didn't understand how he did that, but I could definitely use an ability like that.

"Fine."

I pushed myself away from the wall, trying to even my breathing as I walked around him. My heart beat accelerating when Eric grabbed onto my wrist, keeping me in place.

"Who did you kiss?"

I couldn't tell him, even though he just confirmed to me that we weren't a thing, I knew it would piss him off knowing it was Four.

"Can't remember." I lied, "I had too many shots."

He tightened his grip on me, "You're a bad liar."

I tried to pull out of his grip, but failed miserably, "It doesn't matter who I kissed. It was just a dare."

"Are you embarrassed about who you kissed?" He sounded amused, if he knew who it was he'd stop teasing me, "Was it a girl?"

I snorted, spinning around so fast I broke free from his grip. I needed to remember that little trick, it would probably come in handy during the fights.

"Does it turn you on knowing I made out with a girl?"

The smirk that spread across his face said enough. Stepping closer to him I grabbed onto the front of his jacket and pulled him closer to me, surprised that he let me.

"It does, doesn't it?" I ask, trailing my hands up his chest to hold onto his shoulders, standing on my toes I brush my lips against his, "Take me home, Eric."

He didn't need to be told twice, grabbing onto my wrist he headed straight for the hallway leading to the leader's section. Flashbacks of my first night with Eric coming back. Dressed in a boy's shirt as we headed straight for his apartment. I remember how he pressed me up against the closed door, trailed his hands up my legs, gripping my thighs as he bruised my lips with his. My breathing quickened as Eric tightened his grip on my wrist and stopped in front of his apartment, glancing over his shoulder to meet my gaze. The dark look in his eyes telling me he remembered the same thing.  
Pushing the door open he let me walk in first, stepping inside his apartment the memories of our first nights blend in with this. The memory of riding Eric on that one-seat in the corner makes me press my thighs together to make the ache fade. It doesn't help though. Spinning around I face Eric who is leaning back against the closed door, observing me every move.  
Grabbing onto the hem of my shirt I pull it over my head and toss it aside. Eric's eyes wander to my pants clearly telling me to lose those too. Being over I undo my boots and kick them off, the sound of my zipper being pulled down echoing through the room. I slowly move my pants down my legs and kick it off, my eyes never leaving Eric's. He looks pleased as I stand only in my underwear in front of him. Pushing himself away from the door he heads toward me, the sound of his steps echoing through my mind, making my heart beat fast with very step he takes. I inhale sharply as he wraps an arm around my waist, pulls me closer to him and presses his lips against mine. He walks back, leading me to the couch. As my knees hit the armrest of his navy couch he pushes me down and stands above me, his eyes taking me in.  
A blue file on his coffee table catches my attention. I remember breaking my mom's trust by looking through that file the day before I had to leave my home to start initiation. I knew it was the same file because of the exact same coffee stain in the right corner. A moan leaves my lips as I feel Eric grab onto my leg and settles between my thighs, wrapping my leg around his waist. I close my eyes as I feel his erection press against my core, he grabs my face in his hands and kisses me. I grab onto the front of his t-shirt, fisting it tightly in my hand as I try to keep up with his demanding kiss. Trailing my hand down the hem of his shirt I try to pull it up, wanting to feel his naked chest pressed against mine. Eric pulls away from me and pulls his t-shirt over his head, tossing it carelessly aside. In the corner of my eyes I noticed the shirt pushed the file off the coffee table, the papers were probably scattered, but Eric didn't give me time to think about that as the sound of his zipper catches my attention. I bite my lip as I watch him take a condom out of his back pocket, he places the foil packet between his teeth and rips it open, taking his erection out of his boxers to roll the condom over it. I spread my legs willingly for him as he crawls back on top of me and pulls my panties down my legs, and presses his erection against my core.

"No foreplay?" He sounds amused, but he knows pretty damn well all the teasing he did helped enough.

The hiss leaving his lips makes me smirk as I grab onto his erection and guide him inside of me, him filling me up completely makes me moan in delight. This is how I remember it last time. He leans down, wrapping his arms tightly around me as he moves his hips. Grabbing onto his forearms I dig my nails in when he picks up the speed, hitting the right spot deep inside me.

"God, Eric!"

My nails trail down his arms, causing him to groan. He presses his lips against mine, giving me a harsh, punishing kisses. Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I throw my head back when I feel the delicious feeling in my core tighten. I was almost there. Opening my eyes I look straight into those stormy eyes which haunted my dreams. Cupping his face I keep my eyes locked with his. His names leaves my lips as he moves harder into me, making that feeling deep inside me explode. It was too intimate, keeping eye contact with Eric as I tighten around him, making him have his own toe curling orgasm.

"Fuck." He groans, grabbing onto my hips and rides out his orgasm.

As Eric pulls out of me I fear he'll ask me to get out, but he doesn't. He rolls the condom off, putting a knot in it and pulls his pants back up. He gets off the couch and moves his back to me, heading for the hallway which heads to his bedroom.

He looks over his shoulder, meeting my gaze, "You coming or what?"

I sit up, smiling at him, "I just did."

He smirks and looks away, heading for his bedroom, "I'll let you come again."

Following after Eric, I giggled when he pulled me into his bedroom and pushed me against his bed. It wasn't like last time. This time was different, I guess it was because he knew my body, but he also acted different. I couldn't place his behavior though, and I wouldn't ask him either. I wanted this moment to last as long as possible.


	6. Day and Night

**Hi guys, I know it's been a while since I've last updated my stories. I just couldn't find the time to write. Thanks for all the reviews you left, I really appreciate it!**

 **Chapter six – Day and Night**

* * *

"You need to be more careful with who you bring at home-"

Rolling to my side I blink a few times trying to adjust my eyes to the lighting. The voices in the living room woke me up. I take a peek at the digital clock on Eric's bedside table and inwardly groan seeing it is not even six in the morning yet.

"Don't worry about her, she won't be a problem."

That is definitely Eric's voice. Now I was curious who he was talking to since I was the subject they discussed. Not me in particular but women Eric brought home. I slipped out of bed, finding my bra and panties laying on the floor near my feet. I slip them on while I try to listen to his conversation.

"The file was scattered across your living room, Eric. I thought you'd be more careful when it came to things like this."

"Let me worry about this." I heard him move around, probably collecting the papers which fell out of the file, "Is there anything else you need beside interrupting my morning, Anna? I don't particularly like being woken up for nothing."

He was talking to my mom! My mom was in his freaking living room where the rest of my clothing was scattered. It was a relief that I bought a whole new wardrobe otherwise we had a problem.

"You were the one who ordered me to tell you immediately if the test results came in-"

"But the results were not worth mentioning were they?" Eric was pissed, definitely not pleased with my mother's visit this early in the morning, "Only report back to me when you actually have information that is worth something."

"Fine." If it was anyone else my mom would have exploded.

I heard some movement again, so I figured my mom was about to leave the apartment.

"Anna, did the infirmary receive the memo?"

"All the doctors and nurses are on stand-by. We're prepared."

With that she left the apartment. I knew it made me a coward, but I wasn't ready to face Eric yet. Not when I just eavesdropped on his conversation with my mother. He probably thought I was still asleep in his bed so I tiptoed into the bathroom and locked the door. That way he'd assume I didn't hear his conversation because I was busy taking a shower, which sounded like heaven to me. My body was sticky because of last night's activity. Maybe it would piss him off, but I couldn't care less. Searching through his cupboard I found a new toothbrush and brushed my teeth while checking the water temperature in the shower. After rinsing my mouth I slipped out of my underwear and took a quick shower.  
Last time I came over to his apartment I left right after we had sex, this time was different though. Everything about what we did last night felt different to me. Eric touched me more, he kissed me more and it was as if he was actually seeing me this time. Instead of just some girl he brought home because he wanted to get laid.  
I didn't want to put my bra and panties from last night on considering they had been tossed around a lot so I wrapped my fluffy towel tighter around my body and pushed the door open to head into Eric's bedroom.

"Thought you fell asleep in there."

I wouldn't apologize for actually enjoying my morning routine today.

"It's been a while since I had a good shower." I admitted to him, "Toss me a pair of clean boxers." I told him as I headed to the living room to grab my clothes.

"You bossing me around?" I heard the amusement in his voice.

"I don't want to wear last night's underwear after a great shower." I headed back into the bedroom after collecting my clothes and shoes.

Eric handed me one of his boxers, his brows raising questionably as I drop the towel right in front of him and slip into his underwear. I know it's mean of me to tease him like this, but I loved getting a reaction out of him other people never saw.

"You think I can sneak back into the dorm without anyone noticing?"

I quickly slipped into last night clothing, knowing I had to sneak back into the dorm for my training gear. Sitting onto the edge of his bed I put on my combat boots and laced them, glancing up at Eric who watched me like a hawk.

"I doubt anyone is awake at this hour." He collected the towel and headed to the bathroom, probably putting it away in the hamper, "Just be careful when you head back to the dorm."

When he returned I had made the bed and was ready to leave, yet walking out that door seemed a lot harder than last time. It would probably mess everything up, but I wanted to kiss him before I walked out of that door. If this was really the last time we slept together, I wanted it to be memorable. So I stepped to him, ignoring his surprised look and grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt, pulling him closer to me as I stood on my toes to kiss his lips. He kept his hands to himself, but he did kiss me back. Feeling him move his lips gently against mine was making the butterflies in my stomach go nuts. I pulled away from him, to taste of him still on my lips. He tasted like coffee and peppermint mixed together and I loved it. I couldn't linger around though, I had to leave now so no one would ask questions when I sneaked into the dorm.

"Bye." I said, turning on my heels to leave the room.

I heard him follow after me, but I didn't turn to look at him. If I did I wouldn't want to leave.

"Remember not to hold back during the fights today." He reminded me.

I opened the door and glanced over my shoulder, "I'll give it my all." I promised him and walked out the door, proud of myself that I actually managed to do it.

I managed to sneak into the dorm without anyone noticing. It was half past six now, so I figured people would start waking up soon. Grabbing a pair of tight sweats, a tank top, some socks and clean underwear I headed to the showers to quickly change. Once comfortable in my clean clothing I headed back to my bed and tossed my dirty clothes on top of it, searching underneath my bed for my bag with dirty clothing which I needed to drop off at the laundry department.

"Someone has been a bad girl last night."

I looked up seeing Xenia sitting up in her bed while holding up Eric's boxers. Here I thought I could get away with what happened last night.

Grabbing the boxers from her I pushed it into the dirty clothing bag, "I know I wasn't the only bad girl last night." I met her curious gaze, "You do know Michael is onto you guys. He knows who you're seeing behind his back."

I guess she didn't know because the shocked look on her face was priceless. Thank god that subject distracted her from talking about Eric's boxers.

"He knows?" She asked confused.

"He works in the control room, remember?" I refrain from rolling my eyes when she still didn't understand it, "He sees everything, Xenia. You two were probably caught on camera and he saw it."

"Damn it." She whispered, letting herself fall back onto her bed, "He is okay with it?"

Once all the dirty clothes were shoved into the bag I shoved the bag underneath my bed again and sat down on my bed.

"He sounded okay with it." I tell her.

She sits upright, "I'm going to shower. We'll talk later about what happened at the party?" She smirks at me, "I feel like I missed all the fun stuff."

"I'm sure you had your own share of fun with your boy." I tease her.

She grabs her shower items and her clothes for training and heads to the showers, "You know it."

Smiling I grabbed my make-up bag and did my make-up for today, keeping it light since I knew I would probably break a sweat later on. The lighting was bad considering I used my small tablet, but I made it work. Pulling my hair up in a high ponytail I met Xenia's gaze as she headed back into the room, looking all refreshed.

"Breakfast?" She asked as she pulled her head up in a messy bun, "We have plenty of time to catch up there."

Sitting down in the dining hall we ate our breakfast while discussing what happened last night. I couldn't tell Xenia about my night with Eric, I couldn't tell anyone.

"Michael made you do that?" She asked surprised, "So how was it?" When I didn't answer she kicked me underneath the table making me hiss, "Seriously how was it? We don't see him with girls often so obviously people are curious!"

I froze as I watched Eric pass us together with Wes. His gaze told me he caught part of our conversation, but he gave nothing else away.

"It was fine." I said once I was certain Eric and Wes were out of hearing distance, "I mean he is a friend so obviously things are awkward between us now."

"It doesn't have to be." She shrugged.

"He didn't want to kiss me but I didn't want to take a shot so I kissed him anyways." I tipped down the rest of my orange juice, "But the moment I wanted to pull away he kissed me back."

"A lot of people let go when they're drunk." She wiggled her eyebrows at me, "Like you doing some random guy last night."

I sighed, "Could we let that go please?" I ask her, hoping she'd stop asking questions, "People already think I'm a whore, I don't want to give them another reason to trash my things."

Xenia snorted, "Whoever did that is just jealous." She made it sound so simple, "Don't pay attention to it. Eric secured the place pretty well so they won't get away with it a second time."

I glanced at the leader's table, watching Eric interact with Wes. I think they were friends, seeing that Wes was actually laughing at something Eric said. It was odd how he could pretend nothing happened last night or this morning for that matter. He could shrug it off just like that. I wish I could too.

"We have a few more minutes before training starts." Xenia got off her seat, collecting her tray, "Wanna warm up first?"

I collected my things, put away my tray and followed her. It was probably a good idea to warm up first before we started the fights that morning. I had a feeling Eric wouldn't be joining us since he gave me that piece of advice before I left his apartment.  
I did some stretching and worked on the punching bags. After a few minutes the other initiates started to walk in, looking pumped about today. I wasn't that excited though, this could go either way.

"Gather 'round." Lauren called, standing in the ring while she watched us step closer to her, "We're starting with the fights today. Few rules I'd like to go through with you before we start." She held up a finger, "We keep it clean, guys. No dirty tricks to win these fights." She held up a second finger, "According to the new rules, no one concedes. So you fight till one of you can't continue." She raised her voice a bit, "However that doesn't mean it's okay to bash someone's skull in. Am I clear?"

When everyone agreed she hopped off the ring, "First fight, Xenia and May." Lauren called, "Step into the ring, girls."

The girls stepped into the ring after they took off their boots. It was a quick fight, both girls wanting to win. When initiation was about to start I thought I'd always be on May's side, but that wasn't the case. Here I was rooting for Xenia, hoping she kicked May's ass. And she did.

"Winner, Xenia!" Lauren called, holding out a hand to help May on her feet, "You need to get some ice for that." She said dismissing May so she could go to the infirmary.

The fights continued and mine was the last of the day. I had to go up against Damon, that meant I wouldn't be winning this one. I kept up with Eric because he went easy on me, Damon however would not go easy on me. And it was apparently my lucky day today, because Eric decided to grace us with his presence.

"I won't go easy on you just because I like you." Damon took a fighting stance.

I took a fighting stance as well, not being able to hide my amusement.

"You like me?"

His lips curled up to a smirk, "You know what I mean."

I knew what he meant, but I could use this opportunity to make him lose focus.

"No, I don't."

"Stop trying to mess with me-"

Before he could finish that sentence I made the first move, hitting him right in the stomach. He fell over because of the loss of air and I took that opportunity to punch him in the jaw. I noticed how his fists clenched so I backed off, barely dodging his first punch.

"Stop messing around, initiates." Eric called, looking bored as hell, "We don't have all day."

Him calling out to us made me lose focus, which Damon saw because he took the opportunity to punch me in the side. I quickly spun to his left, missing another punch by a millisecond. Kicking his lower back I made him fall forward, almost out of the ring.

"Rose, stop playing around." Eric sounded pissed, "Finish it."

I wasn't playing around though, I was actually having a hard time trying to win this fight. It might look like I had the upper hand, but Damon's hits had a lot more power to them. I was sure my side was bruised right now while he probably didn't feel a thing.  
I could have kicked Damon in the stomach, making him completely lose his breath, but my body wouldn't move. Hesitating in combat is what could get you killed.  
Damon recovered quickly, jumping to his feet while with all his might he punched me right in the face. I would lie if I said that didn't hurt, because it fucking hurt and for a minute I think I saw actual stars flashing by.

"Winner, Damon!" Lauren called.

When I blinked a few times I saw Damon hover over me along with Xenia and Lauren.

"I'm sorry, Rose." I heard him say, but I was more focused on the blood which ran down my nose.

Lauren handed me a towel, "You need to pinch the bridge of your nose." She told me and looked at Damon, "Get her to the infirmary."

Before Damon could even react Eric grabbed onto my arm rather roughly and pulled me to my feet. I wouldn't lie, it fucking hurt when he pulled me up. The guy showed no compassion whatsoever. He held tightly onto my arm while I tried to keep the towel to my nose so I wouldn't get blood all over me or the floor for that matter.

"I'll take her." He pointed to Damon with his free hand, "You can clean up." He dragged me with him off the mat, heading straight for the exit.

If anyone thought Eric was a bit too friendly with me they were proven wrong now. I was certain his grip would leave bruises on my arm. He was pissed. I didn't do what he ordered me to do so he was reacting the only way he could. With force.

"I told you to finish it."

"I couldn't hit a man who was already down." My voice was muffled by the towel I held to my nose.

"You behave like that in the field and you'll get killed within a second."

Eric wouldn't understand even if I tried to explain it to him. I knew he was right about getting killed in the field if I hesitated, but even if I tried to tell myself that over and over again in the end all I would see in the training room was my friend who tried to crawl to his feet because I harshly knocked him down. Damon might not have hesitated because he could turn the switch off as easily as Eric, but I couldn't.

"I don't have to worry about going to the field just yet."

"If you keep that up you'll never go out in the field." He quickened his pace, making me stumble after him, "You won't make it."

Eric was very good in ramming the fear into people, because right now the pain of his grip and my bleeding nose was nothing compared to the frightened feeling that clenched my heart tightly.  
Eric pushed through the door of the infirmary with me stumbling after him, not once did he release my arm, at some point I thought he might have forgotten that he was holding onto me.  
It was odd, but the minute Eric stepped into the room everyone turned their head to look at him. It was as if they felt his presence. He ignored their looks and headed straight for the small desk where I saw my mom standing, filling out some papers. She looked at Eric her gaze meeting mine, concern flashing through her eyes.

"Rose." She stepped to me, making Eric finally release my arm, "There is a bed free-" She pointed to a bed in the corner, "Go sit down, I'll be there in a sec."

I thought Eric would leave the minute I was in the doctor's care, but he followed after me to the empty bed which my mother appointed to me. Hopping onto it I finally dared to pull the bloody towel away from my face.

"On a scale from one to ten, how awful is it?" I asked, meeting Eric's gaze.

He folded his arms across his chest, his eyes scanning over my face, "It's horrible."

I thought he was being serious until I saw the corner of his lips curl up. He was messing with me. Sometimes it was hard to remember that Eric actually had a sense of humor. He buried it away pretty deep, and it rarely peeked through.  
My mom joined us after a few minutes and started to twist and turn my face. Once she was pleased she pulled away and collected items to clean my face.

"It's not broken." She told me as she gently cleaned the dried up blood from my face, "You're lucky." She glanced over her shoulder to Eric, "I got it Eric, I'm sure you have more important things to do."

Eric threw her a look which would have killed her if looks could actually kill.

"I'm having a serious talk with Rose after she is cleaned up.'

I thought it was only the initiates who visibly trembled in their boots whenever Eric was in this mood, but I actually felt my mom tense up and look pretty scared when Eric said that.

"What did you do?" She asked carefully, probably trying not to upset Eric even more.

The damage was already done though, it was me who pissed him off when I disobeyed his order and showed weakness in the ring. My smart remarks when we walked to the infirmary didn't help either. I'm sure he wanted to punish me for my behavior.

"Disobeyed an order." I kept my eyes on Eric, "Then talked back to a Dauntless leader when he was lecturing me."

When I looked at my mom I saw her shaking her head. I knew that if we were alone she would have probably lectured me. With Eric hovering she kept her words to herself though.

"All cleaned up." My mom said, pulling away from me, "I'm going to get you some pain meds, be right back." When she turned around and walked past Eric to get me my meds, I noticed how they shared a look.

"So what's my punishment?" I ask, trying to break the awkward silence between us, "Kitchen duty for a week?"

The mirth in Eric's eyes worried me, "Extra training since you slacked off."

I narrowed my eyes on him. Somehow that didn't feel like punishment to me. Extra training meant that I was probably getting prepper for the fights tomorrow. It made me wonder why Eric was trying so damn hard to help me. When he made me stay the other day after I opened my big mouth he also helped me train. Maybe he liked it when someone challenged him, since only a few people in Dauntless dared to do that. His life must be boring as hell.

"I told you-"

"Rose!" I looked up, meeting my mom's gaze, "When will you learn?"

"Probably when Eric kicks my ass." I muttered, taking the bottle from her, "Can I go?"

She didn't seem happy about it, but she nodded and stepped aside so Eric and I could leave. He followed behind me which made me feel even more uncomfortable. I could feel his gaze piercing through my back and it took a lot of strength to keep walking, pretending he wasn't even there.

"Can I have dinner first?" I ask, looking over my shoulder at the amused looking Eric.

"Yes, meet me in the training room in thirty minutes."

So I dashed to the dining hall instead, quickly grabbing dinner so I would make it to extra training in time. Eric was no patient man, so I didn't want to keep him waiting.

"You look like hell." Hearing Four's voice made me jump up, "It's just me." He smirked, amused by my reaction.

"Sorry, I didn't expect you to be here." I scanned the room, it wasn't as busy as usual since dinner had been served a few minutes ago, "You guys usually rush through dinner."

I had thought Four felt awkward about what happened between us at the party last night, but the way he looked at me right now told me he wasn't going to act weird about it. I was glad though, because I didn't want to lose another friend.

"So I'm guessing the fights in your class are a lot more brutal."

I arched an eyebrow at him, "You haven't spoken to Lauren yet?"

"We're meeting over the weekend together with Eric." He told me, "The first scoreboard will be presented on Monday."

"So no fights for us over the weekend?" I asked, hoping I had more time to prepare myself.

He smiled, "No fights over the weekend."

I was rushing through my dinner and met up with Eric in the training room, barely making it on time. He kept his tongue though, so I'm guessing I didn't screw up yet. The sound of his steps echoing through the training room as he headed to the ring, giving me a look which told me to follow him. He tossed his jacket aside just like last time, the difference was that he looked a lot more serious than the previous time we trained together.

"I'm not holding back today." He told me, "Maybe that might motivate you to stop acting like a fucking coward in the ring."

I doubted him going all bad-ass Eric on me would help me in the ring, but I also doubted Eric wanted to hear my opinion about this.  
Stepping into the ring I had to take a deep breath to make sure I wouldn't bolt for the exit. The determined look in Eric's eyes scared me. He'd rip me apart if he got the chance, at least that's what his look told me.  
I jumped back when he suddenly charged at me, making me fall out of the ring, falling onto my butt. He raised his eyebrow at me in question.

"Seriously?" He couldn't sound more condescending even if he tried, "Get back in the ring, initiate."

He wasn't even calling me Rose right now. My behavior must have disgusted him, because the Eric I went home with last night was definitely gone. So was amused Eric who seemed to enjoy my teasing, even though he pretended he didn't care.

"I can't."

He stepped to the edge, looking down at me, "Did you sprain your ankle?"

I glanced down at my feet, shaking my head. A gasp leaving my lips when Eric grabbed onto my arm and pulled me back on my feet, pushing me into the ring.

"Stop making excuses." I turned around to face him, "I'm done playing around."

He aimed a punch to my side which I managed to dodge and tried to hit him back. He grabbed onto my wrist and spun me around, twisting my arm rather harshly behind my back. If he used just a bit more force he'd break my arm, we both knew it. I tried to keep strong, biting my lip to make sure I wouldn't scream in pain. Last thing I wanted was to give Eric yet another reason to mock me.

"Eric, what's going on here?"

I couldn't look behind me, but I knew who that voice belonged to. Four.

"Punishment."

They were politely talking to each other, yet the tension between those two was almost palpable. I couldn't see their looks right now, but I had a feeling they were in a glaring match right now.

"You're hurting her."

Four's footsteps were coming closer. Any other day I would have brushed him off for trying to rescue me, but today I appreciated it. Eric was probably trying to teach me something, but right now I wasn't in the mood to deal with his extreme methods.

Eric loosened his grip on me, but he didn't let me go, "That might be so, but it doesn't concern you."

Four stood before me, his arms folded across his chest as he stared right at Eric. I could feel him tense up behind me.

"Eric, you are pissed." Four narrowed his eyes on the Dauntless leader, "You can't deal with her while you're like that. I'll take over."

Four was trying to be patient with him, it was as if he was talking to a child. I could tell that Eric didn't like it, but he didn't lash out on Four either. He simply released me from his hold and mimicked Four's stance.

"Fine. I have better things to do." I felt Eric's eyes piercing my back, but I refused to meet his gaze, "Maybe you can get through her thick skull. I won't repeat myself Rose, if you hesitate again you won't make initiation."

I bit my lip, listening to Eric's footsteps as he left the training room. I guess he did wanted to teach me something. It surprised me that Four saw right through him though, I thought I was the only one. They might be closer to each other than people realized.

"Thanks."

Four flashed me a small smile, "He is right though. You won't make the first stage if you lose your matches."

"You know about it?" I asked surprised.

Four wasn't my instructor, so either Lauren told him about our matches today or he caught sight of what happened earlier today.

"I think even people outside the training room heard Eric yelling at you."

I wrapped my arms around myself, "I know he is right. But knowing something and actually having the courage to follow through are two different things."

I might have seen it wrong, but I think I saw pride flash through Four's eyes. He stepped closer to me, towering over me with his height. It was something Eric did all the time, yet I wasn't intimidated by Four when he did it. The odd thing was that I was actually quite comfortable with his presence right now. Something about his calm demeanor made me visibly relax.

"You can't hurt them because they're your friends." He wasn't asking me, he was stating it, "What you need to keep in mind is that when you're in the ring you're not friends. You're two initiates who are fighting for their place in Dauntless."

My eyes wandered from his eyes to his lips, making me remember how it felt when I kissed him. Eric and Four were like day and night. Four was calm and patient while Eric was rash and hotheaded. While Eric had tried to get through to me by fighting me, Four tried to get through to me with words. They would make the perfect team, though I doubted they saw it that way.

"I don't want to be cruel." I admitted to Four, knowing he could keep our conversation to himself, "I don't want to stop feeling the way I do right now. I'm afraid when I do I'll become like…" I stopped myself before I'd say something I would regret.

He understood though, his look told me enough.

"You having these concerns already tells me you're not the same. If you don't want to end up calling the streets your home I'd start getting more serious about the matches. It will be over before you know it." His gaze softened, "Trust me."

I didn't know Four that well, yet right now he made me feel like I could trust him with my life. Just something about the way he talked comforted me.

"Thanks, Four."

Leaving the training room I headed straight for the dorm. All I wanted was to catch some sleep, and forget about the dreadful day I had. My head hurt because I got punched in the face and now it felt like Eric dislocated my shoulder because of his forceful way of telling me to fight for my place in Dauntless. I received the message though. I wasn't sure if it was because of Eric's forceful ways or Four's comforting words. Either way I was going to fight for my place in Dauntless because this was my home. I had no intention of leaving it.


	7. Breaking Rules

**Thanks for leaving me a review, you guys! I really appreciate it.**

 **Chapter seven – Breaking Rules**

* * *

Since we had no training in the weekend we needed to help with unloading the supplies Dauntless received from Amity. The whole afternoon we had been carrying crates and other stuff around while people like Eric and Four oversaw us. Basically they just stood there, watching us work our asses off. The others didn't notice it, but I think Four and Eric were having a discussion. They kept it quiet, mostly attacking each other with looks.  
I noticed it though. I had no idea what it was about, but when Four met my gaze I swallowed when Eric also looked my way and said something to Four which made him back off and hold his hands up in defense.

Eric was heading toward me to lecture me no doubt, "You're slacking off."

I rolled my shoulder, it still being stiff because of the force Eric used last night.

"I wouldn't be so slow if you hadn't almost dislocated my shoulder last night."

That made his eyebrows shot up mockingly, "That was nothing. I barely touched you last night, if you can't handle a fight like that you're not fit to be in Dauntless."

Someone definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.

"Weren't you harassing Four a minute ago, why don't you go back to that?"

I would definitely never learn. My mother would be pulling her hair out if she was present right now. I remember clearly she tried to warn me yesterday. Eric just brought the worst out of me. Or maybe it was my more daring side. Whatever it was, it always got me in trouble.

"So you were watching Four a minute ago?"

I glanced around, making sure my fellow initiates didn't catch my conversation with Eric. Luckily everyone was busy carrying heavy crates around, trying hard not to catch Eric's attention.

"I wasn't watching anyone in particular."

He scoffed, folding his muscular arms across his chest. It made his black t-shirt tighten deliciously around his chest. Damn man was making me feel things I wasn't supposed to feel after he treated me like a rag doll last night.

"I've told you before, you're a bad liar, Rose." He leaned forward, his lips close to my ear, "I don't share."

My cheeks burned up as I processed what he was trying to say. I tried to push him away, but it was like pushing a fucking brick wall. He wouldn't budge.

"I wasn't looking at Four like that…" I whispered, making sure everyone around me was still focused on their task.

"I know your fuck look by now."

I wanted to step forward and cover his bad mouth with my hands. Eric using those words out in the open without lowering his voice made the heath erupt through my whole body.

"If you knew me by now you'd know who that look was for." I whispered to him, ignoring his surprised look, "Guess you can't read me as well as you think." With that I wanted to walk away, but Eric didn't let me have my moment. He grabbed my arm and stopped me in my tracks.

"Meet me at my apartment tonight."

I wasn't going to argue with him about that, I wanted to meet him tonight. He wasn't wrong about my look, I couldn't control how Eric made me feel. All I wanted was to roll around with Eric in his bed, letting him touch me the way he wanted. It always gave me the pleasure I longed for.  
He finally let me walk away. I noticed the looks I received when I passed May and the rest of Logan's groupies. I was definitely wrong when I thought no one was watching me interacting with Eric. People definitely noticed.

"What was that all about?" Xenia asked once I joined her and Damon at the truck.

I rolled my shoulder again, "Eric harassed me about slacking off."

"You were slacking off." Damon tossed me a bag and hopped off the truck, "But since I probably knocked your brains out no one is blaming you."

"Fuck you." I ignored his smirk and tossed the last bag onto the pile which other Dauntless members were checking, "What are your plans since we don't have any training this weekend?" I asked Xenia, trying to ignore Damon who wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"An awkward dinner with Michael and my boyfriend to clear out the air between us." She sighed, "You were right about him knowing everything so now we have to come clean about it and shit. Thanks for telling me."

Now I was confused.

"You want to keep sneaking around with your boyfriend even though you don't have to once you clear out the air with Michael?"

If it wouldn't make my life in Dauntless awkward I wanted to stop sneaking around with Eric. We weren't in a relationship, but it wasn't easy to keep doing whatever the hell we were doing. As far as I know there were no rules about relationships in Dauntless, but I knew people would talk even though it wasn't forbidden.

"They were in the same initiation class." When I didn't respond she huffed, "Come on, everyone knows you share a different kind of bond with the people in your initiation class. You all suffered together, you know."

We headed to Four and Eric to get cleared for the day, and watching them reminded me that even though what Xenia said was true for most people. It didn't apply to everyone.

"Four and Eric were in the same initiation class. I don't see them being bros for life."

Xenia followed my gaze, "They might not hang out all the time, but they understand each other. Have you not seen them communicate with only their eyes? It's weird how well they actually know each other."

"I'm pretty sure they're mostly arguing with their eyes."

I pushed Xenia in Eric's direction so I didn't have to deal with him right now. He noticed, but kept his tongue. It would surely come back to me tonight though. Four was just better company right now. He didn't try to rip out my arm for being a coward or to proof a point and he didn't call me a slacker either after almost ripping out a limb.

"How is the arm?" He asked, once it was my turn to get crossed off the list.

"Still sore." I shot a glance at Eric, "It didn't stop him from preaching to me though."

Four looked up from his list, "What I just witnessed didn't look like nothing." I noticed how his eyes scanned the area, "And I'm not the only one who noticed." He leaned closer to me, "You need to be more careful, Rose."

Four was concerned about me, I could hear it in his voice. This was the side of him which made everyone like him. Unlike Eric he didn't need to make his presence known by being the big, bad wolf. Just him being in the room made people notice him. Glancing over to the intimidating Dauntless leader I could tell why Four was only one of those people who could deal with Eric.

"I'll be more careful." I promised him.

Maybe going to Eric's apartment tonight wasn't such a good idea. Not when people just witnessed the strange conversation I had with him. It would give them a reason to be suspicious of us.

"Can I leave now?"

"Yes."

Flashing him a small smile to let him know I was really okay, I headed back to the compound. My friends were already dismissed so once again I was the last one to leave the scene. I could feel eyes piercing my back, but I refused to turn around and look at whoever tried to get my attention. I feared it was either someone I didn't want to give any attention, or that it was Eric. Either one wasn't good company at the moment.

"Took you long enough." Damon walked past her and Xenia, "Did Four want to interrogate you about how many crates you moved around today?"

I gave him a playful shove, "Not too sassy, Damon." I giggled when he threw me a look, "He wanted to know how I was doing. Eric almost ripped me apart last night and Four stopped him. They were playing good cop bad cop."

Now both my friends were confused.

"What did they want? I mean Damon pretty much beat you unconscious. If anyone should be harassed by them it should be him." Xenia ignored Damon who raised an eyebrow at her, "Don't give me that look, you know it's true."

I stared at my feet as we made our way to the dining hall to grab some lunch. I wasn't sure if it was good to share too much with them. So I decided to keep the party about Eric and I having a weird sexual relationship to myself, along with the part where I drunkenly kissed Four as a dare. They wouldn't be able to handle that.

"Eric thought I was a coward for not knocking Damon out when I had the chance." I flashed my friend an apologizing look, "He wanted to teach me a lesson about not being a coward in the ring."

"Really?" I heard the disbelieve in Xenia's voice, "So he wanted to help you even though he used the jerk approach?"

"Yes, he went all badass Eric on me and Four stopped him and just talked with me…About my future in Dauntless, you know." They both nodded, "I know I want to stay here and now I know what I have to do."

We pushed through the heavy doors, heading straight for the cafeteria to get some food. Thankfully the line wasn't that long since most members already ate. We grabbed lunch and ate quietly, dismissing the whole subject we discussed before.

"Shit." Xenia almost choked in her juice, "Trouble is coming our way." She whispered.

Looking over my shoulder I watched Michael approach our table with confident strides. His eyes fixed on Xenia. The guy did not look happy. He stopped at our table, hovering over his sister as he gave her a pointed look.

"We need to talk." I never saw Michael that pissed before.

He could manage a look just as intimidating as Four's, but not as frightening as Eric. Knowing which kind of pissed off he was made me relax a little. If I had to guess right now I figured it had something to do with the boy Xenia was seeing behind Michael's back.

"See you guys in the pit tonight?" She asked as, getting to her feet.

I know that I told Eric I would meet him at his apartment, but considering a lot of people noticed our odd behavior I figured it would be a lot saver if I met up with Xenia and Damon in the pit later. Eric would understand. He didn't want anything serious so he probably wouldn't even notice it if I didn't show up tonight.

"Sure, see you later." I shifted my look to Michael, "Keep her in one piece, please."

That made a small smile appear on his face, "Don't worry, we're just clearing the air."

I watched Xenia leave the dining hall together with Michael, looking back at Damon who kicked me underneath the table to get my attention.

"What?"

"What was that all about?"

Of course he didn't know anything. We didn't start hanging out the way we did after he punched me in the face. Believe it or not but using your fists was one way people made friends in Dauntless. I could understand why other factions thought we were fucking insane. We probably were.

"Boy problems." It wasn't my story to tell so I wouldn't tell Damon too much, "Xenia just needs to clear a few things for them to move forward."

"Sounds very complicated." Damon stretched and focused back on his food, "I'm getting a tat after this, you coming with?"

I had nothing better to do, so why the hell not?

"Sure." That made him grin at me, "You have something in mind?"

He stuffed his mouth full, keeping me waiting as he swallowed and gulped down half his drink.

"We have a little tradition at home. I'm getting the same tat my brother and father have."

Now I was curious. Damon didn't talk much about his family, the whole class knew who my mom was since she worked in the infirmary. I knew Xenia's brother since she kindly introduced us to him. Damon was more private when it came to his family.

"What kind of tat is it?" I asked, the curiosity probably very clear in my eyes.

"It's a massive cross on the back." I could tell he was proud of it, "Since we are the Cross family you know. It might sound stupid to other people, but I like it. It will make me officially part of the group if that makes any sense."

"A massive tattoo, huh?" I tipped back the last remains of my juice and knocked the glass back down on my tray, "Did you make an appointment for that? You'll be in there for hours."

He nodded, "No worries, I have an appointment. Tori said it has been a while since she did a massive tattoo like that. She once done a fucking awesome massive tattoo, but whoever wanted it doesn't want people to know about it."

"So she can't show off her work." Now I understood why she was excited about this one, "Yours she can talk about and actually show off to other people."

"So she agreed to clear her schedule for me." His boyish grin actually made me like him more, "Since you already agreed you have to stay by my side while she is working on it."

"Then we need to make a stop first." I leaned closer to him, "It's kind of against the rules, are you game?"

He didn't need to answer me, the mischievous look sparkling in his eyes told me enough. I knew it was wrong of me to pull my friends down with me, but I needed a look out for what I was about to do.

"Follow me then."

Walking out of the dining hall I led Damon into a dark hallway near my parent's apartment. He didn't look too confused when he noticed we were in the living quarters. When he met my gaze I noticed the knowing look in his eyes. He knew what we were about to do and he was definitely game. There was something about sneaking around in Dauntless trying to dodge Eric, Four and Lauren.

"I'll sneak inside, warn me if you see someone heading toward the apartment." I whispered to him.

"Don't take too long." He warned me, "If they catch us Eric will probably kill us."

"He wouldn't."

Damon raised an eyebrow at me, "Really? The guy nearly rips your arm out for not knocking me out conscious, but he'll go easy on us for breaking and entering? Really?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "Okay, fine. He might rip us apart. I'll be quick."

If Eric caught us he'd probably rip Damon apart, it might be cocky of me to think this but I was sure he wouldn't hurt me that much. He might not like me enough to want something more than a sexual relationship, but he was amused enough by me to keep me around.

"I'll knock twice on the door if I see someone coming our way."

I nodded and sprinted across the hallway, glancing over my shoulder to see Damon lurking in the corner. It was probably best if he didn't stand right in front of the door. Michael mentioned they had cameras everywhere, so someone in the control room would find it suspicious if Damon lingered around a front door for too long.  
I didn't bring my keys since this plan was more of a spontaneous thought that came over me. I hoped my mom didn't start the habit of locking the door in the middle of the day. Quietly turning the nob, I sighed in relief when the door actually opened and carefully stepped inside. I jumped when I saw my dad sitting at the kitchen table, looking at me as if I lost my mind.

"Dad!"

He pressed a finger to his mouth and nodded toward the hallway leading to the bedrooms. He gestured to the supply closet behind him. Nodding I sprinted to the supply closet and hid inside, leaving the door ajar so I could see what was going on.

"Anna, honey, could you hurry up already. I'm aging ten years here." He called.

I heard my mom giggle, "I'm coming!" I heard footsteps coming closer, so I assumed my mom was heading toward the kitchen, "We can't make it too late though, I want to catch some sleep before my shift tonight." I narrowed my eyes on the blue folder I had seen in Eric's apartment the other day.

Mom dropped the file on the table and turned her back to me.

"How is Bell doing?"

I was right here, but I figured my dad couldn't exactly ask me since I was hiding in the closet.

"What do you mean?"

I could hear my dad sigh, "You know what I mean. You're working closely with Eric, surely he mentioned how our daughter is doing."

"Actually I have spoken to our daughter a few times." I was glad my mom wasn't lying to my dad, "Eric mentioned that she is doing fine."

"Wait, you seeing Bell isn't supposed to be a good thing, right? You are working in the infirmary."

"She lost her first fight." My mom sounded very casual about it, I heard them move to the front door so apparently they were ready to leave the apartment, "But Eric told me that she'll be fine. She'll make the first stage."

Eric told my mom that? Yesterday he was trying to make me tremble in fear by telling me I wouldn't make it, yet he told my mom something else. I heard the door close so I figured they left the apartment. Heading out of the closet I grabbed the file I once scanned through because I was curious about my mom's project. Since Eric had it last I figured things changed. Data probably got updated and maybe this time I would actually understand what it was about. I just had to know.  
Flipping through the pages my eyes landed on a page which was signed my Jeanine Matthews. I had seen this uptight, stern looking woman once. After I met her I appreciated our leadership a lot more.

 _Subjects with a divergent test result will be immune to the serum and will show signs when they're going through their simulation._

It made me remember my simulation during the aptitude test. The guy who administered my test had been vague, but at the same time I had seen the fear in his eyes. I had a feeling this also applied to me, which scared the hell out of me.

 _When the signs have been confirmed Dauntless leadership will immediately take action and notify-_

I jumped when I heard two loud knocks. Damon was warning me. Quickly closing the file I sprinted down the hallway, heading to my room. I leaned against the wall behind my door and tried to stay quiet.

"Bell?"

It was my dad. I had no idea where he left my mom, but right now I actually needed him. Whatever I had read scared me, even if I didn't understand it. I was smart enough to understand that it wasn't something good. Walking down the hall I met my dad's gaze and immediately flew into his arms.

"It's so good to see you." He whispered in my hair, holding me tightly in his arms, "I really missed you. You'll get in trouble if someone finds out, Bell. You need to leave immediately. I can't stall your mom forever."

Pulling out of his embrace I jumped when I felt my dad brushing my tears away. I had no idea I had been crying.

"I know initiation is tough, but you can do it, Bell."

I nodded, my mind being such a chaotic mess that I couldn't form any words.

"Why did you risk coming here?" He asked, looking down at me.

He wasn't pissed though, he looked curious.

"I wanted to grab a book." I whispered to him, "It sounds silly now that I say it oud loud."

He chuckled, "Well go grab a book then." He stepped aside, "After that you need to leave. I don't want you to get in trouble over this."

I quickly grabbed my favorite book out of my room and joined my dad in the living room again. I kissed his cheek and watched as he carefully peeked out the door. Making sure the hallway was clear.

"It's clear." He whispered, "Go, go, go!"

In a rush I left the apartment and headed to the pit. My heart clenched painfully when I felt someone grab my shoulder and immediately stood frozen to the spot.

"Thank god you made it out!"

Damon. I let out a breath, apparently I had been holding my breath because of the jumpscare Damon gave me.

"Barely." I admitted to him, "Let's get you a tattoo now." I held up my book, "Victory is ours!"

* * *

After Damon got his tattoo which would probably kill him if someone beat the crap out of him this Monday we headed to the pit, meeting Xenia who was there together with Michael and all his friends. They looked drunk already.

"Took you two long enough." Xenia exclaimed with a grin spread across her face, "You just missed an epic game of never have I ever."

I took the bottle which Michael offered me, "We'll live."

Everyone was having a good time, playing around the whole night. I couldn't quite get over whatever I saw though. That memo had not been in that file the first time I scanned through it. I hadn't looked at the date or to whom it was addressed, but the words I did read made me feel sick.

"If your arm is still bothering you I'll walk you to the infirmary."

That snapped me out of my thoughts. Looking up I met the concerned gaze of Four.

"It's not that." I told him, "I'm just tired, I guess."

I could tell that he didn't believe me, but he didn't push the subject either.

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

I wasn't sure if I could trust Four with what I had read. If he told Eric about it the guy wouldn't let me get off the hook. I broke the rules of initiation and snooped through confidential Dauntless leadership files. I didn't want to know what Eric would do if he knew about that.

Tipping back the last remains of the one drink I had this night, I turned on my heels, "I'm heading back to the dorm."

I felt Four's warm hand on my back, "I'll walk you to the dorm."

He guided me to the dorm, the silent walk actually helping me collect my thoughts. Four dropped his hand and looked at me as we reached the dorm. I turned around to face him.

"Thanks for the walk."

"It looked like you needed someone beside you."

It was hard to explain, but there was something about Four that draw people to him. He wanted to keep to himself, and he mostly succeeded. His friends though, friends like Michael and Zeke wouldn't let him isolate himself. It made me wonder why a guy like Four kept to himself when he could have everything in Dauntless.

"I'm sorry for behaving like this." I couldn't manage to talk louder than a whisper, but Four didn't seem to find it odd, "I just couldn't handle all of that-" I gestured to the hallway we came from, "Do you sometimes feel like you want to be anywhere else? Doing anything else than…this."

My heart starting beating in my chest, knowing I just told Four something ridiculous. He'd probably think I was crazy.

"All the time."

Wait…What? I didn't think he'd feel the same way as me so I literally had no idea what to say.

"What happened to make you feel like that?"

I wrapped my arms around myself, telling Four could make my whole life in Dauntless a living nightmare if he ratted me out. Yet he made me feel like he wasn't the kind of person to stab someone in the back. Just maybe my secret was safe with him. Whatever the hell my secret was.

"I've read something I wasn't supposed to see."

"You feel guilty about it?"

I shook my head, "I'm more afraid of what will happen to me if he finds out I snooped through his files."

I was being vague, but apparently not vague enough for Four. He understand immediately who I was talking about. It was probably the fear in my eyes and my shaky voice. Only he could make people behave this way without even being present.

"You went through his stuff?" Four lowered his voice.

"No!" I pressed my lips together when I realized I was being too loud, "I went back home today to grab something and I saw the file laying on the kitchen table. I've scanned through it before, but last time I didn't understand what it was about." I looked up meeting Four's gaze, "I still don't understand it, but I do know when something is about me, or about what I am."

I clenched my jaw tightly when I heard the telltale of Eric's heavy footsteps. He could be heard before he was seen. Shaking my head at Four I quickly stepped into the dorm and closed the door behind me, leaning against the closed door to catch my breath.

"What are you doing here, Four?" I could hear Eric's voice even if it was muffled by the metal door.

"An initiate got sick so I made sure she got to the dorm safely."

Four covered for me. So my gut had been right about him. He wouldn't rat me out to Eric.

"What are you doing? She needs her rest, Eric." I quickly pushed away from the door, afraid Eric would step inside and question me, "Since you're here we can discuss tomorrow's game plan-" I could barely understand the words Four was saying so I guessed they were moving away from the door.

Kicking my boots off I crawled into bed, trying to forget everything. Eric came after me, he was probably pissed I stood him up tonight. On the bright side I think I made a new ally, maybe I wasn't screwed with Four by my side. That file though…I couldn't help but to wonder what Erudite was after and why Dauntless was helping them. It didn't feel right to me.


	8. Jealousy

Hi guys,

Thanks for leaving me a review guys, I appreciate it!

 **Chapter eight – Jealousy**

* * *

Avoiding Eric had been easy. The whole morning I messed around with Xenia and Damon, loving to be loud and annoying since they were both wasted. That probably made me a bad friend, but I didn't care.

"Wanna party in the pit tonight?" Xenia wrapped an arm around my waist and leaned closer to me, "I want to officially introduce you to my boyfriend."

Glancing around the room, I made sure no one was within hearing distance. What I heard last night was not something I was supposed to share with everyone. Four might be on my side, he wouldn't like it that much if I broke too many rules. Dauntless would always be a part of him.

"I'm pretty sure it's game night tonight." I whispered to her, "Last night Four told Eric he needed to discuss tomorrow's game plan with him. I can only assume it's about capture the flag."

"We need to head to bed early." Xenia nodded, "It's definitely game night tonight."

She looked excited, but kept quiet about it. Knowing it was capture the flag day would give us a huge advantage. Most initiates would party tonight since it was still a free night for us. They'd be slow and unfocused during the game.

"I'm heading to the dorm after dinner." I told Xenia, "But definitely want to meet the boyfriend." I met her gaze, "How did Michael take it?"

"He isn't pissed about it, he just needs time to get used to it since they're close." She pulled away from me and pushed through the heavy doors of the dining hall first, "You know what they say about people who were in the same initiation class."

"Yeah, I know. They share a special bond."

Grabbing our food we took a seat at our usual table. Damon was already seated together with Four and Michael. We didn't change our subject though, I think Xenia was comfortable enough to discuss this in front of her brother now.

"Yes and they're working together so I can understand why it's difficult for him to get passed the fact that one of his closest friends is now fucking his sister."

I threw my head back and laughed, "God! Xenia."

Xenia jumped up, cursing Michael loudly so I assumed her brother just kicked her underneath the table. Shifting my gaze to Four, I raised an eyebrow at him in question when I noticed the subtle gesture he made toward the door.

"I actually need to run guys, I forgot I had an appointment."

Not waiting for their responses I headed out of the dining hall, knowing Four would take a few seconds so it wouldn't look like he followed me. Making sure no one else I didn't want to see would find me I kept scanning the hallway.

"This way." I jumped hearing Four's whisper behind me.

Freaking jump scare. Spinning on my heels I followed Four to the chasm. I guess he was leading me some place where people wouldn't find us that easily.  
I had no idea there was a place even closer to the water, the sound was deafening though. So I would barely be able to hear Four if we didn't stand close to each other.

"There is no camera up here because of the water and the sound." He told me, glancing up to the bridge where I first talked to Eric without seeing him as my leader, "Our conversation got interrupted by Eric last night. I couldn't leave it like that though."

I wrapped my arms around myself, "I have so many questions-"

"I know you do." Like me he kept scanning the area, "Listen, you can never tell anyone about what you are or what you found out." His eyes met mine and I could tell he was actually serious about this, "If Dauntless leadership finds out what you are they'll kill you."

It shouldn't scare me hearing him say this since I read it myself in that damn confidential file, but I still felt a shiver going down my spine, making my whole body tremble with fear.

"T-The file said people like me show signs during the simulation. What does that mean?"

"Stage two of initiation is the fear simulation. People like us-" Four admitting to me that he is the same actually did help a little to calm me down, "We're more aware during the simulation. That's dangerous though, that's how Dauntless leadership finds out about what we are."

I stepped closer to Four, my chest almost pressing against his. I did it without thinking, but he didn't seem to mind.

"My mom is working closely with Eric on this one. I think they're trying to improve the serum-"

"Did you see a time period printed anywhere in the file?"

I shook my head, "The first time I read it I didn't understand it. It was mostly scientific terms about the serum itself. This time there was a memo attached to it written by Jeanine Matthews. I think it was addressed to Eric."

"What did it say?"

"When people like us show signs during the simulation Dauntless leadership should immediately take action and notify Erudite-" I inhaled deeply, needing it to calm myself down, "I'm sorry, I couldn't read more because my dad walked in."

"I'm sorry."

It surprised me that Four suddenly apologized, it surprised me even more when he suddenly wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his body. His heath washed over me, oddly enough it calmed my chaotic mind down. It confused me that Four suddenly decided to hug me since I didn't think he was the hugging type, then I heard the telltale footsteps of Eric and knew why he had done that.

"What's going on here?"

He could clearly see what was going on, yet he still felt the need to ask. It made me wonder if he was hoping we'd apologize and tell him nothing was going on.  
Four pulled away from me, but I refused to turn around and stare at Eric. It would only make me a nervous wreck considering I had stood him up yesterday. He came to find me for an explanation, but I let Four distract him. Of course Eric was pissed at me. I could feel his eyes piercing in my back.

"Nothing." Four answered, "Do you need me for something?"

"No-"

"Then I'm walking Rose back to the dorm."

Four interrupted Eric before he could finish his sentence, the blonde Dauntless leader would not take that very well. We didn't stay to see him unravel though. Four placed his hand on my back and guided me back to the upper level so we could head back to the dorm. Once again Eric came to find me, and once again I didn't face him. He wouldn't forget this.

"Hold it." Eric ordered.

We both froze to the spot since Eric ordered us to stop. Inhaling deeply to find the courage to face Eric I slowly turned around, meeting the stormy gaze of the blonde leader.

"You can go, Four."

Four wanted to protest but one glare from Eric made him walk away, just like Eric asked of him. I knew Four couldn't disobey a direct order from Eric either so I didn't blame him for leaving me behind with the blonde leader. What frightened me as the fact that we were standing in a place where no cameras were planted due to the water and deafening sounds. He could do whatever he wanted and get away with it.

"How are you feeling?"

That took me off guard, I thought Eric would be yelling at me the minute Four left us. He sounded rather calm down, which frightened me even more.

"Better."

He stepped closer to me, "I thought I made it clear to you that I don't share."

I knew what he was talking about, but I pretended to be oblivious to his feelings.

"What do you mean?"

He stood so close to me I could actually see the different colored flecks in his eyes. The way he clenched his jaw told me he was getting angry with me for wasting his time by pretending to be oblivious about everything.

"You getting cozy here with Four. Do you want him, is that it?"

"You're being insane." I told him, raising my chin in defiance, "I don't know what you think is going on between me and Four, but we're just friends. But honestly you're the one who doesn't want anything more than a sexual relationship with me so frankly it's none of your business what I do or don't do with Four."

I saw the disgust in his eyes as he processed what I told him.

"So you're clinging to Four because I can't give you what you want?"

"I'm not clinging to Four!"

"So if you're just friends why did you two need to meet up in secret?" He grabbed onto the end of my hair and raised my head up, making me look him in the eyes, "Just tell me what the fuck is going on, Rose."

Even though his dominant behavior was a huge turn on to me, I couldn't let it show. He'd use it against me, I knew he would. So pressing both my palm against his firm chest I pushed him off me with all my might. It surprised me that he actually moved, I couldn't let him catch me though so I quickly stepped back.

"Nothing is going between us." I told him loud and clear.

With that I turned on my heels and almost sprinted away, I couldn't deal with jealous Eric. Not right now. Capture the flag was coming up tonight and I needed to focus on that, considering we'd receive points for our participation.  
Entering the dorm I was surprised to see Xenia and Damon already there. We decided to put on our training gear since we knew how this worked. They'd barge in the middle of the night, demanding of us to meet them at the train tracks in five. Like anyone could freshen up and get dressed within in five minutes.

Xenia took a seat on my bed, "So where were you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You had an urgent appointment, what was it?" She asked curiously, "Are you seeing someone?"

God, not this again. If Eric wasn't harassing me about Four, other people were harassing me about my love life. I couldn't tell Xenia anything though, not when the men in my life were part of the initiation process. It wasn't against the rules, but it was still frowned upon. I could only imagine the rumors which would start.

"I met up with Four and Eric, apparently my name didn't get crossed off the list." Damn I was becoming a good liar, "They just needed to correct it."

"God, if you needed to help with unloading again I'd seriously hate being you." She smiled at me, "Eric apparently has your back since he wants you to pass initiation and you do have something special with Four considering you pushed your tongue down his throat."

"You weren't even there when that happened!"

"You made out with Four?!" I snapped my head in Damon's direction who looked horrified, "H-How, I mean…What?"

"Calm down, guys. It was just a game, there was nothing special about that kiss." I glared at Xenia who exaggerated the whole thing, "And there were no tongues involved."

"Nothing special about that kiss, huh?" Xenia's tone told me she didn't believe me, "According to Mike and Zeke it was something they never witnessed before. I have a feeling those guys are planning something."

I narrowed my eyes on her, "Planning what exactly?"

She turned to look at Damon, "What I'm about to say stays in this room, got it?"

"Have a little more faith in me, Xenia." He pretended to be hurt, "Rose knows I've got her back."

"He does." I nodded, "He helps me commit crimes."

Xenia rolled her eyes, "Oh, please, entering your own house is not a crime."

"It is during initiation." I smiled at her, "Then it's considered breaking and entering which is a crime."

Damon sat on Xenia's bed which was next to mine. Xenia turned her attention to me, looking a bit too excited for my liking. It was never a good thing when people grinned like that at me.

"Mike and Zeke want to hook you and Four up."

"What?" I whispered, thinking I heard her wrong.

"They think you two would make a cute couple."

Damon stared at me, "I think you were being modest about that kiss, Rose. It must have been one hell of a kiss of Michael and Zeke want to hook you two up."

I grabbed onto my pillow and wrapped my arms around it while I held it close to my chest. I couldn't hide the blush spreading across my face, I was grateful my friends didn't tease me about it.

"Four doesn't look at me that way…"

Xenia raised an eyebrow at me, "I don't hear a flat out no though."

"I'm still human!" I told her, "Come on, every girl in Dauntless is attracted to that guy. It's his attitude which keeps them at a distance."

"He isn't pushing you away."

How did she know about that?

"The boyfriend, Zeke and my brother all work at the control room, Rose. They see things."

Did Eric see those things as well?

"They're seeing things that aren't there." I pushed Xenia off my bed who kept laughing like a mad man, "Trust me they're wrong about us."

"Oh so there is an us?"

I glared at Damon. Couldn't he stay quiet about this? Flipping both of them off I placed my pillow back on the mattress and laid down. I needed to catch some sleep before they'd rudely wake us up to play capture the flag.

* * *

As expected Four and Eric barged into the room in the middle of the night and demanded of us to meet them the train tracks in five. Thankfully Damon, Xenia and I only had to freshen up so we met up with our superiors in a record of time.  
I noticed how Eric and Four shared a look, apparently it was a bit suspicious of us to be there a few minutes early.

"Did you guys sleep in your gear?" Four asked amused, walking away from Eric to join our group.

"Maybe." I smiled at him.

He met my gaze, "I think I get it now."

When I stood Eric up Four covered for me by bringing the game up, maybe he thought I didn't hear part of their conversation, but I did.

"It might take a while before the others join us. So I suggest you three get comfortable-" He pointed to the awaiting train, "Don't cause a ruckus in there."

Damon and Xenia walked past Eric to enter the train first, I didn't dare to pass him though. Something about his intense gaze made me stand exactly where I was, close to Four.

"You're allowed to move, you know."

I glanced back at Four, "I know." I lowered my voice, "I'm comfortable right here though."

He glanced over his shoulder, "He won't bite." He sounded amused as he looked back at me, "Not when I'm around."

"Jerk." I purposely bumped my shoulder against Four's arm, chuckling when he pretended to be hurt.

Walking past Eric I kept my gaze ahead, not wanting to meet his eyes. I could feel his eyes piercing my back as I entered the train. When I did enter the train I wished I stayed right outside with Four, because the looks both Damon and Xenia gave me made me blush seven shades of red.

"What?"

"You still want to convince us about him?" Xenia asked.

I know she was referring to Four. That small interaction made both of them giggle like little kids, if they knew what was going between me and Eric they'd freak out.

"We're just friends."

Damon smirked, "Keep telling yourself that."

After a few minutes the others started to join us, filling the train up with tired looking initiates. Most of the transfers looked confused, not knowing what was going on. Dauntless born were pumped, ready to shoot and concur.

"Gather 'round, initiates." Eric's voice boomed through the whole train, making everyone shut up.

I turned around and actually faced the man who looked right at me. Four handed him a plastic looking gun, it didn't look like a paintball gun though which confused me. Capture the flag was always played with paintball guns, that was tradition. Something told me we wouldn't like the change of guns that much.

"Our weapon of choice-" He made sure he kept it in the air so everyone could see, "This gun stimulates the pain of a real gunshot. So don't mess around with it-" He scanned the train, making sure everyone got that he wasn't joking, "If I catch you messing around with it you'll have to deal with me and I promise you I'm not in the mood right now."

He lowered his gun and turned to look at Four, "Two teams. Four and I are captains." Eric looked a lot more pumped about this than Four, "Since you won last year it's only fair I get to choose first."

"Go right ahead." Four gestured to Eric.

"Okay, Rose."

I didn't move, confused the blonde Dauntless leader chose me to be part of his team. I figured he wanted me to be in Four's team so he could shoot me a few times since I pissed him off. He raised an eyebrow at me when I didn't move.

"Today, initiate!"

Gulping I stepped toward him, standing behind him as he and Four started to divide the initiates into two teams. Both Damon and Xenia were in Four's team. Freaking May and her entourage were in Eric's team which made me wonder if Eric did this on purpose. He knew very well May and her annoying friends hated me. He isolated me from my friends and put me together with people who hated my guts to work together. That would probably not end well.

"We're getting off first." Eric announced, standing in the doorway while looking outside.

"Sure." Four didn't sound that bothered by it.

I met Four's gaze, he could see the concern in my eyes, because he flashed me an apologizing smile.

"This is our stop." Eric announced, jumping off first.

We followed after him, I made sure I kept my distance from everyone else because quite frankly I didn't trust May and her friends.  
Eric stopped in front of a tall abounded building and turned to face us. He grabbed a neon green colored flag from his inner jacket pocket and held it up.

"You guys get to decide where we hide this and what strategy we use, so go right ahead." He gestured, taking his distance so we could make up a plan.

"I say we put up a tight defense and let two teams eliminate our biggest threats, the people who can actually shoot." One of the transfers suggested.

"Who do we need to look out for?" Laura asked, the girl who was Dauntless born.

"Obviously Four." Braden snorted, "Then you have Damon who is our best shooter." He glanced at the transfer who suggested this plan, "Who is the best shooter in your class?"

"Nala and Felix." The transfer answered without hesitation.

"Then it's settled." Eric butted in, making everyone turn to look at him, "Two transfers go after Nala and Felix." Eric met my gaze, "I'll go after Four and Damon together with Rose." He looked back at the group, "The rest of you guard the flag."

"Why does Rose get to smoke out Four?" Braden asked, not liking the idea very much.

"She is the best shooter in your class." Eric's glare made him step back, "And because I said so."

Eric handed the neon flag to the transfer who came up with the plan, "Since it's your plan you get the honor of hiding it and securing it." Glancing at his watch he met my gaze, "Let's go. The game started three minutes ago."

I followed after Eric, I knew he was right about it being the best idea I tagged along considering my shooting skills. It just confused me that he wasn't doing anything to make me regret pissing him off the way I did.

"Why did you choose me to tag along with you?"

He kept walking ahead, "Are you deaf? Because you're the best shooter in your class."

I rolled my eyes, "I doubt that's the reason why you chose me." I whispered, biting my lip when Eric looked over his shoulder to meet my gaze.

He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me completely, "That's right, that's not the only reason why I chose you." A sinister smile spread across his face, "I'll go after Damon, you get to eliminate Four."

"You want me to go after Four." I stopped in my tracks, understanding why he chose me to tag along.

"You need to get your hearing checked." He muttered, "That's exactly what I said."

"You know I'm no match for Four."

He turned around again and headed straight for a tall building which was located in the center of the pier. I followed after him, knowing he was going to use the building to locate Four's team.  
Eric wanted me to get hurt by Four, I think that was his way of getting back at me. I didn't speak after that and neither did he. I just followed him up the stairs, going to the top floor of the building so we had the best view of the location.

"That's where they keep their flag." He pointed to the Ferris wheel where a neon yellow flag lit up the place, "I'm sure the people we're looking for are close to the Ferris wheel."

"Fine, let's go."

I walked out of the empty room first, heading straight for the stairs. I could hear Eric close behind me, but refused to look at him.

"You're eager to do this. Can't wait to be alone with him?"

I turned around before I could take the first step down and glared at Eric, "What is your fucking problem?"

Eric's look didn't falter as I glared at him, if anything it only intensified the fire burning in his stormy eyes.

"You are." He answered bluntly, "You stood me up to be together with him. And don't give me the fucking 'we're just friends' answer. You think I don't hear things-" He stepped closer to me, "I know you made out with him."

I stepped back which was a huge mistake because I fell backwards, calling for Eric as I closed my eyes tightly. Before I fell off the concrete stairs Eric grabbed onto my hand and pulled me to him, pressing me against his firm chest as he wrapped his arms around me tightly. I whimpered, feeling the tears burn up in my eyes because of the fear of dying. Eric softly rubbed my back as he let me calm down in his arms.

"It's okay." He whispered to me, "You're safe."

I tightly wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek against his chest while I tried to calm myself down. It helped that he comforted me as gently as Eric could. Even though I almost died just now I knew I also had to face other fears right now and comforting Eric about how I felt was one of those fears.

"If it bothers you that much then just don't give me a reason to run to Four."

Eric gripped my arms tightly as he pulled away from me to look me in the eyes. I thought he'd yell at me again, instead he leaned in and covered my lips with his, kissing the life out of me. He kissed me so desperately as if he was afraid I'd disappear if he let go of me. Grabbing onto my waist he lifted me up which made me wrap my legs around his waist to keep myself steady while I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pressed me up against the wall, making both our weapons drop to the floor. Neither of us cared though, we were too consumed by lust as we devoured each other.  
Before I knew it Eric had zipped down both our pants and had pushed inside me without a warning. I clung to him as I tried to get used to the size of him. Usually he prepared me for what was coming, but I think that this time he did it to punish me. The way he thrusted into me made me feel like he tried to possess me. I didn't care though, it felt amazing having Eric inside me again. He made sure to keep our lips locked to catch my moans and whimpers. Clutching his shoulders I tried to keep my sounds to a minimum, afraid of being caught by someone in this position. Eric covered my mouth with his hand when he felt me tightening around him, letting him know I was very close. The sounds of my moans got muffled by him as I reached my toe curling orgasm. Leaning my head against the wall, I could barely focus on Eric as he still moved inside me to reach his own orgasm. My eyes widened when I felt him release inside of me. That was not supposed to happen. Hearing Eric's curse which followed after told me he was thinking the same thing as me.

"We need to get ready." He pulled away from me, zipping himself up as he leaned down to grab both our guns, "I'm sure the game is done by now."

I zipped my pants up, feeling like a sticky mess as I followed after Eric who was leaving the building in a rush.

"Eric-"

"We'll talk about this later."

We headed straight for the train tracks, Eric had been right about the game being done. Our team didn't win, I wouldn't admit to anyone it was probably because Eric and I slacked off to have sex in an abounded building.

"Rose!" Xenia waved our neon green flag in the air with a big grin plastered on her face, "We won!"

I walked past Eric and joined my friends, "I can see that. Congrats."

"Even though you're on the losing team you're still invited to our party." She announced.

"We do have training in the morning." I reminded her.

She gave me a playful shove, "Stop trying to ruin our mood. We need to celebrate this shit."

Glancing over my shoulder I saw Eric and Four discuss something. It didn't look like they were arguing but I could feel the tension between them. I raised an eyebrow in question when both men snapped their heads in my direction. They weren't subtle about what they were discussing. Even though I was their main subject I still didn't want to know what they were saying about me. Not knowing was probably a whole lot better.

"So where is this party of yours?" I asked Xenia, trying to ignore both men.

"In the pit, obviously." She wrapped an arm around my shoulders, "It's going to be epic. We beat Eric's ass and everyone needs to know that."

I snorted. I doubted anyone would dare to say those words in public because they feared the blonde leader. She was only saying those words now because Eric couldn't hear her.

"Four doesn't seem to be in a celebrating mood." Damon remarked.

Xenia brushed him off, "When does the guy ever show any hint of emotion on his face. He's probably celebrating on the inside."

The train ride back to the compound was chaotic, but not chaotic enough to distract my mind from what happened earlier this night. When I met Eric's gaze I could tell he was concerned about what happened as much as I was. I was glad he wasn't taking it lightly, because then I'd really freak out.

"Guys, I'm going to freshen up real quick. See you in the pit later?"

Xenia wrapped an arm around Damon's waist, "You know it. See you later!"

I watched them running off to celebrate their victory and headed to the dorm to take a quick shower. The dorm was empty since the rest of the group was partying in the pit. Eric's team lost but you were not a true Dauntless if you passed a party. I think most of them forgot that tomorrow we were going to get graded for our matches again. It would have been wise of me to stay behind and get some rest, but just like the rest of my class I felt like checking out the party for just a few minutes.  
After my shower I got dressed in some comfy clothes and left the dorm, only to be slammed into a wall by brute force. Gasping I looked up to meet dark, stormy eyes.

"Eric? What the fuck?"

"Follow me."

Rubbing my chest lightly I followed after the cranky blonde leader, confused that he just slammed me in a wall without a good reason.

"You could have used your words, Eric." I jogged a little, trying to catch up with him, "Where are we going?"

"I checked the schedules, your mom has a day off tonight which is perfect for us." He glanced over his shoulder, "We need to take care of you fast and without your mom knowing about it."

Then I understood. We were heading to the infirmary to get the morning after pill which was the most logical thing to do. It surprised me that Eric tried to hide this from my mom though, he seemed like the kind of person who didn't give a fuck about what people thought of him.

"I know why I don't want my mom to find out, why do you want to hide it from her?"

I think I knew why, but I wanted to know what Eric would answer.

"You know your mom and I work together. If she finds out I like to fuck her daughter she wouldn't want to work this case anymore." He stopped in his tracks when we faced the door to the infirmary and turned to look at me, "I don't particularly care, there are tons of other people who can work this case, but Jeanine specifically asked for her so I can't afford her to leave."

"I think my mom would be less upset knowing it's you who I am doing…this with."

I walked past him, pushing through the heavy door. He followed closely behind, making me jump when he placed his hand on my back and guided me to the front desk.

"I'm here to see Hilary."

The lady at the front desk smiled brightly at Eric, her smile was so fake it actually made my face hurt. I guess the lady didn't want to upset Eric so she tried to flash him her sweetest smile ever. She failed though, she failed hard.

"Take the bed in the back, she'll see you in a minute."

Without thanking her Eric pushed me toward the assigned bed. I hopped onto it since Hilary was still occupied. I took my time observing Eric. He pretended not to care, but the way he reacted when I told him he was the one pushing me in Four's direction told me otherwise. It made me wonder what he really felt when it came to me.

"Stop staring."

I gulped, looking away when Eric caught me staring at him.

"I wasn't."

"You sure were, but can't blame you sweetheart-" I could hear the arrogant smirk in his voice which made me want to smack it off his face, "You're not the only chick who loves to look at this face."

His arrogance might have pissed me off, but I couldn't help but to giggle when he said those words to me.

"You sure about that?" I met his amused gaze, "Sure you're attractive but most chicks are just terrified of you."

"You weren't." He folded his arms across his chest, "You took every opportunity you got to push your hand down my pants."

I wasn't the only one who was lost in this thing between us. Eric proved it tonight, yet he refused to admit it.

"I think tonight is a good example of me not being the only one lost in this thing, Eric."

The amusement slipped off his face, "You're right."

I almost fell off the bed hearing him admit that. I was at loss of words, really. Never would I have imagined Eric telling me I was right. Even if it was the case I almost imagined him denying it. When I observed his face I noticed that he wasn't particularly pleased about it.

"We need to be more careful-"

"Good evening." We both shut our mouths when the doctor who Eric requested to help us invaded our private conversation, "I have to admit that I was quite surprised when I received your message a few minutes ago, Eric."

"I need your discretion concerning this situation."

The look Eric threw his woman made a shiver run down my spine. He got the cold, evil glare down. It surprised me the woman didn't turn to stone just with that look. She brushed it off with a laugh and focused on me instead.

"Okay, doll I'm going to get you the pill, but since you are sexually active it might be good to consider birth control."

It was odd to discuss this in front of Eric, but the bored look on his face told me he couldn't care less.

"I think with initiation it would be a hassle to think about taking my birth control pill every day-"

"So you take the shot which lasts for three months straight."

Hilary was so casual about it which made discussing this subject a lot easier. She held up a finger when I was about to say something and walked off. I glanced at Eric who shrugged a shoulder. Within in a few seconds she returned and handed me a small cup with a pill inside it.

"You take this and everything is going to be fine." Hilary reassured me, "And come and see me when you made up your mind about that birth control, okay, doll?"

"Hilary." Eric called when the woman was about to walk away, "I need you to tell me you understand what I asked of you."

"I understand, Eric." She stated firmly, trying hard not to laugh, "No one will find out what I discussed with you and your cute, little girlfriend."

She giggled when Eric's glare intensified, and skipped off without caring that Eric probably wrote down her name on his shitlist.

"Could you get me some water?" I asked, rolling my eyes when Eric turned his glare toward me, "I need water to take this."

Without saying anything Eric walked off to get me some water. I flashed him a smile when he walked back, handing me a cup of cold water. Taking the pill I tipped back the water and hopped off the bed, throwing the empty cups in the bin next to the bed.

"Where are you going?" Eric asked when I didn't walk toward the dorm.

"Joining my friends in the pit." I answered, turning around to face him, "They're celebrating their victory-"

"We went over this, Rose. If you want to pass initiation I suggest you head to the dorm and catch some sleep."

I shifted uncomfortably, wrapping my arms around me, "I don't want to be in the dorm on my own."

"Why not?"

I forgot Eric was the one who tightened security around the dorm for my safety since people trashed my stuff after Logan got cut. When I was convinced Eric didn't care he showed me he actually did. It was so confusing and his behavior definitely gave me whiplash.

"I think Logan's groupies are suspecting something and I have a feeling they're planning something. I just don't want to be on my own in that dorm."

I stepped back and caught the keys Eric threw at me, "I have to report to Max about tonight, make yourself comfortable." He stepped closer to me, lowering his voice as he continued, "You need to be gone before seven tomorrow."

Without waiting for my response Eric turned on his heels and left the scene. He gave me yet another reason to think that he actually cared about me. Actions spoke louder than words, it was something which was chanted in Dauntless. Yet I would actually like it a lot more if Eric told me he cared about me and didn't want me to get cozy with Four. It would make me feel better about this thing between us. Right now though, all I had were bruises on my hips because he fucked me against a wall in an abounded building and him tossing me his keys because I told him I didn't feel safe in the dorm.


	9. Breaking Braden

**Chapter nine – Breaking Braden**

* * *

Waking up rather abruptly because a glaring blonde Dauntless leader just practically shoved you off the bed is definitely not a good way to wake up in the morning. Trying to adjust my eyes to the lighting and trying to comprehend was going on made me a bit slow, at least I think Eric thought I was slow because he grabbed onto my wrist and yanked me off the bed which I almost fell off of.

"Eric what the-"

I couldn't speak because he covered my mouth with his hand.

"Your mom is in the other room." He whispered to me, "Training starts in an hour so you need to get ready while I'll try to think of an excuse to rush your mom out of here."

I managed to push him off me and wrapped my arms around myself as I tried to put up a good suspicious face.

"It's very disturbing how often my mom visits you in your apartment. Can't you two just meet in your office?"

"It's very disturbing where you're going with this." He countered back, "We're comfortable enough around each other to work outside the office, Rose." I didn't like the smirk that spread across his face, "You have a few more minutes before you have to leave, so I suggest you make use of that time and try to get a shower." He turned around and left the bedroom in the same rush as he entered it I presume.

I wouldn't eavesdrop on their conversation today, honestly I was still half asleep to do anything else than to hop in the shower and enjoy the warm water.  
Stepping into the bathroom I closed the door behind me and was surprised to see that Eric kept the toothbrush I used a few days ago. This thing between us was more than just something sexual even if Eric didn't want to admit it, I knew it was. If I was just a girl who he could hook-up with he wouldn't have kept my toothbrush. At least I assume Eric is that type of guy.  
Brushing my teeth I rinsed my mouth and hopped into the shower. If this was going to become a habit I really needed some of my clothes in here because I couldn't keep leaving in Eric's clothes.  
After taking my shower I wrapped a towel around my body and peeked inside Eric's bedroom to make sure no one was around. I didn't think my mother was the type of person who'd hang out in Eric's bedroom, but you could never be too sure about anything. I never would have thought she was the type of person who regularly hung out with Eric in his living room, but she did.  
Opening Eric's closet I grabbed a pair of his boxers and slipped it on, letting the towel drop on the floor. Searching through his shirts I opted for a worn looking black t-shirt, knowing he wouldn't miss it. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt fingers brush against my side, slowly moving up toward my breast.

"I thought you were leaving." I whispered, trying to hide the fact how excited he got me with a single touch.

A gasp left my lips when Eric cupped my breast and pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth, "I couldn't leave like that." He breathed.

Spinning around fast so he wouldn't have seen it coming I grabbed onto the front of his vest and pulled him closer, brushing my lips against his. I wanted to pull back thinking Eric would push me away for suddenly kissing him like that, but he grabbed onto my waist and pulled me back in. He deepened the kiss, leaving me breathless when he did pull away.

"Stop stealing my clothes." He muttered as he headed to the door.

"Fine, then I'll just leave your apartment half naked." I tossed back, causing him to snort.

"You wouldn't have the guts to do that." He stopped in front of the door and glanced over his shoulder to meet my gaze, "Next time bring an extra set of clothing with you."

He was the one who wouldn't allow me to spend time with my friends in the pit. So basically it was his own fault that I was stealing his clothes. There was no time to grab an extra set of clothing. As I thought about it I realized what Eric just said. He probably would never say it out loud, but he was getting used to having me around. He just said that I needed to bring an extra set of clothing with me the next time I spend a night at his apartment. Smiling I grabbed the t-shirt I had set my eyes on and slipped it on. Placing my dirty clothes in Eric's hamper, I sat down on the edge of the bed and slipped my boots on. Technically I was about to leave Eric's apartment half naked, so I did have the guts to do that. Sneaking out of Eric's apartment I quietly made my way down the hall, glancing behind me I sighed in relief when I yet again managed to leave without getting caught. At least that's what I thought because I bumped straight into a brick wall.

"Dammit." I whispered, rubbing my head and looking up to see who I bumped into.

My mouth felt dry and my heart was beating in my ears as I locked eyes with Max. The older Dauntless leader had a knowing look in his eyes. I thought he'd be pissed with me, but the amused look on his face caught me off guard. He wasn't pissed at all. That only confused me more.

"Sneaking off somewhere?"

I gulped, trying to find my voice again.

"Heading back to the dorm."

He stepped aside, "Well, don't let me hold you up then."

He wasn't going to address the elephant in the room? Somehow I doubted Max would just keep quiet about this. If he was going to confront Eric about this I was probably off the hook. I was okay with that, at least I didn't have to deal with Max then.

"Sorry about earlier." I mentioned to the head bump, "I wasn't paying attention-"

"It's fine, I'm used to it by now."

I guess this was a regular thing now. I always seemed to bump right into Max at the wrong time. Not wanting to spend a second longer with the older Dauntless leader while I was dressed in Eric's clothing I quickly walked off.  
Reaching the dorm I cursed silently once more when the door suddenly opened, almost slamming into my face.

"Sneaking into the dorm again?" May asked, not bothering to keep her voice down.

"You keeping tabs on me?" I ask, stepping back so she could walk out.

"You're not too subtle when you sneak into the dorm wearing-" She gestured to my outfit, "That."

I knew there was no hiding the fact that I was seeing someone. All I needed to do was make sure they wouldn't guess it was Eric who I was seeing.

"Well I'm not in a relationship so I can sneak off to whoever I want."

That made May smile and drop the hostile act, "That's true." She finally lowered her voice, "I didn't mean to sound like a such a bitch." She whispered, "Lately you're just acting so differently and I know that you don't like the people I hang out with-"

"You can hang out with whoever you want." I tell her directly, "I just don't appreciate it when your new friends trash my things. Clothes are not free here, May."

She nodded, actually looking like she felt guilty for that. Good, because I was sure Eric wouldn't be so generous a second time. Cleaning the training room for a week was nothing. I didn't even do that much which Four and Eric both knew.

"So who are you seeing?"

We weren't that close anymore for her to ask me about the guy I was seeing.

"It's nothing serious." I shrugged, "We'll see where it's heading."

She nodded, grabbing onto her MP3 player, "I'm going for a quick run before the fights."

This morning was way too eventful for my liking, I'd be dead by the end of training if every morning was going to be like this one.  
Pushing through the door I entered the dorm and dropped onto my bed, needing a minute to catch my breath. My peaceful moment wouldn't last long though, I noticed Damon coming my way and groaned when he forcefully sat down on my bed as well, making it creak loudly.

"Damn girl, someone had an interesting night." He teased, "Didn't think Four was the kind of guy who'd let a girl leave in just a t-shirt."

Four? Were they too wasted to remember that I didn't join their little celebration last night? I knew I should clear things up, but I didn't know what else to say. If I persisted on not meeting Four they'd question me about who I did meet and that was information I couldn't share with anyone. Except Max apparently since he now knew.

"Nothing happened."

He looked at me as if I lost my damn mind.

"So why are you wearing only a shirt then?"

I glanced down at my outfit, "Because I like to be comfortable when I sleep."

"You just slept?" He asked, not sounding convinced at all.

"I just slept." I confirmed, "Four is not the type of guy to sleep with a random chick and let her walk the walk of shame. Everyone knows that."

Thank god for Four's modest dating past, because the way he treated girls made people see him as a gentleman. Not the type of guy who would pick up a random girl from the bar and hook-up with her. I think in all my Dauntless years I never even saw Four together with a girl before. Did he even date? Only Zeke and Michael would know.

"He is the type of guy you marry and have babies with." Xenia was wearing only a towel as she joined our conversation, "I don't recall the two of you leaving the pit together."

Four would cover for me, I knew he would. I just feared what Eric would do if he heard the rumors spread about me and Four.

"We met at his apartment. I wanted to grab a quick shower after capture the flag." I shrugged.

Xenia managed to slip her underwear on without flashing anyone and simply dropped her towel when she was wearing her underwear. She started to roam through her bag to find the clothes she wanted to wear today, reminding me I had to get dressed too.  
Getting to my feet I grabbed onto my bag and started roaming through it for a clean pair of underwear and my exercise gear.

Xenia sat down on her bed as she tried to worm her way into her tight yoga pants, "You and Four met at his apartment?" She questioned, "And you just slept? You seriously telling me nothing happened even though you're dressed like that?"

Could the questions stop already? I knew the answer to that though. It wouldn't stop till they knew the truth and even though I wanted to share the truth with my friends I couldn't. I hadn't discussed any of this with Eric and I feared that if I said the wrong thing he'd be so furious. So even though I would probably get Four in trouble with Eric I had to stick with the lie.

"I thought we agreed that Four is not the type of guy who messes around with a random chick?" I asked, sliding Eric's boxers down my legs and slipping my lace panties on. The black t-shirt was long enough to hide everything so I was safe.

"But you're not just a random chick to him." Xenia was fully dressed, slipping her sneakers on.

"That's true." Damon butted in, "You had your tongue down his throat once."

I managed to put my bra on under my black t-shirt which made Xenia throw me a proud smile and started to slip into my exercise gear. Sitting back down on my bed once I was dressed properly.

"Guys, seriously, that kiss was so harmless." Sighing I grabbed onto Damon's shirt and pulled him toward me pressing my lips firmly against his and pulled away, "See? It was just like that. Only our lips touching and nothing more. Don't start making things up that aren't there please."

Damon was shocked, his jaw almost touching the ground while Xenia just grinned.

"Even though I really enjoyed seeing that according to my sources that kiss wasn't that harmless at all." She looked at Damon, "You okay there buddy? Did she just rock your world too?"

Damon snapped out of his trance making me regret that I just kissed him. I definitely did not want Damon to feel anything from that kiss. Why couldn't people tell the difference between a kiss and a fucking awesome kiss which made your toe curls and take your breath away? There was a distinct difference!

"No!" His response was too quick and loud which made Xenia and I share a look, "I just didn't expect that to happen." He got up and pointed at me, "Don't just go kissing people without giving them heads up!"

Then he was gone and I knew I screwed up again. I only kissed him to make a point, but that point was definitely not made.

"Damn it." I whispered which Xenia agreed with.

"I definitely need to know if you are that good of a kisser. I mean girl, every boy you kiss starts acting like a complete moron." She got up and leaned toward me.

I pushed her away, ignoring her giggle, "I think I kissed enough people today."

"You going to tell Four that when he takes you to his bed?" She asked, making me roll my eyes.

"Let's just have breakfast, okay?" I headed to the door, ignoring Xenia's laughter behind me.

I screwed up with Damon and I definitely screwed up with using Four as a distraction. I knew people wouldn't make a big deal out of me being with Four since he wasn't my trainer and he was not a Dauntless leader. Eric was a different story. He made the final call concerning the rankings, if people found out about us people would definitely judge. I just knew that Eric would mind. He wouldn't like the fact that people would talk about me and Four even if he knew it wasn't true. He would still mind.

"There the two of you are." Michael greeted as we sat down at their table, "Tomorrow is visiting day for the transfers, you know what that means right?"

"We get to sleep at home tonight." I whispered, "I forgot about that."

"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Michael asked confused, "You finally get to sleep in a normal room again with a normal fucking bed."

Xenia wrapped her arm around my shoulders, "This girl has been sleeping in a normal fucking bed."

Michael frowned, "What does that mean?"

"It means that this girl has been sneaking off to spend the night with Four a few times now-"

Michael turned to the guy who came at the wrong time, putting his tray down to have breakfast, "You're letting the girl spend the night with you?" He asked, making Four raise an eyebrow at him.

"What?" He asked, focusing on his breakfast instead of the situation which he should have done.

Xenia grinned, "Oh don't deny it." Her tone made Four finally look up, "We all saw the way the two of you got cozy on the night of capture the flag then this girl shows up wearing nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of boxers which says it all, doesn't it?"

Four met my gaze, thankfully his face gave nothing away. He must have seen the warning in my eyes because he shrugged a shoulder and focused back on his breakfast.

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

That was true, but when I said it no one listened. When Four said it everyone shut up. I wanted to have the super power to make people stop asking questions I couldn't answer.  
We ate our breakfast while Xenia gave Michael a detailed description about what happened during capture the flag. She was still pretty pumped about their victory, yet both team captains didn't really seem to care rather they won or not.

"You could act more excited than that." Xenia told Four, "I mean we beat Eric."

He still gave nothing away, "Capture the flag isn't a game to celebrate the fact you can beat a Dauntless leader and shove it in his face. You do realize you got graded for your performance, right?"

We all got up, surprised to see Braden standing by our table looking confused by Four's answer.

"We got graded?" He asked confused.

"Yes."

Four grabbed his tray and was about to walk away, but something about Braden must have worried him because he stopped mid track and stared at the boy who tried to glare holes into me.

"If that's so you should get points subtracted off your ranking."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." He said firmly, "Your job was to track down Damon and Four to take them out yet you and Eric were missing the entire time. If anything we lost because of the lack of participation from our team captain and you."

I felt Eric entering the room before I saw him. He had a perfect timing because I had no intention of explaining myself to Braden or anyone else for that matter. I would try and imitate Four's behavior.

"Take it up with Eric." I suggested, "He is right there." I pointed to the blonde who was talking to Max and Wes looking quite content this morning.

Braden looked shocked for a minute before he realized he actually showed us he was anxious about confronting Eric. Eric humiliated Logan in front of everyone I was sure Braden never forgot about that. No one would. I hated to admit it but he was a brave man for trying to confront Eric while he was together with two Dauntless leaders.

"He is actually going to do it?" Xenia whispered to me when Braden stepped to Eric.

I knew we should get going before Braden dragged us down with him. Meeting Four's gaze I could tell he thought the same thing.

"We shouldn't linger." I whispered to Xenia, "We don't need Braden to drag us down with him."

We all dumped our trash and quickly left the dining hall. Michael headed to the control room while Xenia walked in front of Four and me, heading straight for the training room.

Four brushed his hand against mine, trying to catch my attention, "I think we should have a talk soon." He whispered to me, making sure Xenia didn't catch us.

I nodded. I knew I had to explain everything to Four since I did just use him to cover up my inappropriate relationship with Eric. He knew. He might have suspected things in the beginning but a minute ago Braden confirmed every assumption Four had about me and Eric. So we definitely needed to talk.

"My apartment after dinner." With that he walked past me and entered the training room.

I watched Eric join his eager looking transfer group at his side of the training room while I joined my friends at the Dauntless born side. Lauren was tapping things on her tablet and glanced at the door, looking rather impatient. Most of the initiates were already present except for Braden and Eric. I doubted she was waiting for Braden so Eric keeping her waiting was not something she liked. I wondered if she'd confront him about it. If she did he might just eat her alive since Braden probably pissed him off already.

Bursting into the room Eric headed straight for the mat and pointed to me, "Rose in the ring." He ignored Lauren who was about to say something and pointed to Braden, "You, in the ring."

"Eric-" Lauren shut her mouth when Eric threw her one deadly looking glare.

Eric didn't say anything to explain his decision, but when I met his gaze I knew why he asked us to move to the ring. Braden had pissed him off and he wanted me to beat the crap out of him. If I didn't win this fight it would also show that Eric didn't favor me in any way. You wouldn't let the girl you supposedly favored get beat to a bloody pulp. Either way would work for Eric, just not for me though. This fight would be messy and I didn't do messy fights.

"You know the rules." Lauren said, trying to get control of the situation again, "You fight till one of you can no longer continue."

She stood beside Eric handing him her tablet, I'm guessing the matches she selected were on there. That's why she was so pissed when Eric pulled rank. This was her training room yet Eric took control most of the times. I'm sure Four didn't had it easy either. The advantage he had was that he could deal with Eric's mood swings.

"I'd like today's training to end before dinner so I suggest the two of you get moving." Eric called, sounding as impatient as ever.

We took our fighting position, I made sure to observe Braden closely to watch for sudden movements. When I noticed his feet moving forward I quickly evaded his first punch, throwing all my weight into punching his side which made him tumble over. Quickly sweeping him off his feet he fell hard on his back, blinking a few times as he tried to get his concentration back. I knew I could have ended it quickly he was motionless on his back after all, but my feet just wouldn't move. I could hear Eric's impatient sigh behind me, that didn't make me move either though.  
As I kept my distance from Braden he had time to recover, I could tell by his shaky breath that he was in pain. I didn't punch him lightly, I'm sure he had a massive bruise on his side now which must hurt like hell. I couldn't gloat about it though, not when he looked at me with murder in his eyes. I know exactly what Eric was thinking right now, 'I should have finished it when I had the chance'. It's not like I didn't try, I just didn't have it in me to beat someone to death. I think that yet again confirmed that I wasn't Dauntless.

"Finish her Braden!"

I'm pretty sure that was May who called that, I had no idea what her intentions were anymore. She had been nice to me this morning, now she wanted Braden to beat me to a bloody pulp. That's real friendship right there.

"Rose!" I knew that voice, "You got this. You know how to win this fight, don't hold back!"

If I glanced over my shoulder I would see Damon grin at me. I thought I lost a friend because of my screw up this morning, but he was right there, supporting me. Telling me I could win this and I knew I could. I could have won my fight against Damon, but I held back. Damon was my friend though, Braden wasn't. He wanted to screw me over by complaining to Dauntless leadership. This was my chance to show him he couldn't mess with me.

"I take it leadership didn't take your complaint that well."

The disgusted look Braden made only made me grin wider.

"Shut the fuck up."

He was in a pissy mood, I didn't care though. I was pretty pissed too considering my ex best friend had two faces. I let my guard down and she once again stabbed me in the back. That would definitely not happen again.  
When he charged at me I grabbed onto his wrist and twisted it around his back, he struggled against it which almost made him break free, but I kicked his knees making him fall forward. Pressing my foot on the small of his back I used all the force I had to twist his arm so hard I could hear the bones crack.

"Rose that's enough!" Lauren yelled.

I glanced at her, "The fight isn't over." I told her firmly which she didn't take well, "It's over till only one of us can continue."

She turned to Eric who was of no help. When I met his gaze he smirked at me, I definitely did what he wanted me to do. I didn't do it for him though. This guy seriously pissed me off and breaking his arm would definitely make an example, maybe they'd stop messing around with me.

"No more fucking around, Braden. If you tell me you get me I'll let you go."

"Fuck you, Rose!"

I pushed my feet harder into the small of his back, using more force to pull his arm. Just one more hard pull and it would probably dislocate his shoulder. The screaming he did told me I was close.

"One last chance, Braden."

I gave a soft tuck to let him know I wasn't kidding around.

"Eric!" Lauren called, "You can't let this continue."

Eric didn't respond though, he ignored Lauren just like the rest of us. The tension in the room was intense, the only sound that could be heard was the screams of pain that came from Braden and Lauren's occasional yell of disapproval. The rest of the initiates were so quiet I thought they probably stopped breathing as well.

"Braden." I warned him.

"Fine." He said through gritted teeth, sounding like he just ran a marathon, "I get you."

Releasing his arm he quickly held onto his shoulder, groaning in pain as he tried to get back to his feet. Clenching my fist I punched him right in the face, ignoring the stinging pain I felt by hitting his brick wall of a face. He fell flat on his back, making me the winner of this fight. I didn't care about that though, as I glanced at Logan's groupies I could tell the message came across. That was why I did this. Hopping off the ring I heard Eric call me the winner while he ordered the groupies to take Braden to the infirmary.

"Remind me that I never make fun of you again." Xenia whispered, sounding out of breath as well.

Was I right about everyone holding their breath? The rest of the fights continued and ten minutes before dinner we were released by Eric. He walked beside me as we exited the training room.

"I'm glad the message finally came across."

I glanced at him, "I only did that to protect myself. Now Lauren hates my fucking guts."

"Don't worry about her, I'll deal with her."

"She might obey you because you're a Dauntless leader she can still make my life a living hell." I clenched my jaw when Eric grabbed roughly onto my arm and dragged me into a dark hallway, away from the rest.

"Stage one is almost over, you only have three more days to deal with her."

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, fully aware that this made Eric's eyes shift to my breasts.

"What about stage two and three?"

"You only get to deal with Four during stage two."

"Okay, stage three then?"

I stepped back when I saw Eric's lips curled up to a smirk. He stepped forward, making me step back once again. This time my back hit the brick wall though. Eric raised his arms and placed his palms flat against the wall on each side of my head, effectively caging me in.

"You think I'm not onto you?" He asked, the roughness of his voice doing crazy things to me, "I know you're trying to get more information about stage two and three." He pressed his body firmly against mine, "I think I need a little convincing, Rose." He pushed his hips against mine, making a moan leave my lips.

I pressed my palms against his firm chest, trying to push him off me.

"Eric!" I hissed, trying to ignore how good it felt to have him pressed up against me, "Someone will see." I warned him.

He started moving his hips against mine, making the friction almost unbearable. I could feel his erection press against me and for a second I forgot we were in a hallway, grinding against each other. Me being a fucking bitch to Braden and the groupies turned Eric on. That should have worried me, yet the upcoming orgasm made me a blabbering idiot. Instead of pushing him away I grabbed onto his shoulders, moving my hips as well. I felt the wetness between my thighs increasing and my core tightening. I was so close and all I needed was for Eric to grind against me. Whatever was going on between us was going too far. I was dry humping a Dauntless leader in a freaking dark hallway. There were no words for how wrong this was.

"I have plans tonight." I whispered when Eric lowered his lips and pressed them against my neck.

I closed my eyes when I felt his teeth bite into my skin, "I know."

"So we need to stop."

His hands moved down my body, grabbing onto my hips in that firm way I liked.

"You don't want me to stop." He kissed the corner of my mouth, "You're almost there."

He was right, I was almost there. I knew he could tell by the way I moved my hips against his. I pressed my lips together when my orgasm washed over me, trying to keep from making a sound. When I found my brain again I opened my eyes to stare directly into Eric's stormy grey eyes.

"How do you know about my plans?" I asked, fearing he knew about my meet up with Four.

"Your mom invited me over for dinner tomorrow." He grinned at me when my jaw practically hit the ground, "This is the night you initiates get to sleep at home again."

He thought I had plans at home, which was good. Maybe he wouldn't find out about Four. I needed to move and grab a quick dinner, but my body just wouldn't move. I felt limp because of the intense orgasm I just had. Eric wasn't letting go of me either because he probably knew I'd slide onto the floor.

"So you're coming over for dinner tomorrow?" I asked, trying to find my footing again.

Eric released me once he thought it was safe, "Things will get interesting, won't they?" The evil grin that spread across his face made me worry.

Tomorrow night would be anything but fun. How the fuck could I hide my relationship with Eric in front of my parents when he clearly had plans to make my life miserable?


	10. More than Lust

**Chapter ten – More than Lust.**

* * *

I think that night when I lost my virginity to Logan wasn't half as uncomfortable as this night. Eric was sitting next to me at the dining table while my parents said across from us. They had no idea what was going on underneath the table, just enjoying a nice conversation over dinner.  
I tried to push Eric's hand off my thigh, but he managed to keep a strong hold on me while he managed to entertain both my parents about upcoming events in Dauntless. That hand on my thigh though it was trying to itch closer and closer to my private part, making me shift on my seat as I tried to get his hand off me.

"The banquet is in two weeks." Eric told my mom.

"So initiation is almost over. You must be excited about that Rose." My mom said, smiling gently at me.

My dad frowned whenever they called me Rose, the new name I had chosen for myself. Bellrose was an Amity name and even though Rose wasn't exactly Dauntless either it sounded better to me. I might have lost my mind when I chose the name Eric called me. Before initiation started my nickname almost had been Bell. Eric had been the only one calling me Rose. I liked the way it sounded when it rolled of his tongue though. Now I was forever known as Rose and my dad hated it.

"Can't wait till it's over." I told her, trying to even out my breathing.

"The hardest part of initiation starts now though." Eric reminded me, making me jump when I felt his fingers brush against me.

"Don't remind me." I sighed, "The fights aren't even over yet."

Eric was playing dirty so I wouldn't try and be nice anymore. I grabbed onto his wrist like I tried to a minute ago and dug my nails in, if it hurt he didn't show it though. He kept an impassive face as he enjoyed the dessert my mom made.

"Just two more days." He sounded perfectly fine, not struggling at all unlike me, "You did great yesterday."

"Really?" My mom asked surprised, "You won your first fight?"

"She did great." Eric told her, glancing at my face, "You won a fight against someone who was better skilled in combat, thought you might share something like that with your parents."

"Might have slipped my mind."

I bit my lip when I felt Eric squeeze my thigh tightly, not liking my answer since he knew I was lying. He always knew when I was lying.

"You were home late so you probably forgot." Anna shrugged, "Want another beer, Eric?" She asked, getting off her seat to collect our empty plates.

"Yeah, thanks." He gave my thigh another painful squeeze before he released me, "You celebrated with your friends in the pit?" He asked, casually.

The way he asked made it look like he actually didn't care since he focused on the beer bottle my mom handed him and the way he tipped it back. If anything it looked like he was trying to make light conversation with me just to please my parents. He wasn't though. The look he gave me told me he actually wanted to know why I was home late. I couldn't tell him, but if he found out on his own he'd be so pissed I was sure both Four and I wouldn't survive his wrath.

"We celebrated at Four's place."

I didn't dare to look at my parents because both of them weren't aware I was friends with Four and Michael. This would probably come as a surprise to them.

"The Stiff had a party at his place?" Eric asked, making me frown at his insult toward Four.

* * *

" _You can't let Eric find out you were here." Four told me when I was about to leave his apartment._

" _He'll find out, Four." I spun around to face him, "He gets paranoid when it comes to me. If I lie to him about where I was and he does find out things will get real ugly."_

" _Fine say whatever you have to say, just don't let him know you were here to talk." He stepped closer to me, "You don't know the half of what Eric could do if he does find out about what we discussed."_

" _I can say whatever I want to make him back off?"_

 _Four nodded, leaning closer to me, "Even if you have to lie about spending the night."_

 _Now he was just teasing me. Pushing him slightly back I leaned back against his closed door._

" _I couldn't tell the others I spend the night at Eric's, they wouldn't understand."_

 _Four snorted, "And I would?" He asked, "You think too highly of me."_

" _I knew you'd cover for me." I tilted my head back to meet his gaze, "And you did."_

 _Four closed the distance between us and reached behind me, taking a hold of the door knob, "Say whatever you have to Rose, I've got your back." With that he opened the door and let me out, "Go spend some time with the family. Michael and Zeke are coming over in a few."_

* * *

"Zeke probably made him." I shrugged, trying to sound casual about it, "And Four isn't a Stiff anymore Eric. Like how you aren't a Nose anymore."

My comment made the whole room tense up. I knew my mom was glaring at me and when I met my dad's gaze all I saw was pride. So he didn't quite mind that I just talked back at Eric, he actually liked it. My mom though she was a different story. Right now I bet she wished I wasn't her daughter for just openly saying those things to Eric.

"And now I understand why you always get in trouble." I heard my mom say, breaking my staring match with Eric, "You can't just say everything that comes to mind Rose. One day your words won't be taking so lightly."

"I think it's good our daughter is honest with her words. We don't believe that silence is useful nor do we believe in good manners." My dad just quoted parts of the Dauntless manifesto.

The grin that spread across Eric's face was anything but kind.

"You're right John." Eric tossed back his drink and placed his bottle back on the table, "We also believe that bold words should match bold deeds." He stood up and thanked my parents for their hospitality, "I walk you back to the dorm, Rose."

I was in trouble and we all knew it. Getting to my feet I said my goodbyes to my parents and followed Eric out of the apartment. He walked beside me, his hand occasionally brushing against mine. I figured he'd be preaching to me already so him keeping quiet made me wonder what he was planning. We were reaching the dorm and all this time he didn't say anything. I thought I was safe until Zeke headed our way. Just seeing him made me anxious because I used him as an excuse for me being at Four's apartment. If he said anything about that party and me not being there Eric would figure everything out in a heartbeat. He was after all still a Nose in Dauntless clothing.

"Rose!" Zeke said in a cheerful greeting and nodded at Eric, "Eric." He didn't sound so excited when he said Eric's name.

Thankfully he passed us not mentioning Four or the party they had at his apartment. Eric placed his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from entering the dorm.

"So Max brought up something interesting the other day."

I knew exactly what he was talking about. The amusement in Max's eyes told me he wouldn't just let it pass by.

"Aren't you glad that I didn't leave your apartment half naked?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood between us. But most importantly trying to change the subject.

"You were half naked."

"No I was clearly wearing a shirt and a pair of boxers, that doesn't clarify as half naked."

He folded his hands behind his back, standing so straight it made him look even taller than he normally was. I remember seeing him pace the training room like this, intimidating the patrol soldiers who were training inside when it was raining outside. I only saw glances of him, but this stance was very effective. I didn't dare to breathe as he narrowed his stormy eyes on me.

"When you're wandering the halls of Dauntless I suggest you dress appropriately."

This was a moment which I should have kept my mouth shut, but I couldn't help myself around Eric. I never could. I think that I rather liked stepping on his toes.

"I've seen people were less clothing than I had. I don't understand the big deal about my outfit and we went over this before I didn't have anything else at the time."

The way he clenched his jaw told me didn't like where this conversation was going. He knew I was right, I had nothing else to wear at the time. If he was embarrassed about Max finding out he had no idea how I felt at that time. I was the one who ran into the older Dauntless leader only wearing a shirt and a pair of boxers.

"Don't let it happen again."

Tired of still getting the blame for something we couldn't have avoided, I spun around on my heels and reached for the doorknob.

"Fine, it won't happen again." With that I entered the dorm quickly and let the door fall closed behind me.

Most of the initiates were already there, getting ready for bed. I sat down on my bed and smiled at Xenia who was sitting on hers while reading something on her tablet. She looked up from it and smiled back at me.

"Sleeping in my own bed had been amazing, Rose." She sounded like she was high, making me grin winder.

"Sounds like you enjoyed yourself."

She sat up right, "Oh I did, we had dinner with the whole family and my mom asked me to invite the boyfriend over. It was hilarious to see Michael and Nate interact with each other. They behaved like they just met, being all awkward. I wish you could have been there."

"You love to see your brother struggle way too much." I snorted.

She turned her tablet off and tossed in front of her. Her curious gaze never leaving mine.

"Heard you a pretty good time yourself."

I kicked off my boots and tried to get comfortable on my bed as well, "What do you mean?"

"Michael said he saw you leaving Four's apartment the other night, the two of you looking quite comfortable with each other."

I had no idea Michael was there already, I had not seen him when I left Four's apartment.

"Four and I had a talk." I tried to sound as calm as possible about it, pretending it was no big deal.

It was a big deal though, what I discussed with Four that night would forever remain between us. He knew what I was and he admitted that he was the same. He also told me he could help me, I didn't know how, but he said I'll find out soon enough. We also discussed what we would do about Eric and my mom's project. They were up to no good, we both agreed to that. We had to find out what Erudite was planning and in what aspect Dauntless was helping them. We knew Eric had the authority to eliminate Divergents, but that was about it.

"We don't have to push you two to start dating. I think you two are doing fine without any help."

"We're fine." I said, being impressed and disgusted at the same time at how I became a talented liar after sneaking around with Eric.

We took a shower one at a time to give each other cover and headed to bed. Tomorrow was yet another day filled with brutal fights so everyone needed their rest.

* * *

Xenia and I joined Four, Michael and Nate for breakfast. Nate never ate breakfast with us before because he usually had a late shift so he slept in during our breakfast date with friends. It was odd to see Xenia and Nate sitting next to each other with her brother right there beside her as well. Four and I sat across these three, observing their interaction.

"So I heard we missed an epic family dinner last night." I casually stated, wanting for once to shift the attention to Xenia.

Both Xenia and Nate shared a look, trying hard not to burst into laughter while Michael just glared at me.

"It was fabulous." Michael muttered.

The look Michael gave Xenia made me envy her. The way his eyes softened and the way he smiled at her, I could tell that this guy adored her. He looked at her as if she was his world. The look he gave her didn't even come close to the look Eric usually gave me. Sure, he wanted me. There was no denying that, he could barely keep his hands to himself when we were together. But that was all there was to it. I don't think the sneaking around and the lying was worth it. Not when I see Nate and Xenia sitting across me looking at each other like they're the only two people in the world. I wanted that.

"You okay?" Four asked me, bumping his leg against mine to get my attention.

Looking away from the couple I meet his gaze, "I'm fine."

"Usually when people say that they're not fine."

He was right, I wasn't fine right now. Right now I just needed a minute to myself to collect my thoughts and try to stop myself from freaking out about everything that is happening in my life. But I also knew that if I did walk away from this table I'd pretend that everything was perfectly fine while deep inside I knew I wasn't. I could lie to everyone else about what I wanted, but I couldn't lie to myself.

"I'll be fine." I told Four, reaching for my drink to tip back the water.

The fights were brutal just like I thought they would be. I had been paired up against Laura, the girl I won against when we were practicing the fights. It wasn't any different now, I won, but unlike my fight against Braden I wasn't rough nor merciless. It was a clean fight much to Lauren's pleasure. After the fights Eric showed us the new rankings on the screen. Number four didn't sound too bad. The problem was that my friends were having a field day with my ranking.

"You're number four, how fitting." Xenia placed her arm around my shoulders.

Damon stood beside me looking at the rankings the same way Xenia was. Amused and thrilled at the same time.

"I guess you beating the crap out of Braden made him drop down, he barely made the cut."

"Lots of transfers will be leaving us." I whispered, seeing how many transfers were below the red line.

"Most of them never had a chance with us being ranked together." Xenia shrugged, "Stage two is starting in three days. So what are we going to do in our free time guys?"

I glanced at Xenia, "You really think they're going to give us free time, I bet we need to work our asses off again."

Damon agreed with me, "Tomorrow we'll have the party and of course Max's famous speech and then we'll probably have to help with unloading the supplies again."

There were no days off for initiates in Dauntless, they liked to keep us on our feet. I didn't mind unloading the trucks again though, it would give me time to get my shit together. Figure out what I wanted. I couldn't do that when Eric was hovering. I needed some space, I knew he wouldn't like that though.

"Let's grab dinner together guys." I say, not wanting to separate from my friends knowing that I usually got cornered whenever I was alone.

"Sounds like a good plan to me, I'm freaking starving." Xenia smiled.

We had dinner together like usual and when Michael suggested we grab a drink in the pit, I happily went along. I usually let them go ahead and then met up with Eric. Staying close to Michael, Zeke and Four would definitely help with avoiding Eric. When we were in the pit enjoying a drink Four easily caught on what I was doing. I think he mentioned something about Eric trying to catch my attention. I purposely tried to avoid glancing in his direction though. I knew he was also in the pit, enjoying a drink with Wes and Max. I forced myself to stay focused on what Zeke was telling us, because if I did look in Eric's direction I'd be lost. I'd follow him anywhere he wanted to take me. It wouldn't help with me trying to figure what I wanted. So ignoring Eric even though I really wanted him was what I was going to do.

"Care to tell me why you're suddenly so interested in Zeke's dating life?" Four whispered to me, him being so close to me I could actually feel his breath against my skin.

"Zeke is a very interesting person." I whispered back, tilting my head back to meet his gaze.

The playful glint in his eyes told me he saw right through me.

"Sure."

I leaned closer to him, pressed up against his side which made our friends all squeal and make embarrassing comments about us. I tuned them out though. At this point we were both used to their teasing.

"You know he'll be furious with you being so close to me, yet you're playing along anyway. What are trying to do?"

I inhaled sharply when I felt Four press his hand on my lower back and completely pressed me up against his body. This is what I wanted being close and comfortable with a guy in front of our friends. I could never have that with Eric. I knew he didn't like the people I hung out with and his friends were mostly Dauntless leaders which would make things really uncomfortable for me. It was yet another reason for me to start thinking about different options.

"Even though I like to irritate Eric I'm not being close to you just to piss him off." Four's lips brushed against my ear, making a shiver run down my spine.

I was about to ask Four where he was going with this when Xenia suddenly yanked me away from Four.

"Okay, that's enough cuddling for the two of you." She grinned, wrapping an arm around my waist to keep me close to her, "Even though I like seeing you two together we all like you two to pay more attention to us."

I raised an eyebrow at her, "What did we miss?"

Zeke grinned at me, "We'll Michael is getting us another round yet you didn't even start with your first drink yet and Four still didn't finish his drink yet." He nodded to the brown bottle Four was holding.

To do our friends a favor we started to pay attention to them and actually had a wonderful night in the pit. I successfully avoided Eric today with help of my friends. When I was in bed I couldn't help but to wonder what Four meant when he said he wasn't being close to me to irritate Eric.


	11. Accept It or Move On

**Thanks for leaving me a review, guys! I really appreciate it.**

 **Chapter Eleven – Accept It or Move On.**

* * *

Today we had the celebration of ending stage one successfully. I wasn't in the partying mood considering ten initiates left us, having to fend for themselves living as factionless. I couldn't imagine how horrible that would be, never to see your family and friends again. That wasn't even the worst of it.  
My mood was effecting the breakfast date as Xenia called it. Xenia and Nate weren't being all cute and starry eyed like they normally were and Four who sat beside me kept quiet, focusing on his food the entire time. It was definitely not the best morning we had so far.

"Do you know what you're going to wear tonight?" Xenia asked, trying to light the mood at the table.

"Nothing special." I shrugged, "Shouldn't we save our amazing dresses for the banquet in about two weeks from now?"

She snorted, "You should grab every opportunity you get to show off your fabulous body in a nice, jaw dropping dress."

That definitely lightened the mood at the table, I even heard a light chuckle coming from Four.

"I'm not sure if I want my girlfriend to wear a jaw dropping dress." Nate said teasingly, everything about his look told me he wasn't serious about that, "You should only wear such a dress for me, preferably in the bedroom."

I laughed when I heard Four choke on his water, "Guys, this conversation is getting too naughty. Four can't handle it."

Xenia pulled away from Nate, her look telling me she was up to no good.

"Don't worry Four, I'll make sure Rose wears jaw dropping lingerie underneath her dress so you can have fun unwrapping your little gift."

Now I was the one who couldn't handle this conversation. Getting to my feet I collected my tray and ignored the teasing from Nate and Xenia.

"I'm leaving now, this conversation is getting out of hand."

Four got to his feet as well, "I'll walk you out."

It was probably better if Four walked me out, it would help with my plan to avoid Eric. Bet he wasn't walking me out because he couldn't stand being away from me, he just needed some excuse to get away from Xenia and Nate.

"Now I understand why Michael can't stand being around them."

Four's lips twitched, "I doubt they're teasing Michael like that."

Yeah, I was pretty sure we were the lucky ones who got to deal with their teasing. Four walked me to the dorm when we were greeted with the sight of Eric standing right in front of the door. That would make my job of avoiding Eric a lot more difficult. I basically had to go through him if I wanted to enter the dorm. Annoyance, anger and concern flashed through his eyes as he look at me. He shifted his gaze quickly to Four though and stepped aside to let the initiates walk past. They were all geared up which confused me. I was pretty sure we had a day off today.

"What's going on?" Four asked.

That was what I liked to know as well.

"Max thought it was a great idea to make use of this day to introduce the initiates to the faction patrol teams. Since we're visiting Amity tomorrow we'll skip that one. Wes is taking a group to Candor, Trevor will take a group to Abnegation and I'll be taking a group to Erudite."

"The leaders are taking the initiates on this fieldtrip?" I asked confused.

That was the first time I had spoken to Eric after purposely avoiding him. I could tell it wasn't appreciated that I opened my mouth after I angered him with my behavior. I couldn't help it though, never before did three leaders leave the compound to entertain initiates.

"Yes. You need to head to the train tracks, we'll divide you into groups there."

"I didn't hear about this." Four said, placing a hand on my back which made me stop from moving.

"It was a last minute decision."

I could feel Eric's eyes burning holes into my head, I didn't dare to look up and meet them.

"I need to gear up." I looked at Four who finally dropped his hand, "See you in the pit tonight."

I walked past Eric, inhaling deeply when I felt his hand brush against mine. Damn it, even though I tried to convince myself I could stay away from him it was really hard to make my body understand that as well. It was used to Eric's touch. My stupid body betrayed me by heating up with such a simple touch. I quickened my pace and quickly reached for the bag under my bed which held my Dauntless uniform. Shrugging out of my comfy clothes and my boots I quickly slipped into the uniform and sat down on my bed to put my combat boots back on.

"Did you know about this?" I heard Xenia ask, sounding out of breath.

I guessed someone retrieved her from the dining hall and now she was rushing to get dressed, just like me.

"No, Eric just told Four that it was a last minute decision."

She snorted, "This is definitely very last minute."

"Which faction do you want to go to?"

I sat on the bed, waiting for Xenia to finish up, "Any faction is fine with me as long as I don't have to be on Eric's team."

She looked up from tying her boots, grinning at me, "Same here. Don't think we have a choice though, they'll probably pick the initiates they want in their group."

"Wes and Trevor don't know every initiate though, but if they do divide us up that way I rather have Wes pick me since he has a sense of humor."

"Right." Xenia agreed, "Trevor has no sense of humor whatsoever and Eric is just terrifying to be around. He is like a ticking bomb waiting to go off."

We rushed out of the dorm and headed to the train tracks just like Eric asked of us. The leaders were already there while the initiates were all quiet, waiting to be divided into groups.

"Why is Eric looking at you like he wants to choke you with his bare hands?"

"Don't know." I whispered, "Doesn't he look that way at everyone?"

She shrugged, "Thought he was okay with you considering he tossed Logan's ass out of Dauntless for you and he did pay for your new clothes after the Logan followers messed your stuff up."

"Maybe he is just pissed about travelling all day with a bunch of initiates who in his eyes are pathetic and don't belong in Dauntless."

Xenia snickered, "Sounds like typical Eric."

Eric's loud voice asked us to be quiet while he divided us up. Somehow I managed to be on Wes's team just like I wanted. The look Eric shot Wes when he called my name for being on Wes's team told me he didn't like it. The grin Wes shot Eric was even more terrifying. Wes knew. That was all I could think about. He knew about us and me being on his team was for one reason only, he wanted to get to know me. I thought Max was the only one who knew, but apparently I was wrong.

"The train is coming." Eric announced, "Everyone stay close to the leader you've been appointed to."

Everyone jumped on safely and stayed with their appointed leaders in separate compartments, Eric jumped off first since Erudite was closer to the city. I met his gaze when he turned to look over his shoulder, I could have sworn I saw confusion and hurt flash through his eyes, but the minute I thought I saw another side to Eric he turned away and jumped off. I had no idea what I saw, but it definitely made me feel guilty about the way I handled things.

"We're getting off next." Wes announced.

Wes sounded a lot less hostile than Eric, his face wasn't in a permanent scowl either. People easily got fooled by Wes being easygoing and more laidback. He could be as much as an asshole as Eric. He just didn't show it out in the open. I'm pretty sure I was one of the lucky people in the compound who'd see the asshole side of Wes.  
I jumped when I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders and glanced aside to see Damon grinning down at me.

"What has you so jumpy all off the sudden?"

Probably the fact that I just had a staring match with Wes, which he had won.

"Nothing." I breathed, trying to plaster a smile on my face.

"Excited about the party tonight?" He asked, taking my mind off Eric and Wes by bringing up the ending of stage one celebration.

"I'm terrified, actually." I admitted to him, "Xenia has plans for me, big plans which I'm probably not going to like."

He nodded, "Yeah, you can't blame them though. They're so excited about you and Four. Heard you're the first girl who Four has been seen hanging out with openly. So his best friends want to help him, push him in the right direction, you know."

"I know." I told him, "I'm afraid they're reading into things that aren't there though. It doesn't even matter what we say at this point, they already made up their minds about this."

I knew Damon knew what I meant with my vague answer. I couldn't openly say that I wasn't dating Four because I was using him to cover up my dirty affair with Eric. That was exactly what it was at this point though. Just the two of us banging. Four and I fooled our friends just because I was being selfish. Even though I didn't regret meeting Eric that day on the bridge it would have made initiation a lot easier for me if I hadn't met him and followed him back to his apartment to experience what real sex could be like. I could have done that with any other guy, but I chose him. I think that said enough about what I wanted, even if he couldn't give me more.

"It's not fair to give people hope about something that isn't going to happen." Damon told me, giving me a side hug before he released me, "I don't know what is going on, but I think you should be honest to the people you're close with, even if it terrifies you to do it. We're Dauntless, Rose, we face our problems head on no matter what the consequences are. If you're sitting back and formulating plans and overanalyzing things you should have chosen Erudite."

"We're getting off now." Wes announced, stepping aside so the first people in his group could jump out.

Damon jumped before me, when it was my turn to Jump Wes grabbed onto my arm and leaned in.

"Your little friend is right." He told me, releasing my arm so I could jump out.

I hesitated to make the jump, Wes just dropped a bomb on me. He knew everything that was going on between me and Eric.

"Any time now initiate." He grumbled impatiently.

Steading my feet I jumped out, glancing beside me to see Wes jumping out. He landed a few inches beside me, turning to the group to bark some more orders out.

* * *

The five of us followed after Wes, he walked with an air of confidence as he led us to the main entrance of Candor. Two patrol agents were waiting for us there, eying us like hawks. They were probably trying to see who of us would make initiation and who would leave after stage three. They were geared up, their uniforms looking even stiffer and uptight than ours. I could see a holster trapped on their thighs. They definitely meant business.

"These two men were kind enough to clear their schedule for today to teach you about their duties and show you what a patrol agent actually does. So don't fuck around they have the authority to kick your asses if you annoy them."

I think even if Wes didn't say that the five of us would keep our mouths shut and pay attention to them. Their faces already told us not to fuck around or they'd unleash hell upon us.

"Damon and Laura are with you." Wes told the dark haired agent with a piercing through his eyebrow, "We'll meet you back here in an hour."

"Mitch and West you're following Bryan here." Wes patted Bryan on the shoulder, grinning at the messy dark haired male who snorted in response.

I couldn't pay much attention to their friendly conversation. I was the only one left and Wes didn't hand me over to either patrol agent which made me want to run for the hills. If my instincts were right Wes would personally guide me. That meant I was royally fucked.

"See you in an hour, man." Wes chuckled, saluting Bryan who walked away with Mitch and West on his heels.

I gulped when Wes turned on his heels and faced me, a sinister smile spreading across his normally kind face. I was not prepared for this! I unintentionally stepped back when the older Dauntless leader approached me.

"Looks it's just you and me, Rose."

"I doubt that's a coincidence."

Wes's eyes lit up at hearing me say that, "Eric told me you had a brain on you."

I planted my feet firmly on the ground, not wanting to cower away just because Wes had planned to spend alone time with me to interrogate me about Eric. Maybe threaten me a bit. I promised myself I wouldn't tremble in my boots and face whatever he had in store for me. I could take it. If I could handle dealing with Eric, which I wasn't actually doing, I could also handle dealing with Wes.

"What do you want?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, "I want to teach you a thing or two about the duties of a patrol agent." He was playing games with me and I had no patience for that right now, "So follow me and I'll show you their quarters here."

I tensed when Wes placed his and on my back and pushed me forward, guiding me through Candor. I hated the amused look on his face, I hated the way he smiled knowingly at me and most of all I hated not knowing what Wes knew about me and Eric. He could know everything or he could know nothing and just pretended to know everything. I knew soldiers used that tactic to interrogate suspects. Bluffing to get some answers out of them. Was Wes bluffing right now to get some answers out of me concerning Eric's dating life.  
Wes showed me around Candor, telling me about the shifts, rules and authorities patrol agents had. The tour Wes gave me was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. He didn't mention Eric to me once and I didn't question it. We were heading back to the main entrance to meet up with the rest of the group when I noticed something blue heading our way in the corner of my eyes. Shifting my gaze from Wes to the people dressed in crisp blue clothes I knew instantly who was heading our way.

"And-" Wes stopped abruptly and looked as surprised as me to see Jeanine heading our way, "Jeanine. A pleasure to run into you here."

He didn't sound too happy about running into her though. When I looked at him I could tell that his smile didn't reach his eyes. Wes was definitely pretending to like Jeanine.

"Wes." She greeted, the icy cold look in her eyes nearly freezing me over.

I gulped when Jeanine shifted her gaze to me, scanning me from head to toe. I didn't know how I felt about Jeanine trying to analyze me. It felt like she could see right through me. If she could she'd know what I was and I'd be screwed. I unintentionally stepped closer to Wes who raised an eyebrow at me when my shoulder bumped against his arm.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Rose."

She knew who I was.

"Your mother mentioned you before." She explained.

"Nice to meet you too." I told her, staying right where I was.

She smiled, "Enjoy the rest of the field trip." With that the conversation was over.

I watched her leave, turning around to face Wes again. He folded his arms across his chest, the smug look on his face making me want to kick a Dauntless leader in his very sensitive place.

"Jeanine scares you."

"She doesn't." She actually does, but I didn't want Wes to know about it, "I just don't feel comfortable with those Erudite people always trying to analyze everyone."

"So is that why you're toying around with Eric?"

"Excuse me?"

He snorted, "You know exactly what I mean. You can't have both guys, Rose. You either go for Four or you go for Eric. Don't play around with the both of them."

"I'm not! And for the record it's none of your fucking business."

"Eric and Four never got along that well and you messing around with the both of them is only going to make that relationship worse. So I don't care who you choose, just fucking do it." Wes glanced at his watch, indicating that this conversation is over, "We're heading back to the entrance."

* * *

The trip back to the compound was horrible and not because Damon and Xenia were so excited about the party that they were jumping up and down. It was horrible because Wes made me realize that if I didn't talk to Eric soon he'd do something rash and stupid like trying to beat the crap out of Four. And I say trying because I heard the stories about Four beating Eric into the infirmary during their initiation year. It might be the reason why Eric was spending an awful lot of time in the training room. His pride was probably hurt when Four beat him to a bloody pulp.

"Are you coming or what?" Xenia asked when we were back in the compound, "Putting on a sexy dress and doing your make-up won't take five seconds you know."

"I'll meet up with you guys, I need to do something first."

I was glad they didn't question me and went on without me. I headed to Eric's office first, knowing the workaholic would probably still be doing paperwork or something very complicated on his computer. Knocking on his door I waited till he gave me permission to enter. I entered when he angrily told me to come in, closing the door behind me to stare at the man who was sitting behind his desk while typing away on his keyboard.

"Eric."

He looked away from his screen when he heard my voice, narrowing his stormy eyes on me.

"We need to talk." I told him, pressing my back against the door, trying to keep some distance between us.

"Do we now?" I've seen Eric angry before, but he never looked like that at me, "You think that after ignoring me and not having the decency to tell me what is going on you have the right to demand things of me?"

He wasn't yelling, his voice was barely above a whisper yet his words echoed loudly through my mind.

"I needed time to figure things out."

He just stared at me, not doing or saying anything. I could barely suppress the urge to turn around and run out of his office. I had to have this conversation though.

"I needed to figure out how I feel about this thing between us. What I want, you know."

I couldn't sound more like an idiot right now. He must be annoyed with how I stood there as a muttering fool, trying to explain things to him.

"And?"

Yeah, he was definitely annoyed right now. All my alarm bells went off in my head, telling me that this conversation wasn't going to end well. Not when Eric looked ready to rip me apart.

I frowned, "And what?"

He stood from his chair, "Have you figured out what you want?"

It didn't sound like he wanted to hear the answer. My breathing picked up when Eric walked around his desk and slowly closed in on me, standing right in front of me. His height towering over me didn't help with the nerves.

"I want more."

The words were out before I realized what I just admitted to Eric.

"You want more?" He asked, still sounding very calm which worried me.

I think this was the calm before the storm. I should have kept my mouth shut and stayed clear from him. Stupid Wes and his stupid opinions.

"Yes." I said, knowing I couldn't talk around the subject anymore, "I don't want to have quickies in dark hallways. I don't want to sneak into your apartment just to have sex. I don't want to keep us a secret anymore. I want to be able to kiss you and touch you whenever I feel like it. I want…I just want more than sex."

I stopped breathing when Eric pressed his hand against the door right next to my head, leaning in. He brushed his lips against mine, making me hope that he actually agreed with me. That it was time to change things in our relationship.

"I don't."

My heart beated painfully against my ribs, "W-What?"

" I don't want more than sex. So either you agree with that or it's time to move on."

What just happened?

"I don't understand."

"Is it really that hard to understand?" He asked, "All I want to do is fuck you. I don't want to hold hands and live happily ever after with you."

I was near tears and not because he just broke my heart into a million pieces. Pressing my palms against his chest I pushed him away from me.

"If that was all you wanted why would you make such a fuss about me and Four? What right do you have to get jealous all the time when all you want is a willing girl to spread her legs for you?"

The way his eyes darkened should have scared me, yet I was so angry at him for playing around with me that I couldn't think clearly. Wes gave me a hard time for playing around with Eric while all this time it was Eric who was playing a game.

"I don't want to fuck the same girl as Four."

"Your words don't match your deeds, Eric. You've been acting like a possessive boyfriend this whole time. I don't understand what the hell is wrong with you, but I'm glad we had this conversation." I turned around wanting to leave his office, but then remember why I came to find him in the first place, "And tell Wes to mind his own fucking business. I don't need your friends to harass me when I'm not the one who is being the asshole here."

I left his office as fast as possible, not wanting him to have the chance to yell at me or punish me for calling him an asshole. I dashed through the hallways heading straight for the dorm. I took a few deep breaths before I entered the dorm, not wanting anyone to see the tears in my eyes.

"Took you long enough!" Xenia called when I headed to my bed.

She frowned when I crawled under my sheets, pulling the covers over my head so I could tune everyone out.

"What the hell are you doing?" Xenia asked, trying to pull the sheets away from me, "We have a party to attend to!"

"I'm not going."

"What? Why?" I felt my bed shift so I knew she was sitting beside me right now.

"I just need to be alone. Please…please just leave me alone for now."

I think she heard my breathing hitch. I tried hard to stifle my sobs, but she caught on when I talked to her. I was grateful she didn't push me to talk. She left me alone just like I asked of her. After a few minutes the room fell quiet so I knew everyone left. I finally pulled the covers down, letting the tears fall without trying to fight them. It was a good thing finally knowing what this thing between me and Eric was, but knowing the truth didn't hurt less. Everything he did and said gave me hope. So when I made the decision to confront him I had thought the outcome would have been different. I was definitely wrong there.


	12. Painful Encounter

**Thank you for all the reviews!**

 **Chapter Twelve – Painful Encounter.**

* * *

According to Xenia I had missed an epic party. She wasn't catching on that I didn't care. While we followed Four to the train tracks she kept telling about all the crazy stuff people did in the pit. I got onto the train after her and leaned against the wall across the door, enjoying the breeze as I tried to ignore Xenia's stories about last night. I pressed myself more against the wall when Eric walked past us. I glanced at my feet when I felt his eyes linger on me. I looked at Xenia when she nudged my side with her elbow. She nodded toward Eric.

"What?" I whispered, noticing the amused look on her face.

"Eric." She whispered back, "He banged a girl in the pit."

I felt my feet giving out under me and thanked Xenia when she grabbed onto my arm and steadied me.

"Jeez, didn't think it would shock you that much." She chuckled, "Never would have pecked him for the guy who loses control like that though. That girl seemed to enjoy herself. It made me see him in a different light."

She needed to stop talking. I felt like throwing up when she kept going on and on about Eric and the slut who he hooked up with right after I told him how I felt about us. I was actually grateful when Four announced we were getting off next stop.  
The group followed after Eric who led them through the dirt road heading straight for the fence where the supervisor of the fence guards was waiting for us. I stayed behind the group not being in the mood to socialize or listen to more stories about the crazy things people did in the pit last night.

"You okay?"

I glanced aside, surprised to see Four walking beside me. I had been too lost in my own thoughts to realize someone was actually keeping me company.

"No." I whispered, not wanting to lie to him again.

He knew last time that I wasn't fine even though I kept telling him I was.

"I'm sorry."

"Well, I got myself into this mess."

He finally looked at me, "So you deserve this?" He asked, sounding offended that I even brought it up, "I don't know what happened between you two, but only an asshole would do what he did to you. So don't even try blaming yourself for what happened last night."

"You saw-"

"Eric being inappropriate in a very public place, yes and some things can't be unseen."

Though it hurt knowing how quick Eric moved to the next girl I could appreciate Four trying to lighten the mood with just being himself. I needed to talk to someone about what happened and it couldn't be Xenia or Damon since they didn't know I had been seeing Eric.

"I told him I wanted more than sneaking around-" I left the dirty things out, not wanting to scar Four even more, "He told me he didn't and five seconds later he bangs another girl in public."

"Well, they weren't having sex." He left out the word 'yet' to make me feel better I think, "But I'm not going to lie about it. He was together with another girl." He grabbed onto my arm, making me stop in my tracks, "Someone like that isn't worth the pain you're feeling. I know it must hurt since you trusted him, but he broke that trust and walked all over you." We were falling behind the group, but Four didn't seem to care, "The best way to make Eric see that you're strong and don't need him to be the best that you are is to keep living your life the way you were."

We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity to me. When a small smile spread across my face Four smiled in return.

"Thanks."

"For what?" He asked confused, glancing at the group who were now like a little dot in the distance.

"For saying what I needed to hear."

I walked toward the group again, Four walking beside me. We eventually caught up with the group, the both of us ignoring the glare Eric threw us.  
We got a tour around the fence, getting a chance to see what these guards were doing. I didn't need the information though seeing that my father was a fence guard. I looked around for him, but I think he was purposely staying away. When the sun started to set we headed back to the compound. I kept close to Four in the train, not wanting to deal with Eric's crap or Xenia's stories about the party I missed. We were standing side by side, leaning against the wall across the door.

"You working a shift at the control room?"

"Nope, it's my night off."

I didn't think Four did nights off. He was always moving around, if he wasn't instructing transfers he was working double shifts at the control room.

"You have a night off." I whispered, needing to hear those words out loud again, "So what are your plans tonight?"

"No plans. Just me drinking a beer on my barely used couch."

I titled my head to the side, nervously meeting his curious gaze. Four could tell a thousand thoughts were flashing through my mind. He gave me time to ask him what I really wanted.

"Could I join you for a beer on your barely used couch?"

I said it before I could think it over. Hanging out with Four away from the rest of the world sounded like heaven to me, I just didn't want him to think I was using him to get over Eric. His friendship or whatever this was meant a lot to me. If I lost that too I'd definitely want to throw myself over the chasm.

"I'm sure my couch is big enough for the two of us."

He sounded amused which made relief wash over me. Thank god, he didn't read into it. Maybe he knew that I needed some time away from everyone. Away from the pit where I would probably find Eric together with another girl.

"So what are the two of you up to tonight?" Xenia asked, interrupting my staring match with Four.

Looking away I let Four deal with this. They didn't question him when he told them to mind their own business.

"Staying in." Four shrugged, "Just the two of us." He added.

I'm sure he added that part to make sure they got the hint. No unannounced parties at his house when he was staying in together with me. They still had the wrong idea about us, but that helped with making them back off when Four told them he was staying in with me. They would give us the space we needed.

"Cool." Her eyes wandered to me, "You staying all night?" She asked.

It wasn't an odd question since I stayed away most nights to be with Eric. That wouldn't happen again though, so now I had to come up with an excuse why I was suddenly preferring the dorm over a cozy bed.

"No."

She frowned, "So I'll see you at the dorm later?"

"We're having dinner together, right?" I asked, reminding her that we weren't suddenly going to disappear into thin air.

"Right." That made her grin from ear to ear again.

* * *

Sitting at the table with my friends I didn't think it was possible for me to ignore Eric who a minute ago entered the dining hall like he owned it and sat down at the table right across me. I didn't glance at him once, instead I focused on the story Zeke was telling about an epic game of Candor or Dauntless.

"We were all prepared for Nate to get naked since the dare was just ridiculous when he actually shot Trevor with a paintball gun right in the-"

"Oh my god!" Xenia covered her mouth with her hand, "Didn't you get in a lot of trouble for that?! How are you still alive?"

Nate wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side, pressing a kiss to her temple, "In a lot of trouble. But it was worth it."

"Yeah, who doesn't want to shoot an arrogant Dauntless leader in his crotch." I mumbled, "That's the dream." I whispered, stuffing my face full with Dauntless cake hoping they didn't hear me.

"You want to shoot a Dauntless leader in the dick?" Zeke asked amused.

Fuck, they heard me. I just took another bite from my cake hoping to avoid this conversation.

"I mean I think half the people here would want to shoot a particular Dauntless leader in the dick, but they won't since they know they'll end up dead or worse."

Everyone at our table knew who he was talking about. But he was right, victory wouldn't last long. After he'd recover he'd come after you, making you wish you were dead. So it could only be a dream, a dream which would play over and over again in my head.

"We should definitely play Candor or Dauntless again soon." Zeke seemed excited about that now.

Four and I excused ourselves from their party planning and headed to the door together, walking side by side. A sense of calmness washed over me when his arm would brush against mine occasionally. It made it a lot easier for me to pass the Dauntless leader table, ignoring the glances we received as we headed out of the dining hall.

"Was it just in my head?" I whispered to Four.

"No, it wasn't." Four's hand brushed against mine, but this time he did it on purpose, "They were watching us."

It pissed me off that even though Eric was the one who suggested we moved on he still kept an eye on me, and not just him but also his buddies. If Zeke handed me a paintball gun I'd definitely shoot him in the dick and enjoy every second of it.

"I wouldn't if I were you."

Glancing at Four I noticed the smirk spread across his face.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked, confused that he understood what I was thinking.

He led me into his apartment, heading straight for the small kitchen across the seating area.

"No, but you didn't have too." He grabbed a beer from the fridge and looked over his shoulder to see me getting comfortable on his couch, "You want one as well?"

I shook my head, "No, thanks."

I could hear him popping the bottle open before he joined me on his couch. Grabbing the book off his coffee table, I flipped through it, enjoying the comfortable silence. I couldn't hide my grin when Four wrapped an arm around my shoulders and asked me to read it out loud. This is what I wanted, being comfortable with the guy I was dating while we enjoyed each other's presence without having to have sex all the time. Not that the sex was bad with Eric, it had been freaking amazing. It just wasn't enough to keep a relationship going. It wasn't anything in Eric's eyes though, I was just a random girl who he could fuck when he wanted to. Trying to shake all the negative feelings off I continued to read out loud, snuggling more into Four.

* * *

I jumped up, frantically looking around. I wasn't in the dorm as I scanned the cool bedroom I was in I remembered falling asleep on the couch in Four's arm. Glancing aside I noticed the spot untouched, Four let me have his bed while he slept on the couch. Slipping out of the bed I walked into the living room to see Four standing by the door, talking to someone. I guess loud banging against the door is what woke me up. Instead of joining Four at the door I walked to his kitchen to grab myself a glass of water.

"Yeah, I'll be right there." I heard Four say.

Turning around I raised an eyebrow at whoever pushed Four aside to enter his apartment. Nodding at Michael who looked rather confused to see me standing there.

"Didn't know you had company. I interrupted something, didn't I?"

He didn't look guilty at all, if anything he looked rather pleased to have barged into Four's apartment to invade his privacy.

"No, you didn't." I shrugged, glancing down at my outfit since I was still wearing my gear without the heavy jacket, "So what brings you here in the middle of the night?"

"Something came up in the control room, I need Four to take a look." He grinned when Four passed him, "So Four is sleeping on the couch while you get the bed." I bit my lip, just noticing the blanket and pillow on the couch, "Such a gentleman."

"Shut up." Four called from the bedroom, "Stop harassing her."

"I'm just saying she shouldn't let such a gentleman as you get away."

I was leaning against the counter as I listened to their banter. Four stepped into the living room again, looking all fresh in his new set of clothing. He headed straight for Michael and grabbed onto his shoulder, pushing him toward the door. He managed to push Michael out the door and turned to look over his shoulder, meeting my curious gaze.

"I'm sorry this idiot woke you up, try and get some sleep, okay? Stage two starts in a few hours." With that he left, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"Fuck." I nearly fell out of bed when Four came bursting through the door, looking like he had seen a ghost, "We're late, aren't we?"

"Yes." I rushed into the bedroom to freshen up while I quickly made the bed.

I brushed my teeth with a new toothbrush Four left on the sink and quickly joined him in the living room. There was no time to get breakfast since we were half an hour late. We dashed through the hallways of the compound and entered the sterile looking waiting room. Everyone glanced our way, I just kept my gaze down while taking a seat next to Xenia on the floor while Four entered the simulation room.

"Eric is so pissed." Xenia whispered to me, "I'm guessing he doesn't like administering these tests."

Eric took over from Four, not Lauren, but Eric. I'm sure Four would get preached at right about now and not so kindly either. We didn't hear yelling or things crashing though, so they kept it civil I guess. There was probably also an initiate in the room, going through their fears. I looked up when Four walked out of the simulation room and called Damon's name, heading to the room next door. I'm guessing since Eric is here he was going to help administering the tests. My heart started beating frantically when the initiate who just went through their simulation walked out while Eric leaned against the doorpost, looking straight at me.

"You're next."

He didn't point at me or say my name, but I knew he meant me seeing he was still looking at me. Getting to my feet I walked past Eric, entering the simulation room. The door slamming shut behind me made me jump and pray to god that the equipment doesn't work so I didn't have to do this with Eric being the one overseeing my simulation.  
Taking a deep breath I hopped onto the reclining chair, looking everywhere but the man who took a seat on his chair and rolled toward me.

"So Four doesn't mind being a second choice?"

"Excuse me?"

I finally looked at him, seeing him getting the syringe ready to stab me with the fear serum. I knew he'd stab me since he was still pissed. I'd probably be lucky if I didn't get a gigantic bruise on my neck.

"I mean you're hooking up with him right after you told me you wanted me."

I snorted, "Four was and will never be my second choice. We both know he always comes first."

I shouldn't have said that. The murderous look in his eyes told me he wouldn't just stab me with the syringe, he wanted blood.

"So you were seeing him when we were fucking?"

"I wasn't and what right do you have to be jealous about this…"

He chuckled, "Jealous? You were not that good of a lay."

I jumped off the chair, glaring down at the smirking man who looked very pleased with himself.

"So you and your little buddies weren't spying on me and Four last night? You weren't so pissed off this morning because Four and I were both late for this to make everyone in that waiting room notice something was up with you?" I noticed the change in his eyes and knew I had to stop, yet my brain to mouth filter was malfunctioning, "Admit it Eric no matter how many sluts you'll bang in the pit no one comes close to me."

"The only slut here is you."

I should have let it go and walked away, but what I did next I blame it completely on my temper. Grabbing onto the syringe Eric was holding I stabbed him with it first, watching shock flash across his eyes as he reached for his neck where I just injected him with the fear serum. I dropped the syringe on the floor and stepped back as I watched in horror as Eric got to his feet and slowly headed toward me.

"You little-"

I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle a gasp as he dropped onto the floor right by my feet, being unconscious. Eric would kill me when he got out of the simulation. That serum was very strong though. It took less than a minute to knock down a big guy like Eric. I spun around getting out of the room and closing it firmly behind me. I ignored all the looks I received as I took a second to even my breathing. They probably thought I just came out of my simulation, I must look as panicked and scared as the initiate who did this before me. Very quietly I entered the room next door, closing the door behind me as I watched Four prepare for his next initiate. He frowned when he looked up to meet my gaze.

"What happened?" He got up, probably noticing how terrified I was.

"I-I-I-" I couldn't control my breathing, tilting my head back to look up at Four who was now holding onto my shoulders.

"Did he hurt you?" Four's eyes were scanning my face and body for any sign of abuse.

I shook my head. Pressing a hand to my chest since it really hurt. My heart was squeezing painfully as the frantic breathing made me lightheaded.

"I need you to calm down and tell me what happened. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."

I leaned my head back against the metal door and closed my eyes, trying really hard to even my breathing. Four pulled away and told me to take deep breaths, guiding me to the reclining chair to sit down.

Once I didn't sound like a just ran a marathon I buried my face in my hands, cursing myself for what I had done.

"I stabbed Eric with the syringe."

"You what?!"

I dropped my hands and met Four's confused gaze, "We got into a fight and I was so angry I grabbed onto his syringe and basically injected him with the fear serum."

"When was this?" Four got to his feet, eyes focused on the metal door.

"Maybe five or six minutes ago."

"He'll wake up any minute now." He grabbed onto my arm and helped me off the chair, "You need to get out of here before he wakes up." Walking me to the backdoor Four was about to open it when loud banging made the metal door almost come off its hinges, "Here are my keys to the apartment, lock the door behind you and stay there till I come for you."

"Open this fucking door Four!"

Four pushed me out of the room seeing I was frozen in fear, "Go!" I whispered harshly.

Running through the hallways I locked myself up in Four's apartment, hiding under the sheets as I tried to calm myself down. Eric was pissed. I didn't want to think about what he'd do if he got his hands on me. And after he was done he'd probably personally kick me out of Dauntless. I screwed up. I so fucking screwed up.


	13. Being an Idiot

**Hi guys,**

I got asked a few times about my other Eric based story, **Flawless**. I haven't forgotten about it. I had planned the way it should end, but I didn't like where it was going. I just need time to figure out how to end it so it will take a while.

For now I'm going to focus on **Wanting More** , since the storyline is a lot simpler for me. On that note I cannot believe how many reviews I got for the last chapter. Thank you all! That means a lot to me. It's good to know that you're all interested in this story!

 **Chapter Thirteen – Being an Idiot**

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I pulled the sheets away from my head when I heard Four's gentle voice calling my name from the living room. Glancing at the clock on his bedside table I noticed that only a few minutes passed. He must have left the initiates to someone else, because the waiting room was still full when I up and left to hide from a very pissed off Eric.

"There you are." He took a seat on the edge of the bed next to me, "Eric stormed off when he realized you weren't in my simulation room. I'm guessing he is searching the entire compound to find you. I cannot hide you forever, Rose."

I knew that. Eventually Eric would find me and I'd only piss him off more if I stayed away too long. I just didn't dare to face him. The words he said to me hurt me. If he hadn't hurt me the way he did I wouldn't have felt the need to stab him. He wouldn't understand that though. There was no way I could reason with a madman. I jumped when I heard loud banging coming from the living room. Eric found me already! Four's eyes softened when he saw me tremble, his hand softly caressed my cheek before he got up to answer the door.

"I have to answer it."

I nodded, not daring to speak up because I knew my voice would break. He walked out of the bedroom and opened the front door. To my relief it wasn't Eric who showed up.

"Rose I need to speak to you!" I heard Michael call from the living room.

Pushing the sheets aside I jumped out of bed and stood in the doorway, meeting Michael's concerned gaze.

"We don't have much time. Eric demanded of everyone in the control room to find you. Most of them don't know what you look like so when I managed to find the footage of you entering Four's apartment I asked Zeke to stall. I say we have about five to ten minutes till Eric will come barging in here. So start talking."

I glanced at Four who nodded, telling me it's time to talk about it. Taking a seat on the couch, I grabbed the blanket Four left on it this morning and pulled it over me. Needing it's warmth to comfort me as I thought about Eric barging into the control room. Demanding of everyone to find me. I couldn't even imagine what he'd do to me once he found me.

"Rose?" Michael called, when he noticed I was getting lost in my thoughts.

"Since we don't have much time I suggest you tell him the short version so we can come up with a plan to keep you alive." Four suggested.

"I was sleeping with Eric. We started this thing before initiation, if you are wondering." When I looked up I saw disgust flashing through Michaels eyes, "On the day of the celebration I told him I wanted more than a sexual relationship and he didn't take it that well." Realization appeared on his face so I knew Michael got it, "Today he asked me about Four, being all childish about us coming in together late so we argued. He called me a slut and I stabbed him with the fear serum."

"Good girl." Michael told me, making me raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well now I'm regretting it. He is going to kill me when he finds me."

Four folded his arms across his chest, "Now that I think about it all the other leaders know about this thing between the two of you right? That's why they glared at us when we left the dining hall?"

I nodded.

"Okay, I need you to go to Eric's office." He stepped closer to me when he saw the fear in my eyes, "You need to be brave and try and keep him talking for as long as possible while we get Wes." Four gestured between him and Michael.

Wes would understand. I had no idea why I didn't think about that. Pulling the blanket away from my body I get off the couch and straightened my clothes and hair.

"Please hurry."

Michael placed his arm around my shoulders and walked me out of Four's apartment, kissing my head.

"Be brave, Rose. We'll be right there."

I watched the both of them rush off to find Wes. I took a minute to catch my breath and headed toward Eric's office. I'm sure he'd first go to Four's apartment so I had a little time to calm myself down. I leaned back against the door to his office and waited. I doubted going through the fear simulation was worse than this. At least you could snap out of it, since it was all in your head. This was actually happening. I couldn't pinch myself to wake up. I was actually facing my fear and it was horrible. I was breathing so hard and fast yet it didn't feel like I was breathing at all, if this would continue I'd pass out because of the lack of oxygen going to my brain. I inhaled sharply when I heard the heavy footfalls of Eric coming closer and closer. He wasn't rushing to get to me, but I didn't dare to assume he had calmed down. Eric was known to hold grudges, hell, I witnessed it at the simulation room this morning. He still hated the fact that Four beat him in in their fight during initiation and that was like six years ago. So him letting me off the hook a few minutes later was not going to happen.

"Gotta be honest with you, you do have balls for showing up on your own."

He sounded calm too, now I was certain the hatred was just simmering underneath this mask he put on.

"It's not like I could have stayed hidden forever."

"True, I would have found you eventually."

He pushed me aside to unlock his office, his touch was gentle too. I had no idea what was going on right now, but everything inside me told me to run for the hills. My feet just wouldn't move. I didn't know if it was because of the fear or the fact that I made a promise to Four and Michael and I was just subconsciously keeping my word to them.

He held the door open, cocking an eyebrow at me when I didn't move, "You coming in or what?"

I rather stay right where I was. Moving one foot at a time I entered his office, my breath hitching in my throat when I heard Eric close the door behind me. I stayed where I was, watching Eric move to his desk. He shrugged his heavy jacket off, throwing it carelessly on one of the chairs in front of his massive desk and turned around to face me, leaning against that desk as he narrowed his stormy eyes on me. Now that his jacket was off I could see a massive bruise forming on his neck. The black tattoos did nothing to hide it. It was ugly and it probably hurt.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked, making me step back, "I knew unlike the other initiates you don't fear telling me what's on your mind, but you stabbing me with the syringe-" He pointed to the ugly bruise on his neck, "That just tops everything."

"You getting stabbed with the syringe was better than the alternative. I probably would have died if you did what I did to you. Let's not make up lies and say it isn't true, you wouldn't have gently injected me with the serum."

"You flatter me, sweetheart." He pushed himself away from the desk and stepped closer to me, making me press myself up against the door to try and get some distance between us, "Unlike you I have a lot more self control." He slammed his hand against the door right next to my head, "There are so many things I'd like to do to you, none of them are going to be pleasant though."

"You know what I don't care." I whispered, leaning my head back against the door, "This would have happened eventually anyways."

I held my breath when Eric pressed his body into mine, crushing my body with his weight. The playfulness mixed with pure evil was gone. All I saw in his stormy eyes were confusion, suspicion and anger.

"What the hell are you saying?" His voice was low when he spoke, but I could hear the anger hidden deep within his words.

I tried to inhale deeply to fill my longs with air, but it just wasn't helping. My eyes bulged when Eric's hand wrapped around my neck, his grip tightening as the anger inside him kept growing.

"Answer me!"

My hand reached out, taking hold of his wrist to loosen his grip on me. It wasn't though, it was only getting stronger cutting off my breathing entirely.

"Rose!" He growled.

My vision was getting blurry, tears that stung my eyes started to roll down my cheeks. I couldn't see myself but I think my face started to get so red it scared Eric awake because he finally released me and jumped back. Falling down to my knees I tried to catch my breath, touching the sensitive skin on my neck.

"This is unbelievable." I heard Eric move around his office, looking up I saw him running his hands through his hair multiple times, "This is fucking-" He stopped moving and stopped in front of me, "Get up."

When I didn't move he grabbed onto my arm and forced me to stand on my feet. We both snapped our heads to the door when we loud banging and Wes calling out to Eric to open the door. Eric looked down at me, all the warmth I ever saw in his eyes leaving him completely. He looked at me like he saw me for the first time. Even when we argued in the simulation there was acknowledgement in his eyes. Some warmth left for me no matter how much he tried to deny it. Everything was gone now though.

"We're going to pretend this conversation never happened." He whispered to me.

I nodded, but that wasn't enough for him.

"Do you understand, initiate?"

I locked eyes with him, showing him everything I was feeling. For a second his look faltered but he composed himself so quick he made me think I imagined it all.

"Yes, sir."

He released my arm and stalked to the door, ripping it open to let Wes in. On his trail were Four and Michael both of them stopping in their tracks when they saw me. I must look like hell right now. Tears streaming down my cheeks, my face all red and puffy, my neck bruised because of Eric's grip. When I looked at them I saw regret in their eyes. They had nothing to feel guilty about though. This was all on me, because of what I am and what I did. No one was to blame for what happened, but me.

"Rose, it's okay you can leave now." Wes spoke quietly, apparently afraid to speak to me at all.

My feet wouldn't move though. I could leave not when Eric barely looked at me. He stood by the door, keeping the distance between us.

"Rose?" Wes called, "Sweetheart it's okay."

If Eric wasn't pretending like I wasn't even in the same room as him I would have been offended by Wes trying to use cute names on me.

I jumped when Michael appeared in my vision, placing his arm around my shoulders, "Let's get you home, okay?" He walked me out of the office, throwing Eric a glare which would have burned him alive if looks could kill.

"Wes." I heard Four say in a warning tone before he followed after us.

"What did he do to you?" Michael whispered, pulled me closer to him as he walked me back to Four's apartment.

I pulled away from Michael once we were safely inside Four's apartment and sat down on the couch, wrapping the blanket all around me as I met Four's concerned gaze.

"Eric knows."

Those two words were enough for Four to understand me, it wasn't for Michael though. He looked from me to Four and shook his head.

"More secrets." He huffed, running a hand through his hair, "What is going on, you guys?"

Four took a seat next to me, placing his hand on my knee while he turned his gaze to Michael, "We need some space, Mike."

Michael didn't look happy about it, but he left. Four turned to look at me when Michael was out the door and squeezed my knee.

"He didn't administer your test seeing you injected him with the serum instead, so care to explain to me how he found out?"

I buried my face in my heads, letting out a frustrated growl which had been growing inside, "I'm an idiot. That's how."

Four sighed tiredly, putting his arm around my shoulders as he leaned back against the couch. The silence between us was what we both needed. I curled into his side and leaned my head against his chest. His heart beat calmed my chaotic mind down, it felt good even if it would only last a minute. This one minute everything felt normal.

"What am I going to do with you?" Four asked quietly, looking up at the ceiling.

I laughed, I couldn't help but to laugh. It made Four look down at me, raising an eyebrow in question. I looked up meeting his kind brown eyes.

"Eric said the same thing to me." I placed my hand against his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat.

He chuckled, covering my hand with his, "I'm sure it had a different meaning."

I smiled, "Yes, like am I going to throw you into the chasm or choke you to death."

"Don't joke about that, he was probably considering ways to kill you."

I turned fully into him, tilting my head back to fully look him in the eyes, "You would miss me if he did any of those things."

The glint I saw in his warm brown eyes made me forget about all the terrible things that Eric did and say to me today. He didn't make me feel unwanted. He made me feel like I mattered.

"I wouldn't know what to do without you. Let's face it you brought a lot more excitement into all of our lives. Just being you."

When he looked at me like I actually meant something to him, like he actually cared about me I couldn't control my emotions anymore. Brushing my fingers over his neck I placed my hand against his cheek and turned his head toward me. I leaned up, brushing my lips against his. The feel of his soft, warm lips against mine made me feel alive again. He didn't kiss me back, his eyes were staring into mine as I kissed him. I knew it should have made me stop, but the emotions were so high I had no control over my body. I pushed the blanket off me and crawled on top of his lap, cupping his face in my hands as I pressed my lips against his again. When I closed my eyes and started to kiss him like my life depended on it I felt his hands on my hips. He moved his lips against mine, kissing me back with the same force I was using. I pulled away once I needed to catch my breath and stared into his eyes, brushing my thumb over his full bottom lip.

"Rose-"

I pulled away from him and reached for the bottom of my shirt, shutting him up when he realized what I was doing. I'm pretty sure he stopped talking because he was shocked. When I pulled the shirt over my head and tossed it aside I swear I saw his eyes widen.

"Rose, we shouldn't-"

I pressed my lips against his, making him shup up again. Grabbing onto his hands I placed them on my waist and let them slowly brush up toward my bra. The heath of his hands on my bare skin felt amazing. Releasing his hands I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Four's fingers brushed over my bra, but he seemed content with just kissing me. I had to bite my lip when he pulled away and left small kisses on the sensitive skin on my neck as if he was trying to kiss the pain away. Four trailed his hands back down, gripping my hips tightly. He kept a firm hold on me as he got off the couch, making me wrap my legs around his waist. Four walked us to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.


	14. Three Little Words

**Hi guys,**

Once again I'm shocked to see how many of you left me a review. Thank you!  
Just want to remind you that this is an Eric/OC based story so they'll end up together.

 **Chapter fourteen – Three Little Words.**

* * *

Four slipped into his shirt, covering the huge tattoo on his back which I absolutely loved. He suddenly turned around catching me staring at him. A smile slipped onto his face as he stepped closer to me, placing his hand on my lower back while he placed a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"You're not supposed to stare at me like that."

"I can't help it." I whispered, "Tease."

His lips twitched, "We both agreed to wait."

I placed my head against his shoulder, "I know." I sighed, "I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to that ridiculous suggestion."

He wrapped me up in his arms, "You were being mature. We have too much going on right now. If we jump into something so serious without a second thought and ruin things it's really hard to go back to things the way they used to be."

Four didn't need to tell me in exact details what he was trying to say. I knew. If this wouldn't work we would ruin our friendship. That was the last thing I wanted. Four was the one person I could go to when I felt lost.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his waist.

I smiled when I felt him kiss my head, "Maybe we shouldn't."

"I should stop pushing you."

"Maybe you should."

I couldn't help but to laugh, "Don't be afraid to tell me to shut up."

His fingers tangled in my hair, "I can't tell you to shut up because we both need to hear those words out loud to remind us what we're getting ourselves into."

Placing my palm against his chest, I slightly pushed him away from me, "Don't be so mature about it. It confuses me."

"Rose." I didn't like the tone he used when saying my name, "If it confuses you it's not a good sign."

"Four-"

"You and Eric haven't properly discussed things over and I know it's mainly his fault because he is not the type of guy to have a heart to heart with-"

"No, he is the type of guy who rips your heart out with his bare hand and hands it to you on a silver platter."

Four scrunched his nose, obviously disgusted with the example I just gave him, "That sounds utterly disturbing." He whispered, "I'm just saying that you haven't figured things out yet. You're confused because Eric is still on your mind."

"He is not."

He tried to close the distance between us, but I stepped back, not wanting Four to touch me right now. I think that said enough, we both knew it.

"It's easy to pretend you don't care about him anymore because he hurt your feelings. Running away is easier right now, but eventually your fears will catch up with you. If you're not prepared for it, it will cut you deeper than you ever imagined."

He was right about everything, but I hated to admit it.

"It feel like you just lectured me."

His lips curled up to a smirk, "Maybe I did."

"I'm not your initiate!" I muttered, trying to shake off the serious conversation we just had.

Four only laughed in response. Rolling my eyes at him I turned around and headed into the living room. We were supposed to meet our friends for breakfast, but I guess they were too impatient to wait for us because when I opened the door I ran smack into Michael. His hands reached out to me, steadying me.

"You okay?"

I pulled away from him, "I'm fine." I slightly smiled, "What are you guys doing here?"

Xenia, Zeke and Michael stood right in front of Four's door. Michael looking annoyed, Zeke excited and Xenia confused. Michael couldn't keep his damn mouth shut. I suppose Zeke helped out yesterday without really knowing what was going on, but Xenia had no clue whatsoever. Michael definitely blabbed.

"We need to talk." Michael said, pushing past me to enter Four's apartment.

Acting like they owned the place our friends barged right into Four's apartment and took a seat on the couch. Silently I closed the door behind me and walked to the couch, glancing aside to see Four walking out of the bedroom, shock flashing through his eyes as he glanced at our friends sitting in his living room.

"Guys?"

"Four." Michael greeted politely, "We want to help you guys, we really do-" He said gesturing between them, "But we can't help you guys if you don't tell us what the hell is going on."

Four met my gaze, probably wondering how much we could tell them. Obviously they knew about me and Eric, what they didn't know was the part about me being Divergent. My mom working on some kind of secret serum and Eric being on some kind of mission for Erudite. Four and I didn't know what the hell was going on so we couldn't exactly share things with our friends either.

"We don't know much either." I explained, ignoring the exasperated sigh they all let out, "I'm serious. All I can tell you is that before initiation started I had a thing with Eric. I found out that my mom and Eric are on some kind of secret mission for Erudite and that's all I know."

"Last night you looked like a zombie and told Four 'Eric knows'. Those two words were enough for Four to understand what you meant, so stop bullshitting us." Michael actually sounded pissed right now, "Start telling the truth, Rose. What part of us not being able to help you don't you understand?"

All the tension actually left my body the minute Four placed his hand on my lower back, letting me know that I wasn't alone in this. He was right there beside me.

"We simply can't tell you." Four said making them all shift their gazes to him, "Trust me when I say that knowing whatever is going on in Dauntless right now is going to get you killed. I've seen it happen. Leadership will easily cover things up and you'll be forgotten like other Dauntless who knew too much."

Michael raised to his feet, "Don't tell us what we can or can't handle."

"Chill, Mike." Zeke stood up as well, placing his arm around Michael's shoulders, "I think Four is being serious about this." He said, watching Four nod quietly.

"What can you tell us?" Michael asked, sounding a lot more calm than a minute ago.

"That Eric could have killed me, but he decided to let me walk away."

Four dropped his hand from me, making this more awkward than it already was. I had no idea what it meant when Eric said we would pretend our conversation never happened. I could only assume he would let me live, but assuming things about Eric was what got me hurt in the first place.

"About Eric-" Xenia stood up, standing awkwardly beside Zeke, "Why?"

I frowned, "Why what?"

"Why him?"

I didn't want to discuss this in front of the guys, but the impatient look on Xenia's face told me she wasn't giving me a choice.

"Why him? She repeated when I didn't answer.

"I don't know!"

She looked at me as if I ate the last piece of Dauntless cake, "What do you know? You keep telling us you don't know and it pisses me off. You were doing whatever with a psychopath who searched the whole compound for you like a madman because he couldn't handle the fact that you stood up for yourself. So why him? Why the guy who obviously doesn't care about anyone other than himself."

"Xenia." Zeke warned her.

"No, don't Xenia me! Tell me, I wanna know."

"It's not that simple." I tried to explain to them, but even I could hear how weak that excuse sounded.

"Now you're definitely bullshitting us." Xenia sat back down on the couch, "Because according to Damon you were going to tell the guy you were seeing how you felt about the whole relationship. Rose, just tell us the fucking truth."

"I'm in love with him!'

The whole room fell silent when I practically shouted those words. Zeke and Michael fell back down on the couch staring at me the same way Xenia had a minute ago. I felt Four beside me tense up, making me regret getting so worked up.

"Four-" I turned to look at him, surprised to see him smiling at me.

"Now we know why you're confused." He said, not sounding pissed or disappointed which made the whole thing worse.

I shake my head, "I didn't mean that…I mean I don't know what the hell I am feeling. I mean I cannot be in love with the guy who wants to kill me, that's insane. I'm supposed to like the guy who is good for me and-You're not second choice, I told Eric that and that's why he is even more pissed-"

Four chuckled, "You're rambling." Him being so damn calm about this made it even harder for me, "We both need to figure out what we want, Rose. You agree with me that it's the right decision to wait a little longer?"

"Yes."

Michael ignored our little moment, obviously still upset about everything that happened the last twenty-four hours.

"Since Eric didn't kill you like you thought he would do if he found out and the fact that he obviously talked about you with the other leaders is a clear indication that the guy does have some feelings for you, right? You know what you're going to do about that?"

"I don't know." I said once again which made everyone in the room shake their heads at me, "Guys, can you like give me a minute to breath and figure things out." I muttered.

Four placed his hand on my back again, knowing I needed him beside me to keep me centered, "Enough about Eric. I was actually looking forward to have breakfast this morning, don't make me lose my appetite."

I knew he was trying to lighten the mood and it was obviously working since our friends grinned and got to their feet.

"You're right, let's head to the dining hall." Zeke announced, heading out of the apartment first.

* * *

Sitting next to Four was the best choice I made considering our friends didn't question me any further about Eric. He also had this way of calming me down when my thoughts went everywhere the minute Eric walked in together with Wes. I quickly looked down when Wes looked our way, but I could still feel his eyes piercing me. I refused to look up even though I felt him standing right beside me a few minutes later.

"Rose, I think it's time we have a serious conversation."

I nodded, still refusing to meet his gaze.

"My office is two doors down Eric's, meet me there in ten, okay?"

"Okay."

He didn't move away so I figured he'd move once I actually looked at him. Taking a deep breath I looked up meeting his gaze. I hated the small smile he flashed me, last thing I needed was him feeling sorry for me. Even though I hated how Wes behaved during our fieldtrip, I could deal with annoyed, pissed off Wes. I couldn't deal with Wes who looked at me as if someone just ran me over with a truck.

"See you in ten."

He turned and headed back to the leader's table, taking a seat next to Eric. My breathing hitched in my throat when Eric met my gaze. His eyes gave nothing away. He could shut himself out without blinking. I hated how empty his eyes were when he looked at me. I think that said enough about how I actually felt about him. I could pretend there were no feelings left, but then I wasn't only lying to my friends but also myself.

"You'll be fine." Four assured, making me tear my eyes away from Eric.

"What?"

"The meeting with Wes." He took a sip from his cup, "You have nothing to worry about."

I knew I'd be fine, Wes's look of sympathy was enough for me to conclude he just wanted to talk about my health and probably initiation. I quickly polished the rest of my muffin off, drank my juice and headed out of the dining hall. Wes and Eric were already gone. I assumed they took their breakfast with them considering they hadn't stayed very long. I walked past Eric's office, wondering if he was inside his office catching up on work. I knocked against Wes's door, waiting patiently for him to give me permission to enter. I jumped when the door suddenly opened and Wes pulled me inside.

"Come, take a seat Rose." He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk.

I did what he asked of me and took a seat on one of the empty chairs, shifting a little, trying to get comfortable. I could try all I wanted, this conversation was bound to get uncomfortable. There was no way in hell we could have a relaxed conversation about what happened yesterday.

"You okay?" His eyes lingered on the faint bruises around my neck, making me reach out and touch the sensitive skin.

"I'm fine."

"I know you're probably scared out of your mind about what happened yesterday, but I assure you Eric has been disciplined accordingly."

I frowned, "What does that mean?"

"He no longer supervises training this year and he has been benched for three weeks."

Meaning he couldn't go on patrols anymore. Eric was a very active person, him being cooped up in his office for three weeks wouldn't go well.

"It's not his fault."

"Excuse me?"

I shifted on my seat, "I shouldn't have provoked him. I knew I was pushing it, yet I didn't stop, I wanted to hurt him the same way he hurt me. I should have known better."

Wes narrowed his eyes on me, his eyes suddenly darkening.

"No, Rose. He should have known better." He assured me, "He is the Dauntless leader here, he should have handled the situation with care. Max agrees with me on this."

Now I felt even worse than a minute ago, "Max knows?"

"I had to report to Max about his behavior, Rose." Wes didn't sound upset about it all, "Max is the one who decided on Eric's punishment." Wes must have seen the regret in my eyes, "Don't worry, Eric has a lot on his plate so he is not pissed about the decision Max made. Initiation is practically over as well. There are only the simulations left and Four can easily do those on his own."

Now the Erudite project probably had his full attention, I think I messed things up even more. The project was going slow because Eric didn't have the time for it, I heard my mother complain about it the other day. The project was going on full force now.

"Rose-" Wes snapped me back to reality, "I'm sorry about the other day. I said some things that I shouldn't have said. I also should have known better."

He was apologizing for the fieldtrip day. He scolded me for supposedly fooling around with Four and Eric at the same time. It's because I used Four as a cover at the time that people thought we were together.

"I made a decision you know." I told Wes who nodded, understanding what I was trying to say, "I chose Eric. I wanted to be with him and he pushed everything I said aside like it meant nothing to him."

"I know." Wes lowered his voice, "I don't understand why he suddenly changed his mind."

"What?"

Wes pressed his lips together to a thin line, probably not wanting to tell me what he knows. He might have blabbed to Max about what happened yesterday, as Eric's closest friend he was still loyal to him. No matter what Eric did wrong. I could respect that.

"You don't have to tell me." I got up thinking this conversation was over.

Wes stood up as well, "Don't give up on him."

I turned to look at him, "Wes?"

"Look, intimacy scares the crap out of him. He likes to pretend he doesn't care about anyone but himself, but if that was true he wouldn't have told me about you." He narrowed his eyes on me, "You understand what I am saying?"

"I do understand." I wouldn't lie to make him say more, "But I don't think I can do what you ask of me. You were there things got ugly. I should just move on."

"You can move on like that?" Wes asked me, the knowing look in his eyes telling me he was onto me, "You can fool yourself and pretend you're moving on with someone else, but that wouldn't be fair to the guy. Because your heart wouldn't be in it."

I sighed, "I can't do this right now."

"Then talk to him."

I nearly bumped into the door, "Are you kidding me?" I asked, not caring I just raised my voice to a Dauntless leader, "Are you freaking kidding me? Just talk to him?" I asked, turning around to glare at the man who apparently forgot what Eric did to me yesterday, "Just talk to him?" I repeated.

"This might sound crazy to you, but yes, just talk to him." Wes suggested calmly, not taken back by my yelling, "With your pants on preferably. Sex doesn't solve anything."

I stepped back, this time actually hitting the door with my head. The pain didn't get to me though. The words Wes just spoke were still echoing through the room.

"He didn't tell you about me, he told you about the sex." I whispered.

I spun around reaching for the doorknob, Wes was calling things to me, but I couldn't listen to them for another second. He'd push me to do something stupid, like actually walk into Eric's office and try and have a conversation with him while he clearly didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Not after I told him what I was.

"You ready?"

I jumped, "Jesus, Four!" Clutching the front of my shirt, I stared wide eyed at the man who was standing across from me, "What the hell?!"

The amused look sparkling in his warm brown eyes told me he quite enjoyed giving me the shock of my life right in the hallway of the leader's quarter.

"You missed your chance to practice in your fear sim yesterday, you shouldn't miss another day."

He was worried about my progress which made me a teary mess at this point. Last thing what was on my mind right now was going through my fear sim. I was glad he came searching for me to bring a little normal back into my life. It was crazy how in two days everything changed completely. Maybe Wes was right and I was clinging onto someone because I couldn't face the reality of everything. I would learn now though, since I was going to face my fears in a second.

"Lead the way." I told Four, watching him head to the end of the hallway.

Passing Eric's office made the butterflies do crazy flips in my stomach. It made me realize what my sim would be about today, and if not today it might tomorrow. I gasped when I ran smack into Four's back, making me stumble back.

"Seriously?" I whispered, looking up to meet his amused brown eyes again.

"You need to stop living in your head."

"I'm not living in my head." I whispered to him, afraid Eric might hear us since we were talking right next to his office door.

"Why are we whispering?" Four asked, lowering his voice as well.

He knew damn well why I was whispering, what I didn't understand was why Four was in such a playful mood today. There was absolutely no reason at all to be so perky today.

"You know why-"

We both turned to look at our right to see Eric standing in the doorway, files in hand and his pierced eyebrow raised at us. If I wasn't ready to face Eric in my fears I was definitely not ready to face him in real life. Pushing past Four I practically ran out of the hallway, not caring I looked like a complete idiot. Running into the waiting room, I ignored all the curious gazes and headed into the simulation room which was assigned to Four, knowing he'd follow me. I took a seat on the reclining chair, looking up to see Four walking in. He closed the door behind him and took a seat on his chair, smiling gently at me as he prepared the syringe.

"I'm keeping a good grip on this since you tend to stab your instructors with it." He joked.

I knew he was trying to calm me down before we started the simulation and I really appreciated it.

"I'm going to inject you with the serum-"

"Four, leave the room."

We both looked up to see Eric standing in the doorway, his eyes narrowed on me as he ordered Four to leave the room.

Four glanced at me, "I'm not leaving the room." He told Eric firmly, "You're suspended from your duties as a supervisor, Eric. You've no business here."

"Leave. The. Room."

Eric meant business. I knew that tone, everyone in Dauntless knew that tone. If you heard Eric speaking like that you needed to run for the hills. Four wasn't one of those people though. He dared to stand up against Eric when it was necessary.

Placing my hand on Four's arm I gave him a reassuring nod, "It's okay."

"Rose." Four's warning tone made me smile.

I squeezed Four's arm, "This is like facing my fear, right? I have to do it eventually."

He rolled his eyes at me, but still got up and headed to the door, bumping his shoulder against Eric's as he walked past him. Wes was right all along, I made their relationship even worse.  
Eric closed the door behind him and headed to the chair which Four occupied a minute ago. He tossed his files on the small desk which held the computer and focused his attention back at me.

"We can't keep doing this." He told me, sounding tired.

"Doing what exactly?"

He snorted, "You running away like a frightened little bunny every time you see me. That's not going to work, Rose. When you pass initiation you might end up working under me and we can't have you ignoring me like the plague."

He already assumed I'd pass initiation even though he didn't know how I would do during stage two and three. Things might not be perfect between us but him having faith in my abilities lightened my mood just a little bit.

"Working under you?" I asked, making him raise his pierced eyebrow at me, "We both know I'm qualified for the job."

He laughed. The sound of his laughter filled the room and resonated through my body. A few days ago Eric hunted me like a mad man and today I made him laugh. He was being mature about the situation which made me feel embarrassed for running away like a scared little bunny.

"Shut up." I could hear the amused undertone.

"You're right." I nodded, "You like it more when I'm on top."

He grinned. Eric rarely showed anyone a full smile like that. It made the butterflies in my stomach flutter again. They only did that when Eric was around. Wes was so right about everything, it made me hate him.

"Rose." He warned me.

He turned, reaching for his files he carelessly tossed aside when he entered the room. When he was about to walk past me I blurted the words out I kept hidden from him, wanting him to hear them even though he didn't want to deal with it.

"I love you."

He froze, his back toward me as he let my words sink. I knew I had his full attention, this time he wasn't prepared for it. My face didn't give anything away.

"I lo-"

He spun around, placed his hand on my cheek and stared right into my eyes.

"You can't."

I grasped his wrist, holding tightly onto him, "Eric-

"Don't say it." He lowered his voice, "Don't." He pressed his lips against mine, stopping me from saying it once more.

I wrapped my arms around him, holding onto him for dear life. I knew any second now he'd pull away and pretend it never happened so I wanted to make this moment last. He heard me and even though he'd say he felt nothing for me, his eyes spoke the truth. He deepened the kiss, trying to take my breath away. He pressed himself more into me, his fingers tangling into my hair. I tried to sit up, but he pushed me back into the chair and pulled away from me, his fingers still firmly gripping my hair.

"Stop being so damn annoying."

I opened my eyes to look at him, blinking to see the warmth in his stormy gray eyes. He always tried to conceal it, but not today. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Smirking Eric pulled completely away from me and headed to the door, opening it to let Four in.

"She is all yours." He glanced over his shoulder meeting my confused gaze, "We're good."

Four raised an eyebrow at him when Eric left the room with a smirk on his face. Closing the door behind him Four closed in on me. Sitting down in the chair as he reached for the syringe.

"Can we finally do this thing?"

I smiled, "Sorry."

He smiled back, brushing my hair out of the way, "Remember, Rose, be brave."


	15. Brutal Honesty

**Thanks for leaving me a review, guys! I appreciate it.**

 **Chapter fifteen – Brutal Honesty.**

* * *

"Rose!"

I turned around, surprised to see my mom heading toward me. She was carrying a bunch of files with her, a small smile spread across her face.

"Mom." I tried not to sound surprised, but I couldn't change the tone of my voice, "What are you doing here?"

Her eyes wandered to the files, "Today is the last day of stage two. I'm joining Four to observe the process."

"You're joining Four?" I tried to sound uninterested, not wanting to alarm her.

"I was supposed to join Eric while he administered the serum to his initiates, but since he is no longer overseeing initiation this year Four will have to do."

I bit my lip, "You don't sound happy about that."

"Eric and I have been working on this serum for Erudite for a very long time. It just frustrates me that leadership suddenly decided he no longer oversees training this year. It just adds to my list of duties since I have to brief Eric about every single thing." She huffed, "I don't understand their reasoning behind their decision."

I was the reason why my mom was frustrated and stressed with work. Eric could no longer oversee initiation because of me. Wes kept pressing that it was his own fault, but somehow the words just wouldn't process.

"Are you finished with your Erudite project after you summarized your findings about the serum?" I asked her, holding the door open to the waiting room so my mom could enter first.

The waiting room wasn't as crowded as the previous days. Four told me I would go last today so I didn't join them this morning. Xenia and Damon kept pressing that Four was pulling rank to give me some down time. He knew I needed it. I needed some time to myself to put some order back into my life. After I confessed my love to Eric I hadn't seen him for days. He was definitely avoiding me. I couldn't pretend it never happened though.

Four stepped out of his assigned room, his eyes moving toward my mom, "Anna."

His voice was void of any emotion, I think he was less than pleased with my mom sitting in on his sessions. I smiled when he met my gaze, I could tell his gaze softened just a little.

"You okay?"

I knew he was referring to my mental health. The simulations were brutal and every single one of them had been about Eric so far. Four kept his mouth shut about them, but I knew what he was thinking. I had been thinking the same thing. My heart and body might want him, but my mind kept warning me off.

"I'm fine."

Our private conversation wasn't getting past my mom, I think she could hear the concern in Four's voice. I ignored the stare she gave me, knowing she would see right through me if I tried to brush it off.

"You ready, Anna?" Four asked, turning around to head to his simulation room, "Rose, you're up."

I hesitated, if I entered the simulation room my mom would observe my fear together with Four. She would find out about my relationship with Eric, or at least get suspicious of it since he most definitely would appear in my sim again. At least he usually killed me in my sim so maybe she would only assume that I intensely feared the guy.

"Okay." I settled in the reclining chair, trying to ignore my mom's presence.

Four rolled toward me, a syringe ready in his hand. Usually he joked about me trying not to stab him with it, but today he couldn't. My mom was messing up the dynamics which annoyed the both of us. It wasn't just because we got comfortable with the process, but also because we knew what it meant to have her presence in the room. Things with Erudite was getting real.

"Try to remain calm and as always, Rose, be brave."

With that Four injected me with the serum, letting me drift to my nightmare.

* * *

I knifed up from my chair, bending over at my right and throwing up the light breakfast I had that morning. My ears were ringing and my heart beating so fast I could hardly hear anything else. I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth when I emptied my stomach right there in the room in front of my mom and Four. That had not happened before and it embarrassed the hell out of me. I tried to take deep breaths to calm my upset stomach down. When I felt a firm hand on my shoulder I looked at my left meeting Four's concerned gaze.

"Rose." He spoke calmly, "Everything is fine. I need you to relax and take deep breaths okay."

My eyes shifted to my mom who looked horrified and I could tell it wasn't because I just threw up. Four glanced over his shoulder, staring at my mom.

"Give us a minute, Anna."

"No." She shot up from her chair, "She is my daughter and she needs me right now."

"I think you forget that the only reason leadership is allowing you to observe is that you sit in this room with your mouth shut and let me do my job. I need a minute with my initiate, so I'm not asking you again."

My mom looked torn between breaking the rules and obeying them. I knew how strict she was though, she always scolded me for not following the rules like a good, little girl. She wouldn't be happy about it, but she would leave the room just like Four asked of her.

"Rose, I'm right here if you need me." She muttered, searching my eyes till she was pleased with what she saw and actually left the room.

When we were alone in the room, Four tightened his grip on my shoulder, "That one was more intense than the previous ones, Rose. Tomorrow is the final test, I'm not sure."

He didn't need to explain it to me in more details, I knew what he meant. He wasn't sure if I could make it. Hell, at this point I wasn't even sure. I didn't know what more I could do at this point, I faced every fear head on and eventually I managed to wake up, but the time wasn't good and neither was my reaction to it.

"I need some fresh air."

Four seemed pleased that I finally spoke up, but his grip on me didn't loosen.

"Tell me you're okay. Then I let you have some fresh air while I deal with this."

I could see his lip twitch, making me smile as well.

"I'm going to be okay."

That answer pleased him enough to loosen his grip on me. I got up, apologizing for the mess I made.

"Don't worry about it. Go get some fresh air."

Leaving the simulation room, I walked past my mother, sighing in relief when she let me go. I think she knew I needed some time to myself. We weren't allowed to step outside, not without a full member joining us. A few days ago Four showed me a secret way to the rooftop so I could go up there to get my thoughts sorted out after my horrible simulations. I loved that place. It was quiet and the fresh air did wonders to my body after waking up from those nightmares. I climbed the stairs, my eyes on my feet as I tried to block out the flashbacks which brought back the nightmare I went through. Opening the iron door I was greeted with cold air, instantly waking my body up. I stepped outside, my heart squeezing painfully when I was met with Eric's back. I stood frozen to the spot, hoping my mind made him up. When he turned, pulling the cigarette from his lips his eyes locked on mine, his stormy eyes darkening.

"You smoke."

That was the first thing that I blurted out after not seeing him for days. There were tons of other things I could have said at that moment, but it just surprised me seeing him with a cigarette between his lips. Not once did I taste cigarettes on his lips when we making out or having sex.

"Bad habit." He shrugged, "Can't shake it off though."

He turned around again, puffing out the smoke. He didn't question my presence on the roof nor did he scold me for being there. Slowly I approached him, standing beside him as I took in the horizon.

"You look like crap."

I smiled, "Thanks. That's exactly what a girl wants to hear."

"Just being honest." He kept his gaze focused in front of him, "The simulations?"

I bit my lip, "Yeah."

"They're just that, you know, simulations."

Of all people I was the one who definitely got that, but what I came to realize was that when Eric tried to brutally murder me in my sim I always stood frozen and let it happen. I had the power to make myself realize that it wasn't real, yet my mind refused to work when Eric literally ripped my heart out or when he pushed me off the chasm. I couldn't move or speak. All I could do was watch and let it happen.

"I know."

I felt his eyes on my face, "If you know why do you look like you watched someone kill your pet."

When I felt my stomach clench again, I leaned over thinking I would throw up again, yet it was only my gag reflex playing up.

"Jesus, Rose, that bad huh?" He held out his cigarette to me, "So your sims are about death?"

I stared at the cigarette, knowing it was a bad decision to start smoking right now. It would turn into a bad habit. I reached for it anyway and took a drag, letting the smoke fill my lungs. Surprisingly I didn't choke to death, it actually relaxed my body. I pulled the cigarette away from my lips and stared at it.

"This cannot become a bad habit for me." I whispered, ignoring Eric's amused look, "My sims are about my death." I admitted to him, "Almost in every possible form."

"That's fucked up."

Eric lightened another cigarette, sitting down on the ledge with his back toward the horizon. His eyes searching mine as he took a deep drag from his newly lit cigarette.

"Yeah, well, everything has been pretty fucked up lately."

"You blaming me for this?" He asked, narrowing his eyes on me.

"It's you who kills me in every possible way, so yeah I'm blaming you."

The tension between us was palpable, but I wouldn't back off. My legs wouldn't move and even though it was weird having a pretty serious conversation with Eric I felt comfortable where I was. Any second now he would storm off like he always did, so I could go back to feeling sorry for myself.

"So the other day you were just full of crap."

"What?" I asked, turning my body to face Eric.

He flicked his cigarette away, "When you told me you loved me. You were just messing with me."

"No I wasn't!" I flicked my cigarette over the edge, "I meant every word I said."

He rose to his feet, hovering over me, "I don't think you meant any of that. If you did mean it I wouldn't be in your fucking sim ending your life over and over again, would I?" He pushed past me, his shoulder bumping against my arm as he walked past me.

"You always do this!" I didn't care I raised my voice to Eric, I wasn't letting him try and convince himself that everything I said was bullshit.

I stood still, his back toward me. Reminding me of the scene in the simulation room the other day. Only it was definitely not the same scene.

"Whenever things get serious between us you run off. You push me away and hurt me in the worst possible way." I took a deep breath, finally realizing what my fears were about, "We learn that the fears we face are always metaphors for things in our life. I'm not afraid of you killing me, Eric. I'm afraid of you hurting me over and over again. I know I should move on, but I fucking can't!"

He spun around, facing me. Still keeping quiet as his eyes bore into mine.

"I fucking can't, Eric." The tears I was holding back since the simulation finally streaming down my cheek, "I can't move on. Not from you."

My breathing hitched in my throat when I saw him open his mouth to speak.

"You have to."

Those were not the three simple words I wanted him to say to me. With that he turned and headed to the exit. Once again I watched Eric leave after opening my heart to him. Turning to face the horizon I barely saw anything through the tears. I placed both my hands on the ledge, letting out the sob which threatened to leave my lips anyways. Kneeling down I cried, hoping this was the last time I let Eric hurt me like this. My sobs turned louder when I felt two firm arms wrap around me from behind. The familiar fresh aftershave scent surrounding me. I let my back rest against his firm chest as I cried, letting him hold me as I let everything out.


	16. Heart to Heart

**Chapter sixteen – Heart to Heart.**

* * *

My head hurt, thumping like crazy as I tried to open my eyes. Turning to my side and staying in bed all morning is what I wanted to do, but I knew I couldn't. Today was the final test. Today my life in Dauntless could be over. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Four?"

"Guess again."

Then I did roll off the bed and landed ungracefully on the front of my body, making my aching body hurt even more.

"What are you doing here?" I said, staying on the floor to stare at his booted feet.

It was probably best to get up and face him, but honestly I was too scared to face him. Nothing good ever happened to me while I faced the biggest mistake of my life.

"Seeing this is my bedroom I don't owe you an explanation, Rose."

Jumping to my feet I scanned the room, hearing my heart beat in my ears. This was definitely not Four's small yet cozy bedroom. One thing that was better than Four's bedroom was the space. I could keep enough distance between us to make sure my body wouldn't leap forward and into his arms.

"What am I doing here, Eric?" I asked, wrapping my arms around my body to keep it from shivering.

His bedroom wasn't cold, it was probably the nerves which messed up my system. The headache wasn't fading either. He stayed where he was, intimidating me just with his huge form and hard muscle. His stormy eyes burning into mine.

"You don't remember?"

I bit my lip, "Obviously I don't remember." I muttered, "I wouldn't be asking if I did know what the hell was going on here."

He took a seat on the edge of his bed, "Well, you started talking bullshit again. Then started crying and eventually lost consciousness. So I took you home with me since I couldn't exactly leave your unconscious body on the rooftop."

It pissed me off how he brushed my feelings off like it was nothing. Obviously he didn't think it was nothing since he carried me home with him. If he didn't care at all he would have left my body on the rooftop without giving me a second glance. If he didn't care at all he wouldn't have wrapped his arms around me and held me to him while he let me cry.

"You should have left my body there!" I couldn't contain my anger, "Four knew where I was, he would have come looking for me eventually."

"Even though I would have loved to have this bed all to myself." He let his hand trail over the silky covers, "Four would have made a scene if he found you unconscious on the rooftop knowing I was the last person who saw you up there."

"Wouldn't he make a scene regardless the state I'm in?"

He knew my friends had my back concerning him. If Four, Michael, Zeke or Nate caught sight of me breaking down on the rooftop either one of them would have come to my rescue. Since Eric was in his grumpy mood again I'm guessing they already questioned him about me. The fact that I was still in his bedroom made me think they let it go.

"Shut the fuck up and go take a shower." He pointed to the bathroom, "The final test starts in thirty minutes."

Even though I loved arguing with Eric right now since it was distracting me from the fact that I once again bared my feelings to him and he once again brushed me off and my friends let me stay in his apartment anyways. Michael would have made a scene. Whatever Eric has told him must have eased his mind enough to let me spend the night at his place. Even though all of that happened I still had a test which I had to take today.

"I'm going to take a shower then." I mumbled, spinning on my heels to head to the bathroom.

"Thirty minutes, Rose!"

I closed and locked the door once I was safely inside the bathroom, "Yeah, yeah!"

I focused entirely on getting myself cleaned up. Wrapping a towel around myself I nearly tripped over my own damn feet seeing my toothbrush right there beside Eric's. I had no time to question it and brushed my teeth in a record of time. Getting myself cleaned up actually made me feel ten times better than before. Placing my toothbrush right back besides Eric's in the cup I walked out of the bathroom to see a set of clothes awaiting me on the edge of the bed. No Eric, but a whiff of his aftershave told me he had been here a minute ago. If I questioned Eric's motives right now I would once again break down, I could feel it so without thinking about anything else I got dressed in the clothes he left me and slipped on my boots. I probably could avoid him if I went straight for the front door, no looking behind, just straight ahead. So I did just that, sprinting out of the bedroom and heading straight for the front door.

"Hold up, Rose."

I gasped when his hand slammed right against the door, closing it again when I tried to open it.

"What?" I asked, not turning around so I didn't have to look at him.

"Let's get a few things straight before you start your final test."

I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing so I wouldn't do anything stupid. I kept my mouth shut, because honestly every time I opened my mouth I ruined things between us.

"When I told you all those things I thought you were smart enough to figure it out, what I forgot about is that you're also a girl. And fucking damn girls can't understand more than their fucking feelings when it's concerned relationships and men."

I spun around, tilting my head back to face him head on, "Fuck you!"

He smirked in response, "So listen carefully while I spell it out for you, after this I won't repeat it again and I'll pretend this conversation never happened. If you meant absolutely nothing to me I would have slept with you once, that one time we both were drunk on the chasm and would have ended things then. If you meant absolutely nothing to me I would have let your damn body out on the rooftop and wouldn't have looked back."

"Then-"

"No sweetheart, this time I'm talking and you're the one listening." He covered my mouth with his hand, "I know what you are and you know what I am. The two of us together is one of the biggest mistakes we could ever make. However that doesn't mean we can change how we feel about each other. Do you understand me?" He asked, not taking his hand away so I assume I just had to nod in response.

"What you're going to do is focus on your damn test instead of me. Be the girl who caught my interest, because the whiny, lovesick girl is not the one who I would have chased after."

When I nodded again he finally pulled his hand away and stepped back, "Good. Now leave."

His words might have sounded harsh, but the gentle look in his eyes told me otherwise. Turning around I left the apartment feeling like a heavy weight got lifted off me. It felt good knowing I hadn't imagined things. I would do what Eric asked of me, focus on the test instead of him.

* * *

Four helped me out of the reclining chair, making him the center of my attention instead of the room where Dauntless leaders were assessing my results.

"I'm guessing you two talked." The confusion must have been clear on my face because Four shook his head at me, "I mean he showed up in one of your fears, but he didn't brutally murder you. Fear of commitment, which is an odd one for you."

I nodded, "We talked." I whispered, getting off the chair, "How bad is it?"

Four placed his hand on my shoulder to steady me, "Rose, you're going to make it." He kept his voice down seeing he wasn't supposed to tell me right now, "Let me walk you out."

Four walked me out of the room and suggested I'd run down the dining hall since our friends wanted to have a word with me. Even though the urge to run away and avoid speaking to my friends about what happened between me and Eric I knew I couldn't hide forever. I also owed them, they always had my back. So I headed to the dining hall and prepared myself for the preaching which was coming. I hoped Michael had a shift at the control room because the preaching was definitely coming from him.

"Rose!" Nate greeted, seating across Michael.

Michael had his back to me and didn't bother to turn around, he knew Four sent me. Taking a seat next to him I grinned back at Nate who looked every chirpy this afternoon. I could use a friendly face to look at while Michael preached the hell out of me.

"I'm assuming the test went well." Michael said, taking a sip from his cup.

"It went okay." I confirmed.

"Good." Michael was speaking in short sentences which meant trouble.

"Just bring it on." I muttered, raising an eyebrow at Michael when he glared daggers at me.

"Just bring it on?" He asked, "You think that I love to confront you about the mistakes you made? I have to do this since no one else will. You tend to forget about everything else when he is involved and I cannot let you ruin your life here. You're close friends with Xenia and now I also see you as my little sister so I have to be the big brother here and speak up when you throw your life away for someone who is not worth it."

"I love you too, Michael." I whispered, loving every word he just told me, "So I'll sit here and listen while you get things off your chest."

"Good."

"I think you're making a huge mistake."

"I got that part."

"I don't think you got it." Michael tipped back the rest of his drink, probably needing the moment of silence to calm himself down, "The guy tried to choke you to death. On top of that you have horrific simulations about the guy brutally murdering you in every possible way and he is the first person you run to for comfort. I'm seriously doubting your sanity here, Rose."

"I know it looks horrible, but trust me on this, Michael. He wouldn't hurt me."

"Are you fucking serious right now? Did the lack of oxygen mess with your brain?"

It was hard to recall the conversation I had with Eric that morning with Michael throwing all these things in my face, even though Eric tried to protect the both of us he still acted like a jerk.

"Michael." I never heard Nate raise his voice like that before, "You're the one who doesn't get it. And how could you? You've never been in a serious relationship before, I'm not even sure if you ever fell in love before because if you had you would know that sometimes it doesn't make sense who you fall in love with."

Michael rolled his eyes at Nate. I knew Nate was referring to his own relationship, him falling in love with Xenia.

"I've never fallen in love." Michael agreed, "All I'm saying is that you might want to take a step back and focus on yourself."

"I am." I told him, "Eric and I finally talked. I mean Eric finally talked and I listened and everything he said made a lot of sense. I'll be fine, Michael." I placed my hand on his shoulder, "And I'm really fortunate to have friends like you guys who always have my back."

"We're here for you, Rose." Nate grinned at me.

"So why did you guys let Eric take me home?"

Michael gestured to Nate, "Nate and Zeke were easily persuaded by the guy. It was three against one."

"Three?" I asked confused.

"Four backed off after Eric tried to convince us he never meant to harm you."

I would never understand their relationship. One second they were at each other's throat, the next it felt like they understood each other without needing words between them.

"Eric is on a different kind of warpath right now, isn't he?" Nate sounded very amused, "I can respect that."

"Shut up." Michael huffed, clearly not happy with Nate being on Eric's side on this one.

I nearly jumped onto Michael's lap when I heard a loud screeching noise behind me. I felt a pair of hands grab my shoulders and shake me around.

"We fucking made it, Rose!" Xenia yelled in my ear, "The rankings are up and we fucking made it!"

I totally forgot about checking the rankings after lunch. Guess I didn't have to do that anymore. She kept shaking me around, jumping up and down behind me.

"Damon ranked first, can you believe it?"

I turned to look over my shoulder, "I knew he'd rank first. He eased his way through initiation, Xenia."

She finally released me, "That's true. Let's head to the dorm and start packing, we can stay at home tonight. I'd kill to sleep in a normal bed tonight."

I turned to look at the guys, they both nodded apparently done with this conversation. Getting off my seat I followed Xenia to the dorm and started packing my bag.

"Tomorrow is the banquet." I looked up meeting Xenia's creepy grin, "You going with Eric?"

I noticed she had a bag ready and was about to leave, "You were quick. In a rush to go home?"

Her eyes followed my gaze, "Nah, I'm going to move in with Nate."

I stuffed the last pile of clothing in the bag and zipped it up, "I'm sure Michael is thrilled about that."

"Ecstatic." She walked out of the dorm with me, "So are you?"

I turned to look at her, "Xenia, nothing happened last night. He explained a few things and that was that. So no, we're not going together. I'm not sure if I want to go. I'm just going to get a job and an apartment tomorrow and probably stay at home for the rest of the night."

"No!" She grabbed both of my shoulders and started shaking me, "You better go and if you don't show up I'll make the guys kidnap you and you'll join us in your pajamas for all I care."

I didn't dare to call her bluff. I knew she could persuade the guys to do that and they'd love every second of it. So instead of making a big deal out of it I agreed. I would eat my dinner and head home afterwards, she couldn't keep me hostage the entire not. Especially if Nate was there.

"Fine, I'll go."

She released me, looking quite pleased with herself, "Good. I'll see you tomorrow morning. You were ranked third by the way. Thought you wanted to know." With that she walked the opposite direction, heading to Nate's apartment.

"What's your rank?" I called out, watching her turn around to face me.

"Fifth!" She called out, giving me an overdramatic wave before she turned around and walked away.

It was weird heading home after my mom witnessed one of my fears in the simulation room. I had to face her sooner or later though. So I took a deep breath and headed home, preparing myself for the questions my mom probably had.

"There she is!" I barely had time to close the door behind me, because my dad just scooped me up in his arms and spun me around, "I knew you could do it!"

"Dad?"

Glancing over his shoulder I could see my mother's displeased look. She was definitely not amused with what she witnessed.

"I had to be here." He finally put me down on my feet again, "My daughter becoming a full member is definitely not a moment I want to miss out on."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him again. I forgot how enthusiastic and loud my dad normally was. He always cooled down my mother's mood. Spending time around other people made me realize just how Erudite my mom was. She didn't blend into Dauntless at all.

"I'm glad you're here." I smiled, pulling away from him to grab onto my bag which I had dropped when my dad jumped out of nowhere, "I'm going to put this away and then we'll catch up."

"We definitely need to catch up." My mom called after me when I sprinted to my room.

Dropping my bag on the end of my bed I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the conversation we were about to have. I knew the both of them wouldn't like the conversation, but I was an adult and I could be with whoever I wanted. Not that Eric and I were a thing, which would probably upset them even more. Straightening up I headed back into the living room and took a seat on the couch, kicking my boots off to get a bit more comfortable.

"I'll make something hot." My dad announced, "How about some hot chocolate?"

"That'll be great, dad."

My mom took a seat across me, smiling as she nodded at him, "Thanks, John."

"So, you and Eric?"

"Yeah."

"You're going to explain that? I mean I witnessed a very brutal fear which made me think you were actually terrified of him then at your final test I witness a complete different fear which also involves him. See the pattern here, Rose?"

"I do." I smiled at my dad who placed two cups of steaming hot beverage in front of us, "And there is a rational explanation for that, I just don't want you to overact."

"I do not overreact." My mom said rather calmly, which actually surprised me.

"You do sometimes." My dad whispered to her, taking a seat next to her.

The words just didn't want to leave my mouth. I was going to tell my parents about my relationship with Eric, how crazy did that sound? I couldn't back off now though, not when my mom already cornered me and she expected me to explain things. If I didn't say anything she'd probably barge right up to Eric which didn't sound like a crazy idea to me. He wouldn't feel awkward to have this conversation, because he didn't care about anyone else. At least he'd be able to get the words out.

"Eric and I had a physical relationship which lasted a few weeks. Things ended but I guess mentally I still needed to process everything."

The room fell silent, both of them were just staring at me. Probably wishing I hadn't said those things. Then I saw disbelief flash through my mother's eyes along with anger and disgust. I think those weren't meant for me though.

"You were the girl in his apartment the other day." She whispered, making me bite my lip.

"Yeah."

"Oh god." She buried her face in her hands and leaned closer to my dad, "Rose, of all the men in Dauntless you pick the one who without a doubt would break your heart."

I reached for the steaming hot cup, needing the warmth to comfort me, "I think you missed the part where I said that we only had a physical relationship."

My dad groaned, "Don't repeat that, please. I definitely did not miss that part."

I glanced down at my cup, "Sorry."

"Relationship or not he still broke your heart, didn't he?" She asked, "I mean I saw both your fears, Rose, there is no denying that."

"It doesn't matter anymore, mom. We talked things over, everything is going to be fine."

"That's why your fear changed." She whispered.

"Mom, what happened is between me and Eric, it doesn't affect your relationship with him whatsoever. He never talked to me about your project. Nothing changed."

She looked at me like I just told her pigs can fly, "Nothing changed? Everything changed! That son of a bitch dared to touch my daughter." She was definitely mad at Eric and not at me, "He knew who you were, he knew damn well I didn't want him to get close to you."

I glanced at my dad but he raised his hands up in defense, "I agree with your mother on this one."

"Well, I think you're both overreacting. You're forgetting that I'm an adult. He didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to."

It took a minute for both of them to take in my words. They knew I was right though, I was an adult so technically they couldn't barge up to Eric and fry him for this.

"Okay, what's going to happen now?" She asked, a lot calmer than a minute ago so I think she realized I was right.

"Nothing. I'm going to get my job and apartment settled tomorrow. And that's it."

My dad looked at me, giving me one of those warm smiles which didn't fool me at all. He didn't know what to say or what to do with me.

"Can you give us some time alone, Rose? We need to let this sink in for a minute."

I nodded and headed to my bedroom with my cup of hot chocolate. I didn't mind getting sent to my room, because honestly I also needed the space. I really hoped they would let it go. I think I let things go, and I actually felt a lot better. Tomorrow I would start my new life so I could leave all of this behind me.


	17. Beg me, Eric

**Thanks for leaving me a review, I appreciate it, guys!**

 **Chapter seventeen – Beg me, Eric**

* * *

Xenia was waiting patiently for me at the administration office. There was no line right now considering it was half past eight. I was pretty sure everyone else who passed yesterday was still in bed because of all the partying.

"It's way too early, Rose." Xenia sighed, "You're lucky we're the first ones here. That made it slightly better."

"I'll go shopping with you after breakfast, does that help?"

She glanced over her shoulder, flashing me a grin, "So you finally gave in?"

"If I'm forced to go, I'd like to wear a fabulous dress."

She placed her arm around my shoulders and guided me to the desk where electric blue haired girl was waiting, not looking too happy to be there. Guess someone was also forced to be somewhere she didn't want to be. Or it was just too fucking early for her.

"You can go first." I pushed Xenia toward the desk.

The girl might be pissed about being up so early she was still pretty fast. Xenia was done after ten minutes. Then again the girl didn't need an apartment sorted since she moved in with Nate.

"You're registered. You'll receive an email with all the documents which you have to read through. Jenna, your supervisor will contact you soon to get things rolling."

Xenia grabbed the file the girl shoved toward her and stepped aside so I could sort my things out.

"Name?" The girl asked, glancing at her tablet to check me off.

"Rose-"

"Gotcha." She interrupted me, "Third on the list that wasn't a hard one." It seemed she was scanning through my file and looked up with a massive grin spreading across her face, "I see your apartment has already been sorted. As for the jobs-"

"Wait!" I wasn't sure if I heard her correctly, "My apartment has already been sorted?" I repeated, making sure I didn't imagine the words.

"Yes, you're registered with Eric Coulter. As for the jobs, this is the list you can choose from." She shoved a clipboard toward me, "The ones your instructor and leadership thought would fit you are highlighted."

I turned to look at Xenia. She grinned at me the same way the electric blue haired girl had. A creepy grin which made goosebumps appear on my arms. The other day I did notice Eric never got rid of my stuff at his apartment, but I didn't think it meant anything.

"Those are some kick-ass jobs they selected for you." Xenia scanned through the list, "You should go for faction patrol, I mean isn't it great to go out? You wouldn't be cooped up in this basement for the rest of your life, not that I'm complaining, but it's good to get some daylight."

I glanced back at the list and noticed Wes name next to it. It probably wouldn't be so bad to work together with Wes. He might be Eric's best friend, but he also kind of had my back.

"I'll go with that one."

"Okay, same goes for you. Wes will contact you soon with more info about the job." She shoved a file toward me, "If that's all-"

"No!" I quickly said, making both Xenia and the girl jump at my outburst, "About the apartment arrangement, that's obviously a glitch or something. I need that sorted out. I'm not living together with Eric."

"According to your file you are. It was registered yesterday by Eric. If you need it fixed you have to fill in the paperwork and officially apply for another place. That will take a few days though."

"Don't care, can you hand me the paperwork?"

She nodded and collected the things I needed, "Just fill it in, sign it and bring it back. We'll try and find you a new place soon. Have to be honest with you though, you'll be moving from a massive apartment to a place you can barely live with more than two people."

I took the papers from her and walked away together with Xenia, "I cannot believe Eric put you on his lease." She took the papers from me to scan through it, "So he doesn't ask you to be his date to the banquet, but he does put you on his lease so you two basically live together."

"He doesn't ask me!" I pushed everything in Xenia's hands, "I'm going to talk to him, see you at the dining hall?" I called, already heading to the leader's quarter without waiting for her response.

"Kick his ass!" I heard her call, making me smile.

I wouldn't be kicking his ass, I would just calmly ask him what the hell his problem was. How dare he not ask me to be his freaking date to the banquet, but decide I have to live with him without telling me on top of that.  
I found Eric's office in a record of time and pushed the door open without bothering to knock first. I knew it would piss him off, but right now I think I had the right to enter his office like this.  
My eyes widened when Eric looked up from his computer screen, meeting my gaze. His face looked like it got smashed into a brick wall at least a dozen times.

"Oh my god, what the hell happened?" I asked, kicking the door closed behind me to give us some privacy.

"Your dad."

I backed off, bumping into the door, "My dad did this to you?"

Eric didn't seem bothered with it, he focused back on his screen pretending I wasn't even there. It would have pissed me off, but I couldn't think straight seeing he looked like that because of my dad.

"He attacked me last night." He shrugged.

Eric wouldn't let anyone get away with this, he probably beat my dad half to death. I told them to let it go just like I had, but obviously my parents didn't listen to me.

"H-How is he?"

"Perfectly fine."

"What?"

Eric sighed, meeting my gaze, "He is your dad. I couldn't exactly retaliate."

This just got weirder by the second.

"So you let him beat you up because he is my dad?"

"What's with the fucking interrogation?" He asked, getting annoyed with this conversation, "Don't you have to register for a job or something?"

"Already did that." I barged to his desk and slammed both my hands on top of the wood, "So were you ever going to tell me you put me on your lease?"

He titled his head back so he could look me in the eyes, "I was planning to yesterday, but then your father started using my face as a punching bag so I didn't get the chance to talk to you."

"You came looking for me last night?" I couldn't hide the confusion, but Eric didn't seem to care.

"Yeah."

"You found my dad instead." I bit my lip, rounding the desk and hopped on top of it right beside Eric, "So I guess I don't have to tell you that my parents know about us."

He snorted, leaning back against his chair, "Obviously." He muttered, gesturing to his face, "He'll probably try to kill me when he finds out you're moving in with me."

That reminded me why I came looking for Eric in the first place.

"Eric, that's not a good idea." I tried to explain to him quietly, "We don't know where we're standing. Moving in together right now is a huge mistake."

He had that smug look on his face which I hated, "We know exactly where we are standing."

Nowhere. That's where we were standing. Once again it was Eric taking the shots and me following after him, but that was not how it was going this time. He wanted me in his apartment he needed the ask me, not tell me. I grabbed onto his shoulder, turned his chair toward me so he was facing me.

Leaning in I whispered in his ear, "You want me in your home you need to beg me, babe." With that I hopped of his desk and headed to his door.

"So that's how it's going?" He asked, sounding amused.

I turned to look at him, seeing that he WAS actually amused with the situation.

"That's how it's going." I confirmed.

"It's not me who is going to beg, Rose."

That sounded like a challenge. The old me, the one who was unsure and insecure about her relationship with Eric would have jumped at the opportunity to start living together with him. The old me didn't know what I knew though. Eric wanted me. He needed to push me around to stay in control, however I wouldn't let him get away with that. It was definitely him who would be on his knees.

"I'll see you tonight." I spun around and left his office, closing the door quietly behind me.

* * *

The rest of the day I went shopping with Xenia, letting her help me find a revenge dress. The kind of dress which would have Eric begging on his knees for me. He didn't ask me to be his date tonight, I'd make sure he'd regret it. By the end of the night he'd be the one losing the challenge.

"God, I think I'd turn gay for you." Xenia smirked, running her hand through my wavy hair.

I went all out on hair and make-up, knowing my smoky dark make-up made my blue eyes pop. I went for a nude lip, and three coats of mascara which made my lashes look insane. When I left the bedroom I saw Nate's eyes wander from my face to my breasts. When I met his wandering eyes he actually looked embarrassed and cleared his throat.

"Don't worry, baby, I admired her too." Xenia giggled, giving my rear a slap as she passed me, "It's okay to look."

"I'm not the only one who'll be looking." Nate pointed out, getting to his feet to place his arm around Xenia and pull her close to him, "Thought you didn't have a date to the banquet?"

My lips curled up, "I don't."

"Then I can guess whose heart you are breaking tonight." Nate sighed, "Poor guy."

Xenia frowned, "You actually feel sorry for Eric?" She asked confused, "After one glance at Rose who'll regret ever playing games with her and beg her to leave with him tonight." She looked at me, "Are you leaving with him tonight?"

"I won't if he doesn't do what he is supposed to do." I grabbed my clutch and smirked seeing Nate's eyes linger on my high heels, "You guys ready to leave?"

"What does he need to do?" Nate asked, tearing his eyes away from my heels.

"He knows what he needs to do." I walked past them and opened the door, "We're already late guys."

* * *

When we entered the pit I managed to make a few guys stop and stare, some of them which let me know they appreciated the effort. I didn't care though, I scanned the crowd for the guy who I needed to notice me. We were late for dinner, but we weren't late for the after party and the party was just getting started. I headed for Four and Michael and grabbed Michael's drink seeing he stopped midway because his mouth dropped.

"Thanks for the drink." I said teasingly, tipping back the vodka soda.

Four smirked, nudging Michael who still looked like he couldn't believe what he just saw.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Michael asked, finally snapping out of his trance.

"A dress."

"That's not a dress. I can see you're whole leg. Not to mention your boobs nearly popping out of what you call a dress."

I only grinned wider, "It's a long black dress with a split at the side, Michael. Bottom line it's still a dress."

"And what's up with those fucking heels?"

"You like my strappy heels." I asked, giggling when I saw him rolling his eyes, "I'm in love with my heels, too bad I can't wear them all the time."

"I think you can seriously hurt someone with those." Four said, placing his glass on the counter, "Still looks good on you though."

I wrapped an arm around his waist, "You see, Four's not complaining, why are you?"

"Because you're like a sister to me." He huffed, "Fuck. You're not supposed to look like this."

"Just tell me I look hot right now."

Four chuckled, shaking his head at me while Michael looked ready to explode. Laughing I turned my head when I felt his presence before I saw him. His eyes leaving a burning sensation from head to bottom. His usual stormy eyes looked black, burning hot as his eyes lingered to my arm around Four's waist. The raw desire I had seen in his eyes a minute ago fading into pure jealousy. Dare I say mission accomplished? He'd be begging soon enough.

"What are you guys doing?" Xenia asked, oblivious to the staring contest I had with Eric, "Let's hit the dance floor." She grabbed my hand dragging me away from Four and Eric's eyes.

Dancing wasn't such a bad idea. I started moving my body to the beat, purposely moving more sensual than I usually would knowing he'd be watching me. I was dancing for him. Damon popped out of nowhere together with a girl joining our little group. It didn't distract me from the game I was playing tonight. I spun around still moving to the beat, watching Eric. I noticed Wes joining him, following Eric's gaze. He gave me a nod and leaned closer to Eric, whispering something to him which made both men grin. With that Eric placed his bottle on the counter and headed straight for me. My breathing hitched in my throat as I saw the determined look in his eyes. He placed his hand on the back of my head, his other hand resting on my lower back as he pressed me completely against his firm body and claimed me right on the dance floor, letting everyone see that I was his. His lips moving against mine as he kissed me with everything he had.

He pulled away from me, his lips brushing against my ear, "Fine, I'll beg." He whispered, giving me what I wanted from him the minute I left his office, "Let me fuck you tonight."

That's not what I wanted him to ask me, but I couldn't deny that it made me hot for him. Just those words were enough to make me wet between the thighs. It was the gravelly voice which did it, no doubt about it.

I clutched onto the front of his tight black tee, "You can do better than that." I shot back, biting my lip when I felt him grin his hips against mine, letting me feel how excited he was.

He dropped his hands and stepped back. For a minute I feared he was done and would walk away, instead he grabbed onto my waist tossed me over his shoulder, keeping his hand on my rear to keep my dress in place and walked away from the dance floor. From this angle I could see Xenia and my friends upside down. Xenia held her thumbs up, grinning like an idiot while Damon and Nate just looked confused. Michael shook his head at me, probably not believing what he was witnessing. What I couldn't believe was that everyone stepped aside, making sure to keep away from Eric as he passed the crowd. He headed straight for his apartment, kicking the door closed when we were inside, heading for the bedroom and dropped me on the bed. He looked down at me, the dark promise in his eyes making my core clench.

"You are where you belong. From now on this is your home as well, Rose. That's all you're going to get from me right now."

I didn't need more from him since he made it clear to everyone who I was to him. He claimed me, taking me home with him because he couldn't control himself. For once the roles were reversed and I loved every second of it.

"Okay."

I inhaled sharply when Eric grabbed my ankle and lifted my leg, his lips leaving a kiss right above the straps of my black heels, "Now I'm going to fuck you with you wearing nothing else but these heels." He dropped my leg and reached for his dark jeans, unbuckling his belt, "You look so fucking hot right now."

That's what we did, having sex with me wearing nothing but those strappy heels. It was messy, back clawing sex which had both of us panting, wanting more. I think somewhere through the night my heels tore up his sheets, but he didn't care. He made damn sure I knew who I belonged to. There were no complaints from me though, not when the guy managed to give me four orgasms in one night. Buying my revenge dress was the best idea I had so far.


	18. Disowned

**Chapter eighteen – disowned**

* * *

Last night had been wild, so wild my whole body ached. Rolling to my side I let my hand trail over the spot where Eric had been sleeping, the spot was cold now. The room was cleaned, no clothes were scattered, the only reminder of our wild night was the torn up sheets because of my heels. Glancing down at my feet I smiled, I wasn't wearing my heels which meant that Eric took them off. Pushing the torn sheets off my body I rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I did my morning routine, brushing my teeth and taking a hot shower. It did some good, my body didn't ache that much anymore, but I did feel sluggish. I wanted to crawl back in bed, but I couldn't. There were tons of things I needed to take care of. Getting dressed in Eric's shirt I bit my lip realizing I had no clothes at his place. I took everything to my parents' house but I couldn't enter their house looking like I did now. They were already upset with Eric, this would just make things worse. Quickly changing Eric's sheets, I put the torn sheets aside so he could decide what to do with it and slipped my heels on. It wasn't a great look, but it was better than to walk around in last night's dress. When I entered the living room I didn't spot Eric anywhere either. I reached for the military jacket he left on the one-seat and shrugged it on as well. Zipping it up as I wondered if it was okay for me to go Xenia's apartment and borrow some clothes from her.

"You're up."

Hearing his deep voice, sounding amused made me spun around and jump seeing he wasn't alone. Wes was standing right beside him at the door, his arms folded across his chest while his eyes glittered as amusingly as Eric's.

"I'm up." I confirmed in a small voice.

"It's early."

I had no watch with me nor my tablet so I couldn't check the time. The twitching of Eric's lips told me he was aware of it.

"It's seven-thirty." Wes informed me, "Interesting outfit choice you have there, Rose."

I glanced down at my bare legs, "I don't have anything to wear." I glanced up, meeting Eric's gaze, "But I can't go home like this to get my stuff."

"I reckon your parents won't appreciate it." Eric agreed, walking past me to head to the kitchen, "Coffee?" He asked in general, making Wes and me agree, "I'm going to Xenia's to borrow some clothes and then head home to tell my parents who I'm moving in with and grab my stuff."

"I guess it's better if they hear it from you directly." Eric agreed.

It wasn't weird to have this personal conversation in front of Wes even though he was Eric's best friend and my boss, I didn't start working yet, but he was indeed my boss now. Wes seemed comfortable in Eric's apartment which told me they hung out together a lot. Wes took a seat on the one-seat and reached for his tablet, scrolling away, but I knew we still had his attention.

"You want me to come with?" Eric asked as he placed Wes' cup in front of him and handed me mine.

I clutched the cup with both my hands, "I don't think it's a good idea of you come with." My eyes lingered on his face which was still looking sore from the beating he took, "I don't want you to get another black eye. No offence."

Wes snickered from his seat, his eyes still focused on his tablet. Eric wasn't as amused as his friend was though. He headed back to the kitchen to retrieve his cup and walked with confident strides back into the living room and took a seat on the couch, putting his feet up on the table.

"Like hell I would let him hit me again." His eyes trailed back to me, "No offence."

I was still standing, confused at how comfortable both men were. It was still early, which confused me even more.

"Why are you both up so early?"

That made Wes look away from his tablet, "We had an early meeting with some Erudite hotshots." He didn't sound too happy about that, "A fucking meeting about bullshit which could have been mailed, but I guess I'm just a Dauntless airhead who doesn't know what he's talking about."

Eric sighed, "Why are you blaming me? I wasn't the one who set up the meeting." His eyes flickered back to mine, his stormy eyes simmering darkly which made my cheeks heath up, "I had plans this morning."

Wes snorted, "I agree that banging your girlfriend's brains out is more stimulating than a meeting with Erudite-"

I placed my cup down on the table and moved to the door, "Okay, I'm out."

Closing the door behind me I took a deep breath and was about to walk away when Eric opened the door again and stood in the doorway, grabbing onto my wrist.

"What?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder to meet his stormy gaze.

"You forgot your key." Letting me go he held out a key to his apartment, his lips curling up to a smirk when I spun around and reached for the key, "I thought we agreed you wouldn't walk around the compound half naked?"

"I'm not half naked." I told him as I stuffed the key in his jacket's pocket, "I'm wearing your t-shirt and jacket, I'm actually more appropriately dressed than last night."

His eyes trailed over my body, I could actually see him picturing me in last night's dress. His eyes heated, his breathing picked up. I knew what he wanted and I wanted it to. Just his look made me want what he wanted, but we couldn't. Wes was in the living room and it would be rude to kick him out and I still had shit to do.

"I need to go."

Eric finally locked his eyes with mine again, "Yeah, you should go."

Closing in on him I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. He let me kiss him, his eyes on my face the entire time. When I pulled away I couldn't help but to let my hands linger on his chest. He raised an eyebrow at me when I didn't walk away to get things done today.

"You have shit to do, right?" He asked me, sounding highly amused.

"Hm."

"Then you should probably start moving."

I clutched his shirt, my eyes lingering on his lips, "I want you."

I couldn't help it, he made me all hot and bothered again. Eric chuckled, grabbed me by the waist and spun me around so my back was facing him. He pushed me slightly forward and slapped my bum which made me gasp.

"Go."

I glanced over my shoulder, shocked he just did that. He didn't give me time to react though, with a chuckle he closed the door shut in my face, letting me go on about my day. Shrugging it off I walked to Nate's apartment, trying to muster up all my courage to knock on his door and face Nate and Xenia while wearing my best outfit of the day. Once I reached the apartment I knocked loudly, knowing it was early in the morning so they probably weren't up yet.  
It surprised me when Xenia opened the door, dressed in black yoga pants with leather stripes at the side and a black loose t-shirt. Her feet in military boots. She was pulling her hair up in a bun, her eyes trailing down my body and back up.

"Nice outfit."

I groaned, walking past her to enter the apartment, "I had no choice, I don't have any clothes laying around Eric's place."

Xenia closed the door behind her, "It's your place now too." She reminded me, "Your name is on the lease, remember?"

"I remember." I whispered and took a seat on the couch, "My stuff are at my parents' house though, so if I could borrow some clothes I'd owe you."

She smiled at me, "Follow me, Nate's at the control room so you can change in the bedroom."

Following Xenia I changed into black leggings, slipped into a long, loose gray sweater and clasped my heels back on again. I looked better than a minute ago.

"Okay, so now I'm going to get my stuff and tell my parents about my living arrangements."

I left Eric's shirt with her, slipping his jacket on but leaving it open this time. I searched into his pocket to make sure I still had the key. Once I was certain I had everything I left Xenia's apartment.

"So I'm guessing no breakfast at the dining hall?"

"I could probably do lunch."

Xenia made a face, "I'm meeting up with my supervisor to do some basic training. I'm starting my job next week. How about you?"

"Wes is around so I'm sure he'll inform me about it soon enough."

I went to my parents' apartment, needing a lot more courage than when I went to Nate and Xenia's. Facing my friend hadn't been awful at all, she didn't judge. I knew I wouldn't be so lucky now. My parents would judge, they also wouldn't be happy about me moving in with Eric. I just had to suck it up, be Dauntless about this. Taking a deep breath I knocked on the door, waiting for either mom or dad to open it.

"Rose." Mom opened the door, letting me in, "You didn't bring your key?"

"I forgot." I told her, I shoved my hands in my pockets and spun around to face her, "Is dad around?'

"He is." Mom narrowed her eyes on me, knowing something was up, "What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to you both."

By the look on her face I could tell she already got what I wanted to tell her. She didn't look pleased but she kept her words to herself as she walked to the hallway and called for my dad.

"John, could you please come to the living room." She called, "Rose wants to talk to us."

Taking a seat on the couch I waited for them to get comfortable as well. Mom and dad sat beside each other, their looks telling me they both figured out what I wanted to talk about. I think they had no idea about me moving in with Eric, but they did know it was Eric related. Dad didn't look pleased and this time mom's look actually matched his. For once they were on the same page.

"What do you want to talk about?" Mom asked carefully.

"My living arrangements."

"You sorted everything out?" She asked, the suspicion fading from her eyes, "What job did you get assigned to?"

"Patrol agent, working for Wes."

"You're going to patrol Candor." Mom was more or less talking to herself, but I nodded anyway, "You won't be home that often."

"I haven't discussed the details with Wes yet." I told her, "But I assume patrol officers don't stay at the compound that often."

"They don't." She confirmed, "But I suppose it's good getting fresh air and getting to know more about other factions. Knowledge is power after all."

Yeah, she definitely didn't leave Erudite in her past. I figured working closely with them again made my mom long for life in Erudite again. She never really fitted in Dauntless, she didn't like what they liked. She was always different, but now I knew why. When I shifted my gaze to my dad I could tell he was thinking the same thing. He looked disappointed, but not in her. I think he was blaming himself. I hated seeing him like that and it made me want to keep things to myself, but I also knew people around the compound talked. They would hear it eventually and then they would both be disappointed in me. A lot more than they already were.

"Anyway I also sorted my living arrangement." I glanced down at my lap, not wanting to meet their eyes as I told them about Eric, "I'm moving in together with Eric."

Mom was the first to react, "What?"

"No, you're not." Dad told me, his attention now on me, "You're not moving in with him."

"I am." I told him a lot more firmly, "I wanted you to hear it from me." Getting up I glanced at the both of them, "I'm here to get my things so I can get settled in."

Dad also got to his feet, "Bellrose, you're not moving in with that man." He sounded angry now, "He is not a good guy." He told me, his angry eyes narrowed on me, " We both know it. A guy like that is not good enough to be with my daughter."

Mom got up as well, "I agree with John on this one."

"Mom, you work together with him. If he is up to no good, it's the same for you."

"Bellrose." My dad's voice boomed, his warning loud and clear to me, "You're not moving in with that guy and that's final."

"I am moving in with him." I told them once again, because apparently I hadn't been clear enough, "It's my choice."

"If you move in with him, Bellrose, you're not welcome here anymore."

That hurt. That hurt so much I couldn't even breath. I didn't want to burst out in tears in front of them though. I was too proud for that. Straightening my back I took a deep breath to calm the nerves in my belly.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." I hated how my voice broke but I had no control over that.

Not wanting them to see me break down I walked down the hall to my room to collect my clothes. I filled a duffel bag with everything. Stuffing my tablet on top, I zipped the bag up and shoved the strap of the bag on my shoulder, carrying it out my room as I headed back into the living room. As I was about to walk out my dad stopped me with his warning.

"He is going to hurt you, it might not be now but he will, eventually."

I had no response to that.

"Rose, please think about this." My mom pleaded, "There is no turning back after this."

"Are you really choosing a guy over your family?" My dad asked me, I could hear the hurt in his voice which made me break down. I cried but my back was turned to them so they couldn't see.

"I guess I am." I whispered before I headed out the door, closing it quietly behind me.

They knew things were changing in Dauntless and not for the better. Dad was right, I knew he was. Eventually Eric was going to hurt me, there was no denying that. He knew what I was and I knew what he was, not in details but I knew enough. Yet I couldn't make the decision to leave him.


	19. Retaliation

**Chapter nineteen – Retaliation**

* * *

Yesterday I had an intense argument with my parents, more accurately with my father. I never argued with him and now that I was dating Eric, or not dating Eric since we didn't have the talk yet, things between us was terrible. I hated it, I wanted nothing more than to run to him and tell him I was being silly and if he could forgive me. That was the little girl inside me though. I couldn't give in just because I didn't like the current situation, that it made me feel unsure. I choice to be with Eric knowing what I was getting myself into and there was no turning back, they told me that firmly. So instead of looking back I had to move forward. Starting with the talk I need to have with my boyfriend/roommate. Leaving the bedroom I peeked inside the living room to see Eric sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in one hand and his tablet in the other. It was seven in the morning, early in Dauntless, but Eric was already preparing for his day. My body was used to waking up early so it wasn't hard for me either. Entering the living room I eyed the kitchen, trying to see if there was still coffee left in the pot.

"You going to tell me what happened yesterday?"

I glanced at Eric who snapped my attention back to him, "Hm?"

"You looked like someone stole your piece of cake."

I wrapped my arms around myself, looking anywhere but at him since I felt kind of embarrassed to bring it up.

"My parents won't talk to me anymore."

"So they didn't take the news well."

I nodded, "Dad thought I was making a mistake." I shifted my gaze back to him and narrowed my eyes on him, "But my mom was siding with him, which I found odd. I mean you told me you two got along well."

"Jeanine likes to work with her on this project, your mom has a good grasp on what Jeanine wants the serum to do. So we get along because we have to." He pocked his tablet and got to his feet, towering over me with his height which actually did intimidate me a bit, "I assume that relationship is now ruined since she doesn't want me to fuck her daughter."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "So is this still a physical relationship to you?" I asked since he didn't call me his girlfriend. Wes did, but his opinion about our relationship didn't matter, Eric's did, "I need to know, Eric."

"If it was I wouldn't have put you on my lease."

He wasn't going to say it out loud, but I knew what his actions meant. I guess I had to settle for Wes putting a label on my relationship with Eric for the time being.

"You ready for your meeting with Wes?" He asked me, moving into the kitchen while I followed after him, "He mentioned he had big plans for you."

That made me frown, "I signed up for faction patrol, there is nothing elaborate about that."

Eric handed me a cup so I could pour my own coffee. He leaned against the counter while he watched me prepare my coffee. I poured a quarter milk to my cup and two sugars, stirring it while I met Eric's gaze.

"He isn't going to let you stay at Candor."

"I thought that's what it meant to be a patrol agent?"

"It is." Eric confirmed, folding his arms across his chest which made his black t-shirt tighten around his biceps and shoulders, "But your situation is different."

"How?"

He raised a sharp eyebrow at me, "You seriously asking me that?" He pointed at my cup, "Get some coffee in you, I'm sure your brain is still asleep." He muttered as he pushed himself off the counter and headed into the living room to retrieve his vest, "You're with me, of course I don't want you to spend weeks at Candor."

Things were definitely official between us. He just wasn't going to voice it out, I wondered if he thought it would make him appear weak.

"What's the normal routine for a patrol agent?"

"Three weeks out and one week at the compound." He zipped his vest up, "Wes will make this work." Eric assured me, "I'm heading out. I'll be home late because I'm at Erudite for the day."

That made my heart race, "Is my mom coming with?"

"Yeah, that will be one hell of a ride to Erudite." He didn't look pleased at all, "If you're still awake when I get back we'll talk about your new job."

"Okay."

Eric turned on his heels and headed to the door, glancing over his shoulder, "Don't do anything rash while I'm away. Also no drinking near the chasm." He warned me.

That made me glare at him, "I'm not going to jump."

"Just making sure we're on the same page." He opened the door in one yank, "Stay out of trouble." He warned me, "I mean it, Rose." With that he left not giving me time to react as he closed the door firmly behind him.

Getting ready for the day I headed to the dining hall to have breakfast. Spotting Four easily I took a seat next to him rather than across him so we could have a quiet conversation. The others weren't around so I knew we could talk about things without worrying about the consequences.

"Eric is in Erudite for the whole day."

Four narrowed his eyes on me, "You think it means trouble?"

"Yes."

Four kept his eyes on his tray, but I could tell he was pondering over this. Slowly he looked up and met my gaze, the seriousness causing my breathing to hitch in my throat.

"I'm keeping my eye out on things." He leaned closer, "But you're the one who can find out the most."

I knew very well I was in a position to help others if I betrayed the one I loved. But I honestly had no idea if I could do it. I wasn't selfless, I wanted my happily ever after with Eric. It was stupid considering Eric wasn't stepping back.

"I know."

"Just question yourself if you're capable of letting people get hurt while you were able to do something about it." He got up collecting his tray, "I hope I wasn't wrong about you, Rose. I hope you make the right decision."

He left me to wonder about that, though it had been in my mind ever since I had the fight with my parents. Dad warned me, he told me I'd regret it in the future. If I made the wrong decision about this then everything would crumble before my eyes. I just passed initiation it wasn't fair I couldn't get a break. Finishing up breakfast I went to Wes' office, ready to start with my new job. It would be a distraction which was very welcome right now. Passing through the hallway I caught sight of my dad walking ahead of me in full gear, he was going back to Amity. I wanted to run after him, but instead of listening to my heart I stayed rooted in front of Wes' office and turned to face the door instead, knocking loudly.

"Come in." Wes grumbled.

Stepping inside I closed the door behind me and approached the desk, "Morning."

Wes looked up from his computer, "Morning." His lips curled up to a smirk, "No daring outfit today?"

I sat down in the chair across his desk, "Dauntless isn't ready for my daring outfits."

Wes threw his head back and chuckled, "Can't believe they made a fuss about that. I've seen girls wear close to nothing down in the pit."

"My thoughts exactly." I sighed, "But I suppose in the pit it's allowed. In the hallways it's inappropriate."

Wes didn't look convinced though, "They're making a big deal out of nothing." He murmured, "So let's talk about Candor. I know you're informed enough about faction patrol to know what it entails. We've done the fieldtrip."

"Yeah."

"Three weeks at Candor one week at the compound, that's the normal schedule."

"I'm aware."

Wes smirked, "Eric already told you."

"Eric's sure you're going to work around that schedule."

Wes leaned back against his desk chair making the leather creak, "Is he now?'

"You don't sound like you're going to do what he wants."

Wes didn't answer me right away, instead he observed me for a while, his eyes searching mine. I didn't dare to breath when he analyzed me like that. I sat up straight, making sure I wouldn't look away. I was nervous and Wes knew that, last thing I wanted was for him to think he scared me. I've been chased by Eric while he was on a warpath, ready to hurt me. I'm sure that's as scary as Dauntless leaders can get. Wes wasn't half as terrifying to deal with as Eric.

"I think that you took the job for a reason." Wes sounded a lot more serious, "It will help you grow independent, teach you to take care of yourself. So I think that we should keep the schedule the way it is."

"I don't think Eric is going to like that."

Wes didn't seem to care, "Leave Eric to me. He doesn't own you, Rose. I think we both agree that this is what you need right now."

I nodded, but didn't say the words. Wes didn't need to hear them though, he looked at me and knew I wasn't going to refuse his offer. So we went into details about my schedule. I was going to start next week, my supervisor would be Bryan, the guy I met briefly during our fieldtrip to Candor. Eric wasn't going to like the plans we made, but Wes assured me he'd take care of him. After my meeting I went home to organize my things, they were still stuffed in a bag and since Eric's apartment was also my apartment I wanted to settle in. I was in our bedroom my clothes scattered across at the bed as I reorganized Eric's closet. I was actually having a good time, sipping tea and color coding things when I heard the front door close loudly. I kept quiet as I listened to the footsteps. It wasn't just Eric's, the other pair was lighter. I wouldn't have heard them if I didn't focus. Remaining silent I quietly stepped to the door, opening it slightly to listen to whoever Eric was talking to.

"What do you want me to do about it? The plans have been made and we all agreed to it." Eric sounded annoyed, leaning slightly toward pissed, "You agreed to it." I heard papers being shoveled, "You signed the fucking thing and now you're talking about morals? It's a little too late for that don't you think?"

"That was before-"

"Before what?"

"Before you started dating my daughter. You're at the frontline of this, you can't keep her safe. Your relationship with her changes everything."

The cup coffee nearly slipped between my fingers, making me curse myself. I did make a sound which caused both of them to quiet down. I quietly moved back to the bed, pretending to be occupied with my task as I prayed they wouldn't suspect me of eavesdropping.

"Rose?" I heard Eric call.

I couldn't remain silent that would make them suspect me more, "In here!" I called back.

I heard his footsteps closing in on me, putting my cup on the bedside table I grabbed my neatly folded up black t-shirts and spun around facing Eric who was standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing?"

I glanced down at the stack of t-shirts I was holding, "Cleaning up." I shifted my gaze back to him, "You're not okay with it?"

He narrowed his eyes on me, "What was the noise I heard?"

A lie was only going to be believable if there was a hint of truth to it, so I pointed at the cup standing on his bedside table, "I nearly dropped the cup ruining all my clothes." I hugged the pile to my chest, "I have a whole new wardrobe which I'll protect with my life now."

That made his lips curl up, "I'm going to see your mom out."

I raised an eyebrow, "What's with the look?"

"You know."

He spun around and headed back into the living room. I knew exactly what he wanted and even though I had a lot on my mind I was never going to refuse him. I craved him as much as he craved me. Putting my stack of t-shirts next to his on the shelf I turned around, running smack into Eric who immediately wrapped an arm around my waist and leaned in claiming my lips. Things moved fast, he grabbed onto my hips and threw me on the bed which was still covered in my clothes.

"Eric!"

He grabbed onto my ankle and slipped my boot off, his eye never leaving mine. He reached for my other foot, slipping that boot off as well. I was about to roll away because I didn't want to mess my clothes up when he grabbed onto my leg and pulled me closer to him.

I giggled, "Eric, seriously."

He crawled on top of me, zipping down my pants and pushed his hand in, cupping my soaked panties, "I don't give a crap about your clothes." He brushed his lips against mine, "Just kiss me."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "I do give-" I sucked in a breath when his fingers slipped inside my panties and brushed over my sensitive parts, "a crap about my clothes." I breathed.

"You're not going to wear them much anyway." He took my lower lip between his teeth and gently bit down, "You'll wear an uniform as patrol agent. Since you'll be out three weeks it's the only thing you'll be wearing most of the time."

I pushed against his shoulder to create some distance between us, "You know."

"Talked to Wes first." He told me slipping two fingers inside me which caused me to lose track of my thoughts as I focused on the pleasure he gave me as he moved his fingers in and out, "I thought we agreed that you'd stay out of trouble."

"I didn't get in trouble."

"You decided to take the job."

"That's my choice."

He held my gaze, his fingers never stopping which made me reach my orgasm faster. I was almost there clutching his arm as I closed my eyes, focusing entirely on that tight feeling in my core. I wanted it, I wanted what he gave to me.

"It is." Eric whispered against my lips, "And it's my choice not to give you what you want." He pulled away from me, slipping his fingers out of my panties and rolling off the bed, "You know to balance things out between us."

He strolled into the bathroom closing the door behind him as he left me on the bed, hot and bothered, close to an orgasm but not quite there yet. He played dirty. Eric always played with my mind, he didn't argue with me for not giving him what he wanted even though I agreed with him that morning. So he retaliated. It was dangerous to cross my boyfriend, I needed to keep that in mind.


	20. Eric's Warning

**Chapter twenty – Eric's warning**

* * *

"You leaving this Monday?" Four took a seat next to me in the dining hall, having our usual breakfast date without our usual suspects.

I glanced around the table, "Yep, I'll be gone for three weeks. It seems you're the only one who gives a crap."

Four chuckled, "You didn't hear it from me, but they're planning a party."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "So drinking games and drunk dancing in the pit?"

His lips curled up to a smirk, "You know them so well."

It wasn't hard to figure out though. Zeke and Mike were all about those games, making people do things they would never do with a clear mind. Like shooting Dauntless leaders in the dick, not with a real gone of course, but it was still life threatening. I do had to admit that last time I joined them it caused Eric to freak out and go all caveman on me. That drinking game actually helped me create happy memories.

"Guess I can't complain."

It was Four who was confused this time, "Yeah?"

"I mean I got to kiss you." I teased which made him shake his head at me.

"I'm sure that's why you liked it."

The playfulness faded from my eyes, "Hey, I actually do like kissing you-"

Four burst out in laughter, causing a lot of people to stop what they were doing and glancing our way, all curious, "I'm sure Eric would love to hear that."

"Please, he shouldn't be surprised I'm having fantasies about other men when he is being a dick to me."

Four raised his hand up in defense, still laughing, "Rose, I don't even want to know why you're calling him a dick."

My cheeks heated, "Yeah, I guess I shouldn't discuss that with you."

We had an awkward silence between us until Xenia plopped down across me, her eyes shifting from Four to me. She pointed her fork to me, "I hear you're being hilarious this morning."

I glanced at Four, "I wasn't being that hilarious, I was just informing Four about the facts."

Four grabbed his tray and got out of the seat, "I need to head to the control room, I'll see you guys tonight."

I shifted my attention to Xenia who grinned at me like a creeper, "What?" I asked her confused.

She played around with her food, the smile never leaving her face, "I don't like Eric that much, you know that." She wasn't subtle about it when I told her I was in love with him, so I knew how she felt about him, "So I keep hoping you two, you know, find your way back to each other." She tilted her head back, her eyes dancing with mischief, "Or rather bang your way back to each other."

"I'm done." I told her, reaching for my tray to leave, "I'll see you tonight."

She laughed, "Yeah, go run away. You know I'm right about you two, but you're afraid to admit that."

"See you." I called as I put my tray away and practically dashed out of the dining hall.

* * *

Wes had called me in his office before lunch, wanting to go over some details about my job starting Monday. Three weeks out of the compound, it excited me, but at the same time it also made me anxious. I wondered about Eric. I didn't worry about him cheating on me, if that happened it happened. I was more worried about him being involved in things which were too ominous to say out loud. Mom brought that home when she argued with Eric at the apartment. She wanted out, obviously scared of the plans for the future. Wes shifted in his chair, snapping my attention back to him.

"Bryan will be your supervisor."

"The guy I've met before?"

Wes smiled, "Yeah, he is reliable." Wes pushed a file to me, "I check in with my officers every month. But I want you to know that you can always come to me if something is wrong. My door is always open for you, Rose."

I knew he was still feeling guilty about what happened between me and Eric. He pushed me to be with his friend and then Eric nearly choked me to death. I blamed myself for it, Wes blamed himself for it and I'm pretty sure my friends also blamed themselves for whatever happened. The only one who moved on quickly was Eric, which added to my concerns.

"Thanks, Wes."

He grinned, "No problem." His eyes shifted to his computer screen for a minute before he looked back at me, "So I hear there is a party planned for you. Should I put some officers on patrol in the pit?" He asked, sounding half amused and half serious.

"I think the only thing you should worried about is your precious parts."

Wes chuckled, "Drinking games."

I nodded, "Last time I believe Zeke confessed some heavy things to you."

"The pansycake?"

Laughing I reached for the file and clutched it to my chest, "You remember, alright." I got up and glanced over my shoulder, "You had lunch yet?"

Wes looked intrigued, "You want to have lunch with me?"

"I can't have lunch with my boss, slash, leader, slash, boyfriend's best friend?"

His gaze shifted back to his screen, he did it a few times now which meant trouble. I didn't try to look curious, instead I flashed him a bright smile when he met my gaze again.

"I can do lunch." He told me, getting off his seat.

We left his office together, keeping in the back of my mind to talk to Four about it. Something big was going on in Dauntless, we both knew it and it was our duty to do something about it. We swore to protect the weak, meaning we had to stand up to people who could kill us with their bare hands. I wasn't sure if I could go through with it in the end, my boyfriend was after all in the center of it, but for now I would do what I could to find out what was going on and try and prevent it from happening. If that wouldn't work out we'd come up with a different plan.

* * *

Entering the apartment my eyes landed on the confidential files laying on the coffee table. Letting my eyes travel to the bedroom I nervously shifted on my legs.

"Eric?!" I called, slowly approaching the coffee table.

"In the shower!" He called back.

Dropping my own files on the table I reached for his, quickly scanning through them. They weren't from Erudite since the papers didn't have their symbol on it. As I scanned through it noticed a truck schedule going back and forth from Erudite. Shipment for new serum and new computer equipment. I swallowed nervously when I read through the list of divergent suspects. I remember Erudite ordering Dauntless leadership to deal with divergents. This list meant trouble, these people were in danger. Scanning the list I let out a breath of relief when I didn't spot my name on it. Eric kept me off it. I didn't know if I should kiss him or slap him. My heart started racing when I heard shuffling in the bedroom, quickly putting all the papers back in place and putting the file back on the table.

"Eric?"

"What?" He called back.

He didn't catch me which calmed my chaotic heartbeat. Walking to the bedroom I opened the door and stood in the doorway watching my boyfriend getting dressed. His dark jeans was unzipped and unbuttoned showing his black boxers. His chest bare making me bite my lip as I traveled my eyes up from his defined stomach up to his lightly dusted chest.

"Eyes are up here, sweetheart."

Meeting his gaze I ignored the smug look on his face, "I'm home late today." I leaned more into the doorway, trying to encourage myself not to beg Eric to do me already, "There is a party." I trailed off my eyes trailing down his rock hard body again.

Damn it, I had no self-control whatsoever.

"A party?" He asked, covering his delicious body with a black t-shirt, "Are you going to kiss boys and dance naked in the pit?"

"Maybe I will be doing that." I folded my arms across my chest, knowing it pushed my breasts up my tank top and by the looks of it Eric was just as effected by my body as I was by his, "I mean, my boyfriend can't exactly please me these days."

"Yeah?" The dark look in his eyes should have me running for my life, but I stayed firmly planted on my feet, giving him a challenging look.

"Yeah."

Eric stepped closer to me, suddenly wrapping an arm around my waist and tossing me on the bed. I blinked a few times, pressing my hands against his chest which was covered up by the shirt. His pants was still unbuttoned so I let one of my hand trail down and push it into his pants, brushing my fingers over his erection.

"You dare let another man touch you and see what happens." He warned me quietly, grabbing my lower lip between his teeth.

Eric reached for my pants, undoing my button and unzipping it. He pulled my pants down and without warning let his fingers slip into my panties. A surprised gasp left my lips which gave him the opportunity to push his tongue in my mouth and dominate the kiss. Tightening my grip on him I couldn't help but to smile when a loud groan left his lips, taking the opportunity I wrapped my legs around his and spun us around. Sitting up in his lap I pressed my hands up against his chest and looked down at him, my hair falling over him. He reached up, grabbed my hair tightly in his hand and titled my head back. He leaned up and pressed his lips against my neck. No matter what position we were in he always wanted to be in control. Not having it I slipped my hand in his boxers and gripped him, causing him to fall back on the bed and pull me down with him.

"You are a fucking tease."

"I am?" I brushed my lips against his neck, "I'm not going to jerk you off and stop at the last minute." I reached his ear and lowered my voice, "I'll follow through, giving you what you want, unlike some people here."

Chuckling Eric grabbed onto my hips and spun us around, being on top of me again as he leaned down and gave me a harsh kiss.

"Still sore about that?"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"What do you think?" I breathed, letting my fingers run over the length of him as I loosened my grip.

"I think I'll give you what you want right now." He pushed my panties down my legs as well, "I'll give it to you so hard you'll still feel me when you're out there playing your stupid drinking games."

"Promise?"

He chuckled, placing a swift kiss to my lips. Pushing my hand out of his boxers he pulled himself out and pressed up against me, "Promise." He whispered.

He pushed inside me hard, gripping my hips to keep me in place. It was rough and fast and I definitely felt the echoes of him sliding in and out after we finished. It was a pleasant ache though, it reminded me off the three orgasms he gave me.

* * *

"There you are." Xenia called, her eyes glazed while she held a bottle of beer in her hand, "Took you long enough."

I wrapped my arms around myself, a small smile playing on my lips, "Things came up."

"Sure." She took one look at me and knew what things came up, "So how is the game going?"

She pointed at herself, "How do you think?" A giggle left her lips, "I'm so drunk out of my mind. I can't even see straight."

"That's not a good thing, babe." Nate told her, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her steady, "I think you've had enough." He grabbed the bottle and held it away from her, "Rose didn't even start the game yet, I'm sure you still want to stick around for that."

"I do."

"Then lay off the drinking."

Smiling I walked past them and headed to the circle of friends, "Hey guys."

"Rose!" Zeke got up from the couch and held up a bottle of expensive looking whiskey, "So candor or dauntless?"

"We're starting right away?" I asked, biting my lip when everyone cheered, "Okay, dauntless."

Like hell I would be sharing my deepest and darkest secret with a bunch of drunk people, that would probably get me killed. I was a bad liar, my relationship with Eric proved that. Everyone found out about us pretty fast. If only I had been more subtle about it.

"We dare you to sneak into Eric's office and spray paint douchebag across the wall."

"You serious?" I asked, wrapping my arms around myself.

"You either do it or take the shot." Zeke grinned, holding the bottle toward me.

"Guys, he is my boyfriend."

Mike who didn't look as excited as Zeke sighed, "Apparently that makes it more exciting."

Taking the red spray can from Zeke I sighed, "Fine, I'm leaving Monday anyways. So let's just do this."

Walking out of the apartment I headed to the offices, finding Eric's office door locked. It wasn't a surprise to me, I knew all the offices were locked when the leaders weren't around. Keeping people like me out. I turned to look at the corner of the hallway.

"Guys it's locked." I called, heading toward the people who wanted me to throw myself in front of a bus by vandalizing Eric's office.

"Then you get creative." Xenia suggested which made me throw her a glare, "I'm sure you'll be able to get his key if you tried really hard."

I shifted my gaze to Four, he shook his head at me, telling me it was a bad idea. So instead of doing the mission I reached for the bottle instead. Taking a huge gulp I let the alcohol burn my throat, clearing my throat I handed Zeke the bottle back.

"You are no fun." He told me, sighing in defeat.

Instead of letting his words get to me I walked ahead of them, together with Four heading to the apartment. While everyone else was continuing the game we headed to the hallway leading to the bedroom. Everyone was in the living room making a ruckus so we had some privacy. Four stood across me, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"You made the right call."

I nodded, "I know." I scanned the area before I leaned closer, "I found some information." I whispered to him, "We'll talk before I leave. Just the two of us."

Four agreed. We joined our friends in the living room, trying to play their game without putting our lives on the line. I had a fun night without getting myself into trouble. I didn't want to be on Eric's bad side yet. I was sure I would eventually be on that side so I wanted to enjoy the peaceful little moments as long as I could.


	21. Calm before the storm

**Chapter twenty-one – Calm before the storm**

* * *

Today I was leaving to Candor, starting my first day as a patrol agent. I knew I wouldn't do much my first shift, Wes had assigned me to Bryan and he'd guide me around, show me the ropes. I was looking forward to it. It was a nice change, distracting me from all the bad things that were happening in my own faction right now. I was zipping up my military jacket, looking in the tall mirror while Eric was moving around behind me, getting ready for his day as well.

"I'll walk you to the train."

I spun around, watching him sit on the edge of the bed to slip on his boots, "I'm meeting up with Four, so don't bother. I know you're busy so it's okay."

He looked up, his look so intense I backed up a bit, running into the tall mirror behind me, "Rose, it's nice of you to think about my schedule, but I'll decide if I'm too busy or not." He got up and stepped toward me, grabbing me by the back of my head while he titled my head back to look him in the eyes, "Like hell I'll let Four see my girl off. So you tell him to fuck off."

I pressed my hand against his chest, "I'm not telling my friend to fuck off."

Eric's grip on me tightened, "I don't like you meeting up with him."

I fisted the fabric of his gray shirt tightly, "Four is just a friend." I whispered, hating how small I sounded.

He didn't seem to buy it, "Yeah, and I actually originated from Amity."

With all my might I pushed him off me, "Very fun." I narrowed my eyes on him, folding my arms across my chest in defense, "I wouldn't do that to you Eric."

He held my gaze for a minute, his shoulders slumping which told me he gave up on the subject, "Fine, but I still don't you hanging out with him that often. So you let me walk you to train, yeah?"

"Yeah."

We left the apartment together, heading to the dining hall to have breakfast. Eric reached for my hand when I was about to leave his side and sit with my friends. He dragged me to the leader's table instead, keeping me beside him. I noticed the looks my friends threw me, but all I could do was shrug my shoulders. I guess me leaving for three weeks bothered Eric more than he let me believe. He was being possessive and I liked it. It made me feel secure about our relationship.

"You ready for your first shift?" Wes asked me.

"I think so."

"That doesn't sound very convincing." Wes' eyes were dancing with amusement.

"I guess Bryan will report to you if I royally screwed up during my first day."

Wes shrugged it off, "I'm sure you'll do fine."

His praise meant a lot. I grew a lot closer to Wes and I honestly liked him. I got the feeling that he knew what was going on, but he wasn't as serious about it as my boyfriend. My boyfriend was at the frontline, there was no denying that. Wes gave me the feeling that he didn't give a shit about it, that he just wanted to focus on his tasks as a leader and I admired that.

* * *

Eric and I were walking out of the compound, he was carrying my duffel bag when Max called his name. Both of us turned around, watching the older leader make his way toward us.

"Morning Rose."

"Morning."

He shifted his gaze to Eric, "Erudite wants a conference call." His eyes travelled to the bag Eric was holding, then his gaze shifted to me, "Sorry Rose. We need him right now."

"It's okay." I turned to my boyfriend and held my hand out, "I'll see you in three weeks."

Eric didn't release my bag, instead he leaned in and captured my lips for a kiss. Max cleared his throat, muttering some excuse as he left us to it. Eric wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back just as passionately.

"See you in three weeks." He told me as he pulled away, "Behave."

I took the bag from him, "You too." I warned him.

He chuckled, "Bold." He looked amused.

"If I have to behave the same goes for you." I reminded him.

He reached for me, his knuckles gently brushing over my cheek, "Cute." He gave my head a gentle kiss and walked past me, "We'll see. I might behave I might not."

"Jerk." I muttered loud enough for him to hear.

His chuckle was the last thing I heard before I headed forward, stopping in front of the tracks. I dropped the bag in front of me, glancing at my watch. The train would be here in five. It made me wish Four was here so we could have our private conversation. Eric didn't leave my side for a second though, so we couldn't actually meet like we promised each other. Four got the hint the minute I entered the dining hall. I was glad he was that observant.

"Rose!"

Glancing over my shoulder I watched my mom approach me, worry vivid in her eyes. Turning around I dropped my arms to the side and waited for my mom to speak first.

"When you get back from your first shift we should talk."

"I'd love that." I told her quietly, "I miss you and dad."

The worry faded from her eyes, a small smile spreading across her face, "We miss you too. There has been a lot going on right now and I feel like we should openly discuss it." She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes scanning the area, "Things are going to change though, I'm going to make up for the damage I've done."

That worried me, "Mom!"

"Don't worry about me, I'll be okay."

I doubted that, the things I've read so far scared me. I didn't think it was wise to mess with things we had no knowledge of. I knew mom knew a lot more than I did, but that wouldn't keep her safe. The order was to take care of everything which was a threat to the project Erudite was working on. If mom was a threat they'd take action.

I reached out for her, grabbing onto her hands, "Mom, we'll talk when I get back. Don't do anything rash, it won't end well." I whispered to her.

Mom squeezed my hands tightly, "I'm not going to do anything rash." She promised me.

She didn't tell me she'd stand down either. The sound of the train rushing over made me panic. I knew my mom was going to something stupid which would get her in trouble. I couldn't miss this train though. I was out of ideas. Pulling her into a hug I begged her to stay quiet.

"Please, just stay away from them."

"I'll be okay." She whispered back, hugging me tightly, "It's not right that my daughter worries over me." She pulled back and smiled at me, "I'm the mother here, let me be a mom, okay?"

The panic wasn't fading, but I had no time to wonder about that when my mother grabbed my duffel bag and handed it to me, "Don't be late on your first day." She warned me.

Jumping onto the train, I stood in the doorway glancing over at the platform. My mom waved at me, flashing me an encouraging smile. I knew she promised me everything would be okay, but the upset feeling in my stomach just wouldn't go away. Heading inside the compartment, I leaned against the steel wall, let my duffel bag drop to the floor next to my feet and took out my tablet. I couldn't do anything from Candor, but I had friends in Dauntless who could watch over my mom for me. I knew they'd do it. I couldn't be obvious though, I knew I was being paranoid, but I had a feeling that people were monitoring the compound, making sure there were no loose ends. So I sent for a cryptic message, hoping he got it.

 _Talked to my mom this morning.  
It didn't go so well._

Which wasn't a lie, but I assumed if someone did read my message they'd think I had a fight with my mother.

 _Can you check up on her, make sure she's doing okay?  
I'll owe you._

 _Rose._

I really hoped he understood that message. Four wasn't a mind reader, but he knew enough about the situation. Hopefully I could go through my three weeks at Candor without any problems. I'd rush back home and try and talk my mother out of whatever she was trying to fix. We might not see eye to eye, but she was still my mother. I wanted my family to be safe.


	22. My Promise

**Chapter twenty-two – My promise**

* * *

My shift at Candor was surprisingly fun, I absolutely loved my job. It also made me forget about everything that was going on back home. I was solemnly focused on succeeding so Bryan didn't have to worry about me anymore . We were nearing week three of my shift and I didn't hear any complaints yet, so I assumed I was doing things right. Bryan rarely came back to Dauntless, he was the regular who stayed in Candor and gave commands to officers who did shifts. Wes was the one who left the compound to get an update from his officer. Wes was scheduled to come over when my shift was ending, I think he planned it that way. Bryan agreed.

"Hey Amity!"

I glared at man bun who wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to his side, "I'm not from Amity." I reminded him, pushing him off to keep walking to the court room.

I felt his grin as I walked ahead of him, his eyes piercing my back, "I know that, I just love to rile you up." He easily caught up with me, "Bryan letting you sit through a case?"

"Yeah." I narrowed my eyes on him, "Is that a problem?"

He shook his head, "It's not, it's just so fucking boring. I think the last time an officer got some action in the court room was because he was behaving inappropriately with one of the lawyers." He wiggled his eyebrows at me, "If you know what I mean."

That made me snort at him, "I think even someone from Abnegation knows what you meant by that." I slowed my pace, "So it's going to be a slow day for me. I can do slow."

He threw his arms behind his back and stretched, "I'm doing a round around the mart. See you at dinner later?"

"Sure, later Lex."

He jogged ahead, prepping for his round. I knew the guys always loved doing rounds around the building, that way they got some fresh air. It was amazing during summer, but I knew it would be hell for me during winter. I would rather attend a case at the court than walk around aimlessly to make sure the surroundings were safe too.  
I was about to enter the court room, arriving there earlier than scheduled when I noticed the crowd parting to let someone pass. I let my eyes wander around the crowd to see Wes heading my way, his face expressionless while he approached me with confident strides. People around him parted, letting him pass through easily. I knew Candor weren't particularly impressed by us, but they needed us. Making people follow the law sometimes proved to be very difficult. Sometimes they needed muscle to deal with the situation.

"Rose." Wes greeted, his expression still distant and cold.

"Wes?"

The shift in his posture along with the way his eyes softened as he looked at me, I could tell that whatever he was going to say was going to hurt me. It was written all over him. I braced myself, trying hard to keep my head clear.

"Rose-" Whatever he was supposed to tell me was something he didn't want to do, he dreaded it which made me wonder about my friends and family's health. Wes took a deep breath and continued, "There is no other way around it. I'm really sorry." He looked away from me, not being able to look me in the eyes as he laid it out for me, "We retrieved your mother's body from the chasm this morning."

It didn't process what he told me, I heard the words, but it was just that. Words. Taking a deep breath I blinked away the burning feeling in my eyes.

"What?"

It was a whisper, but Wes heard me. He stepped closer to me, placing his hands upon my shoulders, giving me a tight squeeze to let me know he was there.

"I'm really sorry."

"No." I shook my head, not wanting it to be real, "I talked to before I left. She was okay, she was fine. Why would she-"

Then the most terrifying thought washed over me. Eric. I didn't want my mind to go there, but it did. Mom worked together with him on the secret project for Erudite. She was done with it and she told me she was going to fix things. The order of Erudite telling Dauntless to take out threats. Mom was a threat, so how could my mind not go there?

"Oh my god." It left my mouth before I realized who was standing before me.

"Rose." Wes looked at me with a pained look in his eyes, "Why don't you grab your things. We're going back to the compound."

"Yeah."

I didn't know which way to go, my mind was fried. Thankfully Wes was right beside me, guiding me to Dauntless quarters. Opening the door for me, he stood in the doorway while I packed my things on autopilot. The intense sadness I had felt a moment ago was gone. I was determined to go back to the compound, wanting to find out what happened to my mother. Once my bag was packed I pushed the strap on my shoulder and walked past Wes. He followed after me, staying quiet while I felt his eyes piercing my back. Walking out of merciless mart I heard Lex call my name. Stopping in my tracks I glanced over my shoulder to see man bun jogging toward me.

"You screwed up?" He asked, his eyes traveling to Wes.

"No." I told him, straightening my shoulders, "I need to head back to the compound. My mother was found in the chasm."

Me being so blunt about it surprised him, I could see it in his eyes. He let his eyes travel to Wes again, I could almost hear their silent conversation. Clearing my throat I made his eyes shift back to me.

"We're in a hurry, so…"

"Yeah." He stepped aside, "I'm really sorry, Rose."

"It's okay." I told him, flashing him a small smile and walked past him.

Wes and I waited at the train tracks awkwardly. He didn't know what to say, but he kept a close eye to me. I knew my behavior earlier confused him, I could see it in his eyes. I couldn't tell him the determination to find out what happened to my mother blocked the intense sadness. I'm sure eventually it would catch up with me and destroy me completely. For now though, I was completely fine.

* * *

Arriving at the apartment I headed to my parents' house first. I was sure my father was informed about my mother's death as well, so I wanted to make sure he was okay. Anna was the love of his life, they never met eye to eye because of the factions they originated from, but they were very much in love.  
Knocking on the door I stepped back and waited for a bit, not wanting to use the key I still had because it would be invading on their privacy. I could remember the last spat we had. They made it clear I wasn't welcome here. I knew things changed now, but I still couldn't force myself to use my key.

"What?!" My father had ripped the door open, his eyes looking bloodshot and teary. The hostility faded the minute he realized it was me who dared to interrupt his moment of peace.

"Hey dad." I whispered, dropping my bag to the floor.

Without hesitation I leaped forward and wrapped my arms around his waist while I hugged him, the scent of alcohol making me scrunch my nose. It was the dauntless way to cope. Drowning yourself in liquor. He wasn't far gone, he was still standing firmly on his feet. He wrapped his arms around me as well and let out a relieved sigh.

"Bellrose."

We didn't say anything we just stood there in the doorway, hugging. After a while dad pulled away, took a deep breath and reached for my bag, lifting it effortlessly as he walked into the living room. Closing the door behind me I followed him into the living room and took a seat on the couch.

"I don't understand." I told him, watching my dad drop my bag on the floor next to the couch.

He headed into the kitchen and came back with two brown bottles, handing me one while he took a seat next to me. His eyes fixed on the bottle in his hands.

"Me neither." He spoke quietly, his voice horse and thick with regret, "When I left for my shift everything was fine." I could hear the pain seeping through which made my heart squeeze painfully, "She was smiling and joking around." He shifted his gaze to me, "Talking about mending things with you because no matter what we're family."

I nodded, feeling the tears well up in my eyes again, "When I left for my shift she came to me. Told me she wanted to fix things. She promised me we'd talk when I came back to the compound."

My dad looked defeated, leaning back against the couch while he took a huge gulp from his bottle, "She was fine. So it makes no sense."

Talking to my dad only confirmed my suspicion. Mom was fine, she was suicidal at all. She wanted to fix things. It was Dauntless leadership who interfered, took her life because she was a threat. I couldn't prove it, but I would find the evidence. I promised myself I would. Taking a huge gulp as well I placed my bottle on the table in front of me and got to my feet.

"I'm going home to freshen up. I'll be back soon."

"Leadership will announce her death to the compound tonight. A celebration will be held."

Dad didn't sound happy about it. The love of his life was taken away and people were going to celebrate on it. The whole thought made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't tell him about my suspicions though, it would stir things up. I couldn't lose him as well.

"Are you going to the pit tonight?"

"I have to." His gaze softened, "I'll see you there."

Stepping closer to him I kissed my dad's cheek and pulled away, "Love you dad. I'm here for you."

"Love you too, Bellrose."

Grabbing my bag I left the apartment and rushed to mine. It was still noon so I figured Eric was working, right now it was best if I didn't see his face. I wasn't sure if I could pretend to be happy with him. I needed time to pull myself together and put up a show.

* * *

After my shower I searched through the apartment, but there were no files laying around. Eric had cleaned up, the whole apartment was spotless. He didn't leave his tablet behind either so tonight I wouldn't find out anything. Realizing that I knew I had to talk to my partner in crime. Leaving the apartment I headed to the control room knowing Four probably had a shift. I couldn't enter the room so stood in front of the camera and waved, waiting for them to let me in. It was Michael who opened the door and pulled me into him, hugging me tightly while he told me he was there for me. It was cute, the overprotective brother I never had. Pulling away I flashed him a smile.

"I'll be fine. I have you guys and my dad. I'm getting through this."

"Yes, we're here for you." He told me once again, "Just let us know if you need anything."

I scanned the room, "Four's not in?"

"No, it's his day off." His lips curled up to a smile, "I'm sure he's at home."

"Thanks." Turning around I was about to leave, but Mike stopped me by grabbing onto my arm.

"Your dad asked of leadership to release Anna's body, but they declined the request."

I spun around, narrowing my eyes on Mike, "And that's an odd thing?"

Mike scanned the room, leaning closer as he lowered his voice, "Yes, even though we always cremate the body, the family always gets the opportunity to say goodbye. Even if the body is in no shape. But this time they refused, telling him a bullshit story about Anna's body being in no condition."

"It's odd." I whispered.

Mike lowered his voice even more, "I don't know what's going on, but I'd say that's bad."

"I'll talk to Four." I told him, turning on my heels to leave the control room.

There were two reasons why leadership wouldn't let us see my mom's body. Either it wasn't her and they were trying to cover up who did die or she didn't die because of jumping into the chasm. I was one-hundred percent sure it was the later and if leadership declined my dad's request I was sure his mind was also going there. Hence the early drinking. I hoped he wasn't going to do anything rash. My anxiety was through the roof, but I couldn't stop and take a breath. I didn't have the time.

* * *

Four opened his door a few seconds after I knocked. Holding his door open he let me pass him and closed it firmly behind him. I spun around and faced him.

"This isn't right."

He folded his arms across his chest, his gaze softening, "I know." He whispered.

I ran my fingers through my hair, my stress catching up with me since I was facing someone who knew exactly what I was going through. I didn't have to pretend with Four.

"He killed her." I told him, my voice trembling and sounding weak as the panic slowly creeped up my body, "I know he did. That's why we can't see her. They're covering it up." I started pacing back and forth, my breathing picking up, "He killed her." I whispered again, the words finally being processed by my brain, "Oh my god, what am I going to do?"

Four stepped forward, grabbing me by the shoulders to keep me in place, "You can't do anything." He told me which felt like he slapped me in the face with his words, "It's going to get you killed as well. The best thing you can do is to operate in the shadows."

"I'm living together with him!" I pushed Four away from me, covering my mouth with my hand, muffling a sob, "The guy I'm sleeping with killed my mother."

Four grabbed my chin and titled my head back so I looked him in the eyes, "I know it's tough, but you have to stay with him." He held me in place when I wanted to push him away again, "It's the only way to find out what happened to your mom and what's happening to our faction. To our future."

I shook my head, the tears finally spilling from my eyes, "I can't."

"Yes you can."

"Four, you don't understand-"

He leaned in and kissed me, muffling my protests as he gave me the comfort I needed. He pulled away once I calmed down enough and brushed his thumb over my lips."

"You're not alone in this." He reminded me, "We're all here for you." He narrowed his eyes on me, "I'm here for you. You can do this, Rose. For your mother."

"I can do this." I whispered, trying to encourage myself.

His lips curled up to a gentle smile, "Yes, you can do this." He repeated.

Having calmed down enough we took a seat on his couch and discussed all my concerns. Four didn't know much about what my mother was doing. He kept his promise and kept an eye on her, but she was totally fine just like my father said. It was a shock to him as well that she was found dead in the chasm. He did mention the cameras around that area suddenly breaking down. They fixed it in a few minutes, but it was long enough for someone to commit a murder.  
When it was time for the evening announcement I headed to the pit together with Four. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close to his side as leadership stepped upon their platform and made their announcement. I felt Eric's eyes on me when he spotted me in the crowd. His eyes lingered on Four's arm wrapped around me, his eyes slowly trailing up to meet my gaze. He raised an eyebrow at me, but I didn't respond. He could go fuck himself, I wouldn't tell him that out loud, but it was what I thought. For a second I thought he could read my mind, but then his eyes shifted to Wes standing beside him, whispering something to him.

"It's going to be fine." Four whispered to me.

"It is."

Four and I both jumped, hearing my dad's voice. He stood beside Four, his gaze fixed on the platform where the leaders were standing.

"We'll get through this." He promised me.

His sudden determination inspired me, "We will." I agreed.

Together with the clueless members of our faction we celebrated on my mother, wishing her soul to find peace. I would make sure she would find peace though, even if I had to do things which weren't moral, I didn't fucking care. They would pay for taking her life, it might not be soon, but I had patience. I would wait till the time was right and then I would get my revenge. They wouldn't know what hit them until it was too late.


	23. Faithful

**Chapter twenty-three - Faithful**

* * *

Eric and I were walking from the dining hall, having a quick breakfast together. He had a meeting with Erudite, but he didn't want to leave me alone for a second. I think it had something to do with Four holding me last night, he didn't like it. He didn't comment on it, but I think he kept his words to himself because I had a feeling Wes told him to. My mom passed away last thing I needed was my boyfriend being a dick to me.

"I couldn't pick you up from Candor because things were hectic here."

I didn't ask him for a reason why, but apparently he felt the need to explain himself anyway. Things between us was awkward, mostly because of me trying to keep my distance, but also because it felt like Eric didn't dare to talk to me. Like he was afraid of saying something wrong.

"It's fine."

"You talked to your dad yet?"

"Yeah." I glanced at him, "He is pretty upset because you guys aren't letting him say goodbye to his wife."

"What good would it do him?" Eric asked, brushing it aside like it was nothing.

I stopped in my tracks which made him stop as well and spin around to face me, "What good would it do him?" I repeated quietly, "She is the love of his life, of course he wants to see her one last time and say goodbye to her. There is nothing wrong about that at all. When soldiers die out in the field their family always get the opportunity to see them one last time and say goodbye. That's how it works."

I didn't want to get so worked up, but his nonchalant response infuriated me. It gave me an idea how he would respond if I died. It would mean nothing to him. Life goes on and all that crap. It also brought home my fear simulation. Eric killing me over and over again in every brutal possible way. The anxiety crept slowly up my spine, making me tremble. I hoped he didn't catch it, but he was observant. I'm sure things like that didn't get past him.

"We recovered her body from the water, Rose. Do you know what it does to it?" He folded his arms across his chest, getting into full Dauntless leader mode with me, "It's not a pretty sight or smell. Forgive us for wanting to protect you from it. It's not something you can recover from."

"What has been seen cannot be unseen?"

"Exactly."

It felt like we were talking about something else, but neither one of us were going to admit it.

"I think that leadership shouldn't make decisions for us. If we want to see her body you can't deny us that right."

His look told me something differently, but he wasn't voicing it. Instead he was staring me down, trying to intimidate me into silence. Unfortunately for him I was past trembling in my boots whenever Eric gave you the death glare of the century. I was pissed and felt betrayed by him. Those emotions overpowered the fear.

"Eric." That sweet, calm voice made me snap my head in her direction, "Rose." Jeanine Matthews stopped in front of us, her entourage standing closely behind her which included Max and Wes, "I heard about your mother." She sounded sincere but her cold stare didn't fool me, "My condolences. If you need anything let me know."

I knew I could push it further. I could bring up the subject of us wanting to see my mother's body before it was going to get cremated, but I remained silent instead. Only flashing her a smile.

"Thank you." I told her quietly, "I'm good though."

"You can sit this one out." Wes told his friend while his eyes were on me, "I got this."

"It's fine." I told Wes firmly, "We were done talking anyway." I shifted my gaze to Jeanine and flashed her one of my fakest bright smiles ever, "It was nice seeing you again."

"Rose." Eric called but I ignored him.

Walking past the leaders who were up to no good I headed to my dad's apartment. I knew it was best to inform Four about Erudite's sudden visit, but I didn't have it in me. I always had been a daddy's girl and I needed him right now to get my mind straight. I knew he needed me too. We didn't even have to talk, just sitting in the living room and being there was enough.

* * *

Xenia forced me to have dinner with her and Nate at the dining hall, wanting me to get out so I wouldn't drive myself insane. The others didn't know much about the situation because Four and I kept it a secret, but they knew something ominous was going on. They were helping the way they could, by keeping us company and reminding us we weren't alone. They had our backs.

"How is your dad holding up?" Nate asked quietly.

It was almost cute to see such a big guy walking on egg shells because he was afraid to hurt me, emotionally.

"He is doing fine." And he was, we had a normal conversation when I visited him, his anger slowly fading because there was nothing we could do anyway, "I mean as fine as a man who lost a loved one can be."

Nate nodded, "You let him know we're here for him. Anything he needs."

I smiled, "Thanks. I appreciate it."

"Yeah, no problem." Nate brushed it off, "It's what you do for family."

I couldn't help it, my emotions were all over the place ever since Wes told me about my mom. I was near tears because he was talking like it was nothing. Like it was so normal for my friends to be so fucking awesome.

"You're going to make me cry, Nate."

Xenia laughed, shaking her head at me, "Don't be silly, it's what friends do."

Nate's look dropped as he narrowed his eyes on whoever was approaching our table, "Trouble is coming over. Brace yourself." He whispered to me.

I thought he was talking about Eric until the smell of strawberries mixed with something flowery hit my nose. Glancing up I met the gaze of May. I thought she was going to wish me her condolences like everyone else, but unfortunately that was not the case. The saying 'kicking someone when they were down' applied here.

"It's admirable how strong you are, Rose." I didn't like the tone she used, but I inhaled deeply and tightened my grip on my fork instead, "Losing your mom. Having a boyfriend who fucks around. If it was me I wouldn't be able to face people." A smile spread across her face, "But not you. You don't give a fuck and just keep on going. I admire that. I really do."

Letting my eyes wander to the leader's table I met Eric's gaze. By the way he was glaring at May I could tell she wasn't lying. There were two things I could do at this point. Either I could humiliate myself further and make a scene or I could be the bigger person and keep my head up and pretend it didn't mean anything to me. Like I really didn't give a fuck. As I glanced at Wes I nearly scoffed realizing he knew exactly what was going on as well. It was why he wanted me to spend time with Eric. Of course it was too much to ask to have my boyfriend's best friend taking my side. I shouldn't have thought people would always do the right thing. That was far from the truth. Taking a deep breath I faced the smirking May again.

"I really don't give a fuck." I told her quietly, "I just want to finish my dinner quietly. So out of respect for my mom who treated you like a daughter whenever you paid us a visit you could give me the space I need right now."

She seemed out of sorts because of my response, I think she wanted me to make a scene. I just didn't have it in me. Instead I focused on my food while Xenia and Nate got mad on my behalf.

"Give the girl a break. She just lost her mom, just get away from us you crazy bitch." Xenia was definitely pissed and it was showing.

Nate beside her didn't even calm her down, "Yeah, fuck off."

May wasn't having it though, I think she wasn't leaving until she got a response out of me, "Are you really going to suck it up? I fucked your boyfriend in your fucking bed and it doesn't mean anything to you?" She asked, looking so smug she made Eric look bad, "Are you that desperate? Do you like having the benefits of dating a leader that much? Whoring yourself-"

"I'm done, guys." I told Nate and Xenia as I retrieved my tray and got up, "Too much excitement for me for one day. Talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Rose?" Xenia looked worried, but she didn't have to worry about me.

"I'm fine." I reassured her, "I just need some rest."

Putting my tray away I ignored all the looks I received, keeping my head high as I passed my cheating boyfriend's table as well.

"Rose."

"Not right now, Wes." I told him as I headed straight for the doors.

"Where are you going?"

"Home." I faced their table, not caring all the leaders were seated there, "Where else would I be going? Maybe to Four's apartment to get laid because apparently I have an open relationship and it's totally fine to fuck other people?" They were all holding their breaths, which actually made me feel better, "I'm too tired to give a crap right now. I'm going home to sleep and if you don't trust me you're welcome to walk me home." I raised an eyebrow at him when he didn't move, "No?" I asked and spun around, "Okay, then I'm heading home."

* * *

After my shower I crawled into bed and let my head rest upon my pillow. Sighing I closed my eyes and tried to let all my thoughts go. My body felt sluggish, like I couldn't even move even if I wanted to. I was slowly drifting away when I heard footsteps approaching me.

"Rose?"

I sighed rolling to my side to face away from him, "Not now, Eric. I can't do this right now."

"What did she tell you?"

"Enough."

He took a seat on his side of the bed, his eyes still on me, "I just had one too many and she was there. One thing led to another and before I knew it we ended up here. It didn't mean anything."

I sat up, facing him with the deadliest glare I could muster up, "It didn't mean anything? You fucked another girl in our bed. OUR bed! If the roles were reversed it would definitely mean something so don't feed me fucking bullshit and own to what you did. You fucking cheated on me and there is nothing you can say to make that right. So please just stop fucking talking and let me get some sleep because I'm fucking tired and I just want to forget everything. Give me at least that."

Laying down again I rolled to my side and closed my eyes again. Just like I thought he didn't apologize for his behavior. Instead he went to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. It hurt knowing that in our relationship we weren't equals Not to him. It hurt more knowing he cheated on me and thought it was okay because he was drunk and it didn't mean anything to him. I didn't want to cry, but I didn't have any control over it. I covered my mouth with my hand so I wouldn't make a sound, last thing I wanted was for Eric to hear me. I wouldn't give him that nor May. They could both think I didn't give a fuck at all. It was better than having my weaknesses exposed to people who walked all over me.


	24. Playing Games

**Chapter twenty-four – Playing Games**

* * *

Entering Mike's apartment I closed the door behind me and stepped into the living room. His apartment was small, but I suppose big enough for two people. A pretty standard apartment in Dauntless. Compared to Eric's apartment everyone else's looked too small though. Dropping down on the worn out leathered couch I kicked off my boots and got comfortable. Mike was like my brother, so I didn't mind getting comfortable. Mike took a seat on the coffee table in front of me, his eyes scanning my face. I knew I looked like crap. I got out of the apartment before Eric woke up, so I rushed. I did nothing to hide the redness around my eyes nor did I try to brighten my complexion. I tied my hair in a messy high bun, slipped into some comfy clothes and got out.

"Xenia told me what happened yesterday."

I felt like a fool. I think half the faction knew what happened in the dining hall. How could I face them after they heard how pathetic I was?

"I don't know what to do." I told him honestly, "I shared everything with Four, he told me to stay with Eric. I know it's the right thing to do for the greater good." I took a deep breath, leaning back against the couch, "But what about me?"

"I don't know what's going on right now, but I'm sure Four wouldn't say that if things weren't really serious." He grabbed my hand, causing me to meet his gaze, "That being said, fuck the greater good. To me your mental wellbeing is more important. If you stay a second longer with that asshole you'll destroy yourself."

I smiled, "It's good to hear that someone cares about me." Pulling away from him I reached for my boots and slipped them back on, "I'm going to check on my dad, they're cremating her today."

"Her body is in the morgue."

"It is." I confirmed.

"If leadership isn't letting you see her, why don't you sneak in?"

I stopped what I was doing and glanced up to meet Mike's gaze, "What?"

"We both agree that something is off about their explanation. Don't you want to know why they're refusing your request? How about we sneak in and find out the truth? At this hour most people are still asleep or too drunk to care."

I didn't need to hear more, "Let's do this."

Just like Mike said not a lot of people were around. People usually started to wake up around eight, the early birds were mostly people who were too ambitious. People like Eric. Just thinking about him made the bad kind of butterflies go nuts in my stomach. Shaking it off I followed Mike into the morgue. Not a lot of people were allowed in there and the door opened with a keycard. It confused me he had one, he held up his card.

"Got together with a nurse last night, I'm sure she'll come get it in a few hours so we need to rush."

I narrowed my eyes on him, "Did you bang a nurse just to help me?"

His lips curled up to a smirk, "The things I do for you."

I couldn't help but to giggle, "Yeah, I'm sure it was horrible."

We searched all the names until we came across my mom's, opening it I took a deep breath before I faced her. Mike opened her bag slightly, revealing her face to me. It was awful seeing her like that. Her skin was pale, almost blue looking. She looked stiff, inhuman like. The most awful thing to see was the bullet wound right between her eyes. It looked angry, the blood around the wound dried looking black. The smell of the body got to me, sickening me so much I had to force myself not to throw up. Mike got the hint and quickly zipped up the bag and closed the drawer.

"Her body floated around the chasm for hours."

"Eric told me." I whispered, taking deep breaths to calm down, "I just had no idea it would smell that bad."

"Yeah, it's bad." He whispered.

I wrapped my arms around myself, "Someone did kill her."

Mike nodded, "There is no doubt about it, leadership is covering it up."

We both froze when we heard footsteps coming our way. Holding our breaths we searched for a place to hide. There was none though. We moved to the door and leaned against the wall beside it, hoping whoever was in the hallway would pass us. When the footsteps and voices faded we released our breaths and quickly got out of there. Cameras would have caught us, but I'm sure Four, Mike and Zeke would take care of it. I wasn't worried about that. I couldn't tell dad the truth. I knew it would give him peace if he knew his wife didn't commit suicide. I wanted to give him that, but I wasn't ready for another parents to get shot in the face. No one deserved that.

"I need to find out who killed her." I whispered to Mike as we quietly made our way to the control room, Mike would start his shift early, probably taking care of the footage.

"I'll scan through the footage. The cameras conveniently didn't work around that time, but I'll follow your mother's movement. Maybe I can find a clue, just something, you know."

"Thank you."

"We look out for each other."

Mike entered the control room while I headed to the dining hall, hoping to avoid everyone. It was still early so I knew this was the time to eat breakfast in peace.

* * *

After lunch I met up with Four on the rooftop. We were quietly discussing my mother's murder while keeping an eye out on the truck which came from erudite. Dauntless soldiers were unloading boxes with the words fragile labeled on it. It could be anything, but my mind wondered to the serum which I read about. I knew they were still testing it. so this wasn't the final product, if it was indeed the serum. We couldn't get too close though, so we were watching everything from a distance.

"Eric is being more careful with his papers, he doesn't let anything laying around anymore."

"You think he knows you're onto him?"

I shifted my gaze to Four, "I don't think so. I'm sure he isn't the type of person to let that slip."

"Don't get fooled by him." Four warned me, "He pretends to be Dauntless, but at heart he is always Erudite. They play mind games, they can mess you up without actually doing anything." He stepped closer to me, placing his hands upon my arms as he gently rubbed them up and down, "I shouldn't have asked something like that from you. If you want an out-"

"What the hell is going on here?"

We snapped our heads to the guy who asked us that. Four tightened his grip on my arms as we both stared at Eric's angry form. He had a cigarette in his hand, a lighter in another. He came up here to have a smoke, but caught Four and me mid 'leave Eric' conversation. I'm sure he didn't hear everything, but he heard enough to make assumptions. Like Four mentioned earlier, he was an Erudite at heart. He could put one and one together quite easily.

"None of your business." I told him and turned to look at Four, "Thanks for the talk, see you later?"

"See you later." He confirmed.

Smiling I turned and was about to pass Eric, but he wasn't having any of it. He pocketed his cig and lighter and grabbed my wrist, holding it tightly in his hand.

"I'll walk with you."

I wanted to refuse but his tight squeeze on my wrist actually hurt, so I knew I should keep my mouth shut instead.

"Rose?" Four asked, I could hear the worry in his voice.

Glancing over my shoulder I flashed him a smile, "I'll be fine." I promised him.

Eric didn't give me time to listen to Four's response, he dragged me away from him. Leaving the rooftop in a rush. Once we were inside and the metal door closed behind us he released my wrist and spun around to face me.

"I don't want you hanging around with him anymore."

I couldn't help but to laugh, "You are in no position to make demands in our relationship." I stepped back and leaned against the wall, "And I'm not going to abandon my friends for a shitty boyfriend."

"I told you it was a mistake." He didn't sound sorry at all which infuriated me even more, "It didn't mean anything to me. I don't even remember her face let alone her name."

I stepped forward, lowering my face as I heard the door being opened, "Well I do remember her face and name and every time I look at you I'll hear her words echoing through my mind." I mimicked her voice, "I fucked your boyfriend in your fucking bed." For the very first time I saw something human cross his eyes. Regret? Guilt maybe? "So it might have meant shit to you, but to me it's everything. You destroyed us, Eric." I told him quietly, ignoring the fact that Four was right there, "You did." I turned and walked away, not being able to look at him anymore.

* * *

At home my duffel was zipped open, laying on the end of our bed while I dumped everything which I owned into it. Seconds later Eric walked in, his heavy footfalls making my heart beat faster and faster. Taking a deep breath I tried to calm myself down as I kept tossing clothes into my bag. Ignoring his stare on me.

"Where are you going?"

"Back home."

"This is your home."

I stopped what I was doing to look at him, he was back to his regular self. Like my words didn't even get to him. I had seen the moment of regret in his eyes, or whatever it was. He did care, it was just hidden deep inside. So deep I wasn't sure if it was worth it.

"This is not my home."

"The lease says it is."

I buried my face in my hands, trying to calm my frustrations. Taking a deep breath I dropped my hands and faced him.

"I knew you'd cheat on me." I told him flat out, "When I left the compound for my shift the thought came across and I thought I'd be able to move past it. But it's not just you being unfaithful, you also don't have my back. You're a shitty boyfriend." I gestured between us, "There is no future between us."

He stepped to me and for a second I did feel the fear everyone else felt when they faced Eric.

"I'm sorry I fucked that girl." He told me, "As for your mom, I can't do anything about that. I've told you that. She jumped and died."

I titled my head back, narrowing my eyes on him, "How do you know that?"

"What do you mean?" The calculated look in his eyes made ice rushing through my veins, my breathing picking up as the urge to run crawled up my spine.

"Why are you so sure about her jumping? She wasn't depressed, last time I saw her she was determined. She said she was done with the Erudite project and she'd fix things." The flash of darkness that crossed his eyes told me to correct myself before it was too late, "Fix things between us, you know."

"Did she now?" He stepped even closer, his eyes shifting to my bag, "I know you're still coping with her death, but you need to accept the fact that your mom had problems. Maybe she didn't talk about it with her family, but during her last mental health check-up she asked for sleeping pills." His eyes shifted back to me, "I think a lot more was going on in her life than you were aware of. She ended her life, she chose that faith herself."

Other people would have thought they were wrong, that maybe things were all in their head. But I knew better. Four told me about this behavior. He was playing mind games with me, trying to throw me off my game by talking about my mom's so called mental health issues. His words also confirmed my suspicion though. He killed her. He said she chose that faith herself. If I left now I would never be able to prove it nor would I be able to retaliate. I wanted revenge. This guy wrong me in so many ways and I wasn't going to take it. We'd see who was the better player in this game.

"Maybe you're right." I whispered, taking a seat on the bed next to my bag.

"I have the reports to prove it." He told me, his eyes scanning my face, "I'll let you read them if you're still doubting me." He reached for my bag, turned it around and tossed my stuff out on the bed, "We'll get through this Rose. I fucked up, I'll admit that." He tossed my bag aside and grabbed my face in his hand, making me look at him, "Tell me what to do. Tell me what you want."

"Give me something more, give me a reason to stay."

"You want commitment?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "I thought that us being in a relationship and living together already meant you were committed."

His knuckles brushed against my cheek, showing affection with that little gesture, "I'll take this more seriously." He promised me.

"That's all I want." I whispered.

He leaned in, brushing his lips against mine, "We'll get married."

My eyes widened but he didn't give me time to protest. He covered my mouth with his and pushed his tongue in, making it impossible for me to respond in anyway. Pushing me down on the bed he hovered over me, his lips bruising mine as he gave me a kiss which almost felt like punishment. He had nothing to be furious about though. I didn't understand, but understanding Eric would only make you lose your mind so I tried to shut off my brain as I let him kiss me.


	25. The beginning

**Chapter twenty-five – The beginning**

* * *

Yesterday Eric more or less told me we were getting married. I knew he told me that because of the things I had said. I hadn't been careful with my words because he brought the worst out of me. The look he gave me when I brought up my mother's death was dark and ominous. I made him doubt me even if it was only for a split second. He wouldn't forget. I also told him I wasn't going to stop seeing my friends, Four in particular which drove him mad. They always had been like day and night. Everyone knew it. His jealousy was something I could exploit. That's why I asked Four to meet me in secret by the chasm. I had a plan and I knew my friends wouldn't like it. They would hate me for it, but so much more was at stake here. And I wasn't forgetting about the revenge I wanted for my mother's death. Those weren't going to be empty words, I was going to make that promise come true. No matter what.

"What's with the cryptic message?" Four asked as he approached me.

The water was loud, drowning out our conversation. He once mentioned that this was a safe place to talk because the cameras couldn't pick up the sound. It didn't matter to me they would pick up our meeting. I wanted them to see, I'd let them see what they wanted.

"I have a plan." I told him, standing put.

He stepped closer to me, his eyes wary, "You have a plan?"

I nodded, "You're not going to like it, our friends are not going to like it. But I've been through it over and over again in my head and I know it's the best plan we have so far."

He stood in front of me, narrowing his eyes on me, "Rose, I don't like where this is going. I told you I shouldn't have asked what I asked of you. It's not right. I'm going to help you get out of it-"

"I don't want it." I told him firmly, "Eric proposed to me last night." I shook my head at that, "No, he more or less told me we were getting married. I wanted to smack him for being so arrogant about it but then I realized it's my ticket in."

Now Four got worried, shaking his head at me, "No! Rose-"

"After tonight we're not going to meet again. I need them to think that I'm done with all of you. That I'm fully committed to Eric. I'm going to stand beside him through this, being your inside man." I tried to hide my smile, "Woman actually. To the outside world we'll be enemies. While I try to give you as much information you need to stop whatever is going on." I smiled at him as I stepped forward, cupping his face in my hands, "You'll be the hero Dauntless needs."

Four placed his hands on mine, shaking his head at me, "You can't do this, if things go bad and they find out you'll die-"

"I know." I whispered, "It's a risk I'm willing to take. You can't tell anyone about this. I need this to look real. I need our friends to think that I switched teams, they need to act accordingly so it's believable to Eric and everyone else who is in on this project."

Four held on, but I knew he understood that this was the only way.

"I wish things were different." I whispered to him, "That we didn't have to say goodbye. Getting an out and starting over, with you." Smiling I leaned in and kissed him, long and hard, before I pulled away, "Goodbye."

Walking away from him I headed to Eric's office knowing he was working late. I had seen Erudite cars heading to the compound. They were setting things up. I had no idea when they would strike, but when they did it would mean trouble for everyone.

* * *

Eric looked up when I entered his office after knocking. It didn't surprise me to see two Erudite guys with glasses sitting in front of his desk and a woman who observed me sternly. She was no Jeanine Matthews though. Eric got up from his seat and walked around the desk.

"I'll be right back." He told them as he headed to me, placed his arm around my waist and walked out of his office with me, closing the door behind us, "I'm in a meeting right now." He told me, stating the obvious.

"I can see that." I told him, "This won't take long." I promised him.

"What's going on?" He asked, his eyes scanning my face.

"I told you last night that I want you to give me something more. Something to make me stay and you told me we were getting married."

"I remember what I said." He sounded amused.

He folded his arms across his chest, his black tee tightening around his biceps and shoulders. He might be a jerk, especially to me, but I couldn't control my emotions. Or rather my desires. In that moment I forgot about him fucking May and killing my mother. All I remembered were the orgasms he gave me. I wasn't fucking Abnegation. I was selfish and held grudges. Angry sex could be good too. But I wasn't standing before him to fantasize about him fucking my brains out. I was on a mission so I needed to get to work.

"If you're giving me more I'm willing to give you something in return."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I can leave May in the past." His eyes narrowed on me, "And I can stay at the compound, leaving my shifts at Candor." I stepped forward closing the space between us as I placed my hand on his bicep, gripping it tightly, "I even said goodbye to Four tonight. I'm doing all that for you, but then I need something real from you in return."

"What do you want in return?"

"I need you to have my back no matter what." I told him without wavering once, "Not keeping me in the dark about things like my mother being mentally unstable." I knew it was a lie they had created to make her death seem like a suicide, but I needed to make him think I believed him, "I need you to be honest with me." My lips curled up in a smirk, "And if you ever dare to cheat on me again I'll make sure you won't be able to use your dick anymore."

He chuckled, finally shifting in his stance. He reached out for me, putting his hand on the back of my hand and gripping my hair tightly as he pulled me in.

"I can do that." He told me, leaning in, "I'll set things up for us." He told me before kissing me, quick and hard.

He released me and shifted his gaze to his office door, "See you at home?"

I smiled at him, "Yes."

He left me in the hallway, closing the door behind him. I knew he wouldn't trust me right away with important things, but he'd eventually. I knew he'd believe my act because everyone around us were going to behave the way I wanted them to. I'd get what I wanted in the end. I just needed to be patient.

* * *

Eric came home to me waiting for him, sitting on my knees on the bed while wearing nothing but my lacy bra and panties. His eyes darkened as he took me in, my hair tossed to the side, my teeth biting into my red colored lip. He kicked the door closed behind him, tossed his jacket aside on the floor and closed the space between us, his fingers tightening in my hair while he leaned in to kiss me. The minute our lips collided we both got to work on his clothes. I reached for his shirt, pulling it up while I let my fingers explore his stomach, slowly trailing up to his chest. Feeling the light dust of hair. He pulled away to pull the shirt over his head and toss it aside and leaned in to kiss me again.  
Trailing my hands down I reached for his pants, undoing his button and slowly unzipping it. The sound of the zipper the only sound in the room. He placed his hand on my stomach and pushed me, making me fall down on the bed while he stared at me. Kicking off his boots he reached for his pants and slipped them off along with his socks, carelessly tossing them aside as well.

"You won't regret this." He told me as he crawled on top of me and laid between my legs, his erection pressing against me, "I promise." He breathed against my neck.

I knew he wasn't talking about the sex. It was about my decision to stand beside him. Giving things up in order to make him happy. I knew he'd like that.

Grabbing his chin in my hand I made him look at me, "Actions speak louder than words, Eric."

His eyes darkened, "I know."

His hands traveled down my body, his hand slipping into my panties. It felt like it had been a while, but my body responded to him like it always had. When it came to him my body would always betray me. No matter what he did to me.

* * *

The next morning was the first day as Eric's fiancée and being a complete bitch to my friends. They had to believe I was fully committed to Eric, that I forgot about them. I hoped Four kept things to himself, because if he hadn't things wouldn't work out the way I had planned.  
I was dressed in a black tight short sleeved dress which reached just above my knees. I had tossed my hair to the side and went heavy on the eyeliner and mascara. Painted my lips in my red lipstick which had left marks all over Eric last night and our bedsheets. He didn't complain though.  
He was walking beside me, his lips curled to a small smile while he faced ahead. We were having breakfast together, meeting with Wes to talk about my shift at Candor. I only did half a shift, I'm sure Lex wouldn't be impressed with me. Ditching my shift just like that.  
We entered the dining hall together and headed for the cue which was quite long. Eric grabbed a tray and handed me one. We didn't wait in line though. People didn't like it but I ignored their looks as I filled up my plate and headed to the leader's table with my fiancé. Taking a seat beside him.

"Morning." Wes told us cheerfully, as he took a seat across Eric and reached for his coffee.

We both greeted him back, less cheerfully though.

"You wanted to talk?" Wes asked, his eyes locked on Eric.

"We're getting married." Eric announced without hesitation, "Her shift needs to change. I don't want my wife to be away for three weeks straight. Fix her shifts."

I had to hide my smile. Eric wasn't asking, he was telling Wes, acting like he was his superior. Wes didn't seem to mind though. His eyes flickered to me and I looked back at him, letting him scan my face for answers he was looking for. His frown told me he couldn't read me.

"Alright." Wes agreed, "She'll do patrols around the compound-"

"No patrols." Eric told him, "I need her to be safe. Find something else."

Wes raised an eyebrow at his friend, "You are being serious about this, aren't you?" He asked, not even hiding his surprise, "I'm sorry, but I think I need a minute to process this."

"Take all the time you need, just don't forget about what you need to do." Eric told him.

I placed my hand on Eric's thigh underneath the table and sipped from my coffee. I felt people staring at us, confused about us being so close after all the drama. They wouldn't get an explanation though. The only one who knew what was really going on was sitting at the table I'd never sit at again, ignoring us. Just like I asked of him.


	26. Making Friends

**Chapter twenty-six – Making friends**

* * *

Wes listened to Eric and found me a task which wouldn't risk my life. For now I was grateful because getting killed before I finished my mission successfully would suck. I was sitting across Max and Trevor. Trevor was the serious guy who had no sense of humor according to Xenia. I never spoke to him face to face so this was my chance to get to know him and see for myself if he was indeed the most boring person in Dauntless.

"Initiation is in seven months, a lot is going to change." Max started, "Eric is going to be in charge of it and will oversee both classes." He informed me, "Four and Lauren will be our instructors of choice this year as well."

"Okay."

"The rules are changing, we got greenlight yesterday so we can move things along." Max continued.

I nodded, listening to him first to make sure I got everything he was telling me. I knew things were changing. Max made it sound like it was for the better, but I was sure it wasn't. Trevor beside him was awfully quiet, he wasn't even paying attention. He was engrossed in the file before him, flipping through the pages.

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Attend the meetings Eric is having with the instructors. Write up reports and report back to me."

I was basically his secretary, but it made sure I was close to Eric. I could get as much information as possible. I'd be meeting up with Eric and Max separately. Spying on my soon to be husband for Max and I was sure if I played my cards right I could earn Max's trust and make him talk.

"Got it."

"It's not that exciting." Max's lips curled up to a smirk, "But I heard it's how Eric wants it."

That made Trevor look up and meet my gaze, he didn't speak up though. His eyes were scanning my face, he was analyzing me.

"He doesn't want me to get hurt."

"Keeping the wife safe, I can respect that." Max collected his papers.

"I'm not his wife yet." I shot back, making the older man chuckle.

"He is speeding things up. You're signing the license the end of this week, right?"

"Yes."

He got to his feet and handed me the file he just put back together, "A congratulations is in order, but we'll celebrate it properly once it's official." I took the file from him and forced a smile upon my face. Max didn't know me well enough to know it wasn't real, "Read through the file so you're caught up with everything involving initiation." He gestured to Trevor who was also still seated, "Trevor will talk you through it, but it's good to be on top of things."

"Thanks, I won't let you down."

"That's all I ask."

With that Max left the room, leaving me alone with Trevor. He shifted in his seat and closed the file in front of him, focusing on me instead.

"Let's talk through initiation and I'll point out the changes which were implementing."

"Sounds good."

"Everything is explained in the file, so like Max mentioned read through it carefully. Memorize it by heart. I'm sure Eric will help you with it too."

I noticed how his eyes darkened when he mentioned Eric. I didn't want to flat out ask him if he was not a fan of Eric, but I got that feeling. Whenever Max talked about my soon to be husband he sounded like a proud father. Trevor however, he looked like he bit into a lemon whenever someone mentioned him. It was very interesting.

"I'm sure he will."

"Okay, let's do this."

Trevor talked me through initiation as I knew it and then explained the changes they were making. The next initiation was going to become brutal for transfers. I knew Dauntless born weren't going to struggle. It was drilled into them from the day they were born not to fear the unknown, face your fears and accept it when you failed. If they didn't win their fights they'd accept that they had to leave Dauntless because they weren't worthy. It was going to be tough and a lot of people were going to get hurt, but I knew the class which we needed to be cautious about was the transfer class.

"Eric is mostly going to attend the transfer class to make sure they behave."

"I figured."

"We need to inform the members, letting them know about these changes." He pointed at me, "That's your job. You write Max a speech which he can give so the parents won't get riled up." His lips twitched which told me Trevor wasn't as boring as Xenia told me, he had a sense of humor, "It's a lot more exciting being Max's assistant than patrolling Candor."

"You're so freaking hilarious." I muttered.

He chuckled, "Maybe there is hope for Eric yet."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Why'd you say that?"

He closed the file in front of him, taking his sweet time before he answered me. It was like he needed time to figure out how to tell me what was on his mind. He didn't know I wouldn't judge him though. Like everyone else in Dauntless he probably assumed I was a desperate chick he couldn't wait to get tied down to Eric. Only Four knew the truth, but he couldn't talk because I asked that of him. I'm sure he was pissed at me for it. But he knew it was the only way to uncover everything messed up going on in our home.

"Eric is not the easiest person to get along with, you know that." He looked up, meeting my gaze, "He also has ambitious plans which us Dauntless born are not very fond of. It's going against the original manifest and it pisses off a lot of people. In the end people still go along with him because he has that much pull, but he isn't making friends along the way. you get me?"

"I know."

Now he was the one being confused, "You do?"

"You forgot that I'm also Dauntless born. I had to sit through a dinner with my dad and Eric throwing the manifest in each other's faces. Also the fact that Eric and I argue a lot." I sighed, "And I mean a lot because we don't meet eye to eye when it comes to the rules and everything that comes with it."

"Let me give you a piece of advice and then I'll leave it for what it is." Trevor leaned closer, narrowing his eyes on me as he lowered his voice, "If a person isn't willing to change you can't force them too. No matter how close you are when you're not on the same page, people will still be able to put a knife in your back."

He thought I was marrying Eric to change him. I couldn't be honest with him and tell him I was actually going to stab Eric in the back because I figured a long time ago that I couldn't change him. That he'd hurt me no matter how close we were. I wasn't looking for approval so I kept my mouth shut and let Trevor walk away. Once he was gone I let out a sigh of relief and took a minute to collect my thoughts.

* * *

I went through my week without running into my friends, who were so confused about the situation. Neither Four or I explained things to them which pissed them off even more. Me refused to sit with them or talk to Four made Eric and Wes pay attention. They didn't comment on it, but I felt them watching me every time I sat with Eric at the leader's table. Wondering if I was going to get up and join my friends and go back to the way things used to be. I wasn't going there though. That was in the past. Eventually everyone would figure that out.

"Things will be official tomorrow." Eric told me as we finished up dinner.

"I know."

"Max wants to throw a celebration, he thinks it will do the compound some good."

"He already told me." I placed my hand on his arm and leaned closer, ignoring the eyes which were on us since we sat down at the table in the dining hall, "I rather celebrate things privately." I whispered to him.

I felt Eric tense. He liked that idea, but neither one of us could talk about it. We had an audience. I'm sure our looks told them enough though. I heard Trevor clear his throat while Wes chuckled. Not even pretending not to listen in on us.

"We'll join them for a bit and then celebrate on our own." Eric promised me.

"You have another deadly dress hanging in your closet?" Wes asked me, breaking my moment with Eric.

"No." I faced him, "But I won't disappoint."

Eric beside me didn't say a thing so I figured he didn't mind me wearing a deadly dress which made everyone stop and stare.

"Good, it will be hilarious to watch Eric get all riled up."

Eric grunted, "I don't get riled up."

Wes laughed, "Right, so you didn't get riled up last time?" He asked, reaching for his cup of water, "You were seeing red because she was mingling."

Eric wasn't happy with Wes spilling the beans, but I was enjoying every minute of it. Little by little they were telling me things. Slowly they were going to trust me so much they'd spill more important things like what the fuck Jeanine Matthews was doing here so freaking often. I couldn't flat out ask Eric because he'd catch on.

"She'll be my wife this time, so I'm not worried."

I smiled and bumped my shoulder against his firm bicep, "I won't leave your side, I promise. Whatever I'm going to wear is only going to be for you."

"I don't understand why a girl like her would marry you." Trevor met Eric's gaze, an intense staring contest going on between them.

Trevor was definitely not a fan of Eric, which could work out positively in the future. I figured since he gave me a piece of advice earlier I was already on his good side. Not wanting their staring contest to go on forever I interrupted them.

"Sometimes I don't even know." I muttered and shrugged when Eric narrowed his stormy eyes at me.

Placing his arm around my shoulders, Eric pulled me close to him, "I'll remind you later why you're with me." He told me straight out which actually made me blush.

For once I actually had a nice enough time at the leader's table when Wes muttered something about trouble heading their way. I didn't understand what he meant until her voice made me tense up and lean even more into Eric.

"Whatever you have to say, I'm not interested." I told May, hoping she'd just walk away.

"You're making a mistake." She told me, "Can we talk privately?"

"No." I sat up straight, pulling away from Eric and tossed my hair back, "I'm done talking to you, forever. So if you could respect my wishes, that'd be great."

Wes smiled at May, anyone could mistake it for him being nice. Xenia and I made the same mistake when we thought he was better company than Eric and Trevor. He wasn't. Trevor was by far better company. If Eric committed a crime Wes always drove the getaway car. I learned that the hard way, but now I knew. I could be friendly with him, but his loyalty was to Eric and not me.

"You heard the girl." Wes told May kindly, "Please, just leave it at that, okay?"

She looked nervous, hesitating as she decided to leave or not. She flickered her eyes back at me and for the first time in a very long time I saw the girl who I used to hang out with. Not the bitch who made new friends and decided I was her enemy.

"Bell."

I wanted to get up and talk to her, but I couldn't make decisions like that anymore. I needed to earn the trust of Eric and Wes and possibly Max. He wasn't present now but I'm sure he didn't want any drama. So I shook my head at her.

She leaned closer to me which made everyone at the table put their guard up, "Don't marry him." She whispered to me, but I'm sure Eric heard her.

After she said that she walked away. I'm sure she made her bed by that. I feared for her life, but I couldn't warn her. Instead I glanced at my friend's table. Four had his back to me so I couldn't make eye contact with him.

"You okay?" Eric asked quietly, putting his hand on my thigh.

I met his gaze, "I'm fine."

We said goodbye to the other leader and headed back home. I got ready for bed when Eric burst through the bathroom door and met my gaze.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He sounded so unsure which would have been hilarious, but right now I wasn't laughing. It confused me that May was warning me not to marry Eric. I was pretty sure she wanted me to drown in despair.

"No."

I continued my nighttime routine, not giving him much attention. Mostly because I needed to calm my chaotic mind.

"We don't have to do the celebration Friday, we can get out of it."

He was trying to please me, probably worrying May changed my mind about him. I never figured Eric was the kind of guy who doubted his actions, but he proved me wrong. Turning to face him I showed him he had nothing to worry about.

"We're fine. Everything is fine. I just want to get ready for bed and sleep it off."

He leaned against the doorway his stormy gaze intensifying, "How about you get ready fast and I'll get you off and then you can go to sleep."

Laughing I faced the mirror again, "That sounds even better."

Once he left me to continue my nighttime routine I let out a relieved breath. Everything was going to be fine. I wouldn't worry about May, it made me a bitch, but everything she had done up till now was her own wrongdoing. I didn't need to safe her. I'm sure she'd survive, her stay at Dauntless just wouldn't be pleasant anymore. And I didn't give a fuck, I had other things to worry about.


	27. Red Dress

**Chapter twenty-seven – Red Dress**

* * *

I loved shopping, the collection my favorite shop currently had wasn't that great, but I always loved going through the racks and finding that one perfect item which would enrich my wardrobe. Today though, not even my favorite shop brought a smile upon my face. Last time I was going through the racks Xenia was right beside me. We were messing around, playing around with the idea of robbing Eric of his points. Eric offered me his card this time too, but I refused. I had my own points to spend now.

"Can I help you?"

The electric blue haired shop assistant was peeking over her tablet, her eyes following me around. I knew she knew who I was and why I was there. Since she offered I might as well ask her opinion.

"Looking for a dress." I told her, "But I'm not quite sure."

"Wedding dress?"

I smiled, "No, I already got married this morning." I informed her, "More like a celebration dress."

She walked around the counter and joined me at the rack filled with black dresses, "Have you tried another color?"

I feigned surprise, "My god, you're not just selling black?"

The girl grinned, "I'm thinking this one."

She moved to a different rack at the back of the shop and pulled out a long red dress which would reach my toes even if I wore heels. It had long sleeves with studs on the ends of it. As she turned it around my lips curled up to a devious smile. It was backless, only being tied together with a small silver button.

"I like it."

Her smile matched mine, "I thought you would. Heard your last dress caused a lot of people to stop and stare."

"My last dress was pretty hot."

Electric blue haired girl handed me the dress to try on, "I think the girl in it caused the dress to be that hot." She winked at me.

Chuckling I turned around and headed to the dressing room. I brushed off the fact that the shop assistant just totally flirted with me and tried on the dress. It fitted perfectly, like a match made in heaven. It was tight around my body, showing off everything. As I turned around and glanced over my shoulder I checked out the back. It was perfect.

* * *

Eric was in the living room going through some papers while I was getting ready for tonight's party. He got ready without much effort, his hair was already done. He only switched from his military outfit to something more comfortable and spritzed on some cologne. I'd love to see the look on his face when he realized my modest looking dress wasn't so modest at all. I curled my hair and tied it to the side, making sure my back wasn't covered. I didn't use any eyeshadow this time, instead I went for a bold eyeliner and big bold whimpers and a bright red lipstick to match my dress. Once I was pleased with my look I put on my heels which I wore the previous celebration and met with Eric in the living room. He looked up from his papers, his eyes scanning me from head to toe. He looked surprised but pleased at the same time as his eyes scanned my outfit.

"Didn't expect you to dress so modest this time."

My lips curled up to a smirk, "You like it?" I asked.

"I do actually."

My eyes wandered to the papers he was holding, "You done? Or do you need more time?"

His eyes followed my gaze, "I'm done." He informed me.

Reaching for the pen laying on the coffee table he signed the papers, placed them in their file and left his file on the coffee table. That was a first. He had become more cautious with his paperwork, never letting them sit around the apartment. I think today he was distracted which was a good thing. I'd tire him out tonight, sneak out of bed and take a look.

"I need you to hold my hand so I won't break my neck while we walk to the pit."

Eric glanced back at me, "You're wearing your heels again?"

I lifted the skirt of my dress to show them to him, "Yeah, I think these were your favorite last time."

His stormy gaze darkened, "They were. Just you wearing those heels and nothing more."

I lowered my skirt again and stepped toward him, "If you're good we might repeat that."

He got to his feet and towered over me with his height, "It'd be our wedding night." He reminded me.

Placing my hand against his chest I looked up, "Yes, so let's make tonight more memorable."

He wrapped an arm around my waist, his eyebrows shooting up as he felt bare skin, "Turn around." He whispered deadly.

Smirking I pulled away from him and turned around just like he asked of me. I heard him inhale sharply when he realized my dress was definitely not modest at all. I faced him again and feigned confusion.

"What's wrong?" I asked overly sweet.

He knew I was messing with him, the frown on his face told me so, "You're not leaving my side for even a second." He grabbed my chin and made sure I looked him in the eyes, "You get me?"

"I promised you the other day that I wouldn't"

He wasn't pleased with that answer though, "Tell me you get me, Rose."

"I get you." I confirmed to him which seemed to make him back off.

"Let's just get this over with." He stalked to the front door and opened it, letting me head out first. Locking the door he turned to look at me and held out his hand.

Smiling I took it and tried hard not to laugh when he held onto my hand for dear life, as if he was afraid he'd lose me in the crowd. We headed to the pit together and like last time people stopped and stared, but then quickly shifted their attention because I was pretty sure Eric threw them a glare which would freeze them to dead.  
Eric headed straight for his friends or fellow leaders, I had no idea if he was friends with all of them. For all I knew Wes was his only friend. I scanned the area as we passed the crowd, but I didn't see Four and the others. I wouldn't blame them for not showing up. I behaved like a bitch to them, I had my reasons for that, but they didn't know that. So why would they want to celebrate my marriage to Eric?

"Thought you promised us another great dress, Rose."

Beside me Eric scoffed.

"What?" Wes asked confused.

I leaned closer to my husband who wrapped an arm around my waist and pressed me to his side, his possessive side showing. He didn't care who saw either, he wasn't apologizing for it.

"I need a drink." Eric mumbled.

I felt Trevor's eyes scanning my face, he then flickered his eyes to Eric and announced, "I'll go get us some drinks."

"Trevor is so much more talkative these days." Wes' gaze followed his fellow leader through the crowd, before he glanced back at Eric and me, "Your meeting with him went well I assume?"

"I like Trevor." I told Wes straight out, "He is a no bullshit kind of guy, so yeah, or meeting went well."

Wes narrowed his eyes on me, but he didn't respond to that. I felt him overanalyzing things, but he wasn't going to get it. Trevor wasn't explaining shit to him and I wouldn't either. So he'd only get frustrated trying to understand the shift in Trevor.

"I need to go make a toast." Wes announced, changing the subject abruptly.

Trevor reached us just in time, handing everyone their drinks. Wes took his brown bottle with him and got on the platform, reaching for the mic a green haired guy handed him. The music faded as Wes announced to everyone about our marriage, holding his bottle up to Eric and me as he wished us an excited new adventure. Everyone cheered and the music came back up. Jumping off the platform Wes joined us again, reaching for Eric and pulling him in a big man hug. It was kind of cute, but I didn't let it get to me too much. I wasn't supposed to care deeply for them, it would mess with the fact that I needed them both to pay for what they had done. When Wes pulled away and was ready to pull me in a big hug as well, Eric got all caveman again and pulled me to him. Stopping Wes mid hug.

"Seriously?" Wes asked amused.

"You can congratulate her from a distance."

Wes laughed and held up his bottle to me instead, "Guess this will have to do then."

I smiled and glanced at Eric, "It's just Wes."

"No hugging other men when you're wearing this dress."

"Whatever is wrong with my dress?" I asked, knowing damn well why he was being such a caveman.

Eric tipped his head down, his eyes glaring at me. I felt his hand on my back, the warmth of his touch leaving a burning mark. I loved it. Looking away I gulped down my beer and faced Wes, needing the distraction to keep my mind of my conflicted feelings toward Eric.

"Sorry, no hugs." I raised my bottle toward him, "But cheers."

"Cheers." He smiled.

* * *

Eric and Wes were doing shots in their usual bar and somehow I managed to leave his side, for a second. He didn't notice so I took my chance to take a deep breath and clear my head. Alcohol and the fact that Eric and Wes were somehow good company my head got clouded. I couldn't afford that. Carefully stepping out of the bar I passed the crowd which had thinned, but the party still kept going. I tried to stay low, but with my red dress it was hard to do. Everyone noticed and I had to pretend to care. Taking in their best wishes. Reaching the hallway I went to the place which was always a spot where I went whenever I couldn't deal with things. When I got tired of life. Sitting down I let the sound of the water running drown out all the bad thoughts I had.

"You okay?"

It wasn't the same voice I heard when I ran away from the party where I lost my virginity. But it was a good voice to hear.

"I'll be fine."

"Rose."

He took a seat beside me, his eyes scanning my face, "Are you really going to be fine?" He asked me, "You should be out there celebrating. Yet you're here looking ready to jump."

Brushing the tears away I titled my head to the side and smiled at him, "I'm not going to jump. I have a lot to do."

"Like giving up your life and pretend that you're okay-" He reached for me, his fingers gently brushing the tears which escaped, "When you're obviously not."

That small gesture was going to break me so I pulled away and focused on the water instead, "I thought we said our goodbyes last time we met up. We can't meet again, they can't find out I don't actually hate your guts and couldn't care less about you."

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay, Rose."

"I know." Inhaling deeply, I glanced at him, "I appreciate it. But I think you don't have to worry about me anymore. I think I've found an ally who Eric wouldn't mind me spending time with too much."

"You sure you can trust your ally?"

"Yes." I got up and glanced at the entrance to make sure no one was watching, "He is not very fond of the changes in Dauntless. I think I can trust him. But don't worry you'll meet him soon enough considering we'll be attending meetings you have with Eric and Lauren to make sure things go according to plan."

Four got up as well and smirked, "I think Max is just making you babysit Eric without actually calling it that."

"We all know it, but we pretend it's not a babysitting job."

"So next time we meet again is when we have our first meeting."

I nodded, "Yeah."

Four placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze, "Be careful. And don't hesitate to ask for help. We'll meet outside the base. Since you're a full member you can leave the base without supervision now."

"I need to go, but we'll do that."

Leaving the chasm I headed back to the bar and shared a drink with Eric and Wes who thankfully didn't miss me at all. I knew it should hurt my feelings that my husband didn't notice me being gone at all, but I was more relieved than anything else.

* * *

After riding Eric hard and fast we reached our climax together. He loosened his grip on my hips and helped me slide off him, gently wrapping me up in his arms as we both laid on our sides, catching our breaths. I listened to his breathing, trying to catch when he'd fall asleep. His grip around me loosened after a few minutes, then he rolled to his back taking me with him. I rested my hand on his bare chest and glanced at his face. He was fast asleep. There was no surprise there considering how much alcohol he consumed. I made sure to limit myself to one bottle of beer and two shots. I was tipsy, but that was it. I could still think clearly. Rolling away from Eric I quietly slipped out of bed and slipped his tee on. Glancing over my shoulder I made sure Eric was still asleep. He hadn't moved from his position so I sneaked out of the room and closed the door behind me. I quickly grabbed the file off the coffee table and flipped through it, scanning every page.  
According to the latest report the serum was done, a new improved serum which would show the symptoms of Divergents more accurately. Whoever showed the symptoms had to be reported to Erudite immediately. They needed test subjects for a project which wasn't mentioned in details. I figured the file was only about the serum, scientific jargon which I didn't get. It was painful to see my mom's signature stating that the serum was complete.  
Putting the file back in place, making sure it was in the exact same spot Eric had left it I sneaked back into the bedroom and slipped into bed beside my husband. I pulled the sheets over us both and tried to catch some sleep.


	28. Desperate

**Chapter twenty-eight – Desperate**

* * *

Applying a bold cat eye, I stared at myself in the mirror, tilting my head from side to side. It was good enough, not perfect, but who would notice in our darkened hallways and barely lit rooms? Running my fingers through my hair I loosened the curls and stepped back.

"Rose!"

Eric was seated in the living room, waiting for me. He was getting impatient I could hear it from the bite in his tone. His bad mood would affect the meeting, I was sure Four and Trevor would be grateful to me. Hint the sarcasm.

"I'm coming." I rolled my eyes realizing he could throw that right back in my face, "Do not even go there. It's too easy!"

I appeared in the doorway, making my way toward my husband who had his feet propped up on the coffee table while he was going through his tablet.

"You finally done?" He asked, his eyes scanning me from top to bottom, "We're running late."

"I know." I folded my arms across my chest, ignoring the fact that his eyes flickered from my eyes to my chest, "It's not my fault though."

"You were the one who took forever to get ready."

He got to his feet and pocketed his tablet, walking past me to head to the front door.

"You were the one who started it this morning." I followed after him, confused when he draped his jacket over my shoulders, "What's this?"

"I can see your tits right through that shirt. You're not meeting Four and Trevor like that."

I glanced down at my shirt, it was a bit sheer so my black bra was visible in the right lighting. Like my not so perfect eyeliner, you really had to look closely to notice the flaws.

"I'm wearing a bra underneath it."

"Doesn't leave much to the imagination." He placed his hand on my lower back and pushed me out of the apartment.

Not wanting to argue with him I slipped my arms through the sleeves, the jacket heavy since it was his military jacket. I placed my hands in the pockets and walked beside him, heading to the conference room where Four, Lauren and Trevor were probably already waiting for us.

"You going out today?" I asked, glancing at him.

"Yeah, heading to Erudite after this meeting."

"You've been going to Erudite a lot more than usual." I noticed him clenching his jaw, but he kept staring straight ahead.

"They develop our weapons and serum. It's important to keep our relationship healthy."

"I've seen Jeanine wandering these hallways a lot more than usual too."

"Yes, she's around a lot more."

"Shouldn't this faction operate mostly by itself, using the manifest which was left to us by the leaders who created this faction? How can we call ourselves true Dauntless when we've been corrupted by the ideals of another faction?"

I pushed the door open to the conference room, nearly running into Trevor who by the looks of it heard part of our conversation.

"Rose." Eric warned me, letting me know that discussion was over and done with.

Trevor wasn't having it though, "I couldn't agree more, Rose."

"Oh." I stepped inside the room, trying to hide my face by hiding behind my hair and took a seat across Four, "Glad you agree with me."

He closed the door when Eric stepped inside, taking a seat beside me. We didn't look at each other, but I knew he wasn't pleased. Now his mood was even worse.

"How can I not?" Trevor took a seat at the head of the table and grinned, "You sounded like a true Dauntless. Something we unfortunately can never quite teach our transfers. At heart they always stay true from where they originated from." His eyes flickered to Eric who grunted in response.

"And yet we need the other factions to survive." Eric ended that discussion quickly, "Let's talk about initiation." He glanced at Lauren who sat across him, "I assume the both of you read the email I've sent you?" When neither of them answered he continued, "The rules are changing. We know it'll get confusing so I'll be around more often. Making sure you stick to the rules we're implementing this year."

"The new rules are harsh, Eric." Lauren sounded so small it made me swallow nervously, "Making initiates leave the faction because they couldn't win a fight doesn't seem fair to me. Their talents could be in something else. A sniper doesn't necessarily knows how to beat his or her opponent to a bloody pulp."

"Then it's good they're not just graded upon their fights."

"But according to the new rules they're basically graded based upon their fights." Four cut in, "You beat someone to a bloody pulp and you're in. You lose one fight and you lose so many points it doesn't even matter if you were perfect in target practice or knife throwing."

"Yeah, and what about cardio training? People who could run around the city without needing to catch their breath, do we just abandon them because they couldn't use their fists?"

Lauren and Four were like an united front and I liked it. But I couldn't voice my opinion. I was there to listen and to take notes. Next to me Eric was fuming, but he managed to keep his emotions locked up as he straightened in his chair, ready to change the conversation in his favor.

"So you're saying that the people we're letting pass the stages will only be good in battle and won't be able to learn these basic skills through knowledge of their seniors and hard work? We should just let the weak pass because they already have the knowledge which we are teaching them after becoming a member because it saves up time? Meanwhile we can't teach them to win a battle because quite frankly they're weak and need time to practice. Time we don't have, like we've already established."

I titled my head to the side, observing my husband. It was the first time I was really reminded of the distance between us. He was Erudite, he'd always be Erudite. He just hid it by being brutal and wild. He was Erudite in Dauntless clothing and it was frightening.

"That's not what we're saying." Four shared a look with Lauren, "We shouldn't make the gap between the strong and the weak that big. Everyone should have equal chance of surviving weeks of training which we're pushing them to their limits. They should be rewarded for their hard work, not punished."

"The gap is already there. That's why we train Dauntless born and transfers separately. Transfers have a huge advantage, that should change. It's not fair that we push Dauntless born harder yet in the end they are graded the same way."

"True." I muttered, making everyone shift their gazes toward me, clearing my throat I shifted in my chair, "We have the same grading system yet our classes are far more intense. When we fight it's already brutal because most of us started young with the physical part of initiation."

Four leaned forward, "You think he is suggesting the new rules to make things fair for Dauntless born?" Four asked, his eyes narrowed on me.

I didn't back down though, "Are you suggesting something else?"

We stared at each other, neither one of us backing down. It was Eric who broke the awkward tension in the room.

"We should move past this considering the rules aren't changing. I only informed you, it wasn't up for debate." Eric straightened in his chair and started telling us about all the rules.

No one commented after that, only listening to Eric explaining things and asking of Four and Lauren to hand in their teaching plan. Finishing up my notes I got up once the meeting was over and followed my husband out of the conference room. We were walking side by side, our hands brushing against each other occasionally but neither one of us moved to create more distance or to reach out and actually hold hands.

"What was that?" Eric asked me when we reached his office.

"What was what?" I asked, entering it before him, taking a seat on the chair before his desk.

Eric closed the door behind him and walked to his desk, taking a seat, "You and Four? If I hadn't interrupted you'd be reaching out to claw his eyes out."

I scowled, "I would do no such thing."

"I mean it's adorable that you're having my back, but you two are best buddies…"

I shrugged, internally smirking knowing our act was making Eric believe what I wanted him to believe, "I thought you made a lot of sense. I couldn't keep quiet about that."

"Thanks."

I smiled at him, "No need to thank me. We're a team, are we not?"

He held my gaze for a long while before he answered me, "We are."

I placed my tablet on my lap, "Would you read through my report? I don't want to mess up my first task."

I felt Eric's gaze burning on me so I looked up, "What?"

"Cute." He mumbled, "Send it to me, I'll check it after my meeting at Erudite." He got up and stepped to the clothing hook which held another military jacket and shrugged it on, "Want to come with?"

I tried to stay as calm as possible as I answered him, "You sure you want me there?"

"Yes, we should have breakfast-" He checked his watch, "Or lunch rather, at Erudite."

Getting to my feet I zipped up his jacket, leaving my tablet on his desk, "Sure, I guess we need to spend more time together."

He closed in on me and kissed me hard and fast on the lips, "Good, let's go."

Following after him I tried to hide the victorious grin which threatened to spread across my face. I was slowly moving forward in my plan. I was not delusional, I knew it would take more than standing up to Four and having my husband's back, but we were getting there.

* * *

"Eric." Jeanine greeted what sounded excited for someone who showed no human emotion whatsoever, when her eyes trailed to me she seemed less excited though, "Oh, you brought your girlfriend along. How lovely. Nice to see you again, Rose."

Neither one of us corrected her when she referred to me as his girlfriend instead of his wife.

"Good afternoon." I told her, feigning politeness the same way she was doing.

Obviously she didn't want me there, she thought I didn't notice the slip-up, but only because she thought I was a Dauntless airhead. Eric shifted beside me and handed me his tablet. Giving me something to do, like a parent would do to their child to keep them quiet for a while. It almost made me laugh.

"I'll be quick, then we'll have lunch together." He told me.

"I'll be waiting here." I glanced around the waiting room, "I'll be fine."

"You can work on Max's speech." Eric suggested before he turned to Jeanine, "Let's get this over with." He walked past her and entered her office.

Jeanine flashed me another polite smile before she retreated, closing the door quietly behind her. Glancing around the sterile looking waiting room I walked around, observing people who were passing through the hallways. They pretended I wasn't even there. There were some Dauntless guards, keeping an eye on the place. Nodding at them I took a seat on the rather stiff looking one-seat by the window and Eric's notes, creating a new file. While leaving that in the background I went through his emails. He handed me his tablet so I took the opportunity to spy on him.  
There were several unopened emails, mostly from Dauntless members and leaders. There were also emails from faction leaders, but since they were unopened I didn't dare to tap on them. I needed Eric to trust me completely so getting caught right now was not on the agenda.  
Instead I went through his opened emails with Jeanine, nothing unusual was mentioned through their emails. I assumed he deleted anything which could prove that he was planning something ominous with Erudite's faction leader. Closing the window I went back to my notes and started with the speech I needed to write for Max. Completely focused on that I jumped when I heard Eric step out of the office and approach me.

"Ready?"

I tapped out of my notes and handed Eric his tablet back, "Yeah."

He leaned closer to me, "Jeanine invited us to have lunch with her. I couldn't refuse."

"That's fine." I whispered.

He pulled away and walked ahead of me. He wanted me to follow them as he walked beside Jeanine and talked about the new computer program which they were going to use while monitoring the initiate's fears. They only talked technicalities, but I listened carefully anyway. As we reached the dining hall Eric turned to me.

"Come here." He gestured for me to step closer to him.

He placed his hand on my lower back once I approached him and leaned close to me. It was affection he was showing and by the looks of it, it was something which wasn't normal in Erudite. Jeanine cleared her throat and headed up the line to get her lunch, leaving us in our little bubble.

"I've neglected you." He whispered, "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"I'm keeping you to that promise." I warned him playfully.

"I expect nothing less from you."

We got our food and joined Jeanine at a table away from everyone else. Not that it was needed considering it was pretty quiet around. People were talking, but quietly. At Dauntless we were mostly loud, having a great time, always. Taking a seat beside my husband I placed my hand on his thigh while Jeanine questioned me about my life so far.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm good." I shot a glance at Eric, "I have people who are there for me, so I'll be fine."

"Eric mentioned that you're observing their meetings for now."

"I am."

"You like it?"

She was just trying to make a decent conversation and I would applaud her for trying if I didn't know better. There was just something off about the way she looked at me. You can if someone was being sincere or not. And I had a feeling she wasn't. She was just being friendly because of Eric. I wanted to rattle her, but it wasn't the time or place to cause a scene. I wondered though, if this woman ever showed her human side. She looked robotic, even her tone sounding calculating and cold. Not quite right.

"I like being around the people I care for."

"But you don't like the job." She concluded.

I squeezed Eric's thigh unconsciously, making him look at me, "I'm sure I'll learn to love it."

Eric stepped in, "She was great during our first meeting."

I titled my head to the side and met his gaze, flashing him a private smile, "Thank you."

"Just stating the truth, no need to thank me for it."

"I'm sure you only think that because I supported your views."

He narrowed his eyes on me, "No. You listened to their complaints, told them when they were right but also let them know that change is good. Besides you are Dauntless born and you experienced initiation differently than transfers. It's only fair you all get treated equally."

"Lauren is Dauntless born as well, but she wasn't quite there with you."

"She wasn't either during your initiation." He pointed out.

"You two get along well." Jeanine mentioned matter of factly.

Neither one of us said anything when she called me his girlfriend, but I felt like messing with her. I just wanted to see her unravel.

"I am his wife." I told her firmly, "We are supposed to get along 'well'." I made sure to exaggerate when I used her words describing our relationship.

She shifted her gaze to Eric, "You didn't mention this."

It sounded like an accusation, I felt for the first time that she was showing some kind of emotion. Even if it was anger. She composed herself quickly though, her tone changing completely again.

"A congratulation is in order then." She smiled.

"Thank you."

I wouldn't forget about her reaction though. It was like she was accusing Eric of something.

* * *

We arrived back at the compound at dinner time. After lunch Jeanine showed us, or rather, me around. I didn't try to show anything when I noticed the testing rooms for the serum. She proudly told me about the changes. Eric cut her off when she was getting to the part about it also being a tracking device and muttered something about getting work done. I had a feeling he just didn't want me to know and Jeanine got the hint. We rode the train back to the compound in silence. He seemed restless the entire ride, but he didn't voice it. He stayed close, always touching me in some way. We were about to enter the dining room when I heard a familiar voice call out to me.

"Rose!"

I turned around facing Xenia.

"We need to talk." She told me, glaring daggers at me.

Eric stepped closer to me, getting all protective over me. I noticed and by the looks of it, Xenia noticed it as well. She was scowling, shaking her head t us.

"Now." She pressed.

"I don't have the time right now." I told her, "We'll reschedule."

"Reschedule?" She asked as if she didn't believe I just said those words out loud, "You don't reschedule talks with your friends! You make time to have a fucking five minute or less conversation with me!"

"I don't feel like it." I told her flat out, "You want to rant about my relationship with Eric and we'll never agree on that note. So instead of going around in circles let's say it like it is. You disapprove and I don't give a fuck. So let's just be civil and let each other be." I turned to look at Eric, "Let's go. I do have a speech to finish."

Eric opened the door, letting me walk first. I heard Xenia mutter something about me being a complete bitch lately, but I pretended not to care. Hearing the people I care about say that about me hurt though. I knew I deserved it because I was purposely pushing them out of my life, but it still hurt.

"You could talk to her you know." Eric told me as we grabbed dinner.

"I don't want to listen to her bitch about our relationship."

"You have my back." He stated.

I glanced at him, "I've told you this when I suggested we work on our relationship."

"I know." We headed to our table and sat down beside each other, "But it's different experiencing it."

"You thought I was all talk."

"Pretty much."

"You have my back as well?" I asked, the question making his eyes darken dangerously.

"Of course."

Leaning in I pressed my lips against his, the minute I did that Eric placed his hand against my cheek and tilted my head back to deepen the kiss. We completely forgot about the others at the table until someone cleared their throat.

"Some people are trying to eat here." Trevor muttered, taking a seat across me.

Embarrassed by his comment I pulled away from my husband and sat straight in my chair, trying hard to get rid of the blush that spread across my cheeks. I felt Eric's amused gaze upon me, but I refused to look at him.

"Sorry." I apologized.

"Don't apologize." Wes told me, wrapping an arm around Trevor's shoulders and pulling him close, "You need to loosen up, buddy. They're newlyweds and this isn't fucking Abnegation."

Trevor let Wes be his usual cheerful self, but by now I knew it was an act. I think Trevor knew it too.

Wes pulled away from Trevor and reached for his cup of water, "Haven't seen you two in a while, what were you up to?"

I wanted to tell him that it was none of his business but thankfully Eric responded instead.

"I had a meeting in Erudite and asked Rose to join me."

"Sounds fucking boring." Wes muttered.

He wasn't wrong. Erudite wasn't my favorite place in our city, but you know, it was still part of our city and even though I hated to admit it, all factions relied on their intelligence to keep our city from falling apart. I just didn't know the purpose of Abnegation now that Wes mentioned it. We rarely talked about that faction, but I didn't dare to say anything about it considering Four was from that faction. He was precious to me despite our little argument at the meeting earlier. So I didn't want to offend him.

"It was fine." I shrugged, "I got a lot of work done."

"I'll look into it later." Eric promised me.

"You have a lot to do, later."

Eric's brows shot up at me being so straightforward while Trevor scrunched his nose and Wes chuckled.

* * *

Like promised Eric checked my report and approved of it after doing some minor touch-ups. I immediately emailed it to Max and let him also proof read the speech I wrote. He gave me a lot of things to think about so I decided to correct it tomorrow. There were other things I wanted to do after a long day of tense encounters. I wanted Eric to help me forget. So instead of waiting for him to make a move, I got brave enough to crawl on top of him while he was still reading something through on his tablet and pressed my hands against his firm chest. He didn't look away from whatever he was reading though, so I knew I had to try even harder. Gently running my hands down to his firm stomach I pushed them up under his tee and felt his hard, warm skin against mine. It lit up his eyes, his gaze meeting mine.

"Rose." He warned.

I didn't stop though. Trailing my hands down his stomach I reached the waistband of his pants and slipped a hand inside, gripping him firmly through his boxers.

He hissed, "Damn it."

Smiling I leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth, "You owe me, remember?" I whispered.

He tossed his tablet aside, reaching for my hips which he gripped firmly in his big hands, "You always ask me if I remember the things I said." He squeezed my hips tightly in a warning and flipped us around, making me land rather abruptly on my back as he leaned in, "I always remember." He told me firmly.

He slipped my pants down my knees, his fingers brushing against my wet panties.

"Sometimes I wonder." I breathed, inhaling sharply when he rubbed my sensitive bud.

He leaned in, his hot breath fanning across my face yet his lips didn't quite touch mine yet.

"You'll see, I won't break your trust again."

It was a promise which he already broke. I had no time to dwell on that though, he pulled my panties aside and slipped inside of me. Making me forget about everything just like I wanted. All I could do was feel, his desire for me so intense it knocked the breath out of me. Even though I wanted him to pay for what he had done to my family, I couldn't deny the fact that I wanted him. Desperately. He was the only one who could make me light up the way I did right now.


End file.
